


i just want you to know who i am

by cheryltonis, whatmarianaa



Series: i'd give up forever to touch you [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Bullying, ChONI AU, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, almost everyone is ooc, cheryl is a nerd, homophobic slurs will be used, its the 90s, toni is actually a softie, toni is popular
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:36:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 142,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16047158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryltonis/pseuds/cheryltonis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatmarianaa/pseuds/whatmarianaa
Summary: it's hard enough being a teenager in 1995. but to cheryl blossom, nothing is harder than being the pastor's daughter with a secret crush on toni topaz, riverdale high's resident hbic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so, i'm hoping this hasn't been done for a choni fic before. i watched 'everything sucks!' and was inspired, but i haven't written an actual chaptered fic in years, so bear with me. it's an au and it's gonna be very ooc, but i'll try my hardest to make it believable. and hopefully you all enjoy it enough to come back for each update!

Cheryl Blossom ran her hairbrush through her long red locks, accidentally hitting the edge of her wire-framed glasses for what felt like the thousandth time. Her hair was straight, as always, laying limply by her cheeks. She could never do anything with it, not that she really wanted to. She didn't need that kind of attention. For someone who felt invisible 99% of the time, Cheryl knew that one little change to her hair would earn her mocking comments about how she was trying too hard to fit in. It wasn't proper for a pastor's daughter to tease her hair up anyways.

After straightening the wrinkles in her new pale blue cable knit sweater, she glanced herself over in the mirror one last time, hoping there was nothing about her outfit that made her an easy target today. If it wasn't her clothes, it was her hair. If it wasn't her hair, it was her glasses. The bullies in her grade at Riverdale High always found something to pick at, no matter how small. She was used to it at this point, considering she'd been their main target since the first day her parents enrolled her in public school back in seventh grade. Figures Clifford and Penelope Blossom would pick the _worst_ possible year to make her the weird, homeschooled new kid. But now it was the first day of junior year and she hoped, like every year, that things would be different.

"Cheryl, come eat breakfast before you're late for school," her mother's voice rang from the bottom of the stairs, causing her back to snap straight before she slung her purple Jansport backpack over her shoulder, her pristine white Keds carrying her down the steps. Her father was reading the paper at the dining room table, making 'tsk' noises with his teeth as he read over the obituaries. Cheryl never understood her father's fascination with reading them. It was like he liked to keep score of what the leading causes of death in Riverdale were, and currently jingle jangle overdoses were the leading contender. 

"Scum," he spat, putting the paper down and sipping at his black coffee, "Another innocent life taken by the devil's powder candy."

Cheryl sat down quietly at the table, biting into her slightly burnt toast, not involving herself in her parent's conversation over how Mayor McCoy should shut down the South Side all together. Her father may have been the local pastor, but he was quite the gossip, and he somehow knew everyone's business. Even those who weren't involved in the church. It didn't exactly make the young redhead very popular with the kids at school. The Blossoms were responsible for a lot of closing businesses, lost jobs, and broken families around Riverdale. Her father had ways of weeding out the sinners and exposing them.

"Now, Cheryl," her mother dabbed her lips with a napkin, careful not to smudge her makeup, "I expect you to involve yourself in an extracurricular this year. I won't have you sitting at home all afternoon like you did last during your sophomore year."

"Like what, Mommy?" she picked her head up, wiping her bare pink lips of crumbs. 

"I don't care, anything. Just as long as you don't go out for that little tramp's cheerleading squad," Penelope's voice dripped with venom at the mention of Toni Topaz, making her choke a bit on her orange juice. Cheryl never understood why her parents hated Toni so much. They had no knowledge of her hardships at school and how Toni was the leader of the pack of bullies that tormented her daily. So whatever their damage was, it had to have something to do with Toni's family. But Cheryl knew nothing of the tan-skinned cheerleader's life.

"I'll see what's available," the youngest Blossom nodded, and got up to kiss both their cheeks, "Have a good day." She had said that phrase every school day for the past four years before she left for school. She didn't really even mean it, it was just habit. Everything was habit, everything was routine. It was like she was on autopilot sometimes. With a sigh, she pulled a ratty baseball cap onto her head, stopping in the foyer to smile nervously at a photo of her dear departed twin brother Jason, wearing that exact baseball cap in the photo. "Wish me luck, Jay Jay." She kissed her fingertips and placed them on the glass of the frame over the nine year old boy's face, lingering a bit nervously before fishing for the keys to her red 1967 Chevy Impala.

**xxx**

"Hey!" Betty called out, her signature blonde ponytail bouncing as she jumped to get Cheryl's attention from down the hall.

"Hey, Betts," the redhead picked up the pace and met up to hug her, happy to finally see a friendly face. If the rest of the kids in this school weren't teasing her, they were ignoring her entirely. "How was AP English?"

"It's gonna be a cake walk," the blonde waved her hand, opening her locker to place her text book inside. Thankfully it was lunch hour and they had an hour to relax before their next class. "What about you? I hear Mr. Livingston's art history class is tough."

"He's strict, but I don't think it should be too bad," she shrugged, shifting her glasses up the bridge of her nose before her focus had completely shifted on the sight coming from down the hall behind her best friend. 

Toni Topaz, the most popular girl in school was walking down the hall, a thin flannel shirt tied around her waist over her baggy blue jeans while a long sleeved black cut off shirt exposed her midriff and belly button ring. She seemed to walk in slow motion as everything around her faded into a cloudy haze in Cheryl's vision. Her caramel skin looked so delectable and the redhead could feel her fingers twitching with the need to touch it. 

"Cheryl, what's wrong?" Betty waved a hand in front of her face, breaking her from her trance. 

"Sorry, I-" she started, but was cut off when Sawyer Peabody (known to the student body as Sweet Pea, the beefed up jock) snatched the baseball cap from her head. 

"Stare much?" he smirked, dangling the cap in front of her. Panic and fear filled Cheryl's eyes as she tried to grab the hat back. That was Jason's _favorite_ hat.

"Please give it back," she mumbled, her cheeks flaming red as people started to laugh at her expense. Her dark brown eyes darted back and forth between him and Toni, who was standing beside him with a smug grin on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. 

"You know what, I think I'll keep it," the tall boy placed the cap on his own head, chuckling and high fiving some of his friends as tears brimmed in Cheryl's eyes. "Consider it payback for your daddy causing my dad's business to tank."

Cheryl wanted to fight back, but she was so tired of defending her father. She knew he wasn't a good man, but it had nothing to do with her. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose again and tried to look strong and confident, but her eyes followed the hat as Sweet Pea removed it from his head and threw it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before sliding it across the floor to in front of Toni's feet. Cheryl dove for it quickly, kneeling in front of the cheerleader to grab it.

"Maybe take a picture next time, it'll last longer," the brunette flipped her hair over her shoulder and lead the pack of jocks and cheerleaders behind her to continue down the hall, leaving Cheryl gripping the hat tightly while Betty stood back and waited until everyone had passed. 

"Are you okay?" she sighed, helping her brush the dirt from Jason's baseball cap. 

"Some things just don't change, I guess." After getting the hat dusted off, she placed it carefully into her backpack, not wanting to risk losing it again. 

"Forget about those guys, they're all jerks. Come on, let's go get lunch," Betty linked their arms together, leading her down to the cafeteria.

**xxx**

As much of an overachiever as she was, Cheryl loved study hall. She was usually ahead of schedule in all her classes, so study hall was where she had the chance to just listen to her Walkman and draw or write from her spot in the back of the classroom. And she had just purchased a new Cranberries cassette, and she was eager to listen to it. She had a bit of work to do, since it was the first day of school, but the sooner she got it done, the sooner she could just chill.

She was placing her padded headphones over her ears when Toni Topaz walked through the door, occupying the last available desk, just diagonally to the left of her. Cheryl's cheeks heated up in a blush when the brunette made eye contact with her for the second time today, flashing her signature smirk in her direction before sitting in her seat, giving Cheryl a perfect view of her bare lower back. The redhead's fingers twitched with need again. She just wanted to touch...

"Got a pencil, Blossom?" the cheerleader turned back to face her, crossing one leg over the other under the rickety metal desk. 

Cheryl just nodded, reaching into her pencil case for a finely sharpened pencil, handing it over to her with a nervous smile, though the brunette just snatched it without so much as a 'thank you'. Cheryl didn't know what it was about Toni, but it was impossible to hate her. She'd spent the last four years being tormented by the girl, and yet she craved her attention, whether it be positive or negative. And it was almost always negative. Neutral at best, like now, with her so nonchalantly asking for a pencil as if she and her friends hadn't made her cry earlier today. 

But it was never positive. 

All Cheryl knew was that her thoughts were plagued by the tan brunette day and night. No one knew. She didn't want anyone to know. She was tormented enough, how were people going to react if they found out the pastor's daughter had a crush on a girl? A popular girl that just so happened to be her bully? No, she was fine with being perceived as a nerd for now, she didn't need to add 'freak' or 'homo' to the list of names people called her. 

Regardless, her eyes shifted back to Toni every few seconds as "Linger" played quietly in her ears. She loved the way Toni's hair flowed down past her shoulders, the slight brown curls crunchy from mousse and hairspray. She felt something inside her spark when Toni ran her slender fingers through it. She wanted those to be her fingers. Better yet, she wanted those tanned fingers running through her own hair, raking gently and scratching at her scalp before her polished nails scratched lightly down to her neck-

_*riiiiiiiiiiiiing*_

The end of day bell rang loudly, interrupting her train of thought. She glanced down at her math homework and realized that she hadn't even started. Had she really been sitting there for an hour just daydreaming? So much for getting her work done. She packed up her backpack quietly, putting her walkman back into one of the pockets when the pencil she'd given up bounced off the top of the desk.

"Thanks," Toni deadpanned as she breezed past her towards the door, sending the scent of her perfume into Cheryl's nostrils. 

"You're welcome," she muttered after Toni was too far gone to hear, sliding her glasses up again as she stood up and left the classroom, making her way to the Blue & Gold headquarters to meet up with Betty. She tried to wipe the smile from her face before the blonde got suspicious. 

"Welcome to the Blue & Gold!" Betty greeted her cheerily as she entered the classroom.

"You're _way_ too excited about this," Cheryl chuckled, setting her backpack down on a chair, placing Jason's baseball cap back on her head now that she was in a space that she knew no popular kid would ever set foot in. 

"We're gonna have fun. I'm hoping to put some life back into this paper and get people reading it again," the blonde nodded determinedly. 

"Where's everyone else?" 

"This is it. Newspaper isn't exactly cool," she rolled her eyes, going to give her a bit of a tour of all the equipment. 

This could be good. She could appease her mother's need for her to stay busy, and maybe this would help get her mind off the head cheerleader that had her in the tightest chokehold.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the response to this has been pretty great so far, i'm glad people are enjoying it!

"Are you _kidding_?" Cheryl held the bulky camera in her pale fingers, looking at Betty like she was crazy. 

"Please, Cheryl?" the blonde rushed around the empty newspaper classroom, "Archie would do it, but he can't do both story and photography."

"Can't I do the story instead?"

"Sorry, but I don't really trust Archie with an expensive camera," Betty winced a little just as the only other redhead in the school came through the door, struggling to carry his school books against his sweater vest. Betty went over to help him out, taking the books from his hands before he tripped over his own feet.

"Thanks, Betty," he looked up at her through his thick glasses. Archie and Betty had been friends pretty much since birth. They were next door neighbors, born just days apart. Cheryl only knew them both from church, and they had pretty much been her only friends since she started public school. 

With a sigh, Cheryl looked down at the camera in her hands again. It seemed easy enough, but she knew that she couldn't just take pictures from the sidelines of the homecoming game all night. She would have to get in people's way to get good photos. And Betty needed good photos for the paper. She would have to get pictures of everything. The crowd, the football players...the cheerleaders. _Toni Topaz._

"Okay guys, I know there's only three of us, but we'll just have to work extra hard until we can get some new recruits. Tonight is the homecoming game and the homecoming dance. I can do coverage on the dance, but since I'm also helping set up the gym, I need the both of you to cover the game," Betty spoke to them in the same way she always did about things she was passionate about, "Archie, keep notes on the game. Make sure to write about who's playing, the score, any potential exciting events that happen. You're my sports writer until I can find someone more...invested in athletics."

Cheryl just snorted a light laugh under her breath. She was almost positive that Archie Andrews had never even seen a football field in real life. 

"And Cheryl. Photography is crucial. Some of the Neanderthals in this school only look at the paper for the pictures. So find a way to tell the story of the game and the halftime show."

She swallowed hard at the thought. Why would Betty do this to her, knowing how much she was hated by all the popular kids? It was like she was throwing her into the lion's den. She could just imagine it now. Sweet Pea would find a way to hit her with the football, or Toni would accuse her of trying to get up-skirt pictures of her. Either way, she was almost positive that she was going to be returning a broken camera to Betty tonight.

"Just do the best you can, okay guys? Principal Weatherbee already isn't confident that we can get the paper up and running again and I'd like to prove him wrong," the blonde sighed, leaning against one of the metal desks by the chalkboard.

Cheryl glanced over at Archie who shrugged his lanky shoulders with a smile, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"I won't let you down, Betty," he smiled nervously at her. Betty was pretty much the only one in the whole town who had no idea about Archie's crush on her. No matter how many times Cheryl brought it up, she denied the possibility.

"I guess I can give it a try," she sighed, nodding in agreement, "But you've seriously gotta get some more qualified people in here."

**xxx**

_B-U-L-L_  
 _D-O-G-S_  
 _Go, Bulldogs, go!_

Cheryl had heard the chant for the tenth time and the game had only just started. Toni's voice rang the loudest of them all, distracting the redhead as she walked around with the camera. She wanted Archie to stay with her, but he insisted on sitting on the bleachers so he could see everything on the field. So Cheryl was left alone, wandering around the sidelines, trying not to stand in anyone's way. She'd gotten a few shots of kickoff, but she'd been trying to work up the courage to take some shots of the cheerleading squad for the past half hour. Every time she got the slightest bit of courage, the fear of being called a pervert by one of the girls on the squad made her put the camera back down right away. 

She stood off to the side, near the edge of the bleachers, taking some photos of the squad from there. She sighed, mentally kicking herself for not being brave. Betty was going to kill her for not getting good enough shots for the paper. But she just couldn't do this. 

"Hey!" a familiar voice sent a shiver down her spine as she glanced up to see Toni walking towards her, her wavy pigtails and short skirt bouncing with every determined step. "Are you gonna take some pictures of my squad for the paper or what? We're part of this game too."

Cheryl's jaw slacked as she tried to find words. "I-I'm trying..." she looked down and fiddled with the camera in her hands.

"Well, you're not gonna get good shots from all the way over here," Toni held her hands on her hips, letting out a laugh that Cheryl could only describe as 'buttery'. "Look, we're not gonna murder you for doing your job if that's what you're worried about. I can guarantee that if you hold a camera up, those dumb cows are gonna be cheesing hard. And maybe they'll actually try a little harder, so you'd actually be doing me a favor."

Cheryl looked back up at her, a bit of a laugh escaping her lips. A genuine laugh. Not one of fear or even nervousness, which was surprising, considering the girl who had bullied her for years was the one responsible for it. 

"I mean it. If those girls see a camera while they're cheering, they'll start acting like they're posing for the cover of Vogue," Toni let out her own laugh, looking Cheryl over as she stood nervously in front of her, shoulders a bit slumped under her grey Riverdale High crew neck. With her hair pulled back into a ponytail and no baseball cap on her head, Toni could actually see her face, looking into the deep brown orbs through her glasses. Cheryl stood uncomfortably in the silence between them after their laughter had faded, watching Toni's eyes as they drifted across her face. The brunette bit the corner of her lip as a smile threatened to show. 

"Hold the camera up to your face," Toni instructed her, making her nearly drop the boxy equipment just at the firmness in her voice, but she held it up like she said. Her shaking hands distorted the image of her through the lens. But she saw Toni's arm reach out towards her before her fingers wrapped around her own, guiding her hand to hold under the lens that Betty had put on for her. Her breath caught in her throat as gentle fingers guided her own around the camera, making the image through the lens more clear just before the cheerleader pulled back, picking her pom-poms up to pose in front of her. "Now shoot," she smirked in her pose.

The click of the camera along with the flash made Cheryl release the breath she had been holding in, bringing the camera down, a hint of a smile on her face despite her confusion. 

"Play with the focus. Shoot from different angles. It'll make your pictures look better," Toni gave her signature smirk before flicking her hair over her shoulder in the bitchy way that Cheryl had grown so used to, "I don't wanna look like shit in the newspaper just cause the photographer's an amateur." And with that, she turned on her heel and ran back to her squad without looking back.

_**"You'd actually be doing me a favor,"**_ echoed in Cheryl's head as she bravely stepped forward, using the trick Toni had shown her to snap some photos of the cheerleaders. And like Toni said, they smiled bigger, stood straighter, and cheered louder. But Toni was still the star just as she always was. 

_Let's go Bulldogs, let's go!_

Cheryl listened to the cheers as she replaced the film in the camera, already having gone through a whole roll. Glancing up from her seat at the bottom of the bleachers, she locked eyes with the light brown ones from the top of the pyramid, a blush creeping up on her cheeks once again. But she couldn't tear her gaze from Toni's. Biting her bare lip, she held the camera up again, boldly capturing the look the cheerleader was giving her.

**xxx**

"How was the dance, dear?" Penelope greeted Cheryl as she came through the front door.

"I didn't go to the dance, Mommy, I was taking pictures at the football game for the school paper," Cheryl told her, despite having told her three times already why she would be home late tonight. 

"Oh, right," Penelope waved a hand, refilling her wine glass before going to sit in the living room, "How was that?"

"It was all right. The Bulldogs won," the younger Blossom shrugged, going to get something to eat from the kitchen. She wouldn't have known that their football team had won had it not been for the crowd erupting from behind her while she was staring at Toni. "Where's Daddy?"

"He had some work to do," Penelope slurred, staring ahead at the fire. 

"At ten o'clock at night?" Cheryl's eyebrows raised suspiciously as she fixed herself a sandwich, noting her mother's silence as a response. With a sigh, she rounded the kitchen island and headed for the stairs with her plate and bottle of water. "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, Cheryl," the older redhead deadpanned.

Biting her lip, Cheryl quietly climbed the stairs to her bedroom, setting her dinner down on the nightstand before flopping back onto her bed. She stared up at the ceiling as her lips curled up into a smile as her mind replayed the past few hours. Toni being nice to her, giving her advice, the feeling of her fingers so delicately touching her own as she helped her adjust the camera lens, the stolen glances throughout the game...

Cheryl didn't know what she was feeling, but she knew that she had never felt it before. She felt light, like a gust of wind through the window would blow her away. She couldn't think clearly. The only thought that came in clear was the vision of Toni's smile and the way her lips parted to reveal a neat row of perfect white teeth. 

Sitting up, she sighed almost dreamily and bit into her sandwich. She wished she could see the photos she took tonight. It would at least give her a chance to look into Toni's brown eyes again before the end of the night. After finishing her sandwich, she reached for the sketchbook she kept under her mattress and opened it to a free page, immediately putting her pencil to work as she sketched out the image while it was still fresh in her memory. 

She took her time on the details that she had only just noticed, now that she'd been given the time to look at Toni up close. She had waves in her brown hair that were slightly tinted with blonde highlights. She had dimples on her cheeks when she smiled, and a small birthmark on the side of her left eye. 

Her heartbeat picked up speed as she drew out the curve of Toni's lips that were always perfectly colored with dark lipstick. The kind of lipstick that, if her father saw it on her, would have her locked in a closet with nothing but a candle and a bible to keep her company for hours. But no one needed to know that the only way she wanted to wear that dark lipstick was if it was smeared off of Toni's lips and onto her own after a deep kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as per usual here, there's a lil trigger warning for slurs and bullying in this chapter. also as always, i'd like to thank my main queen @whatmarianaa on twitter (go follow!!) for always hyping me up and motivating me <333

"Let us bow our heads in prayer for those who stray from the path of righteousness," Clifford Blossom directed the room full of people with his words as he stood at the front of the chapel. Cheryl rolled her eyes a little, hoping no one noticed. But her father was the _last_ person who should be high and mighty about staying on the 'path of righteousness'. She loved her father. She had to, right? But she knew that he wasn't the man all these people thought he was. Some of them _worshiped_ him, but he was a liar and a cheater, using this role as church pastor to cover his own ass in times of crisis. 

Nevertheless, she bowed her head, closing her eyes and folding her hands in her lap. She tried to pray, to ask for the courage to deal with her problems. But instead, her mind just kept drifting back to the dream she had the night before. She was almost afraid to think too hard about it, knowing how she managed to get lost in her daydreams so easily. But she couldn't get over how vivid the dream was. Toni's arms were warm around her and her lips were so soft against hers. She had woken up this morning feeling like she had received an electric shock, static rolling through her veins. She wanted to spend forever in that dream, but no, she had to come here to this torture chamber that people found such comfort in.

"Are you going to be joining your father and I for brunch?" Penelope got up from their first row pew, removing her silk gloves to place into her handbag. 

"No thank you, Mommy. I have some homework to catch up on with Betty," the younger redhead smiled through her lie, standing up and smoothing out the wrinkles in the skirt of her dark floral dress. 

"Well, I expect you to be home for dinner at six sharp. Your grandmother is coming to visit," Penelope huffed. She wasn't the biggest fan of Cheryl's Nana Rose, but Cheryl adored her. Aside from Jason, she was the only family member that treated her like a human being and loved her for who she was. 

"I'll be there," she kissed her mother's cheek and made a beeline for Betty and Archie a few rows behind them.

"Hey, do you guys wanna go to Pop's? I'm starving," she whispered. 

"I've gotta help my dad paint the garage," Archie shook his head, "Sorry."

"I'll go. Anything to avoid my parents," Betty sighed.

Cheryl frowned and reached out for her arm, "Are they fighting again?" 

"Are they ever _not_?" she scoffed with a light chuckle, "Come on, I could use a milkshake to take my mind off it. See you later, Arch."

"See you at school," the boy waved, adjusting his bowtie as the girls walked up the aisle towards the exit.

**xxx**

"How did Friday night go?" Betty asked, plucking the cherry from the top of her vanilla milkshake and placing it on top of Cheryl's strawberry one.

"It was okay," the redhead shrugged, sipping at her shake, "I went through a roll and a half of film."

Betty choked on the sip she was in the middle of, "Jeez, Cheryl, how many pictures do you think we need? The newspaper is only four pages long."

"You never gave me a limit, you just said take pictures," she chuckled.

"I didn't think I'd have to give you one. I assumed you would take a few and then go home," the blonde wiped her mouth off and looked across the table at her, "Did you actually get some good ones?"

"I think so." 

"Like you actually got out in the middle of everything?"

"Mmhm."

"No offense, but I didn't think you had it in you," Betty's eyebrows raised to her hairline as she picked at her fries, "So what gave you the boost in bravery?"

A blush came over Cheryl's cheeks as she remembered how Toni had sought her out and given her some pointers. Betty would never believe that Toni Topaz ever did something nice for her. "Well, I-"

The bells above the door jingled, distracting her as a group of teens walked in, the head cheerleader that had been running through Cheryl's mind all weekend leading the pack as always. Cheryl's eyes followed the brunette, her palms becoming clammy at just the sight of her as her jaw slacked a little.

"Cheryl?" Betty asked before turning her head to see what had distracted her so much, "Oh. We can leave if you want."

"No, it's okay," she shook her head, bringing her attention back to her best friend, but only briefly as her gaze drifted back to the cheerleader who was headed in their direction, claiming the only available booth right behind Betty. 

"Just ignore them," the blonde shook her head, sipping her milkshake again.

"Right," she sighed, wiping her palms on the skirt of her dress. She was starting to wish she hadn't worn such a thick cardigan. "So how was the dance?" 

Betty scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Nothing eventful happened. Teenagers danced, made out in the bathrooms, and tried to spike the punch. Totally stereotypical high school dance stuff."

Cheryl tried her hardest to listen. She was genuinely curious about how the dance went, but she could feel someone staring at her. Someone that she wanted so badly to stare back at. She tried to subtly shift her gaze from her blonde best friend to the pair of piercing brown eyes just a few feet behind her. Toni's eyes were unmoving as they looked in her direction, a smirk on her lips as she sipped at her soda. The redhead bit her lip gently, trying to prevent her own smile from spreading across her face. Though, she could do nothing about the pink flush that worked its way onto her cheeks. Toni Topaz had a power over her that made her want to lose control sometimes. But of course, she couldn't let anyone know that. And she definitely couldn't show it in public. 

"Cheryl, are you feeling okay?" Betty's blue eyes filled with concern, "You're all flushed."

"What?" she broke from her trance, her eyes wide behind her glasses, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just...don't like this song, I'm gonna go change the music." She reached for her coin purse and got up out of the booth, heading straight for the jukebox. Maybe now she'd have a chance to gather her thoughts and catch her breath. Why was Toni doing this to her?Did she know about her crush? Was she just messing with her? What was she trying to achieve, besides making Cheryl's life a living hell? Her thoughts raced as she fiddled with the buttons on the vintage machine, trying to distract herself.

"Nice dress. Did you raid your grandma's closet?" a voice came from behind her. That voice that made her weak in the knees but sent a terrified chill down her spine at the same time. 

"I-it _was_ my grandma's, actually," Cheryl ran a hand over her forearm, rubbing the thick fabric against her skin as she tried to focus on her song selection. But the smell of her perfume was so distracting that she found herself just skimming through the pages of songs, tapping the 'next' button faster than she could read the titles. 

"Wow, and I was just kidding," Toni scoffed, leaning against the jukebox, folding her arms over her dark purple cropped tank top. Cheryl tried her hardest not to look over at the exposed skin between the hem of her shirt and the belt loops of her high-waisted jeans, but the little glimmer from her belly button piercing was just too tempting. "So how come you're over here instead of spending time with your date?" Toni smirked, pulling Cheryl's eyes up to hers like a magnetic force. 

"It's not a date, Betty's my best friend," she muttered quietly, looking back at the song pages. 

"Oh. I just figured since you guys spend so much time together..." she trailed off, twirling a strand of brown hair between her fingers, "Not to mention you were blushing like a love struck little girl while she was talking." 

Cheryl bit her lip and looked back over at her. That smirk told her that Toni knew she wasn't blushing over Betty. She was messing with her, and she felt frozen in place. Just the thought of Toni noticing her blushing was causing her hands to get clammy all over again. "I-"

"Oh my god, you _do_ like her don't you?" Toni's eyes widened along with her smile, "You dirty little lesbo, I can't believe Pastor Blossom's _perfect_ little girl is a dyke."

Cheryl stiffened, her body starting to tremble with fear. Was Toni being serious? Was she just playing with her to make her uncomfortable? Whatever it was, Cheryl found herself frozen in place, too afraid to move. Even her fingers paused over the button she'd been pressing down on so incessantly. "Betty's just my friend," she whispered, trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. 

"But you _do_ like girls, right?" Toni grinned slyly at her, shifting her body more towards her in a way that made the redhead uncomfortable while simultaneously wanting her closer. "Were you really taking pictures for the paper on Friday? Or were you just trying to get some material to flick the bean to? Oh my god, did you save pictures of me from that night?" the brunette's eyes narrowed suspiciously, while that same devilish grin on her face.

"W-what?" her face was probably as red as her hair at this point. 

"You did, didn't you? Admit it, Blossom, you _totally_ fantasize about me. You get wet at the very thought of me," Toni smirked grabbing onto her wrist to place her hand on the bare skin of her side, making Cheryl gasp and pull her hand back. 

"N-no I don't," she stammered, her eyes looking at anything but the cheerleader in front of her. She glanced up at Toni's face, frowning at that _**damn**_ smirk before tearing herself away. "Just leave me alone," she whispered through tears and ran off to the bathroom, trying not to make a scene.

Toni hung back by the jukebox, her smirk fading only slightly before she laughed, pushing herself off the machine and sauntering back over to her table. Betty, who was getting up to run after Cheryl, shot her a look that told her that whatever she did this time, she went too far. She never thought she would see the day that a girl like Betty Cooper made her second guess her life choices. But she brushed the feeling of regret down and joined her friends in their booth again.

Meanwhile, Betty was making her way into the girls bathroom, looking under the stall doors for Cheryl's black kitten heels and nylons. "Cheryl? What's wrong?" she winced at herself. That was a stupid question. Toni Topaz was the problem. She knew that. "What did she say to you?"

Cheryl couldn't hear her. She felt like she was underwater as she rocked back and forth, arms wrapped around herself tightly. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to keep her crying as silent as possible. Why was Toni so cruel to her? How did she have such a tight hold on her that she couldn't see that Toni would never be nice to her? She would never like her. She was a popular cheerleader and Cheryl was a social outcast. What was the point of this stupid crush? She wished she could just switch it off like a lamp. Toni was stringing her along like a yoyo, sending her away before reeling her back in over and over again.

What if she was serious? What if Toni could really see right through her? What if she told everyone? Her head was spinning at the possibility, she felt like she was going to faint.

"Cheryl, come on, let's just go back to my house," she heard Betty trying to coax her out of the stall. 

"Please leave me alone," her voice cracked with tears as she wiped at her bare cheeks with trembling hands. 

"I'm not letting you sit in here all day, Cheryl. Come on, we can go to Blockbuster and take your mind off everything," Betty sighed, leaning against the stall door, "But you have to come out."

_"You have to come out,"_ made Cheryl's breath hitch in her throat, a jolt of nervousness shooting through her body again.

"Cheryl please just come out of the stall."

She sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. How was she supposed to show her face back out there? What if Toni was waiting for her? What if she told all her friends about what they talked about? She was sick of Toni always having control over her. She barely knew her, and yet sometimes it seemed like she controlled her life more than her own parents. She was tired of it, and she wanted it to stop. 

Putting on a brave face, she stood up from her seat on the toilet, unlocking the stall and opening the door to Betty's sympathetic smile. "Thanks, Betts."

Betty just smiled and ran a hand over her arm, pulling her in for a hug. "Come on, let's go rent Forrest Gump and eat our weight in Jiffy Pop. I already paid the bill."

Cheryl managed the slightest of laughs and let her best friend lead her to the door. She stiffened as they re-entered the main room of the diner, but she kept her eyes on the floor, flinching when she was pelted with a balled up napkin. 

"Later, freaks," Sweet Pea called out while the rest of their table laughed. 

With one last minute act of courage, or perhaps it was weakness, Cheryl turned her head to face Toni. The cheerleader's laughter quickly fading when she saw the pain in her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> penelope is a bitch but wbk

As if Cheryl hadn't been tormented enough in the past two weeks since school started, her class schedule had been changed around so she had gym class right before lunch. On the one hand, she liked that she could work up an appetite and then eat right after. But on the other hand, a _certain_ cheerleader also had gym that period. Not only did that mean being mocked for not scoring a goal during soccer and being purposefully hit with volleyballs, but it also meant having to share a locker room with her. And Toni had absolutely no shame.

"Seriously, I think they got bigger," the tanned girl groped at her own breasts through her lacy pink bra, "Do they look bigger to you?"

"You _wish_ , Toni," Veronica rolled her eyes with a scoff, slipping her plaid mini skirt up her legs as the head cheerleader continued to prance around in nothing but her matching bra and underwear. 

"Jealousy is a disease, Ronnie," Toni blew her a sarcastic kiss before going back to checking herself out in the mirror attached to the inside of her locker door. She had her back turned to Cheryl, who was trying her hardest not to stare from around the corner. 

The redhead buttoned up her blouse, her eyes uncontrollably trailing from Toni's strong shoulders and down her back before landing on her ample backside. It wasn't fair. The brunette didn't have a single physical flaw. Her body was a slim hourglass, curving perfectly in the middle before rounding out at her hips. Pink was definitely her color. Cheryl admired the way the pale pink lace looked against her smooth, caramel skin, her fingers starting to twitch again. 

Toni was touching up her makeup in the mirror when she caught Cheryl's subtle gaze in the reflection, making the redhead cast her eyes down to her task at buttoning up her blouse when she realized she'd been caught. She hoped and _prayed_ that Toni wouldn't call her out, but as usual, she didn't get what she wanted. And she could tell that she was in for it when she heard Toni's locker door slam shut. 

"Enjoying the view, Blossom?" the brunette turned around, a smile on her face as she approached her slowly. Cheryl's heartbeat picked up speed as she kept her eyes down, not wanting to give into the attention that Toni wanted. "Don't be shy, I like an audience," the head cheerleader trailed a finger down Cheryl's arm, chipped black nail polish contrasting harshly against her pale skin, goose bumps rising quickly. Cheryl tried her best to ignore her, swallowing the lump in her throat as she kept to herself, but that just seemed to egg Toni on more. "You can touch them if you want. Everyone else has," she smirked, pushing her chest out towards her when Cheryl ignored her. "Go on, touch them. You know you want to."

Cheryl glanced up and around. No one was really looking at them, but she wasn't stupid. Toni was just trying to mess with her again like she always did. "Come on, no one's watching," Toni whispered, leaning in closer to her, making Cheryl's vision go fuzzy for a moment. But she continued to try her hardest to ignore her. "Touch them and I'll leave you alone," she whispered again, her spicy cinnamon breath close enough to graze Cheryl's flushed cheek. 

Feeling her strength start to diminish, Cheryl glanced up at her, eyes darting back and forth between Toni's eyes and her breasts. God, she wanted to touch them...And maybe she was dumb enough to believe that Toni would actually leave her alone if she did as she said. There was only one way to find out. Making sure no one was looking, she raised her trembling hand and just barely brushed the pads of her fingers against the soft skin of Toni's chest. It was brief, and it was all she wanted, but before she could even bat an eye, Toni grabbed both her wrists and forced her hands harder onto her chest, letting out a fake scream of surprise before pushing her away. 

"Oh my god, what is _wrong_ with you?!" the cheerleader asked harshly, pulling away and covering her chest with her arms as if she was suddenly shy and modest. "Did you all see that?" she turned to the rest of the girls in the room, getting their full attention as Cheryl glanced around panicked. "Cheryl Blossom just _assaulted_ me! She totally just grabbed my boobs!"

The girls around them all laughed as Cheryl's eyes filled with tears, still glancing around in panic. No one would believe her if she tried to deny it. 

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not comfortable having a _**lesbian**_ in here with us while we're all getting changed," Toni put on her little show, putting on her evil smirk as girls started throwing their towels at Cheryl, chanting for her to leave the locker room. 

Tears flowed down her flushed cheeks as she gathered her things, rushing out of the locker room without looking back. She never thought she would miss being homeschooled.

**xxx**

"I just don't understand," Penelope ushered her forcefully into the house by her arm, "If there were no reason to suspect it, why would those girls ever say such a _vile_ thing?"

"They're just mean girls, Mommy! Starting stupid rumors so they can feel better about themselves," tears continued to roll Cheryl's pink face. Her mother had come to pick her up from school after what had happened in the locker room. She didn't want to go to the rest of her classes. She just wanted to be comforted by her mother. But unfortunately, that meant explaining to the woman in the front office why she insisted on being picked up. And of course, that woman explained the situation to her mother when she had arrived. 

"Did you touch her, Cheryl?" Penelope stared her down, "I want the truth."

"She made me! She grabbed my hands and forced me to," Cheryl practically sobbed in front of her mother, holding her arms around herself for comfort. It was partially the truth. But Penelope didn't need to know anything about how Cheryl's fingers were still tingling from the feeling of Toni's skin under her touch. 

"A dirty little slut, that Topaz girl. Trash! That whole family is and always _has_ been trash," the older Blossom huffed, stomping to the kitchen with Cheryl in tow. She turned on the sink and Cheryl began to panic, knowing what was coming. 

"No, Mommy, _please_ ," she pleaded, but Penelope was already holding her hands under the hot water that was only getting hotter, "Please stop, it hurts!" Penelope just held her wrists tighter, holding her still as her pale fingers started to turn red from the heat. "Stop, Mommy, please stop! I'm sorry!" she cried, nearly screaming out from the pain in her hands. Just when she was thinking she would rather be homeschooled again, her mother reminded her of one of the many reasons she didn't miss it. 

"Get your bible and go to the closet," Penelope finally let her hands go, watching without remorse as her daughter clutched them tightly against herself, crying from the burning pain, "Now!"

"I didn't touch her, Mommy, I didn't," she wept, pleading with her mother for mercy. Why couldn't her mother have been like Alice Cooper? Whenever Betty didn't feel well or just was unhappy, Alice practically smothered Betty with love. And the blonde never appreciated it. Cheryl wanted so badly to trade lives with her. 

"Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, if I have to repeat myself, your father will punish you further when he gets home," she snapped, extending an arm with a pointed finger towards the hall closet. 

Cheryl just stood, seeing the rage and shame in her mother's eyes before sniffling, going to do as she said. She grabbed her personalized bible from the coffee table and made her way to the hall closet, Penelope staying a step behind her the whole way. Still sniffling, she entered the small closet, striking a match to light the half melted candle that sat on the shelf of Jesus figurines and crosses. 

"Two hours, Cheryl. Leviticus 20:13," Penelope spat, slamming and locking the door, leaving her daughter alone in the dimly lit closet.

_"If man lies with man as one does with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They are to be put to death, their blood shall be upon them,"_ Cheryl read the words to herself, tears rapidly falling onto the tissue thin pages.

**xxx**

To say that Cheryl was afraid to go to school the next day was a vast understatement. After dinner and being released from the prayer closet, Betty had phoned the Blossom household, leaving Cheryl tethered to the kitchen wall by the curly cord as she listened to her best friend gossip about what had happened at school after she had been picked up. Apparently while the blonde was delivering some copies of the newspaper to the office, she overheard Principal Weatherbee telling Toni that she was being kicked off the Vixens as punishment for bullying. And Toni had spent the rest of the school day on an absolute warpath.

"Mommy, can I please stay home today?" Cheryl lingered in the doorway of her parents' bedroom, still in her pajamas from last night.

"Absolutely not. It was bad enough that you showed such _weakness_ by asking to leave school yesterday. You're a Blossom, not a coward," Penelope practically spat at her, "Go get dressed and have breakfast. I have to drop you off early before my meeting with Mayor McCoy."

The young redhead's eyes brimmed with tears before she nodded and padded back to her own bedroom, dressing in a plain T-shirt and jeans, hoping it made her invisible, and topping her outfit off with Jason's baseball cap once again. She knew it wasn't a good idea, considering she was probably more of a walking target than she ever had been now that she had snitched on Toni. But it was all she had that made her feel like her beloved brother was by her side. And she really needed him today. 

Considering her car was still in the campus parking lot, Penelope drove Cheryl to school after breakfast, dropping her off earlier than necessary without a goodbye, or even a wave. As soon as the passenger side door was closed, the woman sped off, leaving light tire tracks on the pavement. Seven hours of school. She could do this. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she thought. 

Who was the kidding? She was a dead girl walking.

She roamed the empty halls, remembering that she had to drop off film for the newspaper in the dark room. Usually Mr. Clemmons was good at getting film developed quickly, and she should have the photos back by the end of the day to give to Betty. 

After picking up the film from her locker, she quietly made her way to the photography lab, her sneakers squeaking a bit against the waxed floor. She turned the knob and let herself into the small classroom, making sure to turn the light off before reaching for the door that lead to the smaller room that housed all the photo developing equipment. Cheryl knew nothing of it, so she planned on just dropping the envelope of negatives off with a note for Mr. Clemmons. 

"Stalk much?" _**that**_ voice made her nearly jump out of her skin not even two seconds after she had the door closed behind her.

"I-I-" the redhead stammered, frozen in front of the closed door. 

"Take a chill pill, Blossom. I'm not gonna murder you. Though this lighting would be appropriate for such an occasion," Toni smirked, referring to the dim red light of the room. 

"I-I just came to drop off film for the paper," she muttered, keeping her eyes down. Despite what Toni said, she was positive that her blood was going to be smeared across these floors within a matter of minutes. 

"It's a free country, do what you want," the brunette mumbled, not even looking up from what she was doing, peeling photo paper out of the tubs of liquid on the tables, hanging them up delicately on the line draped along the wall. Cheryl had never heard her voice so gentle and calm before. It piqued her curiosity as she shakily wrote out the note for Mr. Clemmons, peering out the corner of her eye to watch her. She seemed so focused, so serene with what she was doing. She couldn't see the photos she was hanging up from so far away in the poorly lit room, but she wanted to see them and ask what they were for. And why was she here so early before school developing them?

"Um...I heard you got taken off the cheer squad...I'm sorry," she was bold in choosing to speak, but her voice was timid, "I didn't mean for-"

" _You're_ apologizing to _me_?" Toni glanced over with a perfectly arched eyebrow and a scoff, "You're a freak, Blossom." Cheryl pressed her lips into a straight line. No matter what she did or said, she was always a freak. "What I mean is...what kind of person would apologize to someone who hurt them?"

"What?" the redhead knit her eyebrows together.

"Look, what I did was shitty. I took it too far. So...I'm sorry, okay? And if losing the Vixens is my punishment for what I did, then...whatever. Cheerleading was getting old anyways," she shook her head, taking another photo from the tub and hanging it up. 

"Uh...thanks, I guess," she mumbled, tucking hair behind her ear from under her cap, "I appreciate your apology." Toni was quiet, just nodding in response, hanging up the last photo. The faint trickling noise of moisture dripping from the photos was the only thing they could hear. The silence in the room wrapped around Cheryl like a blanket, giving her a surprising amount of comfort as she stood awkwardly by the door. "C-can I ask you something?" she asked, breaking the silence. Toni just turned to her, starting to clean up and quirking an eyebrow at her to let her know she was listening. "Why do you always pick on me?" She was almost afraid to hear the answer, but she was feeling surprisingly brave now that she was more confident in the fact that Toni didn't want to kill her for what happened. 

"I dunno, that's just...how it is. This is high school. It's a hierarchy. It's the same at every school, even on TV and in movies...it's just how things are. It's how they've always been. I don't make the rules of life, Blossom," the brunette shrugged, leaning against the table and folding her arms over her chest. She picked idly at the fabric pills on the sleeves of her green flannel. Cheryl had never seen her like this. She seemed so vulnerable. 

"Why _me_ , though? I've never done anything to you. Why am I always your target?" she took a few slow but bold steps towards her.

Toni tensed up, almost shying away from her as she looked anywhere in the room but at the girl in front of her. "It just...makes it easier," she muttered. And Cheryl was surprised to see her eyes shimmering with forming tears. She felt a tug on her heartstrings, stepping closer until they were only a mere two feet apart. Why did she want to comfort the girl that gave her nothing but hell for the past four years?

"What does that mean?" she whispered, pushing her glasses up her nose as her heartbeat thumped in her ears. She searched Toni's face for answers, despite the brunette glancing around the quiet room for a distraction. She took one more baby step, getting close enough to smell the perfume radiating off of the former cheerleader. Toni's misty eyes finally met hers, her maroon tinted lips parting to speak before the door opened from behind Cheryl.

"Oh, sorry girls. Didn't know anyone was in here," Mr. Clemmons entered the dark room as Cheryl stepped back, suddenly uncomfortably aware of her close proximity with Toni. 

"It's okay, Mr. Clemmons, we were just leaving," the tanned girl smiled at the teacher, flicking her long hair over her shoulder as she grabbed her backpack. 

"Don't forget to pick up your photos at some point today, Toni. I've got a whole class's photos to develop today," Cheryl watched the teacher give Toni a knowing glance, as if she was notorious for leaving her photos in here.

"I'll pick them up at lunch," she sighed, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, "Thanks Mr. C."

Cheryl looked between the two before following the older girl out of the dark room, being taken by surprised when Toni stepped in front of her to stop her in her tracks in the middle of the barely lit photography lab.

"You better not tell anyone about this," the brunette gave her that infamous smirk, holding tightly to her backpack strap, "I know you're the last person I should be asking favors from. And I may not be head cheerleader anymore, but I've still got a reputation to protect. I don't want anyone knowing I'm a photography nerd."

"I won't tell," Cheryl shook her head, a bit of a smile forming on her face as a blush came over her cheeks, "I promise."

Toni gently bit down on her lip as she glanced the redhead up and down with a smile, holding out a hand with an extended pinky, wanting to make the promise official. Cheryl was surprised to see something so juvenile from Toni, but she just smiled and linked a pale pinky with hers, relishing the feeling of this little moment. She'd probably never get another like it. Toni just gave her a close-lipped smile after they dropped their hands, her Doc Martens taking her backwards towards the classroom door before she turned around, sauntering out without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> toni is actually soft af but WBK!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clifford's also a bitch but you know what? we been knew. slight smut warning!!

Cheryl Blossom loved mysteries. She loved the suspense of a good mystery novel and loved to challenge herself to figure out the ending before she finished reading. She loved puzzles and putting things together, learning about how things worked and why they worked that way. She was a naturally curious girl and always had been. It was rare that a challenge or situation left her stumped. But the past few weeks have left her more confused than ever as she tried to solve the toughest mystery she'd ever encountered: Toni Topaz. 

Though sometimes she wanted to, she didn't need to know the details. She didn't need to know what traumatic event in Toni's childhood left her with a need to make everyone around her miserable. She just wanted to know why the brunette always seemed to target her specifically. Even more so, Cheryl wanted to know why she could never seem to let Toni go. Why did she continue to daydream about her in class and draw her face from memory when she sat alone in her room at night? Why, despite all the horrible things Toni had said and done to her, did she cling to those rare occasions when the former cheerleader was kind to her? She replayed them in her head frequently and found her heart beating faster every time. 

She could see her breath in front of her as she jogged along the track around the football field. It was raining, so the cheerleaders and football team had both moved their after school practice into the gym for the afternoon, so Cheryl had the whole field to herself. She liked it that way. Just her and her thoughts. No music and no one to distract her. The crisp mid-October air bit at her flushed cheeks as she kept her breathing steady. She loved jogging. Sometimes she would take off in a full-on sprint, pretending that she was running away from home to a place where she could be herself for once. 

She could feel her sweat suit starting to stick to her skin under her Colorblock windbreaker. She'd been on the track for almost two hours now just deep in thought as she ran around in circles. She was due home for dinner soon, and she knew her parents wouldn't approve of her sitting at the dining room table looking the way she did now. Wiping off her glasses, she came to a stop and checked her pulse, catching her breath before heading back into the school. Vixens practice should have been over by now, so she looked forward to having the locker room to herself for a hot shower.

It was quiet, and the gym was empty. The cheerleaders must have all left, considering she couldn't hear them laughing and talking from the gym. Even if the gym was full, you could usually hear the room full of girls in the locker room next door. Removing her hair from her grey scrunchie, she ran her fingernails against her damp scalp as her Skechers squeaked on the waxed gymnasium floor. She couldn't wait to get cleaned up and changed. She felt so gross. 

She opened the door to the locker room and sighed, going straight for hers. She bit the inside of her cheek at the word "dyke" written in faded black ink on the metal door of locker number 124. The janitor was still working on getting the ink completely removed after last week, but that didn't stop the whispers and rumors that surrounded her daily. With a sigh, she shed her windbreaker and hung it up to dry a little before grabbing her towel and bar of soap. She was going to shut her locker door when she heard a faint noise. It sounded like someone was hurt or crying. Who else was still here and why were they crying in the showers? 

Concerned, Cheryl tip toed towards the showers, her brow furrowing in confusion as the noise got louder and more frequent the closer she got. She peeked around the corner wall just in case whoever was in the next room didn't want to be seen, but she nearly dropped her soap bar to the floor at what she saw. Toni had Veronica Lodge pinned against the wall of one of the shower cubicles, her brown hair wavy and wet against her bare back as she had her face pressed into the head Vixen's neck. Cheryl couldn't tear her eyes away as much as she wanted to. Her eyes were glued to the two girls, wet bodies pressed together as Veronica practically whined out in pleasure. That was the noise Cheryl had heard, but the raven haired girl definitely wasn't crying or in pain. 

Biting her lip, she stayed hidden behind the corner as she watched Toni's tanned fingers run along the expanse of Veronica's olive skin, trying to imagine what those fingers would feel like on her own body. A tingle ran down her spine as she started to feel something she'd never felt before, unable to put a word to it. It didn't feel bad, it didn't feel good. She just felt anxious, like a knot was being tied tightly in the pit of her stomach and she was desperate to get the knot undone, but had no idea how. Her eyes glazed over as they trailed down Toni's body. Her curves were worthy of being put on display at the finest art museum in the world. Cheryl felt her jaw slack as she traced over the inward arch of the brunette's back, languidly following the curve of her bottom with her eyes. Her fingers started to twitch again.

Toni's hand was hidden between Veronica's thighs, no doubt touching her in the sacred place her mother told her was reserved for whatever man of high society chose her for marriage. The place that sometimes ached like chest pain when she thought about Toni late at night. She'd never been more jealous of Veronica Lodge until this very moment, spying on them in the girl's locker room like the deviant child her parents said she was. 

Veronica started to whimper more, her hips writhing into Toni's touch. Whatever was happening, it was intense, and Cheryl still couldn't tear her eyes away. She was far too transfixed to look elsewhere. She bit her lip hard when Veronica cried out against Toni's hand that had come up to cover her mouth, the cheerleader practically sobbing against her palm as her body shook. The redhead's vision was a bit hazy, but she watched as the two girls giggled, Veronica pushing Toni against the shower's back wall, giving Cheryl a clear view of Toni's smiling face. She looked so carefree and happy as she brushed wet hair from her face, tilting her head to the side so Veronica could attach her lips to the caramel skin of her neck.

Cheryl peeked out a little further, her lips still firmly between her teeth as she watched. She wanted to be the one who put her lips on Toni's skin. She wanted to be the one who got to touch her all over like Veronica was now. She wanted to feel whatever it was that the raven haired girl had just felt minutes ago that left her writhing and crying out in pleasure. And she wanted Toni to be the one to make her feel that way.

Her eyes were locked on the brunette's face, watching as her hair stuck to her forehead and cheeks under the hot spray of the shower. But she felt her heart drop in her chest when warm brown eyes met her own. Toni was staring right back at her. She saw her, she knew she was watching. The brunette didn't scream, or make any movements to cover herself or Veronica. She just sent her that familiar smirk from over the head cheerleader's shoulder. Cheryl was frozen in place, her jaw slacked as she stood, stunned around the corner, still staring. She couldn't look away. Especially not now that Toni's eyes had her trapped. Every time she looked into those eyes, whether Toni was right in front of her or ten feet away like she was now, she felt like a helpless little mouse, hypnotized by a slithering snake.

She watched as Toni ran her tongue across her lips, unconsciously mirroring the action. But it wasn't until the brunette winked at her so seductively and crooked a finger to beckon her over that Cheryl panicked, running back to her locker to grab her things and run out, letting her feet carry her as fast as they could to her car.

**xxx**

She didn't even remember her drive home. One minute she was making a mad dash out of the locker room, and the next she was screeching to a stop in her driveway, breathless like she had been after her jog. She didn't know whether the wetness on her face was from the rain or from the tears of embarrassment that she was sure she had shed on the drive home. She couldn't believe she had been so nosy, so stupid, so _  
**deviant.**  
_

She wiped under her eyes and sniffled, grabbing her backpack and the rest of the loose items she'd run off with from the locker room and slowly made her way inside. She was late for dinner. Her parents were going to be furious. Locking the doors, she tried to fix herself up before going to the front door, but her hair was frizzy, her clothes were baggy and wet, she was just a mess. 

"Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, where in God's name have you been?" Clifford stormed up to her the moment she walked through the door, her mother trailing not far behind him. Neither of them looked concerned for her safety or well being. "When we say dinner is at six, we expect you to be home and washed up by six!"

"I'm sorry, Daddy, I lost track of time," she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"Were you with that girl? That _harlot_ your mother said you got a bit too personal with last week?" Cheryl picked her head up, her eyes wide. She knew her mother had told him about the incident in the locker room the week before, but she didn't know that she had spun the story to her father like that. As if what had happened was her fault. Just like everyone at school, her parents didn't believe the truth about what happened. "Answer me, you deviant child," her father grabbed her arms roughly, shaking her as she cried, trying to pull away. But that made his grasp on her thin arms even tighter. He was squeezing too hard, trying to hold her still and she wanted so badly just to run away. To go back to her car and drive as far as she could. 

Cheryl looked pleadingly at her mother, wordlessly begging her to stop him from handling her so roughly. But Penelope just looked on with a blank expression, arms folded across her chest. "Mommy-" she whimpered just before her father dragged her down the hall. He snatched a random bible from the table by the hall closet, still holding tightly to Cheryl's arm as he tugged her along, practically throwing her into the closet and ignoring her loud cries. He threw the leather bound book at her, just barely missing her face when she raised her arms in defense, locking the door after slamming it shut without a word. No time limit on how long she was to stay inside, no verse that needed to be memorized. They just threw her in there like an old pair of shoes, worn out and unloved, unsure of whether she'd ever be let out again.

**xxx**

Cheryl never wore makeup. She wasn't allowed, for starters. But even if she was, she knew nothing about it. But she never really felt a need for it until today. The skin under her eyes was dark this morning and she felt like she looked like some kind of zombie. Her father had let her out of the closet at eleven o'clock last night, a good five after being thrown in. He told her to clean herself up and get to bed without a word. As much as she wanted to yell in his face and beat her fists against his chest, she did as she was told and cried herself to sleep.

She took the shower she needed so badly early this morning, leaving for school an hour earlier than usual, wanting to avoid her parents at all costs. She dressed herself in a warm sweater, trying to hide the blue and black bruises that littered her upper arms. Last time she got bruises this bad from her father, they took almost a month to completely fade. Thankfully Riverdale got cold in early fall, so she would have been wearing long sleeves today already. Her father never touched her face, thank goodness. Arm, torso, and leg bruises were easy to hide. But he knew that face bruises would cause suspicion. 

Parking her car in her usual spot, Cheryl slung her backpack over her shoulder and went into the school. She had to pick up the photos she'd taken at the school's job fair. If Mr. Clemmons had the time to develop them over the past few days, she would be able to give them to Betty during Sociology after lunch. With a sniffle, she opened the classroom door, dimming the lights before opening the door to the dark room, her body instinctively flinching in surprise when she saw Toni in the dim red lighting. 

"Well hey," the older girl smirked in her direction, hanging up some of her own photos like she had been doing the last time they ran into each other here. "Long time no see," she chuckled sarcastically and leaned her hip against the table, quirking an eyebrow in Cheryl's direction.

"I'm just here to pick up some prints for the paper," Cheryl kept her eyes down, looking around in the dimly lit room for the envelope with her name on it. She picked it up once she found it, getting ready to leave the room without a word. 

"Hang on a minute," Toni's voice shouldn't have had the power to stop her in her tracks, but it did. She was so sick of that girl's power over her, "You look beat, are you okay?" Cheryl kept her eyes to the floor, just nodding her head in response, despite the fact that she was just the opposite. "Long night?" Toni smirked, stepping closer to her, getting close enough to corner her between the wall and the door.

Cheryl didn't have the strength to talk back. She couldn't give her the sass she so desperately wanting to shoot back at her sometimes. She didn't even have the energy to answer her question normally. She just picked her head up and locked eyes with the brunette. She remembered how she felt yesterday, when she stared into Toni's eyes while she looked in on such an intimate moment. The way the former Vixen's eyes almost had the power to lure her in closer. It scared her how much power Toni had over her, how she felt like she could lose control so easily at the snap of her tanned fingers. But at the same time, she was so angry at her. Why was Toni constantly trying to make her uncomfortable, asking her questions about liking girls, acting like it was disgusting when she herself was apparently hooking up with Veronica Lodge in the locker rooms after school? She wanted to call her out on her hypocrisy, and how unfair it was, but she just wasn't brave enough. And she was so tired. 

"Did you enjoy the show yesterday?" the brunette's voice was low and quiet in the silence of the dark room. She could have whispered it from the other side of the room and Cheryl would have still heard it clearly. "Didn't know you the voyeuristic type, Blossom."

Cheryl didn't know what that meant. She was a smart girl, but around Toni she always felt so stupid for being inexperienced and naive. "I'm not," she mumbled just above a whisper, despite not knowing the meaning of the word. 

"You sure seemed to like watching yesterday," Toni grinned slyly, stepping closer to her so the tips of their shoes were touching. Cheryl could smell the cinnamon gum on her breath and she felt her chest tighten. "I bet you were up all night thinking about it. About how you wanted to take Veronica's place...or even join in...Is that why you look so tired today?"

Cheryl just pressed her lips into a straight line. For once, she wished that was the case. But she was far too busy crying herself to sleep, counting the days until her eighteenth birthday when she could finally be free. 

"A-a-are you and Veronica..." she started, trailing off as she tried to l stay strong.

Toni just laughed in a way that made Cheryl's skin crawl, but in the best way possible. "She wishes," she shook her head, "She and Reggie broke up. I was just...being a good friend." Cheryl's jaw hung limply. That's definitely not how she comforted Betty after she broke up with her camp boyfriend last summer. "Talk to me, Blossom, I don't bite. Unless you're into that," Toni said breathily, leaning in so her lips were right by Cheryl's ears. The redhead was grateful for the crimson lighting in the room. It concealed the blush that covered her face entirely. 

"I-I..." she felt herself weakening slowly as her heart picked up speed and her mouth went dry. Why did Toni always do this to her? She completely lost in the scent of cinnamon gum and Chanel perfume. 

"Tell me," Toni whispered, her lips brushing against Cheryl's heated ears.

The redhead was sure that she was finally about to give in when Toni's hand on her upper arm brought her back to reality, her gentle squeeze sending a rush of pain through her arm, making her jump back with a gasp of pain. "Uh, I-I'm sorry, I have to go," she muttered, fumbling to grab her envelope and dashing through the door faster than Toni could even react, leaving the brunette alone in the red tinted room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the reviews!!!

"Okay, so as you guys know, tonight is the first night of the fall festival over at Pickens Park," Betty stood at the front of the classroom in front of Cheryl and Archie, the three of them still the only students on the newspaper team, "There's not going to be a lot to cover for the school, but we need to be keeping our eyes out for anything that could make an interesting story. No one here is really going to care who won the pie eating contest."

"What if we compiled a ranking of all the attractions," Archie suggested, adjusting his polka-dot bow tie, "Or rated the rides?"

"That's a good idea," Betty nodded, "Cheryl, would you want to be in charge of photography again? I can do it this time if you want."

"I can cover photography," a firm feminine voice interrupted Cheryl's attempt to speak, the classroom door slamming right after as Toni Topaz sloppily dropped her backpack onto a desk. She plopped herself down in a chair and raised her dark sunglasses to the top of her head, a large bubble of pink gum expanding from her lips.

"Uh...can we help you?" Betty's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Archie and Cheryl looked on in a bit of shock.

"I'm sure that despite your lower social status around here, you've all heard about the fact that I was so cruelly exiled from the River Vixens. Weatherbee said that if I want even a chance to get back on the squad next year, I have to join another extracurricular, and it was either this or mathletes."

Cheryl bit the inside of her cheek as she watched Toni explain why she was here. She wasn't sure whether she should be excited or terrified. There was a chance that with Toni here, she would act as their shield of protection from the rest of the horrid bullies in this school. But then again, there was still the possibility that the former cheerleader would just continue her mean streak on them on her own. But considering how things went the last time they spoke, Cheryl wasn't sure she was ready for whatever Toni had to say to her today. But she hoped she had the decency to keep it just between them.

"Do you know how to use a camera?" Betty folded her arms across her pink sweater, skeptical.

"How hard can it be?" Toni mirrored her position, arms folded across her own chest as she leaned back in her chair. 

"Well, welcome to the Blue & Gold, I guess," the blonde sighed with a shrug.

"Gee, thanks so much for the warm welcome," Toni cocked her head with a fake smile. 

Betty just rolled her eyes and turned around to gather her notes. Archie turned around as well, but Cheryl stayed in place, looking back at Toni curiously through her glasses. The brunette locked eyes with her and ran pinched fingers across her smirking lips, wordlessly reminding Cheryl to keep quiet about her little hobby. 

The redhead bit her lip and subtly nodded her head before turning around as they continued their brainstorm for tonight.

**xxx**

The fall festival at Pickens Park was never the most exciting event, but it wasn't an event that anyone in Riverdale ever missed. It was almost like going to the week-long festival was a requirement in town. You weren't a true citizen of Riverdale if you didn't attend the festival at least once a year. It was set up the same way every year, so the four students from the newspaper team knew their way around easily.

"Archie and I are gonna go on the hay ride before it gets too crowded," Betty held her notebook and pen tightly to her chest as Archie looked just plain giddy beside her. Toni quirked an eyebrow at her from behind her sunglasses, letting the camera Betty had provided for her dangled against her abdomen by the strap around her neck while Cheryl stood beside her, fetching her notebook from her backpack. "Cheryl can I talk to you for a minute?" the blonde ushered her a few feet away, a reasonable distance out of hearing range from Toni.

"What is it?"

"Are you gonna be okay with Toni on the team? I wouldn't have let her join if I wasn't so desperate for more staff."

"I'll be okay, Betts, thanks," Cheryl nodded, pushing her glasses up and tucking hair behind her ear, "She hasn't been so bad this week."

"Well just say the word and she's off the team. We can still make it work with just you, me and Arch," Betty smiled, squeezing her shoulder gently before they walked back to the other two. "Okay, just cover as much as possible and we'll put something together tomorrow afternoon. Toni, just drop the film off in the photography lab for Mr. Clemmons on Monday, it's on the second fl-"

"I know where it is," the brunette interrupted her.

"Oookay. Well, let's get to it, then. We'll meet up with you guys later," Betty linked her arm through Archie's and waved before they headed for the hay ride, leaving Cheryl and Toni alone.

"I guess I'm gonna go check out the pie eating contest," the redhead mumbled after clearing her throat, taking a step backwards on the dirt path. 

"Uh, no, you're sticking with me," Toni reached out and tugged her back towards her, making her nearly trip over the hem of her jeans.

"O-okay," Cheryl nodded, following Toni around the fair as the sun started to set, giving the fair a nice orange glow. Perfect lighting for photos, according to the brunette. 

"Was there really nothing else but mathletes available for extracurriculars?" Cheryl asked, standing behind Toni as she snapped a few photos of nearby rides, "N-not that I'm complaining that you joined newspaper, I just-"

"Look, I know I give you a lot of shit. But as cute as it is, you don't have to be afraid of me, you know," Toni turned to her. Cheryl found it much easier to look at her when she had sunglasses on. "And yeah, it was really only this or mathletes. Even if I didn't totally suck at math, I figured my skills would be put to better use here."  
Cheryl nodded her head, idly doodling in her notebook as they walked around. She hadn't found anything interesting to write about just yet. She was far too distracted to even pay attention. "What got you into photography anyways?"

"What, are you writing about me or something?" the older girl snorted, "Trying to expose me? I'm surprised you haven't told Cooper to make what you saw in the locker room a front page story."

"No, just...curious...and I-I wouldn't do that."

Toni just glanced over at her through her black sunglasses, sighing to herself before lifting them onto the top of her head. "My dad got me into it. He was way into photography when I was a kid and pretty much taught me everything I know."

"He must be really good. You seem like you know everything about it," Cheryl nodded with a bit of a smile.

"He was. He, um...he died when I was ten," the brunette murmured, looking down at the camera in her hands. She was so much more comfortable with her dad's, but she didn't want to let anyone know that she actually had her own.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Cheryl looked over at her, her chest tightening a bit at that information. She wanted to tell Toni about her brother. How she had also lost her favorite person in the world around the same age. But she pushed the urge down.

"It was years ago," Toni shrugged, "No biggie."

Cheryl bit her lip. There was no way that Toni could really chalk her father's death up to 'no biggie' with a nonchalant shrug. If she even tried to say such a thing about Jason's death, it would eat her alive from the inside out. Maybe that's why Toni was the way she was, so cold and abrasive all the time, because she was still coping with the loss. It had been seven years since Jason died, and sometimes Cheryl still felt like crying, screaming, and shutting the world out over it. Toni, being as popular as she was, was probably never given a chance to properly grieve. Popular kids always made it seem like it was a requirement to have themselves so well put-together at all times.

"Toni?" a female voice broke the silence between them, "What are you doing here with... _her?_ "

"Taking pictures for the school, Veronica," Toni placed a hand on her hip, wordlessly asking the newly crowned head Vixen if that was a problem.

"One week off the Vixens and she's already caught the loser bug," Josie, one of Toni's former minions laughed, "Isn't that the dyke who assaulted you in the locker room?"

Cheryl just stood awkwardly a bit behind Toni, shuffling her feet against the dirt nervously while Toni just rolled her eyes. Apparently Veronica still had no idea that she had walked in on her and Toni, otherwise she definitely would have said something about it by now.

"That was so two weeks ago, Josie. Move on. Everyone else has."

"Well, are you still going shopping with us tomorrow afternoon?" Veronica asked after elbowing Josie in the ribs. 

"Yeah, whatever, I'll meet you at your house," the brunette nodded.

Veronica hesitated before walking away with Josie and Midge in tow behind her, leaving the pair standing in awkward silence yet again. 

"We can split up if you want," Cheryl suggested, awkwardly rubbing her forearm through her sweater, "I know being seen with me isn't exactly good for your image..."

"I don't give a shit what those catatonic bimbos think. Let's go," she reached for Cheryl's hand to tug her along towards the rows of carnival games. And the redhead had to bite back the smile that threatened to show over the fact that Toni was holding her hand.

"Step right up, win the race, win a prize!" a game attendant called out, trying to entice people to come play. 

"Come on. What better way to write about the fair than to participate?" Toni lead Cheryl by the hand to the game booth, slapping a five dollar bill onto the counter. "Two," she told the attendant, plopping herself down on a stool while Cheryl timidly sat down beside her, tucking hair behind her ear. 

After the attendant tried to get a few more people to play, he was counting down to the start of the race. The two girls aimed their water guns at their targets, holding down the trigger to get their little characters from the bottom of the wall to the top. Toni held hers as steady as she could, but couldn't compete with Cheryl, whose aim was impeccable enough to get her character to the finish line at the top of the wall in just over ten seconds, causing a bell to ring.

"And we have a winner! See how easy it is, folks?" the attendant called out to the people passing by, handing Cheryl a little stuffed koala. 

"How the hell did you do that so fast?" Toni climbed off the stool, gaping at the blushing redhead.

"I've been taking archery lessons since I was a kid," Cheryl shrugged, toying with the ears of the little stuffed animal, "Aiming for targets is kind of my specialty."

"Archery? Like with a bow and arrow and shit?" Toni's eyebrows raised as they walked in the grass, gaping even more when Cheryl nodded, "That's...pretty badass, actually."

Cheryl just giggled as a blush rose to her cheeks, holding the koala to her chest, "Pretty sure you're the first person to say that. And the last person I'd expect it from," she tucked hair behind her ear again, nervous that she had come off as rude with her last comment. "Sorry, I just meant-"

"No, I get it," Toni waved a hand at her with a shrug, stopping to take a photo, "It _is_ really cool though. You're like a female Robin Hood."

"I guess so," Cheryl ducked her head, trying to hide the flush that had taken over her face, "My mother wouldn't let me take dance or swimming or any of the things I actually wanted to do. So it was either archery or piano."

"Well, archery is way cooler than piano. I had to take piano lessons and they sucked so much," the brunette groaned at the memory.

"Are you any good at playing?" Cheryl looked over at her with a bit of a smile.

"Not even, so the years of lessons were totally worthless," Toni rolled her eyes and shook her head, making Cheryl laugh. 

The two hung out for the rest of the night. Or at least until eight-thirty so Cheryl could be home in time for her curfew. The younger girl never in a million years would have thought that she would ever have fun and spend a night laughing with Toni Topaz of all people. And she was sure that the former cheerleader felt the same way about her. 

"You think Miss lace collar and shoulder pads will approve of the pictures?" Toni asked as they walked towards the park entrance, ready to leave.

Cheryl couldn't help but chuckle at the nickname for Betty as she nodded, "At this point, I think she's desperate enough that she'd even put Polaroids in the paper." 

Toni just smirked as they approached the parking lot. Cheryl's keys jingled as she approached her car, making Toni's eyebrows raise to her hairline. " _This_ is your car?" she eyed the red vintage Impala.

"Yeah, it was my grandpa's. He left it to me in his will," Cheryl played with her keys nervously. It was left to Jason, actually, but she knew Toni didn't care about the specifics.

"Damn. All I've got is my uncle's shitty '82 Corolla," Toni eyed the car, impressed as Cheryl just stood awkwardly beside her. "Well, surprisingly, I had fun tonight," Toni shoved her gently, "You're not so bad, Blossom."

"Thanks. You too," she bit the inside of her cheek, playing with the ends of her hair, twirling them between her fingers. The slight bruising on her arms under her sweater made the shove hurt a little, but she wouldn't let Toni know that.

"Can I see your pen?" 

Cheryl looked confused, but she handed the brunette her pen anyways, curious. But she watched as Toni took her hand, dragging the pen along her palm as she held the plastic cap between her teeth. 

"There," she grinned, capping the pen off and returning it to her, letting Cheryl look at the name 'Toni' and the phone number written across her hand. 

"Next time, we're gonna rematch. But at a different game so I can win a koala of my own."

"Do you want this one?" the redhead held the small stuffed animal out to her, still a bit stunned, "I've got enough stuffed animals at home."

"Really?" Toni smiled at Cheryl's nod, gingerly taking the koala from her, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she tucked her hair behind her ear again, a shy smile playing at her lips before she checked her watch, "I should get home. I'll, um...I'll see you at school on Monday?"

"Yeah, for sure. Catch ya later, Cher," Toni winked at her before turning around, her long, wavy hair whipping behind her as she walked away, baggy jeans dragging against the concrete.

Cheryl held her keys so tightly that her knuckles turned white as she tried not to bite her lip too hard. Suddenly, she felt like she was on cloud nine. 

She called her 'Cher'. No one had called her that since Jason. Betty didn't even call her that. The little nickname floated around in Cheryl's head as she drove herself home from the fall festival, unable to wipe the smile from her face. She tried not to grip the steering wheel too hard with her left hand, not wanting to smudge the ink on her palm. Last thing she wanted was to lose Toni's phone number. She still couldn't believe how nice Toni had been to her. She even defended her in front of her friends. Were they still her friends? The way Toni spoke about them made it seem like they weren't. 

"How was the festival, pumpkin?" her father smiled warmly from behind his newspaper as she walked inside. 

"It was great," she sighed dreamily without a response from either her parents, heading straight up to her bedroom for the night. 

She flopped down on her bed, her ponytail splayed out under her head as she looked up at the ceiling, raising her hand up in front of her face. Her stomach tightened a bit at the little heart that dotted the I in 'Toni' and she ran her index finger over each individual number over and over again, wanting to commit them to memory before the night was over. But she reached under her mattress for her sketchbook, jotting it down quickly right beside the last sketch of Toni she had done, just in case.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drinking game: take a shot every time i use the word 'scrunchie'. (don't do it you'll die)

Toni was still popular, despite being kicked off the cheer squad. She still hung out with the cheerleaders and the football players, everyone that Cheryl was so wary of when she roamed the halls. Even though she and Toni were on better terms than they had been before, she still walked around school, expecting to be tormented somehow by one of the other popular kids. Whether it was cheerleaders verbally mocking her as they passed her by or scumbag jocks like Sweet Pea and Reggie tossing spit balls and crumpled up paper at her. 

She never caught a break. Even if she and Toni were...what even were they? Were they friends now? Were they still enemies? Colleagues from newspaper team? Whatever they were, Cheryl still found herself daydreaming endlessly about the brunette. Every day in study hall, she took her seat in the back corner, loaned Toni a pencil, and watched the back of her head as she did her schoolwork. Every now and then the former Vixen would snicker across the room at whatever dumb thing Sweet Pea did for attention, and the redhead couldn't help but smile to herself at the sound of her laugh. Even if the laughter was at her expense. 

Her pencil ran smoothly against her notebook as she tried to perfectly capture the curls in Toni's hair. The light brown locks were tied up halfway with a large pink scrunchie, the rest of her hair flowing down her back. The sun coming through the classroom window hit the back of her head, making the golden highlights practically sparkle. She put the finishing touches on the sketch and flipped the page to write on the back, adding to the little list she'd been making while she drew. 

_My Favorite Things About T.T._   
_1\. She's an amazing photographer_   
_2\. Her smile is captivating_   
_3\. Her hair shines in the sun_   
_4\. She's nice to me (when she wants to be)_   
_5\. She trusts me with her secrets_   
_6\. Her laugh makes me laugh_   
_7\. She defended me against her friends_   
_8\. She doesn't care what anyone thinks_   
_9\. The way her voice makes me melt_   
_10._

"Whatcha workin' on, Carrot Top?" Sweet Pea's voice broke her from her thoughts. Her pencil dragged harshly across the paper when the football player ripped it from the spiral binding of her notebook. 

Her body went into panic mode as her eyes widened, standing up from her chair, reaching for the paper, but the boy held it out of her reach. She didn't pay attention to the teacher telling them to knock it off, she didn't pay attention to the confused look on his face as he looked at the paper. She didn't even notice Toni turning around to see what was happening. She just focused on getting the piece of paper back. 

"Toni, did you know this _freak's_ been drawing pictures of you?" Sweet Pea laughed as he eyed the slightly crumpled sketch in his hands. 

Cheryl's eyes clouded with tears behind her glasses as she finally got fed up, connecting a surprisingly strong fist with the tall boy's gut. He doubled over in pain just before the rest of the class erupted in a chorus of laughter and ' _Oooh_ 's. She could barely hear any of them. Her heartbeat was thumping too loudly in her ears as she ripped up the paper and bolted from the classroom, tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she ran as fast as she could, unsure of where she was going. But she made sure to throw the ripped pieces of paper into the first trash can she could find outside of study hall.

**xxx**

She ran all the way home. What was normally a ten minute drive, was a forty minute run. And it wasn't until she reached her front door, breathless and coughing, that she realized she had literally run out of school and dashed all the way home with nothing but the clothes on her back. Her backpack and notebook were still on her desk in her study hall classroom. Thankfully the only incriminating page of the notebook had been torn out. But that didn't mean she would be safe when she walked into school the next day. She punched the quarterback of the football team and wrote a list of things she loved about Toni in the middle of class. What the _hell_ was she thinking?

She felt like she was going to vomit when she walked through the door, calling out for her parents only to be met with comfortable silence. She forgot that her parents were going to be at an event until late tonight. And while she would have loved to be comforted by someone right now, she knew that her parents just weren't the people who would make her feel better. She was finally starting to come to terms with that. If only Jason were here. He would know what to do. He would bring her the comfort that she needed.

With a quiet sniffle, she wiped her cheeks on the back of her hand and went up to her room, changing into some flannel pajama pants and an old Bulldogs t-shirt, brushing out her long, knotted hair before going back downstairs to make herself some tea. She tried to put her mind at ease, willing herself not to think about where her backpack was, or how she would get to school tomorrow morning. She just flipped on the TV to an old episode of Full House while she sat on the couch with her tea, legs folded under the purple blanket her Nana had crocheted for her. She loved this show. It was a dysfunctional family, but they always managed to work out their problems by the end of each episode. She longed for her life to be like a sitcom sometimes. 

A few episodes passed when Cheryl heard a knock at the front door. She hadn't been expecting anyone, but she hoped it was Betty coming by to keep her company after inevitably hearing about the torment Cheryl had endured during eight period. "Be right there," she called out, getting up from the couch and padding her way to the door in her white bunny slippers. Wiping any tears leftover under her eyes, she opened the door, taken back by the sight of Toni on her front porch, holding Cheryl's purple backpack on her shoulder over her tight pink t-shirt, "Hi..."

"Hey," the brunette stood confidently on the welcome mat, passing her bag over the threshold, "Thought you might want this back."

"Thanks," the redhead mumbled, shifting her feet nervously after setting her backpack to the side. Her cheeks turned bright pink at realization that she was wearing bunny slippers in front of the most popular girl in school. The most popular girl in school who, after everything, must have thought she was some kind of stalker. "Well, I'll see you at school tomorrow," she cleared her throat and pushed her glasses up, going to shut the door, but she was stopped right away.

"Hang on," Toni's hand bumped against the door, holding it open against Cheryl's attempt to close it. She didn't seem angry or upset. She just seemed determined. "I wanna talk to the girl who made this," her voice was more gentle as she pulled a piece of paper from behind her back, showing it to her. Cheryl's eyes went wide at the sight of the paper that had caused her so much grief over the past few hours. It had been taped back together, still crumpled, but legible. 

Cheryl flicked her eyes between Toni's face and the paper she was holding out to her. She wanted to disappear. How was she supposed to explain this?

"You can relax. No one knows what it says. I didn't show anyone after I got it put back together. I even asked Sweet Pea what it was and he said it was just the drawing," Toni leaned against the door frame, smiling a little at Cheryl's stunned silence. "Can I come in?"

She nodded unconsciously, stepping aside to let her in. "Um...sorry about the mess," she ran her clammy palm up and down her forearm.

"You call this a mess?" Toni quirked an eyebrow at her. The only thing that was out of place was the empty mug on the coffee table and the blanket draped sloppily over the back of the couch. "Sweetie, if your house is a mess than mine is a dump."

Cheryl breathed a nervous laugh, unsure of where to stand while Toni glanced around, "I was just watching TV i-if you wanted to join," she muttered, watching as Toni nodded and walked around the couch, plopping herself down on the cushions. Cheryl took off her bunny slippers and kicked them to the side before joining her, making sure to sit as far away from the older girl as possible. "Is Sweet Pea mad at me?" she asked quietly, her voice low and timid, "I didn't mean to hit him, I just-"

"He's fine. He used it as an excuse to go to the nurse instead of detention," Toni snorted, shaking her head. 

"I really am sorry, though," Cheryl twiddled her fingers together nervously. She knew that Toni and Sweet Pea used to date, and she was truly unsure of how Toni felt about him.

"Don't be. He deserved it," the brunette turned to face her, watching as Cheryl looked down at her hands in her lap, "Did it feel good?"

"What?"

"Punching him. Did it feel good?" she smirked.

"I mean, I guess so," Cheryl shrugged, smiling shyly when Toni laughed, "I've never punched anyone before."

"Well, you picked a good person for your first punch," Toni chuckled, "He can be such an ass sometimes. Well, all the time."

Cheryl tucked stray hair behind her ear. She felt so anxious whenever Toni was around, unsure of what could possibly happen. She'd always feared the unknown, and with Toni it was nothing but that. But for some reason when she was alone with the former Vixen, she wasn't as afraid to face it. "H-how do you know where I live?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing curiously. 

"You're the daughter of one of the most powerful men in town. Everyone knows where you live."

"O-oh..."

"I'm kidding, I looked it up in the phone book, stupid," Toni shook her head with a chuckle, reaching over to playfully slap her arm before picking up the rumpled paper from the coffee table. She held it gingerly in her hands as she glanced over the drawing with a bit of a smile. "This is really good."

"It's just a sketch," Cheryl shrugged, her cheeks flushing again.

"Well it's great. Happy to see my hair looked good today," she giggled, reaching up to tighten the hair in her scrunchie.

"It looks good every day," Cheryl smiled, biting her lip shyly. She was a bit surprised at her own bravery to make that statement.

Toni just looked over at her again, her giggles fading to silence as she flicked her tongue out against her lips. "You think so?" her shoulders lifted with a heavy sigh as she watched Cheryl nod her head.

"I wish I could get my hair to look like yours. Even if I tried to curl it, it would go back to being stick straight in a matter of minutes."

"No, you should be grateful. You manage to look good so naturally. No makeup, no hair spray. You don't have to wear what everyone expects you to wear," the brunette slumped back against the cushions. "Do you know how rare that is in high school? To be able to have the confidence to _not_ spend hours on your hair and makeup every day?" Cheryl just bit her lip and shook her head, making Toni smile a little and she turned her body towards her on the couch, "Well, you're lucky. I'm actually pretty jealous."

" _You're_ jealous of _me_?" 

"Why wouldn't I be? You're able to just go to school and be yourself. No one expects you to act or look a certain way. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not just to keep everyone around you happy." The redhead sighed inwardly. If only that were true. "You're actually really cool, too, it's not even fair," Toni smiled warmly at her.

"No, I'm not," she shook her head, shyly tucking hair behind her ear again, averting her eyes with a hidden smile as she laughed nervously.

"Yes you are!" Toni laughed, scooting closer to her, "You drive that sweet car, you could probably _maim_ a guy with a bow and arrow, and you're a totally talented artist! Just cause you wear glasses doesn't mean you're not cool, Cheryl." The redhead just shook her head with a smile, her cheeks a deep shade of pink. "I'm not gonna let it go until you admit it," the older girl threatened with a smirk, "So say it."

"Say what?" Cheryl giggled, her heartbeat picking up speed when Toni placed her hands playfully on her knees.

"Say you're cool!" she laughed, digging her fingertips gently into Cheryl's knees through her pajama pants and leaning up to poke her sides when she shook her head again, "Say it!"

"Okay, okay, I'm cool," she laughed, starting to feel a little better already. Though she was suddenly aware of how close the brunette was now. She just hoped that Toni couldn't hear her heartbeat over the voices on TV. 

Brown eyes glanced around her pale face with a smirk before Toni pulled back, mumbling a quiet, "good," before reaching for the paper again, flipping it over. Cheryl could feel her muscles tensing as Toni read over her swirly handwriting. "You really think all this about me?" she asked just above a whisper, not looking up from the paper she was holding so delicately.

"Mmhm," Cheryl whispered, her nervousness increasingly rapidly.

"Why do you think so...highly of me? I've been such a bitch to you," Toni frowned, running the pads of her fingers over the nine bullet points, stopping over the tenth one that was left blank except for the line scratched across the paper from when it was ripped from her notebook.

Cheryl thought about her words carefully. She really didn't know the answer. She'd always thought about it herself, and could never figure it out. "There's just...something about you, I guess. In junior high, I just thought that even though you were mean, you were still really pretty...I've _always_ thought you were pretty. But lately...ever since the homecoming game, I've just seen a side of you that I've never seen before. And I like that side of you. I guess I just have hope that I get to see that side of you every time we interact. Those few moments have made up for all the not so nice things you've said and done," she rubbed her hand against her pale arm, boldly watching Toni's face to try to read how she was feeling.

The sitcom on TV was the only noise in the room after that. Toni kept her eyes on the paper while Cheryl kept her eyes on her. She didn't know how long the silence between them lasted, but it seemed like forever until Toni spoke again. "What's number ten?" the brunette whispered, looking up at her. Cheryl had never seen her look so down. She actually looked like she was going to cry. She didn't want that. 

"Just...how you make me feel," she responded with her voice just as low, her heart still thumping against her ribcage, "When you're around and it's just you and me, I feel...I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to pretend like I do with everyone else. Last week at the fall festival, that was the best night of my life. I felt normal. Like for once, I didn't have anything to hide."

"Even after the horrible things I've done to you?"

"I guess so," Cheryl mumbled with a shrug, "Is that okay?"

Toni looked her up and down, her plump, frowning lips parting slightly as she inched closer. Cheryl could feel her stomach muscles tightening as her rapid heartbeat pounded in her ears. The closer Toni got, the more she felt like she was going black out. The brunette got close enough that she could lean over comfortably, her face mere inches from Cheryl's as her hand came up to rest over her heavily beating heart.

"Are you nervous?" she whispered, hot breath gently brushing against Cheryl's face. The redhead just nodded slowly, casting her eyes down to focus on Toni's glossy pink lips while her own trembling hand came up to wrap around hers, pale fingers grabbing onto her tanned ones as they stayed firmly against her chest. "Don't be," Toni closed the space between their foreheads, moving at a pace that was driving Cheryl crazy. The redhead's breathing was ragged when Toni pressed her forehead against her own. She was suddenly _very_ aware of how little experience she had with kissing, and human contact in general. But all her worries melted away when Toni's lips finally touched hers. It was a feather-light touch, but she wanted more. She leaned in further, her free hand coming up to rest against Toni's soft, tan cheek just like she'd seen in movies. 

The brunette smirked a little when Cheryl let out a hint of a whimper and leaned into her more. One hand remained against her rapidly beating heart while the other trailed up along her collarbone towards the back of her head, running her fingertips gently through the little red baby hairs at the nape of her neck. She smiled against her lips when she felt Cheryl's body start to relax, pulling away only after she started to see spots behind her eyelids. They sat quietly together on the couch, their breath mixing between them.

"So...TT?" the brunette smirked after a few moments of silence, still breathless as she pecked Cheryl's lips once more before moving back to sit beside her. The younger girl just ducked her head, blushing and giggling nervously as she licked the strawberry gloss off her lips. "Don't be embarrassed, I think it's cute. No one's ever called me that before." Cheryl looked up at her, biting her lip, still speechless over what had just happened. "As much as I'd like to stay, I've gotta get home. So, let's go," Toni looked her up and down with her signature smirk, patting Cheryl's thigh before getting up.

"Go where?" the redhead finally spoke, looking up at her worriedly.

"To go get your car. Unless you want it to sit at the school all night."

"Oh...You don't mind?"

"Would I have offered if I did?"

"I guess not," she pressed her lips into a tight line and got up, turning the TV off. She didn't feel the need to change, considering they weren't going anywhere where she would be seen. Grabbing her wallet and keys from her backpack, she put on the sneakers she had left by the door, letting Toni lead her out by the hand. She didn't even feel like she was walking. Her legs were numb, making it feel like she was gliding, just floating on air as they approached the silver Toyota.

The ride was quiet between them. Alanis Morissette playing softly from the radio. Cheryl took subtle glances over at the former cheerleader while she drove the short distance to Riverdale High, but frowned a little when she pulled into the parking lot next to Cheryl's vintage red car, bringing the car to a stop.

"Thank you for bringing me back," Cheryl mumbled, back to being her usual shy self.

"No problem," Toni smiled over at her, "Hey, turn around." Cheryl looked confused but let Toni's hands maneuver her in the passenger seat so she had her back to her. She looked out the window at her cherry red car curiously, eyebrows furrowing when she felt gentle fingers starting to rake through her hair.

"What are you doing?" she giggled as she felt her hair being tied up.

"You're an artist, you should know good things take time," Toni chuckled, tightening her pink scrunchie in Cheryl's hair, "You need to learn patience."

"I've wanted to kiss you for five years, I think I know a thing or two about patience," she mumbled timidly, her already pink cheeks turning an even darker shade.

The brunette teased Cheryl's hair up a bit with her fingers after laughing at her smart remark. "There," she grinned proudly, pulling the sun visor down so Cheryl could look at herself in the small mirror. "Now your hair's like mine," she said quietly with a warm smile on her face, watching the side of Cheryl's face as she looked at herself. 

"I don't think I can pull this off," Cheryl shook her head, laughing as she went to pull out the scrunchie that was holding up the top half of her hair.

"No, keep it. You look good. And pink works on you," Toni stopped her, nodding sincerely, "I've got a million scrunchies at home anyways."

"So do I, though," the redhead tried to fight it, despite the fact that her heart was fluttering over the fact that Toni wanted her to give it to her. 

"Just keep it, Cher, I want you to have it," Toni shoved her gently with a mischievous smirk. 

"Thank you," a shy smile covered her face again, keeping the scrunchie in her hair. 

"I'll see you tomorrow?" 

"Okay," Cheryl nodded, biting her lip as silence filled the air between them again. She couldn't describe the way Toni was looking at her, but it made her feel safe and comfortable, like they were the only two people in the world. With the smallest ounce of bravery she had left in her, she leaned across the center console to kiss her once more. It was just a slight peck, but it was all she needed. "Bye," she whispered after pulling back, immediately leaving the car and going to her own. She may have been brave enough to initiate their last kiss, but she found she wasn't brave enough to look Toni in the eye after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... :D


	8. Chapter 8

Cheryl had never been so lost in thought. One thing that she hated about herself was how she would always over think every little thing. And this wasn't a little thing. This was a big thing. A _huge_ thing. She sat against the headboard of her bed, running the pink scrunchie through her fingers. Her hands were starting to get sore from hours of playing with the hair accessory, just staring at it as her mind raced. 

After Toni dropped her off at school to get her car, Cheryl felt like a tub of jell-o and just couldn't stop smiling, no matter how hard she tried. She kept remembering how Toni's lips felt against hers. As unconventional as it was, it turned out to be everything she'd ever wanted for her first kiss. She'd wanted it for five years, pretty much since the first time she'd laid eyes on Toni back in seventh grade. Even if she wasn't aware of it back then.

But as usual, her thoughts insisted on ruining everything for her. Would Toni continue to give her grief at school? What were they now that Toni knew about how she felt? How did she feel? What was she expecting to happen now? 

The more her thoughts ran around in circles, the more she started to doubt everything. Toni didn't like her. If anything, this was probably just some kind of plan to humiliate her just like always. Like what happened in the locker room. Toni always made her think that she had changed and then turned around and proved her wrong. She wasn't sure of Toni's limits, but it seemed like she would stop at nothing to make her life miserable. And Cheryl wasn't going to fall for it this time. Her heart just couldn't take it. The kiss probably meant nothing to the former cheerleader and she probably had some kind of plan to make hundreds of copies of the torn up paper to post all over the school hallways tomorrow.

"Cheryl, dear, we're home!" her mother's voice and the sound of the front door closing came from downstairs, making Cheryl panic and place the scrunchie under her pillow. Hiding it from her parents as if it had the words _'I KISSED TONI TOPAZ'_ written all over it. She didn't realize it was so late. Apparently she had been sitting on her bed lost in thought for almost four hours. 

Turning off her bedside lamp, she tucked herself quickly under the covers, feigning sleep just in case they came into her room to check on her. But as she should have expected, they didn't. She heard their footsteps go past her room after coming upstairs, followed by the sound of their squeaky bedroom door closing down the hall. 

With a relieved sigh, she looked up at the ceiling, pulling the scrunchie from under her pillow, smiling a bit sadly at it. Her parents didn't care about her. And she was sure that Toni didn't either. To her parents, she was just a pawn in their game. Just a character in the wholesome family they pretended to have for the sake of their image. And to Toni...She didn't know what she was to Toni. Years of bullying and torment had given her some major trust issues. How was she supposed to trust her after everything? How was she supposed to feel?

Sighing again, she wrapped the scrunchie around her wrist and pulled her comforter up to her chin, trying to ease her mind enough so she could sleep. But she couldn't stop the memory of that perfect kiss from playing over and over in her head like a broken record.

**xxx**

"You're awfully cheerful this morning," Betty quirked an eyebrow at her best friend as they stood by her locker. "You never stopped by the newspaper room yesterday, but I saw your car in the parking lot."

"Oh, I stayed late to tutor someone after study hall. Sorry, I should have told you," Cheryl lied and pressed her lips together to try to stop herself from smiling. She had her doubts about Toni, but yesterday still happened, and she was still floating on air over it. 

"It's okay," the blonde shrugged, swapping out books in her locker. She continued to talk about something that Cheryl just couldn't focus on. More than likely it had to do with either the newspaper or the church's canned food drive on Sunday. Whatever it was, she couldn't bring herself to pay attention when a certain brunette was walking solo down the hall, looking right at her with a warm smile. Whether she was headed towards them or not, Cheryl found herself in fight or flight mode. And just like most times, she chose flight. 

"Uh, I have to go," she muttered, quickly turning around and walking away before Toni got too close. She didn't know what she was expecting to happen if Toni had approached her. She could have been nice and spoke to her and Betty like human beings. Maybe she was just coming to talk to Betty about the newspaper. There was a chance that she wasn't even going to approach them or say anything at all. She could have just been walking in their direction and decided to shoot Cheryl a secret smile. And here she was running away from it. Great. 

She avoided Toni all day. Gym class was easy. Ms. Lopez had paired her up with Ethel Muggs for basketball passing drills and they spent the 45 minute class teamed up before being released to the locker rooms. Cheryl changed in one of the bathroom stalls and left without making eye contact with a single person in the room. Especially not Toni. At lunch, she ate with Betty and Archie in the cafeteria as usual, trying to ignore the feeling of Toni's eyes on her back. She could practically sense her eyes on her from back at the 'popular' table, and she wanted to look back at her so badly. But she kept her back turned and tried to keep her face neutral in front of her friends. 

The hardest part of her day was study hall. She was the first to arrive as usual, so she took the opportunity to place a pencil on Toni's desk to avoid her inevitable question for one. She kept her head down as students filled the room, praying that no one brought up what had happened yesterday. The teacher was in the process of writing _"ABSOLUTELY NO TALKING"_ on the chalkboard when Toni walked into the room. Cheryl didn't look at her, but she could see from the corner of her eye that she had started to use the pencil she had placed on the desk.

A chill ran down her spine as she placed her headphones over her ears, pressing play on her Walkman so she could listen to Ace of Base while she worked on actual schoolwork. She refused to get lost in her daydreams this time. 

She was in the middle of a calculus problem when a folded paper football landed on her desk, breaking her concentration. It had her name on it, but she was too nervous to pick up her head to look around the room for who had sent it. What if it was Toni? She unfolded it delicately, her heartbeat picking up speed at the anticipation. Biting her lip, she opened the paper up fully, frowning at the words _'dyke bitch'_ written in heavy black ink across the page, along with other insults and lewd little drawings. From the corner of her eye, she could see Sweet Pea and Reggie's hands slap low beside their desks. Figures it had been them. She crumpled up the paper and set it on the corner of her desk before returning to her work, successfully keeping to herself for the rest of class.

**xxx**

The library was quiet, as it was supposed to be, which is why it was one of Cheryl's favorite places in school. She loved how peaceful it was and the smell of both new and old books. She'd come in so often that she and Gladys, the librarian, were on a first name basis.

She skimmed the fiction section for a new book. Something to keep her company at night and distract her from her current hardships. She always preferred fiction over reality. She was reading the description of a new fantasy novel when she started to overhear whispers from the next aisle. Familiar whispers that she couldn't help but listen in on. 

"Sweet Pea told me about that girl drawing the back of your head in study hall," she heard Veronica's voice, followed by the crunch of potato chips or some kind of bagged snack. "She's _such_ a freak. I'm surprised you're not quitting newspaper team and transferring out of all your classes with her."

Cheryl frowned when she heard Toni snort a light laugh, but she didn't respond otherwise. 

"Seriously, Toni, aren't you scared that she has some kind of shrine dedicated to you in her basement or something?"

"It was just a drawing, V. Not everything is an episode of Twin Peaks."

Cheryl bit her lip with a slight smile. She could just imagine how Toni was rolling her eyes right now. 

"I thought you hated her guts, and this is like the second time you've defended her in the past week. Is there something you wanna tell me?" Veronica's voice raised a bit with suspicion and Cheryl could feel her hands starting to tremble with nerves. 

"What the fuck are you getting at, Lodge?" Toni asked through a mouth full of chips. 

"God, Toni, tell me you don't _like_ Cheryl Blossom," she heard Veronica groan with a sigh, "Just cause I said I was fine with you being a lesbian doesn't mean I'm okay with you dating your stalker."

"I'm not dating her, you're so fucking dramatic. And keep your voice down."

"Well, you _obviously_ have a thing for her. You joined newspaper, you told Josie to back off of her at the fall festival, and you're not even a _little_ bit bothered by the fact that she's drawing pictures of you without your permission?" the raven haired girl whispered harshly.

Cheryl pressed her lips into a tight line, willing herself to stop listening. But she just couldn't. 

"First of all, Weatherbee told me it was either newspaper or mathletes. It was the lesser of two evils."

"Yeah, okay," Veronica snorted.

"Seriously, V, you think I would ever like _Cheryl Blossom_?" Cheryl's heart stopped at Toni's mention of her name, "That four-eyed Raggedy Anne? Come on, Veronica, I know you're not that stupid. I wouldn't be caught dead crushing on that loser."

Tears sprung to Cheryl's eyes, fogging her vision as she looked down at her feet. She knew it. She knew Toni didn't like her. She had just been toying with her this whole time just as Cheryl had suspected. She just wanted to know why. And what she had done to deserve it. She should have known better than the be foolish enough to fall for someone so much higher up the high school food chain. She should have never let Toni into her house yesterday. She should have never done that stupid drawing or the list. 

She wiped her eyes to the sound of the two girls laughing before composing herself enough to look nonchalant, though she was sure there was a little too much blush to her cheeks to look completely unbothered. With a sigh of bravery, she walked around into the aisle they were in, pretending not to notice them sitting against the shelves. They stopped laughing when they saw her as she pretended to look for another book. Cheryl wanted to look at Toni. She wanted to see the potential look of sorrow on her face. But the possibility of seeing no sign of remorse for what she had said scared her into keeping her eyes on the bookshelves. 

Scanning the titles blindly, she took a few seconds before picking out a random book, bringing it over to the desk to check out. She heard Veronica whisper something about her being a stalker once again and chose to ignore it. Toni's gaze was burning on her back and she just wanted to go home. 

"Everything all right, Cheryl?" the librarian asked with a concerned smile as she stamped the inside of her books with their due dates.

"Just tired, Gladys," she gave the old woman a bit of a grin in return, thanking her on her way out. Her pace picked up as she headed for the front doors, keeping it together until she left the building. At which point, she broke out into a sprint as her eyes filled with tears again. She just wanted to get to her car, drive home, and lose herself in whatever make-believe world these books had to offer. Away from her parents, away from Toni, away from everybody. 

When Cheryl got to her car, she fished for her keys in her backpack, her fingers landing on the pink scrunchie Toni had given her yesterday. She picked the accessory out of her bag, sniffling as she squeezed it in her hand. Toni's car was parked just a few spots away. She wiped her tired, swollen eyes and practically stomped across the pavement to the Corolla, stretching the pink fabric around the driver's side mirror and leaving it there for the brunette to claim whenever she decided to drive home for the night.

She was _**done**_ with Toni Topaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'alls reviews make me so happy, you have no idea.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone's an asshole and his name rhymes with shmifford shmossom.

Tears dripped down to the pages of Cheryl's new library book, smudging the ink. She had read so many fairytales as a child about princesses who had been kidnapped or locked away in a high tower. Every time a handsome prince or a brave knight would show up on a white horse and save them before they rode off into the sunset. She was seventeen now, but those fairytale endings still got to her. When she was a child, she thought the endings were beautiful. They were so romantic and they made her so happy. Now, while she still felt the same way, they hit closer to home. She was that princess, trapped in a bad situation, waiting for her savior to take her away and ride her off into the sunset. She just wished she knew who that savior was, and when they would come. 

She turned the page and switched on the lamp on her nightstand, the setting sun outside no longer providing the light she needed to finish the book. That same setting sun told her that her parents would be home in a few hours. Every Friday night, like clockwork, they strolled in a few hours after sunset.

With a quiet sniffle, Cheryl read the words that had been so poetically put together, trying to lose herself in the story. However the doorbell chiming throughout the empty house broke her concentration. She marked her page and wiped at her cheeks. She hated being so pale sometimes, because whenever she cried or got embarrassed, flushed cheeks made it ridiculously obvious. She got out of bed and padded down the stairs, opening the door for whoever the evening visitor was. But her neutral expression became one of anger and annoyance when Toni was revealed to be the one on her doorstep yet again. She looked more disheveled than Cheryl had ever seen her, not that she didn't still look gorgeous. But she was in an oversized crew neck and floral leggings with her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail and barely any makeup on her face. 

"What do you want?" she mumbled. She had meant for it to come out snappy, but she just ended up sounding tired and hurt. Which, let's face it, she was.

"Okay, I guess I deserve that," Toni stood up a little straighter, arms folded across her chest, "Look, what you heard in the library-"

"You don't have to explain," Cheryl shook her head, "I should have known better than to think that you were being serious with me yesterday."

"Cher, I-"

"Please don't...don't call me that," Cheryl held a hand up to her, amazed at her own confidence throughout this conversation so far. Something in her must have truly snapped, because she felt like she could get in Toni's face and go on a never ending rant about everything she'd been feeling. But she kept her cool as best she could. She was too emotionally drained to fight. "Aren't you tired, Toni? Don't you ever get sick of making people miserable?" Her mouth was moving faster than her brain at this point. Not even the surprised look on Toni's face could stop her. After years of humiliation, Toni Topaz deserved to finally hear how she felt. "For _five_ years, _you_ have been the reason I'm afraid to go to school. The reason I have to be careful picking out what I wear every day because you and your friends will laugh at me if something doesn't look the way you think it should."

Toni stood in place, watching her intently. Cheryl hated how her brown eyes started to shine with tears, but it didn't stop her. She was finally getting all this off her chest. And if she was fortunate enough, it would help her to let go once and for all. 

"You called me lucky yesterday. Lucky that I can go to school and not worry about having to be anything for anybody. But you have no idea how _exhausting_ it is to try to make yourself as invisible as possible to avoid getting tormented every day. You could go to school dressed just like you are now and people would still worship the ground you walk on. No matter what you wear, what you do, you're still Toni Topaz. You're still the most popular girl in school. I'm just the opposite," she was getting breathless. Spilling your feelings was exhausting.

"I'm a loser, just like you said. A four eyed Raggedy Anne," her voice cracked a little as she watched a tear slip down the brunette's cheek, "You've been calling me names like that since the seventh grade, but it hurts now more than ever. Because I was stupid enough to fall for whatever mean-spirited game you're playing. I was dumb enough to think that you were actually changing and that there was even the _slightest_ possibility that you might like me back. But as usual, I was wrong."

There was a silence between them as they stood under the porch light, tears in their eyes and their hearts heavy with regret and sadness. Toni was too stunned to speak, but Cheryl felt the need to continue.

"So you can apologize, if that's what you came here to do, and I'll accept it. I'll forgive you eventually, but I can't forget everything you've done to me, Toni. I just ask that you please... _please_ stop messing with me. Stop being mean to me, stop being _nice_ to me. Just...leave me alone. We can talk during newspaper _about_ the newspaper and I'll keep lending you pencils for study hall. But that has to be it. I can't take anything else. Please just...respect that."

She watched Toni's eyes, wondering what she would say. But just as the former cheerleader was about to speak, bright headlights from the end of the driveway made Cheryl's heart drop. Her parents were home early.

"You have to leave," she said quietly, moving forward to turn a confused Toni around, pushing her back towards her car, "Please just leave."

Toni was confused, but she let Cheryl push her away, unsure of what was going on. She saw the approaching headlights, but she didn't see what the big deal was about them. Without a word, she got in her car and sped off down the long driveway just before Clifford Blossom's Firebird pulled into the same spot.

**xxx**

"Daddy, please stop it!" Cheryl cried, cowering in the corner of the kitchen as her father's shouting echoed through the dark halls. He was drunk and wobbly, missing her with his belt almost every time he tried to hit her with it. But that only made him angrier. Penelope was no help. She stood back, eerily calm and almost catatonic as her husband went on his drunken rampage. Cheryl ducked as a glass bowl of potpourri smashed against the wall beside her, her scream barely audible over the loud noise.

"Who was here?!" her father yelled, whipping his belt at her again, just barely getting her arm. It stung, but she knew that it could be a lot worse. 

"It was just a girl from the newspaper team, Daddy, she was just dropping off her notes," she lied, her face red from crying so hard. She had no doubt in her mind that her father would kill her and make it look like an accident if he knew the truth. He threw his belt at her as she sat, cowering in the corner with her knees to her chest. 

"Why'd she speed out of here so fast, then? What was she so afraid of if you weren't doing anything?!" he bellowed, stomping over to her. The broken glass crunched beneath his shoes as he pulled Cheryl up to her feet by the collar of her t-shirt, his knuckles white from his vise-like grip. 

"I-I told her that you were home and that I wasn't allowed to have guests over. She wanted to come inside and I told her no," Cheryl's body shook with fear. She couldn't look him in the eye. She looked over at her mother who stood stiff as a board in the foyer, silently begging her for help. "I was just obeying your rules, Daddy," her voice trembled, trying not to breathe in the stench of alcohol on her father's breath. 

She breathed a sigh of relief through her sniffles and sobs when he let go of her collar. But it came all too soon before the palm of his hand came across her cheek at full force, nearly knocking her off her feet and the glasses off her face. She held her hot, stinging cheek in disbelief. Her father had never touched her face before. He never wanted to deal with the questions or accusations he would get if anyone saw bruises on her. And the fact that he was now willing to risk that had the youngest Blossom wondering how far he would go, or if he even had a limit tonight. 

Still holding her hand to her cheek, she looked up at her father, a chill running down her spine at the look he was giving her. If looks could kill, she would already be six feet under. "Clean this mess up, _worthless_ child," he practically shook with rage, walking away mumbling to himself about the devil taking the wrong twin from their family. How they would all be better off if Jason were still around. Cheryl looked at her mother, not surprised that the older redhead just walked away, going up the stairs to follow her husband without a word. She willed herself to stop crying as she stood amongst the broken glass and dried flowers, listening to the muffled sound of her father continuing his rampage upstairs behind their bedroom door. He was right about one thing: they would all be better off if Jason were still around. 

Stepping carefully over the broken glass, she went to the pantry to get a broom and dust pan, kneeling on the hardwood to sweep up the mess. Tears slipped down her reddened cheeks as she cleaned up. She didn't want to be here tonight. Or at all. She didn't feel safe here. Where were you supposed to go when you didn't feel safe in your own home?

After throwing away the glass and spilled potpourri, she tiptoed upstairs to her bedroom, packing a bag as quietly as she could, thinking about what to do as she did so. Her father was still hollering and stumbling around down the hall. If this were like any other night that he came home drunk, he should pass out within the next hour. 

Cheryl sat on her bed, counting down the seconds. Things had quieted down after about a half hour, but she gave herself an extra few minutes just to make sure. She crept down the hall and knelt down to look through the keyhole beneath the crystal doorknob. Both her parents were splayed out on the bed, still in their evening clothes on top of their silk duvet. She honestly didn't know if she was more relieved or upset to see the rise and fall of their chests. 

After getting her bag from her bedroom, she padded slowly downstairs to the kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing the first phone number she could think of and waiting out the ringing with a heavily thumping heart. 

_"Cooper residence,"_ a cheery female voice answered.

"Hi, Mrs. Cooper, it's Cheryl. Is Betty there?" she asked, speaking as quietly into the phone as she could. 

_"No, dear, she's not. She's dog-sitting Vegas for the Andrews this weekend. Do you have their number?"_

"I do, thank you, I'll give her a call," Cheryl hung up before sniffling. She didn't have the Andrews' number. But she didn't want to go to Betty with all this anymore. Betty was one of the many people who saw Cheryl's father as a saint. And as much as Cheryl wanted to get her to see the truth, she didn't want it to be this way.

There was only one other number she could think of. And she had it perfectly memorized like her favorite song. But after everything she'd said just an hour ago, could she really go crawling back to Toni like this? Would she even let her? Cheryl was worried about the answer, but she was desperate. She dialed out the number as another tear slipped down her red, swollen cheek. _" 555-0139,"_ she whispered quietly as she pressed the buttons on the phone, just as she had when she was committing it to memory.

_"Topaz,"_ Toni answered after just a few rings.

"Hi..." she whispered, afraid to get hung up on, "It's Cheryl."

Toni was quiet, but the lack of dial tone told Cheryl that she hadn't hung up on her yet. _"Hey,"_ she finally answered after a few moments of silence. 

"Can you come pick me up...please," Cheryl's voice trembled as she whispered into the receiver, "I know I don't deserve it after how I went off on you earlier, I just...I need to get out of here." 

_"Where are you?"_ Did she actually sound concerned?

"I'm at home. I really don't wanna be here anymore," her voice cracked as she started to cry again, trying to stay quiet. She was already paranoid about her mother listening in on the line upstairs. 

_"Okay, just...stay put. Meet me at the end of your driveway in like...ten minutes."_

"Thank you," Cheryl sniffled before hanging the phone up carefully. She made sure she had her keys and wallet in her duffel bag, as well as her backpack just in case she didn't come back home by Sunday night. If she had it her way, she would be saying goodbye to this place for good. But she knew she had to come back at some point. She was leaving her car here. Aside from the fact that she didn't know where Toni lived, the only reason she was leaving it at home was because her parents would kill her for sure if they found out she was at Toni's house, wherever it was. 

Gravel crunched beneath her feet as she walked up the driveway, going to wait at the mailbox. She hoped Toni was actually coming and wasn't just kidding. The concern in her voice over the phone made it hard to believe that she would leave her hanging. But like Cheryl had said earlier, Toni was always playing games with her like that. She couldn't believe she had been so vocal about how she felt. She had finally told Toni Topaz how much she hurt her and had the courage to ask her to stop. She was proud of herself for that, but seeing as how she was now waiting pathetically on the side of the road for her, she was mentally kicking herself for unloading on the brunette. 

She saw headlights in the distance. This wasn't exactly a popular road, so she was almost positive that it was Toni. And sure enough, the silver Corolla pulled over beside her and Cheryl nearly sobbed at the sight of her when she got out of the car. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" Toni rounded the car and stood in front of her. It was dark outside, so she couldn't see the redness on Cheryl's left cheek. All she could see was that the younger girl looked absolutely distraught. "Come on, get in," she took the bags from her and threw them into the back seat as Cheryl got into the car.

"Where do you wanna go?" Toni asked when she got back into the driver's seat, already driving away. All she knew was that Cheryl was looking to get away from home. 

"I-I don't know," the redhead sniffled, shaking her head as she tried to stay calm. 

Toni looked between her and the dark road, biting the inside of her cheek. She was too young to rent a hotel room, and she didn't know if Cheryl even had the money for one. "Can you keep a secret?" she asked quietly after a few minutes of silent driving, looking over to see Cheryl nodding, "We'll go to my house, then."

Cheryl wondered why she had asked. Why did it matter if she could keep a secret? She may have been upset with Toni, but she wasn't going to tell anyone about any of the things she knew about her, even though it wasn't much. She looked out the window as they continued the drive, her eyebrows knitting together as they passed Pop's Chock'Lit Shoppe, going over the bumpy train tracks and onto the unkempt paved road of South Riverdale. One glance over at Toni and Cheryl could tell that she was tense and nervous. She was about to ask where they were going when Toni took a turn into a neighborhood not far from Pop's, but the dirty sign for Sunnyside Trailer Park explained just about everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll see y'all again after the s3 premiere! follow me on twitter @choniblopaz1 to watch me either keysmash during the whole premiere or cry all night because my house's cable hates the CW and won't let me watch it. either way i'll probably be crying.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did everyone enjoy their choni breadcrumbs in the premiere?

Cheryl looked out the window with watery eyes full of fear. She had no idea that Toni lived on the south side, in the trailer park that housed a majority of the town's gang members and criminals, no less. She didn't judge her for it, of course. Teenagers couldn't exactly choose their living situation. If they could, she would be far away from her own. But she wanted to know why it was such a secret, and how many people knew besides herself. 

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve when Toni pulled the car into one of the dirt driveways, composing herself before following the brunette's lead and getting out. She grabbed her backpack and slung it around her shoulder while Toni took her duffel bag. She didn't question how heavy it was or how much she had packed. She seemed to just want to get Cheryl inside and out of the cold. 

"The bathroom's the first door down the hall on the right if you need it," Toni explained quietly, leading her up to the concrete steps to the cheap metal door. The light above the door seemed to be broken, but the fluorescent blue bug zapper on the side of the mobile home provided Toni with the light she needed to unlock the door. 

"Thank you," Cheryl whispered with a light sniffle. She didn't know what she expected when she walked in, but she was met with just a normal looking living room and small kitchen. The furniture was a bit worn out, but it was clean. The single-wide was obviously much smaller than what she was used to, but it had a much more welcoming feel to it than her own home. 

She watched Toni take her duffel bag to a room past the one she said was the bathroom, biting her lip before ducking into the first door on the right. There was a lot of girly stuff in the bathroom. Hairspray, accessories, makeup, like what she assumed was a typical teenage girl's bathroom. But that's all she seemed to see. There was nothing in the bathroom that indicated anyone else living there. At least not any men. But Toni did say that her dad had passed away years ago. Maybe it was just her and her mom. 

After taking a deep breath, she looked at herself in the small mirror, just barely recognizing the girl staring back at her. The disheveled redhead in her reflection looked exactly how she felt, exhausted, miserable, and terrified. Her face still stung from where her father had hit her. Not bruised yet, but the redness from the hit probably blended in with the consistent flush of her cheeks. She still couldn't believe he had done that. He'd gone as far as to break her arm just a few weeks after Jason died, but he'd never gone for her face. Regardless of whether he was drunk or not, he did it. 

With a sigh, she tried to forget about all that. At least for tonight. She was safe and away from her parents. She was with Toni. But now she had to answer to her. After everything she said to her earlier, she was honestly surprised that the brunette had offered to help her. She hadn't been cruel, that she knew of. She was just so...honest. So brutally honest that she actually scared herself a little. And she knew that she would have to talk to Toni about it.

Taking off her glasses, Cheryl ran some cold water in the sink and splashed it against her face, trying to soothe the red, hot skin before hiding her face in a towel. Sobs were muffled behind the soft terrycloth as she tried to get the last of her emotions out, not wanting to cry like this in front of Toni. She pat down her skin, more gently on the left side and looked at herself in the mirror once more, willing herself to be brave before leaving the bathroom and looking around for Toni in the dim lighting of the trailer. 

"Hey," the brunette greeted her in the kitchen with a half smile, "I dunno if you like tea, but I made some for you. It usually helps me relax."

"Thanks," she mumbled, her voice hoarse from crying, standing awkwardly by the counter.

Toni just smiled and handed her a mug with Tweety Bird on it before getting the sugar from one of the upper cabinets. She stirred some into her own tea and went to sit on the worn out brown sofa, waiting for her to join. Cheryl just repeated her actions, stirring a bit of sugar into her tea and padded over to sit on the couch, as far away from Toni as possible. Not that she didn't want to be near her. If anything, she wanted to be as close to her as humanly possible, craving the comfort. But she had a feeling that Toni didn't feel the same way. 

"No pressure, but...do you wanna tell me what happened?" the brunette held her mug firmly and lifted her legs up onto the couch.

Cheryl pursed her lips and looked down at her mug of tea. She was so tired that she wasn't sure she would even be able to gather her thoughts enough to form the whole story. She had so much swimming around in her head, she didn't know what she would say if she opened her mouth. "I-I don't think I can...not right now," she whispered as she tried her hardest not to start crying again, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, I said no pressure. Whenever you're ready," Toni leaned her elbow against the back of the couch, propping her head up, "You wanna just watch TV or something?" At Cheryl's nod, she turned on the TV to a rerun of Party of Five, sipping at her own tea as they watched in silence. She tried not to pry or ask questions, but Toni couldn't help but glance over at the redhead every time she sniffled. She didn't know what happened, but the fear she saw in Cheryl's eyes when her parents pulled into the driveway earlier had haunted her ever since. And as they started another episode, the bright light from the TV illuminated Cheryl's face just enough for Toni to see the slight discoloration forming on her porcelain cheek.

"Shit," her eyes widened a little before she got up to go to the kitchen, leaving Cheryl alone and confused in the connected room. The redhead followed her with her eyes, wondering what had prompted her to get up. But when she came back with a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a layer of paper towel, she felt her muscles tense as her heartbeat picked up speed. Toni wasn't stupid. She could probably put two and two together to figure out what had happened to her. "Here," Toni's voice was soft as she pressed the bag gently to Cheryl's cheek, holding her head steady with her other hand. Her heart felt like it was breaking in half when the younger girl started to cry once again, her tears hitting the makeshift ice pack as they slid down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry," Cheryl whimpered, keeping her hands to herself as Toni took care of her. For some reason it was all she could think to say. Nothing else came to mind. She didn't feel like she deserved such kindness from Toni after the rant she had gone on before. "I-I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I was just upset and-"

Toni cut her off, 'shh'ing her quietly as her free hand moved to the back of her neck, fingertips idly playing with the baby hairs in a way that Cheryl found so comforting. Toni's short nails grazed back and forth against the base of her hairline in a steady rhythm while she kept the bag of peas against her cheek. She didn't deserve to be treated so nicely. 

"H-he hit me," she stammered, starting to feel herself breaking down yet again, "He's n-never hit me before. Not my face." Toni didn't push her, she didn't ask questions. She just kept her fingers raking gently against the back of her neck and the ice pack pressed carefully to her swollen cheek. "H-he asked who was at the door when they came home. I told him you were just someone from newspaper dropping off notes. B-but he didn't care, he didn't listen," Cheryl sobbed quietly, her clammy hands folded in her lap, "He threw things at me and tried to hit me with his belt. And then he s-slapped me across the face...and called me worthless."

She was so scared. This was the first time she'd ever told anyone about her father's cruelty towards her. He'd always been tough on her, but since Jason's death, he had gotten ten times worse. And despite all the times she claimed that she wanted to expose him, she found herself now in a near panic at the idea of him getting into trouble for this. He would kill her if her big mouth ruined his reputation. 

"Cheryl," Toni sighed, "Look at me." She moved her free hand from the back of her neck to reach down for one of hers, squeezing gently. "You're _not_ worthless, okay? Just cause your dad's a pastor doesn't mean his word is law. If he can't see what an amazing person you are, then he's blind as shit." At least that made her chuckle a little bit through her tears. "I mean it," she laughed a little herself, bringing her hand back up to wipe tears from her untouched cheek, "You're seriously the nicest, most genuine person I've ever met. Anyone who can't see that isn't worth your time."

"You haven't always thought that," Cheryl sniffled, averting her teary eyes. 

Toni bit her lip gently and brought her hand back down, taking the bag of peas away as well to give her cheek a break from the cold. "I have, actually. I just...wasn't the best at expressing emotions in junior high, and being the ice queen bitch just ended up being my brand because of it. But no matter what I've said to your face, I've always thought you were amazing, Cheryl."

"What about what you said in the library?"

Toni sighed and fiddled with the bag of peas in her hand, thinking about her words carefully. "Remember what I told you about high school being a hierarchy? About how I've got a reputation at school?" Cheryl nodded. "I don't know what would happen if anyone found out that I like you. Not just for me, but for you too. I was honestly just trying to cover my own ass. There was one week last year I decided to stop giving my civics teacher, Mr. Simpson, such a hard time, and Veronica's first assumption was that I was sleeping with him for better grades."

"What?" Cheryl actually laughed, though she still had tears on her cheeks. 

"I know right? As if! But the point I'm trying to make is that in Veronica's eyes, if I stop being a bitch to someone I'm normally a bitch to, that means I'm crushing on them. And in this case...it was true. But I couldn't let her know that." That hurt Cheryl enough that she couldn't even be happy about Toni admitting that she liked her. But she should have known that Toni would be ashamed of her like that. "But seriously, Cheryl, think about it. If I had admitted to it, it would get to _everybody_. It would have spread around school like wildfire, rumors would start that we were an item, and that would have eventually gotten back to your parents. And judging by the way your dad reacted to you just talking to someone on your doorstep, I think I made the right choice by keeping up my cold bitch act."

She hadn't thought about that. And now she felt even worse about throwing everything Toni had said about her in her face hours ago on her front porch. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Don't be sorry. I know how it must have sounded to you, which is why I came over to apologize earlier. And then you said all that stuff that just...it made me realize how _awful_ I've been to you. I've always known I was a bitch to you, but just hearing your side of it..." Toni trailed off, "I don't know how I can apologize for it all. I honestly can't promise that things will change at school, but you have to believe me when I say I don't mean any of it. It's all just...image. For both of us. But I know it doesn't make _any_ of what I said or did right. And I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for all of it."

Cheryl just looked up and into her eyes, searching them for any sign of dishonestly. But something about the brunette's face and the look in her eyes told her that she was serious. She didn't know how to feel about all of this. She was upset that Toni wasn't willing to admit to anyone that she liked her. But she hadn't told anyone about liking Toni either. For different reasons, obviously, but she was still keeping her crush a secret just like Toni was. "You like me?" her voice came out in a whisper before Toni started to laugh.

"That's really all you got out of all that?"

Cheryl blushed and looked down at her lap with a shy smile, "Sorry, it's...kind of a big deal for me."

Toni just smirked and lifted the bag of peas to her cheek again, "Now you know how I felt when I read that list of yours." She smiled at the shy look on Cheryl's face and brushed the stray red hairs from her eyes. "How's your cheek?"

"Still pretty sore, but the cold is helping." Toni nodded and raked her fingers through Cheryl's hair, tucking it behind her ear as she held the bag for her. The redhead leaned into her touch with a sigh and a smile, looking up at her like a grateful little rescued puppy. "Thank you," she mumbled, relishing the feeling of fingers in her hair. She was so starved for affection that the simplest of touches could make her heart beat faster.

"C'mere, lay down," Toni moved over on the couch, easing Cheryl down to lay her head on her lap, the makeshift ice pack resting on top of her cheek while Toni continued to comb her fingers through her hair. "That better?" she looked down at her, smiling when she nodded slowly. With a sigh, she leaned back against the cushions, watching Cheryl while she watched the TV. Two weeks ago, she was making this poor girl's life a living hell, and now here she was taking her in and caring for her. She knew that she shouldn't have gotten the multiple chances that Cheryl had given her. But she was grateful for this one, and she planned on not taking it for granted.

**xxx**

"Hey, wake up," Cheryl felt herself being shaken gently. She didn't know what time it was, but the static noise on the TV told her that it was probably late. Her head was still on Toni's lap and the bag of peas on her cheek was pretty much warm at this point.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, trying to subtly wipe the drool from the side of her mouth before sitting up slowly. 

"Almost two AM, we fell asleep," Toni yawned. 

"Oh. Did you need to take me back home?" she asked quietly, a little afraid to hear the answer. She didn't want to go home. Not so soon. Her father was cruel when he was drunk, but his morning hangovers were sometimes even worse. 

"No, god no, I just figured you'd be more comfortable in a bed than on the couch," Toni shook her head, turning off the TV and helping Cheryl up to her feet, "Your duffel bag's in my room."

Cheryl nodded and followed her down the short hallway to Toni's bedroom. She immediately felt a sense of warmth in the small space. It was cozy. The wood paneling on the walls barely noticeable due to the abundance of posters and personal photos. Her twin sized bed was like a mountain of soft pillows and blankets, making it look incredibly inviting. And she was exhausted enough that she just might pass out the minute her head hit the pillow.

"Make yourself comfortable," Toni gave her a bit of a smile before leaving the room. Cheryl wondered if she was spending the night alone in Toni's room or if the brunette would come back. She hoped for the latter, if she were being honest. After everything, she really didn't want to be alone. Especially not tonight. 

After getting her teeth brushed, she stood in the middle of Toni's room, glancing around at the photos that covered the walls. There were some Polaroids of Toni with her friends, and some of the larger developed photos of random, artsy things she must have shot. But there was one small frame on her dresser that caught her eye. Toni couldn't have been older than eight or nine in the picture, a giant smile plastered on her face with her arms wrapped around the shoulders of a man and woman. Cheryl assumed they were her parents, considering Toni looked just like the woman. She looked so happy. Cheryl remembered being that happy at that age too. 

With a sigh, she tucked herself under the covers of Toni's bed, leaving the light on in case she was going to come in. She couldn't believe that she was lying in Toni Topaz's bed. Her fourteen year old self was jumping for joy inside her, but her twelve year old self would probably think that she had lost her mind. 

She waited for Toni, staring up the ceiling. Her vision was a bit blurry, since she had set her glasses on the nightstand. Five minutes turned into ten, and she was starting to think that she wasn't coming. And as tired as she was, she didn't think that sleep would come as easily to her as she wanted it to if the brunette wasn't beside her. She didn't want to seem desperate, but let's face it, she was. Getting up slowly, she padded out to the main living space, finding her laying on the couch.

"Toni?" her voice was quiet as she wrapped her arms around herself, her toes meeting the line between the carpet and the linoleum. 

"Hm?" 

"Can you, um...I don't...I don't wanna be alone," she looked down at her feet, wringing her hands together. She couldn't really see Toni, but she could see the shape of her on the couch, watching as she picked her head up.

"You want me to sleep with you?" she asked, biting her lip at the admittedly adorable nod from the redhead before getting up. Cheryl smiled and turned around, heading back towards the bedroom with Toni behind her. Her heart was pounding from nerves, but she tried to remain as nonchalant as possible. 

Crawling back into the bed, she moved over as much as she could in the small space, making room for Toni who got in beside her. She took her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched the former cheerleader get comfortable. They were forced to lay close together, but neither of them had any complaints. 

Toni reached up to run her fingers delicately over the slightly discolored skin of Cheryl's cheek. She didn't know if this would have happened to her if she hadn't been at her house earlier today. Maybe if she hadn't been there, her father would have spared her. But she tried to push that thought down when Cheryl's hand came up to cover her own. She seemed happy enough for now, and that was all she wanted for her. 

"Thank you for coming to get me," the redhead whispered, eyes not leaving Toni's as she squeezed her tan fingers in hers.

"Any time," she smiled a little, watching as Cheryl closed her eyes and scooted a bit closer, her breathing evening out quickly as she fell fast asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 seemed to be having a lil glitcheroo the night i posted the last chapter, so just make sure you've read chapter 10 before you start this one!

Sunlight peeked through the tattered blinds and curtains of the mobile home window, stirring Cheryl awake from her curled up position in the unfamiliar bed. Everything about yesterday was real. The library, her parents, Toni coming to her rescue, it all really happened. And now here she was, alone in Toni's bed. 

_**Alone?** _

She furrowed her eyebrows and reached for her glasses, looking around for the girl she had fallen asleep beside last night. She was nowhere to be seen, and there was no noise from around the small house that told her that she was still here. Sitting up, she looked around, finding a little piece of paper with Toni's scratchy handwriting on it.

_Went to Pop's to grab breakfast. Back soon x_

Cheryl just smiled a little and laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. Despite the events, she slept better than she had in ages. She still had her doubts about Toni, and she had a feeling that she always would. Years of bullying had destroyed her sense of trust. But Toni had been so kind to her last night that it felt like the last five years of torment had never even happened. She was like a completely different person than the one Cheryl was used to. She was gentle and nonjudgmental, making her feel safe and comforted for the first time since Jason was alive. Though they were barely ten years old when he died, Cheryl didn't believe there would ever be another person that she trusted and loved more than her brother. 

The front door opened, making her flinch a bit in surprise before she sat up, listening in on Toni singing the remainder of whatever song must have been on the radio on her way back. Her feet touched the shaggy brown carpet as she pulled herself out of bed, running her fingers through her long red hair to make herself look at least a little presentable. Toni's voice got a little louder as she stepped out of the room, going down the hallway. She peeked around the corner and saw her emptying out the paper bag from Pop's, setting to-go containers down onto the counter as she sang "Breakfast at Tiffany's" to herself, oblivious to Cheryl's presence until the redhead cleared her throat quietly. 

"Oh, hey," Toni smiled a little, "I wasn't sure what you like for breakfast, so I just kinda got you some basic stuff. Oh, and a strawberry milkshake, cause whenever I see you at Pop's, you get one."

"Thanks," Cheryl blushed, stepping further into the small kitchen, wringing her fingers nervously. 

"How's your cheek feel?"

"Oh," she brought a hand up to her face. She had been so distracted that she had momentarily forgotten the reason she was here in the first place. "It's a little sore, but only when you touch it. Does it look bad?"

"Just a little purple, but not too bad. The swelling went down at least. It might be back to normal by Monday," the brunette came over with the styrofoam cup and a to-go box, setting it on the small round table in the corner. "Do you have concealer or anything to cover it up at school?"

Cheryl just shook her head a little and sat down at the table. "I'm not allowed to wear makeup. Even if I was, I don't know anything about it," she mumbled shyly, as her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten since lunch at school yesterday. 

Toni just nodded and sat down across from her at the table with her own to-go box and a chocolate shake. "I would teach you, but I don't have anything your shade," she gave her a half smile, "But there's a little convenience store up the street where I get a lot of my makeup...if you wanna go later."

"Oh, uh...I don't know..." she looked up at her a little worried. 

"You afraid that because this is the south side, you're gonna get mugged or something?" the older girl smirked, poking her waffle with her fork. 

Cheryl was quiet. How was Toni always so good at reading her? There were honestly other reasons that she didn't want to leave the small trailer, but the fact that they were on the south side was the main one. She didn't want to judge the area Toni lived in, but her parents had driven it into her head all her life that she shouldn't go to the south side of town. Pop's was the closest she could get to it and still be safe, and even that was pushing it sometimes. She didn't know what to expect over here. "I-"

"I get it. I can tell you, it's not as bad as people make it sound. But if you feel safer here, then I can just go to the store for you later. I'll just pick up the lightest shade of concealer they've got," Toni chuckled, gently nudging her foot playfully against Cheryl's shin under the table, making her blush as usual as she picked at her own food with a smile. 

"Have you always lived here?" she asked after a few moments of silence, curious about Toni's situation. While her own life had its secrets, she felt like Toni knew everything about her, whereas she knew nothing about the brunette.

"Not really," Toni shook her head after swallowing a mouthful of food, "I was born and raised on the south side. My parents just...struggled with money. But then my mom got a really good job when I was about eight. Really high profile. And they told her that it would be better for her image and company morale if we moved to the north side. So we packed up and moved to this cute little neighborhood where everyone looked and acted like they were from the 1950's. Kinda like Betty." Cheryl just chuckled a little at that comment. Betty's sense of style was rather unique. "Anyway, they started getting into some more financial trouble a little over a year later...And when they died, I lived in foster care on the north side for a year before I was sent over here to live with my uncle. This is his trailer."

"Shouldn't you be going to Southside High if you live here?" Cheryl asked curiously, hoping she wasn't prying too much.

"I'm supposed to. But after I moved here, my social worker thought that it would be better for me to not have to change school districts. That way I didn't have to deal with too much change at once," she explained. She stared at the to-go box full of food in front of her, a bit lost in thought as the room fell silent. "God, sorry, I could have just said no instead of giving you my life story."

"No, it's okay," Cheryl shook her head quickly, pushing her glasses up her nose, "I was just curious...I'm sorry about your parents." 

"No need to be. Shit happens," Toni shrugged it off, continuing to eat. She had done the same thing when she had talked about her dad at the fall festival. Was she really that unaffected about it? Cheryl hated her parents, and even she wouldn't be so carefree if they died. "Anyways, the reason I asked if you could keep a secret yesterday is cause no one knows I live here. Not even Sweets or Ronnie."

"Really?"

"Really."

Cheryl chewed a bit slower as she looked over at her, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. "I won't tell anyone. You can trust me."

"I know I can. You can trust me too, you know. I'm not gonna tell anyone about this."

_"Probably because she doesn't want anyone to know she spent the night with the biggest geek at school,"_ Cheryl's inner voice taunted her.

"You can stay as long as you need to, though. When it comes to school and stuff, we can make it work," Toni's voice interrupted her intrusive thoughts.

"Won't your uncle be mad you had someone over without permission?" 

"Doubt it. He only stays here like, once a month. He's usually...away on business, I guess."

"Oh. I'm sorry for prying, I was just curious," Cheryl ducked her head, gently stabbing her scrambled eggs with her fork.

"I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't okay with you knowing," Toni chuckled, reaching over for her free hand that was resting on top of the table, "You've gotta stop apologizing for every little thing."

"...Sorry," the redhead bit her lip as a smile threatened to spread across her face at Toni's laugh. 

"I mean it, though. If something's not your fault, there's no need to apologize for anything," the brunette smiled, squeezing her hand gently before pulling her hand back when Cheryl nodded in understanding.

**xxx**

"Okay, pick a color," Toni held the folded paper fortune teller out to Cheryl. After breakfast, Toni had put on the TV as some background noise while they just talked about anything and everything. Cheryl learned that Toni's favorite movie was Honey I Shrunk The Kids (though she told everyone else that it was Pretty Woman) and she used to take swimming lessons. And Toni learned that Cheryl's favorite color was red and she was allergic to cats. Cheryl never thought that she would ever be here, laughing so freely in a trailer on the south side with Toni Topaz.

"Pink," the redhead giggled, pointing to the rose colored square before Toni pinched the folded paper in her fingers, spelling the word 'pink' out loud as the paper creation flipped back and forth.

"Pick a number?" 

"Seven."

"One more number and a yes or no question," Toni instructed after flipping the paper seven times, holding the fortune teller out for Cheryl to choose from one of the numbers written inside. 

"Two. Aaaand...Will I be prom queen this year?" she laughed at her own ridiculous question. 

Toni just giggled and lifted up the number two, revealing the word "yes" written underneath with raised eyebrows. "Looks like I'm in the presence of future Riverdale High royalty," she smirked with a chuckle.

"No, I think that thing's _definitely_ broken," Cheryl shook her head with a hearty laugh. She hadn't laughed this hard in so long, it felt good. She felt carefree for once. 

"Nope, the cootie catcher knows everything," Toni chuckled.

"Okay, pick a color," she smiled after taking the fortune teller from her, holding it tightly in her pinched fingers.

"Yellow."

_Y-E-L-L-O-W_

"And a number?" she held the options out to her.

"Ten"

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10_

"One more number and a yes or no question."

"Five. And...Am I gonna get to kiss Cheryl Blossom at all today?" her voice was low, almost a whisper as Cheryl's heartbeat sped up for what felt like the millionth time today. And it was only noon. 

The redhead bit her lip, looking at Toni across the short distance between them on the couch. She wanted to kiss her. She'd wanted to kiss her again since Thursday night after Toni had dropped her off in the school parking lot to get her car. And the amount of strength it took to hold herself back from kissing her last night was worthy of _at least_ a pat on the back. But now was her chance. Toni wanted it and so did she. Without even looking at what the fortune teller had to say about it, she leaned over the short distance and pressed her chapstick coated lips against Toni's, fireworks going off in her head when Toni pulled her in closer until Cheryl was nearly in her lap. 

The redhead kept herself up with her knees against the cushions below her. Pale, trembling fingers cupped the sides of Toni's face as their lips brushed together gently. She didn't know what it was, or if it was how she was supposed to feel, but she felt like the entire world around them was melting away, leaving them alone on the couch in the comfortable little trailer. Cheryl felt like Toni's hands were burning through her loose grey crew neck, as if the thick fabric wasn't even covering her sides where she was holding onto her. 

She followed the brunette's lead, feeling her lips move against hers. She'd never kissed anyone but Toni before. Not like this. She didn't have the experience or even the knowledge to know what she was doing. All she knew about kissing was what she saw in movies or what Betty told her whenever she returned home from camp every summer. But nothing could have prepared her for kissing Toni Topaz. She felt like this was such an experience that even someone with a PhD in kissing couldn't explain it. She felt heavy and light at the same time and her mind felt like that one channel on TV that was always just loud, black and white static. But she felt safe with Toni's hands on her sides, holding her steady so she didn't float away. She wanted to feel this way forever. 

She pulled back slowly after what felt like an eternity, feeling Toni's uneven breath against her face as she struggled to open her own eyes. She watched her flick her tongue over her lips and reach for the fortune teller, quirking an eyebrow curiously when Toni chuckled a little at the paper toy. 

"You were right, maybe it _is_ broken," she smirked, showing her the words _'definitely not'_ written underneath the number five.

**xxx**

"What do you mean you've never watched Friends?!" Toni gaped at her, kneeling in front of the TV so she could fiddle with the VCR.

"I've just...never seen it. My parents said I'm not allowed to watch it," Cheryl shrugged, leaning back against the couch cushions. Normally she would be bored with sitting on the couch all day, but the day had flown by so fast that it didn't even feel like she had spent hours on the worn out cushions. 

"Oh my god, it's such a good show. I think I have some episodes recorded around here somewhere..." Toni sifted through a pile of blank tapes, each one labeled with a different movie or TV show. "If you wanna watch it, that is."

"I guess so," she nodded, wiping pizza grease off her lips. She didn't want today to end. The sun had already gone down and she knew that Sunday was approaching. And she would be missing church for the very first time. She just knew that her parents would make up some kind of excuse for her absence. But if she was lucky, tomorrow would just be a repeat of today. Maybe she could even wake up from another nap, wrapped up in Toni's arms like she had earlier. 

Toni stuck her tongue out in concentration as she read tape labels, finally finding the one she wanted and sticking it into the VCR. "Seriously, I think you're gonna love it, it's really funny."Cheryl just smiled and watched her come back to the couch, leaning back against her when she sat down. 

She was right, it _was_ really funny, and she could see why Toni and everyone else in the world loved it. She also could see why her parents didn't allow her to watch it. But she couldn't help but feel a sense of warm fuzziness inside her as she watched the two minor characters, Carol and Susan, have such a normal relationship. Cheryl was almost dumbfounded. Two women in a normal, seemingly healthy relationship, getting ready to raise a child together on a major network TV show? She didn't think such a thing could have existed. The way her parents talked about homosexuality and how she was brought up, she would think that the world would be outraged at something like this, calling it disgusting and unnatural. But according to Toni, the show was already on its second season and was very popular and successful.

"You okay?" Toni asked, fast forwarding through the commercials with the VCR remote.

"Yeah, just...I guess I know now why my parents don't want me watching this," she shrugged, looking down at her lap.

"I can put on something else if you want-"

"No, I really like it. I just never thought I'd see...lesbians on TV," Cheryl's voice lowered as if God would strike her down for using the "L" word. 

"I guess it makes sense why your parents wouldn't want you watching it," Toni leaned her head down against hers, tanned fingers playing idly with her pale ones. 

Cheryl didn't understand. How could two women live such a normal life together on a popular TV show while she was still mocked daily at school for even being rumored to like girls? If the world could be so accepting of Carol and Susan, why couldn't they accept her too?

"You gonna want any more pizza?" she was torn from her thoughts when she felt Toni's lips against the top of her head, making her smile as a light blush covered her cheeks. 

"No, I'm full, thank you," she murmured, leaning up to kiss her quickly. It was becoming so much more natural to her, and she couldn't get enough. 

"It'll be in the fridge if you get hungry," Toni just smiled, kissing her again gently before getting up to clean things up. 

Cheryl listened to the show as she watched Toni move around the small trailer. She'd offered to help clean up after breakfast and lunch and Toni wouldn't let her, so she was staying put this time. "Toni?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think tomorrow we can...go to the store that you were talking about earlier today? So you can show me how to cover up the bruising?"

"I can go for you if you wanna stay here, hun," Toni looked over at her, making Cheryl bite her lip at the little term of endearment.

"No, I wanna go with you," she shook her head, sitting up a little more on the couch.

"Okay. We can go in the morning if you want. It'll just be us and the rest of the heathens who don't go to church," she smirked at Cheryl's giggle, putting the pizza box into the fridge before coming back into the living room, letting the redhead kiss and cuddle up to her while they watched the rest of the episodes on the tape.

**xxx**

"Why me?" Cheryl spoke quietly in the dark of Toni's bedroom. She had the little grey koala she had won and given to her at the fall festival cuddled against her chest and Toni's arms wrapped around her from behind. She was surprised that she was still awake, considering Toni's steady breathing against the back of her neck was so soothing.

"What?"

"Why do you like _me_ , of all the girls at school?" she asked again quietly, keeping her back to Toni's chest. "You could have anybody you wanted. You said Veronica's straight and you even managed to...get her. What was so different about me?" She felt Toni take a deep breath against her back and turned around to finally face her, just barely able to see her face in the dark room. 

"Do you remember back in seventh grade, Mrs. Gardner's science class?" she asked, continuing after Cheryl nodded, "It was one of the first weeks of school and we had to dissect frogs. And you-"

"Wouldn't do it," Cheryl finished the sentence for her with a bit of a sad smile. That wasn't a good day for her. 

"You were crying, saying you couldn't do it and we were all laughing. I didn't want to laugh at you, because I felt the same way you did. I didn't want to dissect a frog either, but I had to follow the crowd. No one else in class besides you seemed scared about it, and I knew that if I strayed from the pack, they would end up making my life miserable for it. And from that point on, it was easier to just...be mean to you than to ignore you completely, as shitty as it sounds. But that day in science class, I knew that you were different. You were nice and compassionate...and I liked that. And you never changed. I've had at least one class with you every year for the past five years, and each class you manage to show me what a selfless, genuine person you are."

"Like by lending you a pencil every day in study hall?" the redhead smirked.

"Would you totally laugh at me if I told you that I only ask for pencils so I have an excuse to talk to you?" Toni bit her lip through a smile.

"Are you serious?" Cheryl giggled.

"It's lame, I know, but I've never really been given the chance to be nice to you, cause my dumb friends are always around," she rolled her eyes, scooting her face a little closer to hers. 

Cheryl just smiled, making out more of her face now that her eyes had adjusted. She reached a hand up and trailed a finger down the bridge of Toni's nose, dragging it down to her pillowy soft lips. "Why did you want to ignore me?" she whispered curiously.

"Hm?"

"You said it was easier to be mean to me than to ignore me completely. Why did you want to ignore me?"

Toni opened her mouth to speak, unsure of what to say. How was she supposed to explain that? She never wanted to say anything about it. It was supposed to be a secret. It would have been much easier to keep if Cheryl hadn't been enrolled in public school. But the minute the homeroom teacher said the name 'Cheryl Blossom' on the first day of seventh grade, Toni knew she was screwed. She'd managed to keep it a secret for this long, regrettably bullying Cheryl to make it easier. She hoped that enough mean comments and pranks on her would make Cheryl despise her. That way, if the secret ever got out, she would already hate her. But now that they had gotten so much closer, how was she supposed to keep it from her any longer? She didn't _want_ the redhead to hate her now. 

"I...I can't explain it right now," she mumbled, shaking her head, "I just...can't."

Cheryl watched as Toni averted her eyes in what looked like fear. She hadn't meant to push her or make her uncomfortable. She was still curious, but she would never force Toni to tell her anything. She pressed her warm lips to hers, cupping her cheek gently. 

"I'm so sorry," a tear slipped down the older girl's cheek, her voice quietly and mildly shaken against Cheryl's lips. It was a whole-hearted apology, referencing _everything_ that had happened over the past seven years, "I'm _so_ , so sorry, Cheryl."

"It's okay," the redhead whispered, unaware of how much Toni was _really_ apologizing for.


	12. Chapter 12

Cheryl Blossom was a name that most, if not _all_ people in Riverdale knew. North and South side alike. To most people on the north side, she was known as the mousy little daughter of Clifford and Penelope Blossom. They were the most righteous and wholesome family in town. And on the south side, her name was known of, but not her face. Not many people would be able to tell who she was just by looking at her. But that didn't stop her from wearing one of Toni's large hoodies a pair of her sunglasses when the brunette drove them to the convenience store just after sunrise on Sunday morning.

"It's just a normal store, Cher," Toni chuckled at the girl in her passenger seat.

"I know, I'm just...nervous," the redhead played with her glasses in her lap.

"We'll be quick. You're safe with me. Promise," she smiled over at her after she pulled into a parking spot for the run-down corner store.

Cheryl felt heat come to her face at Toni's words. She did feel safe with her, which is why she had agreed to come out with her in the first place. She was starting to really trust her. It's amazing how spending time with someone for over 24 hours straight can change your relationship with them. "Okay," she nodded quietly, lifting the sunglasses to the top of her head and smiling into the quick kiss Toni leaned over to give her. 

They got out of the car and walked into the store. As scared as Cheryl was, she knew it would be better if she didn't hold Toni's hand, just in case. But Toni made sure she stayed close. They were the only ones in the store besides the owner, who greeted them briefly when they came through the doors. Cheryl followed her towards the health and beauty aisle, biting her lip at the array of makeup they had. She didn't even know what half this stuff was.

"C'mere," Toni beckoned her over to a display of tubes and containers of powder, holding a few of them up to her pale face to see which shade would work best. "Definitely ivory," she nodded, putting the other options back before searching the aisle for anything else they might need. 

"Just let me know how much I owe you," Cheryl murmured quietly, following her closely with a bit of a smile. 

"Don't worry about it," the brunette waved a hand at her. She felt partially to blame for why Cheryl needed the concealer in the first place. Buying it for her was the least she could do.

**xxx**

"Turn just a little to the right," Toni instructed, brushing the pale concealer onto Cheryl's face, sitting cross-legged across from each other on the twin sized bed. the redhead just giggled and did as she said, keeping her eyes closed. "There. I didn't put on too much, but it's enough to cover up the bruising until it goes away," she smiled handing Cheryl a little handheld mirror so she could see for herself.

"Wow, you can't even see it," she looked almost dumbfounded after putting her glasses back on to see.

"You can have this brush, I've got a few from Veronica," Toni held up the one she had just used, putting it off to the side with the concealer. 

Cheryl thanked her and put the mirror down, biting her lip gently with a smile. Thankfully the makeup covered most of the blush that came to her cheeks at the look Toni was giving her. She was looking her up and down like she was deep in thought, that signature smirk plastered on her face. "What?"

"Wait right here," Toni held up a finger before getting off the bed, leaving Cheryl alone in the bedroom. The redhead just glanced at herself in the small mirror, pressing gently against her cheek to test the bruise. Thankfully it didn't look that bad, even without the makeup, but it was really sore. "Take your glasses off and close your eyes," the brunette instructed with a grin as she came back into the room, holding a few things in her hands. 

Cheryl looked at her, confused, but did as she said anyways, holding her glasses in her lap and closing her eyes. She felt Toni sit back down in front of her before a gentle hand took hold of her chin. "Stay still, okay?" Toni's voice was as gentle as her touch and Cheryl put her trust in her completely. She only flinched a little bit when she felt Toni putting something on her eyelashes, followed by her cheeks. 

"You know you've got really great lips?" Toni tilted her chin up for her.

"You too," the redhead's cheeks flamed up again.

Toni just chuckled a little and shook her head, even though Cheryl couldn't see it, "I meant for putting lipstick on, but thanks." She pressed a kiss to the lips she thought so highly of before holding Cheryl's chin again, starting to paint them a deep shade of crimson. She blotted off the excess and smiled at her handiwork. "Open your eyes," she whispered, watching as the redhead blinked her eyes open, her mascara covered eyelashes making the dark brown orbs even darker. She had a slight tint of blush on her cheeks and with the dark red lipstick, she looked like a whole different person. 

"No, not yet!" the brunette caught Cheryl's hand when she reached for the mirror, stopping her from looking at herself before getting up to raid her closet. Cheryl was honestly worried about what she looked like. She hadn't worn makeup a day in her life, with the exception of the time her Nana got her a play makeup kit for her seventh birthday. Her parents had thrown it away the minute they saw her using it. 

Toni came back with a fuzzy black cropped t-shirt and a black and red plaid mini skirt. "I think we're about the same size," she commented, placing the clothes down on the bed and boldly reaching for the hoodie Cheryl was wearing, tugging it carefully over her head before the younger girl had a chance to even react. She had a basic white bra on that Toni had seen before in the locker room, but her body still flushed with shyness. Toni was a little too excited about this little makeover, and didn't even notice how timid she seemed. "Here, put this on," she handed Cheryl the mini skirt after helping her get the t-shirt on, dashing back out of the room to fumble around in the bathroom again.

Cheryl quickly put the skirt on, suddenly feeling extremely shy all over again. She'd never worn so little clothing before, but this was Toni's regular attire. She crossed her long, exposed legs under the skirt and covered her bare midriff when Toni came back in with her hairbrush. "I know this isn't what you're used to, but trust me, you look _hot_ ," the brunette assured her, starting to run the brush through Cheryl's long red hair, parting it off to the side instead of its usual spot in the middle. Brown eyes watched Toni's face as she worked on her hair. She looked so focused and determined, but so happy. And as uncomfortable as Cheryl was with the idea of a makeover, she liked seeing Toni with a genuine smile on her face.

"There," she smirked, putting the hairbrush down and handed Cheryl her glasses before turning her around to face the full length mirror near the door. 

The redhead was speechless at the sight of the girl in her reflection. She barely recognized herself. Her face had color, her outfit was bold and provocative, and it amazed her how different she could look just by parting her hair differently. "Wow," she mumbled, looking herself up and down as Toni moved her arms from covering her midriff. 

"Told you, you look hot," Toni's reflection smirked at her, "I should start calling you Cheryl Bombshell." Her hands brushed against her bare sides, sending a chill down Cheryl's spine as her body became covered in goose bumps.

"D-do you think I look...better like this?" Cheryl asked quietly, hesitant to meet her eyes in the reflection. She was almost afraid to hear her answer. She knew that if Toni liked her better like this, then more than likely she would end up disappointed, since this was probably the only time she'd see her looking like this. 

"Well...you look amazing," Toni shrugged from behind her, still watching her in the reflection. Cheryl's heart both dropped and fluttered at her comment, glancing down at her feet without a word. "But I don't like you better or worse. Whether you're Cheryl Blossom or Cheryl Bombshell, doesn't matter to me, as long as you're still Cheryl."

The redhead looked at her in the mirror again, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. She wanted to swim in those pools of warm chocolate brown, submerge herself under and never come up for air. She was starting to realize that this girl, the girl who she thought hated her guts, was actually the one person who was accepting and appreciative of everything she was. She turned around and wrapped her arms around the Toni's neck, holding her in a tight embrace before pulling back just enough to kiss her. Her red painted lips moved slow and gentle against Toni's as she sighed contently into the kiss. 

She never wanted this weekend to end.

**xxx**

"I think I should go home," Cheryl mumbled, breaking the comfortable silence between herself and the brunette. It was nearly four pm and her parents were likely getting ready to go out for their usual Sunday dinner in the city. She had a feeling that they hadn't cared that she was gone all weekend. They weren't concerned for her whereabouts or if anything had happened to her. She knew very well that her parents wouldn't care less if something bad happened to her. They would just use it as a ploy to get donations and sympathy from the clueless church-goers that worshipped the ground they walked on. Just like they had done after Jason died.

"Are you sure? I don't mind if you stay," Toni blinked her eyes open, looking at the redhead laying on the pillow beside her. 

"I don't _want_ to go, but...I think it'll be better if I do. The longer I'm away, the worse things will get," she sighed, inching her face a bit closer to hers while Toni wrapped her arm tighter around her. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, what have I told you about saying sorry for stuff you don't have to apologize for?" Toni smirked a little, bringing her hand up to stroke her bare, bruised cheek. All the makeup she had put on Cheryl had been washed off a few hours ago and she'd changed into some normal clothes. "I had fun this weekend. Sorry my house isn't exactly the Pembrooke."

"No, it was perfect," the younger girl smiled, sighing dreamily as she closed her eyes. She tried to memorize the feeling of Toni's thumb rubbing so gently against her cheek. She could feel the brunette easing in closer and she prepared herself for the kiss she wanted so badly, despite the countless amount of them she'd gotten in the past 24 hours. But the ringing of the telephone in the kitchen made them both flinch and break apart. 

Toni sighed and just pecked her lips quickly before getting up, padding out to the kitchen. "Topaz," she sighed into the phone. Cheryl could hear her greet Veronica and her heart dropped, suddenly very aware that tomorrow meant going back to school, facing reality all over again. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she had a strong feeling that nothing was going to change.

"I've been busy catching up on homework, V. I'm sorry I missed the mall _one_ time," Cheryl could practically hear Toni rolling her eyes in the other room, making her smile and even giggle through her little fit of worry. She watched the brunette come into the room, holding the cordless phone up to her ear as she smirked at her, coming back to sit on the bed next to where she was lying on her side. "No, I'm not mad at you, we don't have to spend _every_ weekend together at the mall...Yes, I'll be at school tomorrow, but I've got newspaper, so I can't hang after." 

Cheryl just smiled up at her, her heart racing when tanned fingers brushed her temple to tuck loose hair so delicately behind her ear. "I know it's lame, but do you want me back on the Vixens senior year or not? You know what Weatherbee said," Toni rolled her eyes again, making Cheryl cover her mouth to stifle her giggling. But her laughter faded when she watched Toni's face fall. "Veronica, you know when you say shit like that about her, you're talking about me too, right?"

They were talking about her, Cheryl just knew it. She bit her lip and brought her hands up, idly picking at the skin around her chewed up nails. "It's one thing to joke around about it in front of our friends, but when you say it just to me, it's different. Whether she likes girls or not, you _know_ I do. Do you say this shit about me to Josie and Midge when I'm not around?" The brunette covered Cheryl's hands with one of her own, stopping her little bad habit. "Well, you certainly weren't complaining last week after practice."

She watched as Toni moved to lay down beside her again, brown eyes locking in a solemn gaze. "It's whatever, Veronica, but maybe the ice queen thing is getting old," Toni sighed, reaching up to run her fingertips against Cheryl's sensitive cheek. "Well, I'm one of those newspaper freaks now, so when you talk shit about them, you're talking shit about me too." Her eyelids fluttered shut when Toni leaned in to kiss her slowly, their lips meeting gently enough to avoid Veronica hearing them through the phone. She didn't know how, but Cheryl could sense how apologetic Toni was just from how she kissed her. She was gentle and affectionate, and combined with how she was talking to Veronica, she seemed to really regret all the years of being such a bully to her.

"Okay, see you tomorrow," the brunette mumbled, clicking a button on the phone to hang it up.

"What's school gonna be like tomorrow?" Cheryl laid her head back down on the pillow, looking at Toni like she had all the answers to every question she could come up with.

"I dunno," she sighed, putting the phone on her nightstand and laying her head down beside Cheryl's, "It might be the same as always. Sweet Pea and Reggie will be assholes and the Vixens will egg them on as usual. And I'll probably be there, laughing along with them, but...I won't mean any of it. It's all just-"

"Image," the redhead mumbled a bit sadly, "I know."

Toni just watched Cheryl's face fall more than it already had, her brown eyes cast downward yet again. "I've got some photos to develop, so I'll be in the dark room before first period tomorrow," her tone picked up a bit in offering, hoping that Cheryl would get the hint to meet her early at school tomorrow, "Maybe you can come meet me? So I can remind you that I'm not a total monster before school starts for the week?"

"You're not a monster," Cheryl giggled, reaching up to cup her cheek, "Not after everything you did for me this weekend."

"I just don't want you to go back to hating me."

"I never hated you. As much as I wanted to sometimes, I just couldn't. I hated Sweet Pea, I hated Veronica, but I couldn't bring myself to hate you," she whispered, her eyes playing connect the dots with the light dusting of freckles on Toni's cheeks. "Just...no matter what happens at school, promise that you'll be honest with me when it's just the two of us."

Toni's chest tightened. She could be honest about her feelings for Cheryl, of course. But to be _completely_ honest? No secrets? She wasn't sure she was ready for that. She wanted to tell her the truth now, just to get it out there before things got too serious between them and it ruined everything. Was she expecting things to get serious? How would they even make that work? 

"Promise," she bit her lip, pushing her thoughts down for now as she linked pinkies with the redhead.

**xxx**

Toni dropped Cheryl off later that evening at her mailbox at the end of her long driveway. She offered to drive her to the house, but Cheryl wasn't sure if her parents were home. Around this time on a Sunday, the three of them would be gathered in a booth at one of the finest restaurants in Greendale, their heads bowed as her father said grace like he did before every family meal. But she wanted to be on the safe side, just in case they were home and waiting for her to return. She hadn't set foot in the house since Friday night.

After a quick kiss from the brunette, Cheryl grabbed her bags and walked timidly down the driveway to the house, her heart dropping just a little when she saw her father's car gone. While she was happy to not have to deal with them when she walked in the door, she was a little disheartened that they weren't home, anxiously awaiting her return like normal concerned parents would be. She doubted that they were out looking for her. They probably just kept up their Sunday tradition and went to Greendale. They didn't care about her. 

With a sigh, she unlocked the door and glanced around. No sign of any changes since she was last home, though it had only been two days. She brought her bags upstairs and flopped down onto her bed, unwrapping Toni's favorite pink scrunchie from around her wrist to bring up to her nose. She inhaled the scent of Toni's shampoo, a smile coming over her face when she thought about everything that had happened over the weekend. Every kiss, every touch, every genuine laugh they'd shared together. It had gone by way too fast, but Cheryl had high hopes that it wasn't the last time she got to spend a whole weekend alone with Toni.

**xxx**

Cheryl crept down the stairs, tip-toeing through the kitchen towards the phone. It was nearly eleven o'clock and her parents were fast asleep. She heard her father's snoring from down the hall as she lied awake in her bed. Sneaking towards the phone, she picked it up and dialed Toni's number before she ducked into the pantry, closing the coiled cord in the door frame as she shut herself in and sat on the floor.

 _"Topaz,"_ Toni's voice brought her so much comfort now, even through the phone. 

"Hi," she whispered, smiling to herself, "It's Cheryl."

_"Hey, you. You okay?"_

"Yeah, I just...wanted to say goodnight. And thank you again for this weekend. You didn't have to do all that for me."

_"Well what if I wanted to?"_

"Then I guess I'm pretty lucky to have you," Cheryl smirked, picking at the pilled flannel of her pajama pants. 

_"How'd everything go with your parents? Were they home?"_ Toni asked after chuckling at Cheryl's comment.

"No, but they got home around eight. They were...happy to see me. My dad kissed my cheek and apologized for everything. He's never apologized for hurting me before," she whispered, twirling the phone cord around her finger. Her father hadn't even apologized for breaking her arm when she was ten.

_"That's weird. Maybe he just wants to keep you quiet."_

"Probably."

_"I'm glad you're safe, though. I was worried."_

The redhead bit her lip, blushing at her words. Toni was worried about her. Toni was thinking about her. "I'm okay. I promise."

_"Good."_

"I should go to bed, though. Thank you again for everything."

_"Don't mention it. I'll see you at school tomorrow."_

"Bright and early," she nodded with a small grin, "Goodnight."

_"Night, babe,"_ she could hear the smile in Toni's voice before the line went dead, leaving her sitting there reeling on the pantry floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else still crying over those pics of madelaine from the flashback episode? because same.

**Monday**

Night had never moved slower. Most of the time, nights flew by too fast, making it seem like barely time passed between school days. But last night seemed to last forever. After tossing and turning until midnight, Cheryl woke up every hour on the hour, groaning at the amount of time she still had before she had to get ready for school. Never had she been so excited to go to school. And really, she wasn't even looking forward to school. If she could meet up with Toni in the dark room and then come back home to sleep, she would be perfectly content.

She didn't know how early was too early. Both times she had run into Toni in the dark room, it seemed like she had been there for a while. She wanted to get there early enough to spend time with her, but then again, she didn't want to seem too eager. With a sigh, she wrapped Toni's pink scrunchie around her hair, letting it flow down over one shoulder in a low side ponytail. A simple white t-shirt and navy cardigan topped her regular boot cut jeans. She just wished she had the confidence to wear something different for a change. 

After applying concealer like Toni had shown her yesterday, she grabbed a poptart and ate it on the way to school, trying her hardest not to speed down the road. But she managed to make it to school in record time, parking in her usual spot a few rows down from Toni's Corolla. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and made her way in the side entrance, nearly tripping over her own feet as she rushed up the stairs to the photography lab. 

The light in the classroom was dimmed. Toni was in there waiting for her. Cheryl felt her heart start to beat faster as she opened the door, closing it behind her and dropping her backpack at one of the desks. Approaching the door to the small dark room, she knocked quietly and let herself in, her lips immediately spreading into a big smile when she found Toni inside. 

"You weren't kidding when you said bright and early," the brunette chuckled, hanging a print up on the wire. 

"I was excited to see you," Cheryl admitted shyly, the dark red lighting of the room hiding the tint of pink that showed through her makeup. Toni just smirked and wiped her hands off on a paper towel, crossing the short distance between them to place her hands on Cheryl's slim waist and press her lips to hers. The redhead's breath hitched in her throat as she instinctively wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck, holding her close. Part of her truly didn't believe that she'd ever get to kiss Toni again after the past weekend. 

"You're cute," Toni pulled back with a scrunched up nose, briefly stroking Cheryl's good cheek with her thumb before she went back to what she was doing. Cheryl followed her like a puppy, finally getting a closer look at the process. 

"What do you take pictures of?" she asked quietly, her eyes glancing around the dimly lit room. She realized that she hadn't even asked her about her photography all weekend.

"Anything," the brunette shrugged, "Anything I find beauty in, really, whether it's a sunset or footprints in the snow. I'm not really picky."

"Wow," Cheryl's heart thumped faster in her chest, "The ones around your room are beautiful."

"Snooping around my bedroom, Blossom?" Toni nudged her playfully.

"You invited me in there," she smirked, looking over at her.

The brunette just laughed a little, hanging up her last print before starting to clean up so Mr. Clemmons didn't yell at her for leaving a mess _again_. Cheryl bit her lip, fiddling with the buttons on her cardigan. Her whole body felt like pins and needles. She just wanted to lock the door and stay in here with Toni for the rest of the day. She was starting to realize that no day would ever compare to this past weekend. 

"How were your parents this morning?" 

"I didn't talk to them. They were still getting ready for the day when I left.

"You know you can call me if they start to go berserk on you again, right?" Toni turned her body to face her, one hand resting on the table while the other was propped on her hip.

"Mmhm. Thank you," Cheryl nodded with a large smile she tried to bite back, leaning in to kiss her gently. She lingered a bit longer than she expected, wanting to go the rest of the day with the feeling of Toni's lips on hers. Her cherry Lip Smackers blended with the deep pink lipstick Toni wore, adding just a touch of color to her own lips, not that it could be seen in the dark room. They broke apart at the sound of the classroom door closing from outside the small studio. Their time together this morning already coming to an end. It was entirely too short, and Cheryl knew that the school day was going to drag. 

"I'll see you in gym?" Toni pecked her lips once more, twirling some of the red hair from her ponytail around her tanned finger with a hopeful grin.

"Okay," Cheryl nodded, her eyelids fluttering back open to meet Toni's gaze before the brunette turned around to grab her backpack. 

"Hey, girls. Betty's got you really working hard for the paper, huh?" Mr. Clemmons came into the dark room with an oblivious smile.

"She's really busting our balls, Mr. C," Toni chuckled, lifting her backpack to her shoulder. Cheryl tried her hardest to remain as nonchalant as the brunette, but she just found herself just nervously laughing before following the confident Toni out of the dark room.

**Tuesday**

"This is so _boring_ ," Toni mumbled, doodling on the blank notebook in her hands., "This is more up Archie's alley, why isn't he here?"

"He _is_ here," Cheryl giggled as they walked around the science fair in the gymnasium, taking notes and pictures of the presentations on each table. "He just can't exactly write about himself. I'm sure Betty just wanted an unbiased opinion, and you were the clear choice for that."

"Lucky me," Toni rolled her eyes.

"Are you saying you're not happy to be here with me?" the redhead pouted at her, though a playful smirk was obviously behind it. 

"Oh my god, shut up," she mumbled, ducking her head and blushing. 

Cheryl Blossom made Toni Topaz _**blush**_. She felt like she'd just won a gold medal or something, suddenly wanting to take advantage of her newfound power. She was going to continue to tease her when she heard a round of familiar, cruel laughter from behind them. 

"Hey, losers," Cheryl suddenly stiffened at the sound of Josie's voice, turning around with Toni to face the small gaggle of Vixens behind them, apparently just coming inside from the field after practice, "Oh, Toni, the _science fair_? Have you really stooped _this_ low?"

"Oh hey, Josie! I didn't recognize you without your head up Veronica's ass," Toni gave the new co-captain the sweetest fake smile she could muster. Cheryl had to hold back her laughter, keeping her head down and her face hidden under Jason's baseball cap. "Shame she's out sick today, but I'm glad to see you still managed to somehow find your way around school without anyone's help."

"You're the one hanging out with a bunch of nerds at the science fair. I'd say you're the one who's lost," Josie quirked an eyebrow, earning a mumble of laughter from the cheerleaders behind her. 

Toni took the camera from Cheryl, snapping a picture of the group of girls in uniform before handing it back to the redhead, picking up her notebook. "And the most surprising part of the science fair was _not_ Dilton Doiley's malfunctioning volcano explosion, but the appearance of Josie McCoy and several other River Vixens, pictured above," she spoke out loud, jotting the words down on the lined paper, eyeing Josie almost menacingly while Cheryl glanced back and forth between the two. "Miss McCoy even seemed to be _particularly_ interested in Chuck Clayton's presentation about the future of cellular technology. More about that in the gossip column," the brunette continued to read her notes out loud as she wrote them, that signature smirk on her face as she did so. 

"You wouldn't dare," Josie shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Wouldn't I? I think we both know what I'm capable of, Josie," Toni tilted her head with a smile, "So unless you want the whole school to know that a certain Bill Gates wannabe was your first kiss back in fifth grade, I suggest you and the rest of your mindless followers get the hell out of here."

Cheryl watched the little stare-down between the two, frozen and unsure of what to do. But she watched as Josie snapped her fingers, making the rest of the girls straighten up and follow her to the door like a pack of dogs. 

"God, tell me I was never _that_ bad," Toni rolled her eyes, turning back to the stunned redhead. 

"You were pretty mean, I guess, but you were never that much of a diva about it," Cheryl giggled a bit nervously, fiddling with the camera, "But you never had anyone put you in your place like you just did to Josie either."

"I've got more dirt on her than her own diary. She should know better than to come at me like that," Toni sighed, turning back around so they could continue to walk around the science fair. "But anyways, what were we talking about before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"You were blushing when I accused you of not being happy to be here with me," the younger girl smirked, though she blushed as well, looking sheepishly down at her feet.

"The blushing part stays between us, but yeah, I'd much rather be here with you than the blonde newspaper nazi herself," Toni chuckled, nudging her shoulder as they walked around.

**Wednesday**

Cheryl bit her lip as she walked through the halls early before first period. Most students weren't there yet which was a relief. She didn't exactly want an audience for this. She held tightly to the folded piece of paper in her hands, Toni's name written on it in swirly red ink. It wasn't much. Just an invitation to meet up with her on the bleachers after school. She knew that the cold weather would have the Vixens and the football team practicing inside today, so the field would be empty. She approached the locker that was decorated in Bulldogs and Vixens stickers and took a deep breath, slipping the little folded paper through the vent before walking away with a giddy little smile. She hadn't even gotten an answer yet, but she was so excited.

Toni had barely made eye contact with her during gym or lunch. She was starting to wonder if she'd seen her note. Maybe she didn't want to meet up with her. Or worse, she'd slipped it into the wrong locker. During study hall, she loaned Toni a pencil like she always did, still doing it so they had an excuse to talk, but Toni didn't seem to give her any kind of hint that she had gotten her note, and Cheryl was really starting to worry. 

She watched as the brunette got up from her desk, moving to the back of the classroom to sharpen her pencil. Cheryl watched her from the corner of her eye and bit her lip, her heart falling a little. But she felt something drop in her lap just as Toni was walking back past her, finding a little folded up piece of notebook paper on top of her denim overalls. Toni didn't acknowledge her. She just sat back down in her seat and continued her work, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Biting her lip harder, she glanced around the class, making sure no one was even looking in her direction before carefully unfolding the paper, grimacing each time it made too much noise. But eventually she got it unfolded, biting her lip even harder as she read over Toni's scratchy writing.

_Better dress warm, Blossom. It's cold out there xx_

Her lips pressed together in a straight line as she looked at the little doodles around the paper. Hearts and smiley faces littered the page around the written message and Cheryl knew that this was a positive response to her invitation. 

She took her time getting to the field after study hall. Toni may have been able to go through the gym where the Vixens were practicing, but Cheryl felt safer going around the outside of the building. It was pretty cold, considering they were nearing the end of October. But she bundled up in her pastel puffy coat as she rounded the brick building, heading straight for the football field. She stood at the bottom corner of the bleachers, searching for Toni in the empty metal rows, but didn't see her anywhere.

"A girl could freeze out here waiting for you."

She flinched a bit in surprise, turning around to see the person she'd been looking for as her hand came up to cover her suddenly pounding heart. "You scared me," she breathed out a giggle, a fog of her own breath clouding in front of her face. 

"Sorry," Toni smirked, kissing her slowly, "How's your cheek doing?" Aside from Monday morning, this was the first moment they had alone since the weekend. 

"It's starting to feel better, but the color is still there," Cheryl mumbled against her lips before Toni lead her by the hand to the top row of the bleachers, plopping down in the very middle. "I was worried you didn't get my note. I started to think I put it in the wrong locker," Cheryl admitted with a little chuckle, shyly tucking her hair behind her cold, red ears. 

"Sorry, I was trying to not be obvious. And I knew that if I even looked at you today, it would've definitely been obvious," Toni chuckled, scooting closer to her for warmth. 

Cheryl just giggled and let the brunette pull her legs over her lap. It was scary to be doing this, getting so close with Toni out in the open at school where anyone who came out onto the field could see them. But she wasn't as scared as she thought she would be. She felt safe with her and the feeling of her arms around her made all her worries melt away. 

"I can't stay too long, but I just wanted to see you," the younger girl whispered, laying her head down against Toni's shoulder. 

"Ugh, you're just..." 

"What?" she picked her head up, worried she had said something wrong.

"You're seriously just...so fucking _cute_ , I don't even know how else to put it," Toni chuckled, making Cheryl blush once again, "Seriously, if your face wasn't bruised, I'd be pinching your cheeks right now."

"Stop," the redhead bit her lip and nudged her gently, hiding her face in her Chanel scented neck. 

"I mean it, prepare for a serious cheek pinching when your bruises are gone," Toni poked her sides gently through her puffy coat, making her giggle even more before pulling back so she could capture her lips with her own, Cheryl's giggles fading away quickly.

**Thursday**

During lunch, she sat with Betty and Archie as usual, eating her turkey sandwich and chips while occasionally looking over at Toni. The brunette had been giving her subtle little glances every now and then. With a crowd of popular kids around her, it wasn't as easy for her to look over at Cheryl. But with Archie and Betty focusing on their homework beside her, it was easy for Cheryl's gaze to linger.

"Incoming," Betty cleared her throat, staring down at her food as Toni made her way over, doing her usual 'head bitch' walk with her hips swinging from side to side. She looked pissed, and Cheryl wasn't sure if her quickening heart rate was from fear or excitement. 

Toni rounded the table and stood behind her, leaning down on the edge beside Cheryl, staring her down. "What have I told you about staring, Blossom?" her voice was low and it sent shivers down the redhead's spine as she looked down at her sandwich, "Just cause we have to work together on the paper doesn't mean we're friends."

"Toni, why don't you just leave her alone, for once," Betty spoke up bravely, making the two girls look at her like she had lost her mind.

"Betty-"

"No, she's right. But I've said it before, I'll say it again. Take a picture, it'll last longer. I know you know how to use a camera," she placed a hand on Cheryl's back to hoist herself back up from her leaned over position. Her fingers subtly grazing down the back of her striped sweater as she sauntered away, back to her table.

"So much for her not being the queen bee anymore," Betty shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she nodded, flicking her tongue out over her dry lips. Once the blonde's attention was back on her homework, Cheryl glanced back over in Toni's direction, a blush coming to her cheeks when the older girl winked at her from across the cafeteria.

**Friday**

They were _supposed_ to be watching the football game. Toni was supposed to be taking pictures while Cheryl wrote about the game. But Betty was going to be disappointed, because the game was nearly over and they had nothing. But judging by the amount of loud cheers that erupted above their heads every few minutes, they could only assume that the Bulldogs were winning. They were deep under the bleachers, popcorn and dirt from people's shoes falling all around them, but they couldn't be bothered. They weren't exactly alone, but they were together, and being together was what they both wanted most.

"Betty's gonna kill us," Cheryl giggled against Toni's lips, her hands holding her close from the back of her neck. 

"She'll get over it," the brunette smirked, "She needs to loosen up her ponytail." Her lips moved down to Cheryl's neck and jaw, making her giggle even more. She was still new to all this and she had a bad habit of laughing when she was nervous. But Toni eased her through it, being slow and gentle with her as she got comfortable with it all. 

Humming quietly against the shell of Toni's hear, Cheryl scraped her short nails against the base of her hairline. She felt more alive than she ever had as her body lit up with something she'd never felt before. It was kind of like what she had felt when she had caught the brunette in the locker room with Veronica, only much more intense. That knot in her stomach was back and she squirmed against Toni's hands, unconsciously letting out a little whimper when her lips came back up to meet hers. 

The brunette just smirked, squeezing Cheryl's sides reassuringly as her tongue slowly darted out to meet hers. She could feel her tense up, but the comforting hold she had on her had her melting into her touch once again, following her lead. Even if she hadn't gotten to know her over last weekend, she had a feeling that Cheryl was inexperienced in just about everything. But she was quite the fast learner. 

"Listen," she pulled back, though Cheryl distractedly moved her kisses down to her neck, "Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"Mm-mm," the mousy redhead just mumbled against Toni's neck, shaking her head. She was just now gaining the confidence she had craved for so long, she wasn't about to stop so soon.

"Would you maybe wanna go somewhere with me?"

That got her attention. She pulled her head back slowly and pushed her glasses up her nose in curiosity as she caught her breath. "Really?" She bit her lip to keep from smiling too much at Toni's nod, "Where do you wanna go?"

"Maybe that's for me to know and you to find out," Toni grinned slyly, squeezing her sides through her jacket again, "I can pick you up tomorrow around seven?"

Cheryl bit her lip a little harder, trying her very hardest to keep her smile from taking over her entire face. "Are you...asking me on a date?"

"Do you _want_ it to be a date?" Toni chuckled a little at her eager nod, unable to resist kissing her again, "Then it's a date." The younger girl just giggled excitedly, kissing her again and again as she hugged Toni tightly around the neck, making the brunette laugh out loud. "Come on, cutie, we should go do what we came here to do," she said through her laughter, kissing the sudden pout off of Cheryl's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy riverdale watching tonight!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i present to you: a long chapter with a lot of soft shit

_"Dress comfortable,"_ was the only hint Toni had given her about their date tonight. But how comfortable was _too_ comfortable? Would it be appropriate to wear sweatpants and a large hoodie? Or would it be better to wear jeans? Cheryl scratched the back of her head as she stood in front of her closet. She didn't exactly have much of a selection. A lot of her clothes were just basics. No bold colors, no crazy patterns. Just solid colors in hushed tones or pastels. 

She sighed at one of her pink sweaters. It had kittens on it. Last time she wore that, Toni made fun of her in Spanish class. But she hadn't really meant it, right? She shook the thought and moved through her clothes again. Maybe she'd be okay with a Riverdale High crew neck and some leggings. Wearing big tops over leggings was in fashion now, according to some magazines she read at Betty's house. Plus, it was cold outside, so maybe she'd be better off. Not to mention her cover for tonight was that she was going to Betty's for a movie night. She'd already told her parents and they seemed to buy it.

After pulling the large sweatshirt over her head, she brushed out her hair, looking at her reflection in her vanity mirror. Part of her wanted to wear Jason's cap, but she needed to be brave on her own. She didn't need her brother's spirit with her on her first date. She knew that he was proud of her anyways. Running the brush through again, she pulled the top half of her red hair up into Toni's pink scrunchie, smoothing down any fly-aways. The hairstyle wasn't nearly as teased up and fashionable as it was when Toni usually wore it, but she made it work for herself. 

The bruise on her cheek was fading only slightly. Toni hadn't seen it since Sunday, since Cheryl had been wearing makeup every day to school. She wondered if she should even bother hiding it? It's not like the brunette didn't know what happened to her. Regardless, she covered up the bruise gently. She didn't want it to be the only thing Toni saw when she looked at her. 

_"She's only doing all this because she feels sorry for you,"_ that evil voice in her head came out again, and she tried her hardest to ignore it. She didn't want anything to ruin her night. This was her first official date, she wanted it to be perfect. 

"Mommy, Daddy, I'm going to Betty's," she walked into the kitchen, speaking timidly. She'd very rarely lied to her parents before. But junior year was changing everything.

"Have a good time," her mother mumbled without even looking up from her task of drying dishes while her father nursed a scotch at the table.

"Just remember your curfew. You need your rest for church tomorrow," Clifford deadpanned. He'd already told her that her punishment for missing church last Sunday was praying for forgiveness while cleaning around the chapel until it was spotless, even if it took all day. 

"Yes, sir," she nodded, moving into the kitchen to hesitantly kiss their cheeks goodbye before pausing in the foyer to glance at the portrait of Jason by the door. "Wish me luck, Jay Jay," she whispered, kissing her fingers and pressing them to the portrait like she did almost day. Grabbing her keys from the hook, she walked out to her car, making her way to the high school. She told Toni it would probably be safer if they met up at school before going to wherever she was taking her. 

A smile formed on her face when she spotting Toni's car in the parking lot and she pulled up beside her, looking over at her through the window. Getting out, she locked her own car and opened Toni's passenger side door, immediately leaning over the center console for an admittedly eager kiss after sitting down. 

"Happy to see me or something?" Toni giggled into the kiss, feeling Cheryl nod her head against her lips, "Well, don't get too excited, we're not going anywhere super cool."

"I don't mind where we go," Cheryl shook her head, biting her lip through her wide smile before pecking her lips one more time, "But I'm still excited."

"Just don't get your hopes up," the brunette chuckled, putting the car in drive and swerving around towards the exit of the campus parking lot.

"Can I have a hint?"

"I already gave you a hint," Toni smirked over at her. 

"Can I get _another_ hint?" Cheryl put on her best pleading pout, her hands folded under her chin. She was starting to learn that Toni was a sucker for her pouting.

But she just shook her head with her lips still holding the same smirk as she watched the road, "Not gonna work this time. You'll find out in like, fifteen minutes." 

"You're no fun," she giggled, leaning back in her seat, looking out the window to try to figure out what direction they were headed in.

"Guess I should turn the car around and cut this date short then."

"No! No, I was just kidding," Cheryl turned in her seat to face her again, still in a fit of giggles as she leaned over to kiss her cheek at a stop light, "You're lots of fun."

She hardly recognized herself when she was with Toni. She was bold and brave, doing things she never thought she would have the courage to do. Compared to last month, she was like a completely different person around her. Last month, she was a stuttering, nervous wreck in her presence. And now, here she was laughing with her and kissing her like it was second nature. 

She held Toni's hand in both of hers, only letting go so the brunette could shift gears every so often. But she reclaimed her tanned fingers with her own, fiddling with the simple rings that decorated them as she looked out the window. 

_**Sweetwater River 5 miles** _

Her eyebrows perked up a bit at the sign, turning to Toni once again. "Are we going to Sweetwater River?"

"Maybe."

She looked back out the window, smiling a little to herself. She wasn't exactly sure what they would be doing at the river. Hopefully not swimming, considering how cold it was outside and the fact that neither of them seemed dressed for such an activity. She'd never been on a date before. She'd only seen them in movies. And this wasn't the traditional dinner and a movie date that Betty had gone on once back in freshman year. 

The closer they got, the more nervous Cheryl became. Toni must have sensed her nerves, since she squeezed her hand reassuringly and sent her a bit of a smile. "Almost there," the brunette murmured, turning to face the road again. 

It wasn't too long before they were approaching the small parking lot for the little beach by the river's edge. But Cheryl's eyes widened when Toni didn't pull into a spot, but instead drove the car over the grass and onto the sandy beach, coming to a stop a few feet from the shore. 

"What are we-" she started, but Toni had already gotten out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition as Cheryl watched her, confused. 

"Face the river, stop trying to ruin my surprises," Toni chuckled, opening one of the backseat doors, and as curious as she was, Cheryl obeyed, watching the small waves hit the shore, illuminated by the slowly setting sun while Toni shuffled around in the back seat. She was tempted to turn around and sneak a peek, but Toni wanted it to be a surprise, so she could wait a few more minutes. She loved surprises, she just hated waiting for them. 

Toni shuffled around in the back seat for a few more minutes before exiting out one of the back doors again, opening the passenger side door to usher Cheryl out of her seat. "Okay I know this is lame, but close your eyes," Toni instructed, watching as the redhead did as she asked. She carefully helped her into the back seat, making sure she was settled before sliding in beside her, closing the door. "Okay, open."

Cheryl blinked her eyes open in the dim sunset lighting. Nothing had changed much. The backseat was littered with comfy pillows and warm blankets. Two milkshakes from Pop's sat in the cup holders pulled back from the center console and Toni was in the process of unpacking a bag of food between them after turning off the engine. "Figured we couldn't exactly go to Pop's, but this is comfier and more private than a diner booth," the brunette shrugged, pushing the front seats forward so they could stretch their legs out, The milkshakes might be a little melted by now." 

Cheryl watched in a bit of awe as Toni unpacked a bunch of food from the brown bag, everything around them tinted an orange hue from the sunset. "You did all this?" she asked quietly, biting her lip. Sure, this wasn't the normal dinner and a movie date she'd always assumed would be what she did on a first date. This was already so much better, and the night had just gotten started. 

"It's not much, but it's the only thing I could think of that didn't involve just hanging out at my place," Toni chuckled a little, kicking her feet up against the back of the passenger seat and leaning back with her little bag of fries.

"No, this is perfect," Cheryl's voice was barely above a whisper.

"You're easy to please."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, not at all. It's actually refreshing. People nowadays seem to try to hard with everything. Like what's wrong with just hanging out?" Toni nibbled on a fry, "I mean, going to a fancy dinner and a movie would be nice, I'm sure, but not everyone's got the dough for that."

"I mean, that's what I think of when I would imagine a date," Cheryl admitted, "But that's so...normal. We're not exactly normal," she grinned shyly as she reached for her own little bag of fries, giggling a little at Toni's laugh. They ate quietly, the new song "Wonderwall" playing through the radio. The car was still warm from the heat, and with the sun setting even more over the tall pine trees, the light in the car was getting dimmer. 

"Okay, not that I wanted to, but last weekend I couldn't get you to shut up. Why are you being so quiet?" Toni reached over to poke her side playfully. 

Cheryl blushed, realizing that she _had_ been pretty quiet. "Sorry, it's just...strange. Last weekend you were rescuing me from my parents...just being a good friend. And now we're on a date, it's just...strange," she repeated herself, rubbing her palms against her sweatshirt and avoiding eye contact with the brunette, "Not that I'm not happy, it just feels too good to be true, I guess. Like I'm gonna wake up any minute."

Toni just stared at her from across the back seat, placing the food between them up onto the rear deck before scooting closer to the redhead. She cupped her good cheek in her palm and pressed her lips softly against hers, shivering a bit when Cheryl's trembling fingers came up to graze lightly against the sides of her neck, holding her close. "It's real...okay? I promise," she whispered, keeping their foreheads pressed together as Cheryl nodded silently, her tongue flicking out against her pink lips with a shaky breath. Toni kissed her again, melting her worries all away as she was pulled closer. 

Cheryl stiffened just a bit when Toni's tongue ran along her bottom lip like it had last night at the football game. It was such a new feeling, but she liked it. And she found herself craving more of it as her lips parted, her own tongue sliding against hers. Her mind was clouding more and more by the second. She couldn't shake her father's voice from her head, calling her deviant and worthless, an embarrassment to the family. His deep, angry voice made her want to pull away and ask Toni to take her home. He would be furious if he knew where she was and what she was doing. He'd be furious about her kissing _any_ girl in the back seat of a car, but the fact that it was Toni? A shiver ran down her spine at just the thought of what he would do. But she didn't want him or her fears to control her anymore. At least for tonight, she wanted to do what she wanted. And tonight, she wanted to spend time with Toni without feeling scared or guilty about it. 

She leaned further in timidly, going with her gut as she kissed her harder. Toni's eyebrows raised to her hairline, though she certainly wasn't disappointed. She shifted closer in the small space of the back seat, settling herself in a straddle over Cheryl's lap. The younger girl whimpered quietly against her lips, fisting the material of her thick yellow hoodie in her hands and tugging her closer. Her head was spinning and she couldn't focus on anything but the feeling of Toni's lips on hers and the weight of her in her lap. The kisses they shared were dizzying, leaving Cheryl seeing spots when brown eyes met brown after Toni pulled back.

"This okay?" the brunette panted, running her tongue over her lips, tasting the familiar cherry flavored lip balm before Cheryl just nodded and leaned up to kiss her again. Toni had kissed plenty of people before. People with lots of experience and people with none. But something about Cheryl made her feel different. The younger girl was either a natural at kissing or she wasn't nearly as innocent as she let on. The way her fingers gripped at her hips, pulling her closer and harder against her would lead her to believe that she knew exactly what she was doing. Smirking against her lips, Toni lifted herself up enough so she could ease Cheryl down to lay against the bench seat without breaking the kiss, red hair splayed out beneath them against one of the fluffy pillows. 

Cheryl felt like all her senses were on overdrive. The smell of Toni's perfume mixed with the taste and feeling of her tongue dragging eagerly against her own was sending her into a spiral. But she followed Toni's lead as always, an involuntary hum of contentment escaping her lips. It was breathy and light, mirroring exactly how she felt inside. Her Nana had told her about this feeling before when she was a child. She sat on her beloved Nana Rose's lap as she told her the story of how she met Grandpappy Blossom. And how when she was with him, she felt the same feeling as when you submerged yourself to the very bottom of a pool and let yourself just float to the surface. Weightless. And the summer after that conversation, Cheryl spent as much time in their pool as possible, swimming to the very bottom and letting herself drift to the top.

It was exactly what she was feeling now. Weightless but surrounded by weight. Toni's weight on top of her, the cushy but solid mass of car seat beneath her, despite her surroundings, Cheryl felt like she was at the bottom of the pool, slowly floating up and up and the surface was nowhere in sight. "Toni," she gasped when the brunette moved her kisses to her neck, feeling her cold, slim fingers reach under her crew neck, brushing against the hot skin of her sides. The knot in her stomach was back. It was tied so tightly, creating even more tension within her than ever before. She panted quietly, staring up at the padded ceiling of the car before her eyes fluttered closed again. Her hips writhed a bit unconsciously, bucking up to meet Toni's above her, desperate to untie the seemingly permanent knot in her. 

She could barely hear Toni's giggle muffled in her neck. All she could hear was her own heartbeat thumping madly in her flushed, waterlogged ears, and the voices in her own head. They were starting to sound like her father again. His gruff, angry voice calling her names while the image of her mother just standing nearby with no remorse or sympathy flooded her brain. They would be so disappointed in her right now.

"S-stop...please," she whispered, her hands moving from the back of Toni's neck to her collarbone, trying to gently push her away, "Stop."

Toni pulled back from her spot nuzzled in her neck, looking down at Cheryl as a tear slipped down the side of her pale face. She almost didn't see it with how dark it had gotten outside in such a short amount of time. The sky was a dark shade of blue everywhere except for the one little corner where the sun had been setting. "Hey, what's the matter?" she asked, concerned as she sat up, pulling Cheryl up with her. She let the broken redhead lean against her, rubbing her back slowly with soothing words of comfort. "It's okay, I'm sorry, I was going too fast," she whispered.

"N-no, I'm sorry. I just...m-my-" Cheryl stammered a bit, going to pull back to look at her, but just the very mention of her parents sent her crumbling once again. Why was she so _weak_? Why did she always let her parents control her life? They were miles away and they still managed to destroy her happiness.

Toni 'shh'ed her quietly, adjusting in the small space so she could lean back against the pillows with Cheryl practically on top of her, still rubbing her back

"C-can you do what you were doing before?" she asked timidly, sniffling against her shoulder.

"What?"

The redhead moved a trembling hand to reach for Toni's, guiding it up under her heavy crew neck so her fingers were against her side, finding that she missed the feeling of her fingers on her bare skin. Though now, it was bringing her comfort rather than exciting her. She shivered with a shaky sigh when Toni stroked her thumb along her warm skin, her polished fingernails gently grazing against the sudden rise of goose bumps. "Thank you," she whispered, tucking her head against her shoulder again and pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Toni just pressed a slow kiss to her lips in response, rubbing her side gently.

"Sorry I was taking things too far. I'm kinda used to people just...wanting to go as far as possible on the first date," the brunette mumbled, resting her head on top of hers. She was finding that she cared much more about this girl than she originally thought. And it scared her just a little bit.

"Is...that what people normally do on a first date?" 

"Depends on who you ask. It's not entirely normal, I guess."

"Is it normal for you?" she picked her head up curiously.

"Yeah. I mean, I've only ever gone out on dates with guys, but usually all they're looking for is sex."

"I thought you were...um..."

"What? A lesbian?" Toni asked, chuckling a little at Cheryl's shy nod, "I'm bisexual. I prefer girls, but you know how it is at school. I'd be burned at the stake if everyone found out about it. So that's where Sweet Pea came in. And Reggie, and a couple other guys."

Cheryl swallowed hard, embarrassed by her own lack of dating history. She had no idea what Toni wanted with her if she had been with a bunch of boys before. Though, her stomach did a flip at the reminder that she was Toni's first date with a girl. She was the lucky one, though she still had no idea what she was doing here. "I'm sorry..."

"What are you sorry for?" Toni's perfectly shaped eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"I'm just not...I'm not really ready for that," Cheryl lifted herself up off of Toni, placing herself on the opposite side of the bench again. 

"What, are you waiting til marriage or something?" Toni smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I actually don't like the idea of waiting til marriage," Cheryl tucked hair behind her ear shyly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, what if you marry someone and they're just...not what you expected?"

"You mean like if you're on your honeymoon and it turns out the guy doesn't even have a dick?"

Cheryl's jaw slacked as she erupted in a fit of laughter, making Toni do the same. The small car with fogged up windows was now filled with hearty laughter as the girls both found it hard to stop. The mood in the darkened car had changed so suddenly yet again but that was how things seemed to be with them. They could be in the middle of a serious conversation one minute and then double over with laughter a second later. They both loved how natural it seemed. Nothing was forced between them.

"Sorry, but I mean seriously, what would happen if you marry a guy and then find out that he looks like a Ken doll under his jeans Like, no genitals whatsoever? Or he turns out to be a total asshole the second you marry him?" Toni laughed harder at the image, making Cheryl nearly lose her breath from her own incessant laughter. "What would you do?" she asked, her laughter calming down a bit as she handed Cheryl a flashlight, turning on her own so they could see a little better.

"I don't know, that's why I don't like the idea of waiting til marriage," the redhead giggled, shining her flashlight on Toni's smiling face. 

"But say you _did_ and that happened. What would you do? Would you divorce the guy or just make it work?"

"Depends on how much I loved him, I guess," she shrugged with a smile as her laughter slowly faded, "But I would hope that he would have told me about the fact that he didn't have a dick before we got married, though."

"I can't believe Cheryl Blossom just said 'dick'. I wish I had a camcorder," Toni chuckled, "No one will ever believe me."  
Cheryl just blushed and ducked her head, embarrassed as a few more giggles taking over her body. Toni reached up for the food, taking a bite out of a cold chicken strip before sipping at her melted chocolate shake. As usual, Cheryl followed her lead, quietly chewing as the radio played a few classics from the 80s. 

"I think you're pretty smart," Toni said out of nowhere, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"What?"

"The whole not waiting til marriage thing. I mean, people can do what they want, obviously, but I think that's a smart way to look at it."

Cheryl just shrugged her shoulders, "I just want to make sure that the person I marry is going to be able to be someone that I can stay with and be happy with. There's so many older people in church that are just so unhappy in their marriages, and I don't want to end up like them."

"You're not really into the whole church thing, huh?" Toni furrowed her brows curiously.

"Not as much as people think I would be. I used to be really into it, but as I got older I started to realize that it wasn't what everyone thinks it is. Just knowing some of the things that go on behind the scenes, I can't bring myself to be the devout pastor's daughter everyone thinks I am. I have my beliefs, but obviously they don't exactly match my parents'."

"Obviously," Toni chuckled, sipping her shake again before putting it back in the cup holder, "But good to know."

Cheryl nodded with a little blush, looking over at the digital clock above the radio dials. It was already eight and she had to be back home in two hours. She wished she could stay here with Toni all night, even if it was getting cold in the car. "I hate having such an early curfew," she sighed.

"I hate you having such an early curfew too," Toni smirked, sitting up in her seat to take off her Doc Martens, "Come on."

"What?"

"Come on," she repeated a bit more eagerly, untying her shoes and leaving them on the floor, getting out of the car.

"Where are we going?"

"Just come on. Trust me."

She bit her lip at those words. She was still scared to trust Toni. What if she got hurt? What if Toni outed her to the whole school? What if this was all some major, elaborate scheme to ruin her life?

She pushed those thoughts down and slipped off her sneakers, stepping onto the cool sand with her bare feet once she left the car, watching as Toni came around to her side, stripping off her acid wash jeans and peeling them down her legs. 

"Um..."

"Oh come on, we see each other in the locker room all the time. It's just like wearing a bathing suit," Toni folded her arms over her hoodie, "It's not like we're going skinny dipping. That's more of a summer activity."

Cheryl's heart beat faster at the smirk that played on Toni's face as she added that last bit, reaching under her crew neck for the waistband of her leggings and slowly tugging them down until her legs were exposed to the cool fall air. "Are you gonna tell me what we're doing?" she asked, grateful that her sweatshirt was long enough to cover everything above her upper thighs. Her choice in lingerie wasn't nearly as fancy and womanly as Toni's. 

"Didn't I just tell you to trust me?" the brunette laughed, taking her hand and leading her down to the water, the sand under their feet getting colder the closer they got. Toni went first, bravely stepping right into the cold water of the river, gently tugging Cheryl along until her pale feet were submerged in the icy cold water.

"So, I've got a question for you," Toni's voice shook a bit as she shivered, still holding Cheryl's hand as they stepped around, shin deep in the river.

"Okay," the redhead could feel her whole body shivering. What was the point of this? Though, she was learning that with Toni, sometimes she did things for a reason, but the reason wasn't known until later on. 

"So obviously people at school suck. Myself included sometimes," she started, "And they'd all shit their pants if they knew anything, but...if you're up for it, would you wanna...maybe make whatever this is between us something more official?"

"What are you trying to say?" Cheryl shivered, her teeth starting to chatter.

"I'm trying to ask if you'll be my girlfriend. Like, as a secret from people at school and your parents, of course, but-" Toni was cut off by Cheryl's nearly blue lips planted firmly on hers and her arms wrapped around her neck. She just giggled against her lips, feeling her body start to warm up as the younger girl pulled away to pepper kisses around her whole face. "I'll take that as a yes," she laughed as the redhead's lips pecked across the cold skin of her cheeks. 

Cheryl wrapped her arms around Toni's neck, not even feeling cold anymore as she returned her lips to hers. Toni's lips. Her _girlfriend's_ lips. "I wanna be your girlfriend," she nodded, kissing her eagerly as the small waves lapped at their bare legs, "I really, really do." The sound of Toni's melodic laughter made her heart feel like it was going to beat out of her chest. She had a girlfriend. 

They stayed like that in the shallow water for another few minutes, holding each other tightly as they floated together on a shared cloud nine. Cheryl was dumbstruck that a girl like Toni Topaz would even consider someone like her. Meanwhile Toni was thinking the same thing about her. They both thought they were the luckiest girl in the world. 

"We should go warm up so you can get home on time," Toni mumbled against her pouting lips, kissing her once more before leading her reluctantly out of the water. Cheryl held her hand tightly, not wanting to let go for even a minute. But they got back to the car and got re-dressed. Cheryl cringed at the feeling of sand from her feet up under her leggings, but she wasn't about to let it get her down. She was far too happy right now to let something so small break her spirit. 

"Do you want any more food?" Toni asked, grabbing all the take-out from Pops from the rear deck, "I think the fries are all cold by now..." Cheryl just reached back for one more chicken strip, holding it between her teeth as she pulled her shoes back on, going to sit in the passenger seat with her milkshake and one of the blankets from the back wrapped around her shoulders. 

"Next time we'll try for a Friday night. Maybe then you can be out later and you won't have to be at church bright and early," Toni smiled at her, climbing into the drivers seat.

"I'd like that," she blushed, swallowing the last bit of chicken, "Why did you take me to the water to ask me to be your girlfriend?" The word slid off her tongue so smoothly.

"I dunno, the idea just came to me. I figured if I can be brave enough to step foot in that freezing water in the middle of fall in Riverdale, I can be brave enough to ask you," Toni shrugged, starting the car up and cranking the heat up as high as it would go.

"Were you nervous to ask me or something?" Cheryl gaped a little.

"What do you expect? You're my first actual girlfriend," Toni pouted defensively, but a smile returned to her face when Cheryl leaned over to kiss her cheek.

The drive back to school was a blur of red light kisses and entwined fingers. Every night she spent with Toni, she didn't want to end. She'd rather stay with her feet frozen in Sweetwater River than go back to school on Monday and spend the whole week acting like she hated Toni. She didn't hate Toni at all. She never did. 

Pulling into the parking lot, the brunette parked her car beside Cheryl's Impala, not even getting a word in before cherry flavored lips covered hers for what felt like the hundredth time this evening. "Thank you so much for everything tonight," Cheryl whispered, pecking her way down Toni's jaw, making her just giggle in response. 

"I'll see you at school Monday," Toni murmured, kissing her once more before letting her go. It took everything she had to not pull Cheryl back into the car, tell her to ditch church tomorrow morning and just take her back to her trailer. She was in much deeper than she thought she was. She had never felt this way about anyone, and it terrified her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really have nothing to say with this update except that i love each and every one of you beautiful people.

Trying not to smile so much around her parents was one of the hardest tasks Cheryl had ever taken on. If she smiled too much, they would get suspicious. It wasn't like her to smile so often. Especially at church. She was normally so stoic, claiming that she was just remaining focused, when in reality, she was just bored out of her mind. Listening to her father preach was something she'd been doing every Sunday since she was in diapers. Up until last week, that is. Which is exactly why she was currently on her hands and knees, using a dust buster to suck up dirt and crumbs from the corners of the large chapel. She had been at this since noon when the service had ended. Four hours later and her father was still finding little imperfections around the room for her to clean. 

"When you're done dusting, you can kneel at the altar and beg for forgiveness until your mother and I are through with this meeting," Clifford stood over her, his voice firm as he spoke. 

"Yes, Daddy," Cheryl mumbled, nodding as she ran the little vacuum up the corner of the engraved wooden wall. She listened as his footsteps faded behind her before the sound of slamming doors echoed through the large empty room. Finally, she was alone. She didn't have to bite back her smile any longer. She no longer had to try to push away the memory of last night. 

She had a girlfriend. Toni was her _girlfriend_. After years of longing and confusion, it had somehow happened. She wasn't sure how or why she let it happen. She wasn't supposed to like Toni. For multiple reasons. For starters, she was a girl. She didn't even want to know what everyone would think if they found out she liked girls. Everyone already thought she was enough of a freak. Secondly, her parents despised Toni and her whole family, though she didn't know why. Around ninth grade, she'd learned to stop asking why when her father threw her to the floor and told her to stop being so nosy. And lastly, Toni had given her hell since middle school. How could she have possibly continued to have a crush on such a bully after all this time? That was what confused her most of all.

Finishing up with the dust buster, she placed it in the broom closet in the back of the chapel before doing as her father asked, kneeling at the altar. But she wasn't begging for forgiveness. If she was going to beg for anything, it was answers. She wanted to know why she was the way she was. Was she weak for falling for Toni? Why did she continue to have feelings for her after all these years? 

She found herself really praying for answers as she knelt on the carpeted steps, but all she got was the image of Toni's warm smile and the sound of her infectious laughter replaying in her head. Her cheeks were already starting to hurt from smiling. If she wasn't supposed to like Toni, how come just the thought of her made her smile so much? How come she felt butterflies in her stomach when her name popped into her head? Last night had been perfect. If it were really wrong, it wouldn't have felt so right.

"Cheryl," her mother's voice broke her from her thoughts, along with the sound of her heels tapping lightly against the carpeted aisle. 

"Yes, Mommy?"

"Come to your father's office, there's someone we'd like you to meet," her voice was stern as it had been most of the time lately. Cheryl couldn't even remember the last time her mother's voice had been soft and maternal. 

"Yes, Mommy," she mumbled, getting up and smoothing out her linen dress before following her mother up the aisle and down the hall to her father's office. She was confused, and admittedly a bit nervous.

"Here she is!" Clifford bellowed cheerily as she entered the office with her mother, who was now grinning. What was going on? "Cheryl, dear, we'd like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. St. Clair, they're going to be partnering with us and helping with finances when your nana signs over Grandpappy Blossom's maple syrup business."

"Nice to meet you," she shook their hands timidly.

"Lovely to meet you, Cheryl. This is our son Nicholas," the woman with light auburn hair smiled, turning to reveal the boy standing behind her. He was probably about her age, maybe a bit older. 

The boy took her hand and kissed her knuckles. It made her skin crawl, "Call me Nick."

Cheryl just smiled, a bit uncomfortably and glanced at her parents. They looked at her like they always did around company. Like she was their pride and joy and she could do no wrong. No one could ever see through those fake smiles. "Nice to meet you, Nick."

"Cheryl, the St. Clairs are going to be in town for the week. We thought it would be nice if you could show Nicholas around town after school," Clifford grinned.

"I-I'd love to, but I've actually got a lot going on after school this week..." It wasn't exactly a lie. But she was looking forward to spending some time with Toni after school this week. Not to mention they had a basketball game to cover for the paper on Tuesday. But the look in her mother's eyes had her cowering internally. "But I suppose I can move some things around."

"Wonderful," Penelope combed her witch-like fingers through her daughter's long hair, sending a nervous shiver down her spine. "They're going to be joining us for dinner in Greendale, so we're going to be leaving soon to go freshen up. Go along and gather your things."

With a nod, Cheryl said a quiet goodbye to the strangers in her father's office, trying to ignore the look Nick was giving her. Whatever was going through his head, she wanted no part of it.

**xxx**

"How come you're being so quiet again?" Toni asked, nibbling on a few kernels of popcorn. They were seated in the third row of bleachers behind the basketball team. Thankfully the cheering crowd around them drowned out their own voices.

"It's nothing," she muttered, shaking her head a bit.

"It's obviously something. We barely talked yesterday."

"It's just...my parents are making me go on a date with the son of their new business partners. I didn't know how to tell you," she bit her lip and looked down at her lap, toying with her pen, "They had suggested it when we were all out at dinner on Sunday, and I couldn't get out of it. You should have seen the look in my mother's eyes when I tried to get out of showing him around town all this week."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet. She wanted, so badly, to lean against Toni's shoulder and hug her and kiss her and tell her how she would much rather be spending time with her all week after school. But surrounded by their classmates here in the gymnasium, that wasn't even _close_ to being an option. 

"Don't be, I get it. How long are they in town for?" Toni asked, her voice a bit solemn.

"All week. Apparently they're flying back to New York after they have dinner with us next Sunday." 

Toni just nodded her head, snapping a quick shot of the game before putting the camera in her lap without a word. 

_"She's mad at you. Or maybe she's just relieved that she doesn't have to put up with you all week,"_ her damn inner demons were at it again, making her feel insecure and scared when she probably had no reason to be. But they just made things official, she didn't want it to get screwed up so soon. "Are you mad?" she asked, bravely looking over at her.

"No, of course not. Maybe a little jealous, but definitely not mad," Toni shrugged with a bit of a smirk.

That got a bit of a smile to tug at Cheryl's lips. "Jealous?" 

"Some guy gets to hang out with my cute girlfriend all week, why wouldn't I be?" she rolled her eyes, her voice drowned out by the halftime buzzer. 

A blush covered Cheryl's cheeks as she pushed her glasses up her nose, "I'll still see you at school," she muttered shyly as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I guess. But when this guy goes back to New York, you're all mine next Friday and Saturday," Toni smirked, leaning over to nudge her playfully.

"I'd like that a lot," she bit her lip, keeping her eyes on the court as people started to clear out of the gym for halftime, headed to the bathrooms or the concession stand. 

"Come on," Toni got up, placing the camera strap back around her neck and crumpling up her little bag of popcorn. 

"Where are we going?" a pointless question, since Cheryl was already up on her feet, ready to follow Toni anywhere.

"It's halftime. That means we don't _need_ to spent time in here," Toni looked back at her as she moved to the stairs, walking down until she was on the waxed wooden floors with Cheryl in tow. The redhead just smiled and followed, still curious about where they were going. Maybe they were going to the locker room. But that would be risky, considering the junior varsity Vixens were cheering at the game tonight. But when Toni lead her to the doors that lead to the stairs, she had a feeling that she knew exactly where they were headed. 

"What about the game?" she asked once they were alone in the stairwell.

"We'll hear who won during the morning announcements tomorrow," Toni shrugged, pushing open the doors to the second floor while her Sketchers squeaked against the tile. 

The redhead wasn't used to this. She was used to staying where she needed to be at all times, following the rules, and always being the good girl everyone expected her to be. And something as little as lying to her parents to meet up with Toni or bailing on her job as sports reporter made her feel like she could do anything. It was exciting and it lit a fire in her that she wanted to keep burning.

Walking with Toni through the halls, she bravely took her hand, imagining what it would be like if they were surrounded by their classmates right now in the middle of a school day. She walked with such confidence as Toni entwined their fingers, squeezing her hand gently. She still couldn't believe that the goddess beside her was her girlfriend. What had she done right to deserve this?

With a devious grin, Toni plucked a bobby pin from her hair to pick the lock o the door to Mr. Clemmon's photography lab, keeping the light off as they weaved between the desks to the dark room door. "How come I always end up in here with you?" Cheryl quirked an eyebrow at her, leaning back against the closed door after Toni flipped on the light switch, filling the room with dim red lighting.

"You got somewhere else you'd rather be?" her girlfriend smirked, standing directly in front of her with a playful look of accusation and her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well, your bed _would_ be more comfortable than this," she shrugged, trying to play coy as a giggle threatened to give her away.

Toni just chuckled and dropped her arms, stepping closer until she had Cheryl surrounded, her lips mere centimeters from hers, "You're a huge tease, you know that?" 

"You must like it since you asked me to be your girlfriend," her eyes trailed down to the pillowy lips in front of her, her comment not coming out as cheeky as she'd hoped. She even failed to mirror Toni's signature smirk as she felt herself becoming short of breath.

"Never said I didn't," the brunette murmured, unable to resist closing the gap between them any longer. 

Cheryl let out a little mewl of surprise. She hadn't realized how much she missed kissing Toni until her lips were back on hers. The brunette's arms were around her waist while Cheryl's fingers raked carefully through the hairs at the back of her neck. She already felt like she did on Saturday in the back seat of Toni's car, with a cloudy mind and a knot in her gut. For once, she didn't think about her parents, she didn't think about Nick St. Clair. All she thought about was her girlfriend and how good her lips felt against her own.

**xxx**

"So your parents tell me you're on the newspaper team at school?" Nick swirled his wine around in a glass, having paid off the waiter to ignore the fact that he was underage.

"Yeah, it's just me and three of my friends, so we all have to work extra hard to keep up with everything going around in school," Cheryl nodded, squirming uncomfortably in her seat. The tag on the back of her dress was irritating her more than the slowly passing time. They were at one of the nicer Riverdale restaurants for the date that Cheryl had been dreading all week, and she wished that she were literally anywhere else _with_ anyone else. 

"I'm surprised you're not a cheerleader or a dancer. You've certainly got the body for it," Nick looked her up and down from across the table, sipping at his wine with a devilish grin that made her skin crawl. Even if she _were_ attracted to boys, this one would be at the very bottom of her list.

"Just not for me, I guess," she shrugged. She had wanted to be a dancer, but her parents didn't approve of anything that came along with it like the costumes or the stage makeup. "What do you do at your school?"

"Well, I'm class treasurer and I've been the reigning captain of the polo team for all four years of high school. And I'm currently battling the school board to give me my rightful spot as valedictorian of my class," he grinned proudly as he cut off another bit of his steak.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Well, I go to an all boys school. The only time I get to interact with girls my own age is at the country club every weekend."

"There's no one there you're interested in?" she asked timidly. She went to push her glasses up her nose like she normally did when she was nervous, but her mother insisted on her wearing her contacts tonight, claiming her glasses weren't flattering and that men preferred to look directly into a woman's eyes.

"I suppose there are a few, but none of them hold a candle to the gorgeous redhead in front of me now," he winked and Cheryl inwardly cringed as she picked at the garden salad that he had ordered for her. "You're a beautiful girl, Cheryl."

"Thank you," she mumbled, not glancing up from her salad. She was getting really fed up with this "date" and she wanted it to end. 

"Your father tells me that your twin brother Jason was meant to take on the family business when he was of age?"

Her heart stopped at the mention of Jason. For some reason just hearing her brother's name come out of this guy's mouth made her see red. "He was. But he was killed in a car accident when we were ten."

"So he said. He has big plans for us, Cheryl. He spoke of marriage and grandsons that he could mold into strong businessmen just like his father," Nick stared her down, making her even more uncomfortable as she laughed a bit nervously.

"I think he's going to have to wait a while," she mumbled, taking a sip of her water and trying to ignore the look Nick was giving her. She didn't know what he was feeling, but he didn't look happy. 

"Well, I know your family comes from a great deal of money. Combined with my family's fortune, you could want for nothing. Lavish vacations, large properties wherever you desire...you wouldn't have to lift a finger."

Cheryl placed her glass of water down and stared across the table at him. Was he being serious? They were _teenagers_. Teenagers that had only met five days ago, and here he was planning out their future. He was such a creep. "Will you excuse me for a moment? I just need to go powder my nose," she spoke like her mother would, grabbing her handbag, "I'd love to hear what other plans you have when I get back."

"Of course," he nodded.

Cheryl thanked him quietly and walked out of the dining area towards the stairs that lead to the bathrooms that were downstairs near the lobby. Thankfully they had a payphone between the men's and women's rooms. She loaded the phone up with a few minutes worth of her spare change and leaned against the wall, nervous that Nick would come around the corner and find her. 

_"Topaz."_

"Hey, do you know where The Round Table is?" she whispered into the phone, hoping that Toni knew who it was. 

_"Hey. Yeah I do, why what's up?"_

"Do you think you can pick me up? This guy is giving me the creeps," she sighed.

She heard Toni laughing on the other end, furrowing her brows confusedly. _"Oh my god, you're wild, Blossom. Are you seriously gonna walk out of a date with the rich punk your parents set you up with?"_

"I know it sounds awful, but I'm just that desperate. Plus I'd rather be anywhere else with you," she giggled quietly, fiddling idly with the silver cord.

_"Aw, that's so cute, you miss me,"_ Toni's voice teased in her ear, making her blush.

"Maybe I do," she mumbled, biting her lip, "Do you miss me?"

_"Of course I do. I'm bored as hell over here. Just stay put, I should be there in ten."_

"Thank you," Cheryl smiled into the phone before hanging up, sighing and going into the women's rest room to hide until Toni arrived. Ten minutes wasn't that long, but when she was attempting an escape, it felt like forever. Her parents were going to be furious with her. But if Nick was serious about his conversations with her father, she'd rather take another slap to the face now than end up calling herself Cheryl St. Clair in a few years.

She counted down the minutes in her head, sneaking out to the front door where she stood under the red awning in front of the valet podium. 

"Do you need help, miss?" the young man in uniform asked.

"No, thank you, I'm just waiting for someone," she smiled, rubbing her arms. She'd left her jacket inside so Nick wouldn't get suspicious. But she'd been gone for nearly fifteen minutes now, he was probably starting to get suspicious now if he wasn't already. But she forced the boy out of her mind when she saw Toni's car pull up to the curb, immediately letting herself into the passenger side to be engulfed in the warmth of the car before Toni sped off. 

"That bad, huh?" the brunette smirked over at her.

"He was telling me how he and my father were talking about us getting married," Cheryl rolled her eyes.

"Ew, haven't you only known him for like, a few days?" 

"Mmhm."

"What's his name again?"

"Nick St. Clair," Cheryl nearly gagged as the name fell off her tongue. 

"More like Nick St. Creep," her girlfriend chuckled, leaning over to kiss her at a stop light.

"Or Nick St. Creature," Cheryl giggled against her lips, "Is it okay if I stay at your place tonight?"

"You know I'm not gonna say no to that," Toni kissed her once more before continuing down the road.

"I don't have any clothes except this stupid dress."

"You can borrow something of mine. We've already established that you look good in my clothes."


	16. Chapter 16

"My parents are gonna _kill_ me," Cheryl was pacing back and forth in Toni's bedroom dressed in one of her large t-shirts that came down to her mid-thighs. Her contacts had been replaced by her glasses and her hair was up in a high ponytail, a few loose strands surrounding her face. Toni just watched as she paced around her small bedroom, unsure of how to calm her down. She had been fine for the first hour after she had picked her up from the restaurant. And now all of a sudden, she was in full panic mode. 

"They're not gonna kill you, Cher," she leaned back on her hands, bare legs dangling off the edge of the bed from under her own large t-shirt.

"Toni, I walked out of a date with their business partner's son! Their business partners that, if they're not happy, won't invest their time or money in my grandfather's company," Cheryl started to bite at her nails nervously, wondering what she should do. She should go home, just claim that she didn't feel well, and take whatever punishment they gave her. But that wouldn't excuse her being so rude as to leave Nick hanging at the restaurant. "My father's seriously going to kill me," she hid her face in her hands, her body starting to tremble in fear.

"Hey, c'mere," Toni leaned forward, reaching for Cheryl's shirt to tug her in towards her, not stopping until her girlfriend was sitting with her knees on either side of her lap on the edge of the bed, "I don't know your parents. They sound like assholes, no offense. But they can't force you into anything with that guy. That's just...fucked up."

"I can't stand up to them, TT. I don't know what would happen," Cheryl bit her lip, shaking her head sadly. Toni brought a hand up to stroke her slightly bruised cheek gently, making her lean instinctively into her touch. The bruise was finally starting to fade, but what if she was left with more to cover by Sunday night?

"Well, you know you can always come here, babe. There might be a weekend every now and then when my uncle's back in town, but in that case, we'd find somewhere else to go." Cheryl just sniffled, nodding against the palm of her hand before leaning in to hug her tightly. 

"It's all gonna be okay," Toni whispered, rubbing her back slowly. She really didn't know what to do. She didn't know if it was all gonna be okay or not. But she'd found herself so protective over Cheryl lately. Even at school, she'd been trying to distract her friends from targeting her so much. In subtle ways, of course. As horrible as she felt about it, she wasn't ready for whatever backlash she would face if she stood up to them in Cheryl's defense. She'd been the queen bee pretty much since elementary school. People feared her and worshipped her at the same time. But she was finally starting to realize that hurting Cheryl wasn't worth all the praise and adoration.

"Thank you," Cheryl whispered, pulling back to look at her as she wiped stray tears from her cheeks, "Sorry you have to put up with me and all my drama."

"I don't have to, I get to," the brunette smirked, kissing her lips gently, making Cheryl giggle before a yawn took over. "Did you wanna do something tomorrow?" she asked, laying back against the pillows. She pulled Cheryl down with her so she was hovering over her, still straddling her lap as red hair from her ponytail draped down to tickle the sides of her face.

"I think I should go home at some point. But only after I spend the day with you like I wanted," she bit her lip shyly, leaning down to kiss her again. She wasn't exactly scantily clad,   
but she was remembering that this was the least dressed she'd ever been with Toni. At least in private. Something about that made a blush come up to her cheeks as she thought about what would have happened if she hadn't stopped Toni from going too far with her last weekend. The thought excited her, but she had no idea what to expect.

"Just let me know," Toni mumbled, running her hands up and down her girlfriend's sides over her large maroon t-shirt. "We should sleep now, though," she sighed, looking over at her alarm clock. It was getting close to midnight. 

"I'm not tired," Cheryl shook her head, failing to stifle a yawn as she rubbed her eyes.

"Sure seems like you are, cutie," she smirked, pulling the comforter up to cover them after Cheryl laid down beside her. She flipped off her dim lamp and watched Cheryl take her glasses off, kissing her gently as the redhead tangled her legs with hers. "Night, Cher," she whispered, kissing her forehead. 

"Night, TT," Cheryl mumbled back sleepily, snuggling up to her with another yawn. Maybe this was why she was never able to let Toni go; Why she had never given up on her. Toni was meant to be her knight in shining armor all along.

**xxx**

The bathroom was foggy as Cheryl stepped out of the shower, running a towel through her wet hair as she wrapped another around her waist. Toni had gone out to get a few movies from Blockbuster while the redhead stayed in, hoping to get the feeling of Nick St. Clair's gaze off of her. She breathed in the scent of Toni's cucumber melon body wash and sighed contently, wiping fog off the mirror so she could look at herself. Despite the faded bruises on her cheek, the girl in her reflection was practically glowing, radiating a happy energy that Cheryl had never felt before. It wasn't the same kind of happiness she felt when she was sitting in a booth at Pop's with Betty. It wasn't even the same happiness she felt playing tag in the back yard with Jason when they were kids. This was entirely new.

She held the towel to herself and walked back to Toni's bedroom, suddenly aware that the only clothes she had here her bra, dress, and underwear from last night. The bra she could re-wear, no problem. But that dress was way too uncomfortable and she wasn't about to wear yesterday's underwear again today. Biting her lip, she thought about her options, but it really came down to two: wearing Toni's underwear or not wearing any at all. She opted for the latter and searched her closet for something to wear, deciding on a loose pair of track pants and the hoodie Toni had worn on their first date. That night was just so...perfect. She replayed as much of the night as she could in her head as she pulled the yellow hoodie up over her damp hair, finding a random comb to get the snarls out.

But reality was setting in once again. She had to go home today and face her parents, and possibly the St. Clairs. Her muscles tensed noticeably and she let out a shaky breath, trying to focus on combing her hair instead of her impending doom. She heard the door to the trailer close not too far away and Toni's voice calmed her nerves a bit. She was paranoid enough to think that her parents had tracked her down and barged in. 

"Hey, good lookin," Toni laughed quietly when Cheryl came out to see her, setting the VHS cases down on the table, "Raided my closet?"

"Sorry, I didn't have any other clothes besides that dress..." Cheryl rubbed her arm nervously.

"Babe, I was kidding," Toni chuckled, crossing the space between them to kiss her, "Wear whatever you want." 

A bit of a relieved smile crossed Cheryl's pale face, brushing her lips against hers again in the comfortable silence of the small trailer. "What'd you get?" she flicked her tongue out over her lips after pulling back, tasting the mango flavored Lip Smackers Toni was wearing.

"I got Clueless, cause I haven't seen it since it was in theaters, and Hocus Pocus cause Halloween's coming up," Toni held up the cases for the tapes.

"I've never seen either of those," Cheryl shrugged with a shy smile. She had wanted to see Clueless, but her parents wouldn't let her go with Betty when she and her sister Polly had gone to the theater earlier this year. 

"Better go get comfy on the couch, then, cause you're gonna see'em both today."

The redhead just nodded and went to the couch, sitting uncomfortably near the edge, almost as stiff as she had the first time she'd spent the night here. Toni was putting Clueless into the VHS player while Cheryl sat, twiddling her fingers uncomfortably on the couch. She wasn't used to not wearing anything under her pants, but the fact that she was bare under her _girlfriend's_ pants was just embarrassing. 

"You okay? You look tense," the brunette asked, coming to sit right up next to her on the couch.

"Yeah," her voice cracked from nerves and she avoided eye contact at all costs as her cheeks flamed up. Why did her pale complexion always have to betray her?

"Cher, come on, you can tell me. Did I do something wrong?" Toni frowned, pausing the VCR during the first preview and turning to her on the couch.

She shook her head slowly. "It's just...I-I didn't h-have any...um..."

"What?"

"The only underwear I had was from yesterday," she whispered, ashamed and mortified. 

"So what, did you just put on some of mine?" Toni shrugged, looking at her confused when she shook her head no. "Are you wearing anything?" her eyebrow quirked up curiously, her usual devious smirk breaking out onto her face when Cheryl shook her head again, cheeks burning brighter. "Damn, that's hot," she teased, poking her side.

"What?" the redhead turned to her with a look of utter shock.

"You going commando while you're wearing my clothes," she chuckled, flicking her tongue out over her lips. But Cheryl just faced forward again, her face almost as red as her hair. "Cher, I'm just kidding. It's not a big deal, you don't have to be embarrassed," Toni shook her head and leaned in to kiss her flushed cheek, feeling the heat under her lips before the redhead ducked her face into the crook of her neck. She rubbed her back with a bit of a giggle and pulled Cheryl to lay back against the cushions with her, pressing play on the remote as her girlfriend laid against her chest.

Cheryl just felt her tensed muscles relax as she laid against her, feeling her embarrassment wash away as the movie started. She'd been wanting to see this movie for a while, but she was finding it so hard to pay attention when Toni's hand was rubbing up and down her back over the hoodie she was wearing. It was comforting, but Cheryl found that with each downward stroke of Toni's hand, her fingers inched closer and closer to the back of her black track pants. By the time her pink polished fingernails reached the elastic waistband, Cheryl's heartbeat was pounding in her ears, her whole body covered in a flush, though her face was the only part that was exposed. 

That feeling was back. She wondered if the tightly tied knot in her stomach would ever come undone. It was always there, even if she couldn't feel it. She could only feel the tightening pull of it when she was around Toni. And it always came with a quickening heartbeat and a clouded mind. It was a feeling she couldn't explain, but she wasn't sure if anyone would understand. 

"You okay?" Toni asked quietly, pausing the movie.

Cheryl was silent at first, wondering if she should tell her. Maybe she sometimes felt the same thing. But what if she didn't and Toni thought she was some kind of freak for it? "I just feel...weird," she mumbled, not looking at her.

"Weird how?"

She sat up a bit, her knees on either side of her girlfriend as she took a shaky breath, unsure of what to say. "Do you ever feel like you just have a giant knot in your stomach?"

"Explain," Toni furrowed her brow as she sat up against the arm of the couch, leaving Cheryl straddling her shins. 

She took a deep breath, unsure of how to do that. "Just...sometimes I feel like there's a giant knot right here," she placed a hand against her abdomen, "And my heart starts beating really fast and I get kind of lightheaded. It only happens around you, but not all the time. I felt it when we were...in the car last weekend...and I felt it when I saw you and Veronica in the locker room." She averted her gaze, completely embarrassed.

"And you were feeling it just now?" Toni quirked an eyebrow at her, lips pressing into a tight line when Cheryl nodded. She knew exactly what she was talking about, but this poor, naive girl had no idea what she was feeling. "It's a dull kind of ache, right? But strong enough to make it so you can't focus on anything else? And sometimes it bugs you at night when you're trying to sleep?"

"Yeah," Cheryl nodded quickly, surprised that Toni knew what she was talking about. She thought she was just broken, "Do you feel that too sometimes?"

"Yeah, it's called being horny," Toni chuckled, watching Cheryl breathe a nervous laugh and wring her hands together, but she could tell that the redhead had no idea what she was talking about. She should have known, considering she came from such a religious household and didn't really have friends outside the church. "It's your body telling you that you need some release. Usually being with someone or thinking about something that turns you on is gonna make you feel like that until you give your body what it wants."

Why had no one ever told her about this? She'd been struggling with this for years, and she was just now learning about it from her girlfriend. "Oh...so that feeling is like a...a s-sex thing?" she asked timidly. She wasn't ready for that.

"I mean I guess, but you don't have to have sex to make the feeling go away," Toni shrugged. How was she making this sound so simple? "Didn't you take that sex ed course in eighth grade?"

"My parents wouldn't sign the permission slip," the redhead rubbed her arm nervously, her fingers twitching. 

"Probably would've cleared a lot of things up if they had," Toni smirked, pulling her forward until she was straddling her lap again. Cheryl's breath caught in her throat and her face was on fire as Toni took her hands. "So...you've never touched yourself? Or had an orgasm?"

"I-I guess not," she whispered. Her mouth was getting dry.

"You _guess_ not?" 

"I mean, if I have, I wasn't aware of it. Sometimes that feeling just goes away after a while."

"You would know if you have, trust me," Toni chuckled, tucking hair behind Cheryl's ear. Her cheeks were literally hot from the blush that covered her face and neck. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. What's got you feeling that way right now?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, looking down at the minimal space between them, "I started feeling it when you were rubbing my back and your hand just kept moving lower...that and the fact that I'm not wearing anything under these pants..." her face was still bright pink as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "And when you said it was hot, I just..." she trailed off with a shrug. At this point she was more embarrassed about being so uneducated on all this than the fact that she'd gotten turned on in the first place. 

"Well it _is_ hot," Toni smirked, laughing when Cheryl gently smacked her shoulder, "But I didn't mean to get you so worked up. I know you're not ready for that."

"I'm sorry I don't know more about any of it," she mumbled.

"I didn't expect you to, honestly. But you're human, Cher, it's all natural," Toni leaned up to kiss her, holding her warm cheeks in her hands. "In fact," she started after pulling back, though it wasn't followed by anything. She just eased Cheryl off her lap and got up, retreating to her bedroom and leaving Cheryl alone to process. But she came back not too long after, sitting back on the worn out couch and handing Cheryl a little paperback book.

"What's this?"

"It's a book they gave us to take home in sex ed. It's probably got most of your answers in there if there's anything you don't feel comfortable asking me." 

She still had no idea how Toni could be so calm about this. Her mother always made sex out to be some huge, life-changing ordeal. But the elder Blossom also never failed to remind Cheryl that it was something that was _only_ to be shared between a married man and woman. "Thanks," the redhead whispered, looking over the cover before putting it down on the coffee table. She was definitely going to have to give that a read tonight, "Can we start the movie over? I was kind of distracted."

"Already on it," Toni chuckled, hitting the stop and rewind buttons on the remote.

**xxx**

Cheryl's leg bounced anxiously under the table at Pop's. She had called Betty from Toni's and asked her to meet her at the little diner where Toni had subtly dropped her off. She was back in her uncomfortable dress and woolen cardigan from last night, waiting to see the blonde's car in the parking lot. While she did miss Betty and felt the need to catch up with her, the main reason she had called on her was so that she had someone to take her home. And she hoped that Betty would stay with her for a little while at her house. That would at least keep her parents' true colors at bay.

She sighed with relief when Betty's car pulled up, watching her get out and make her way into the diner. She waved her hand to get her attention and smiled when her best friend practically skipped over her to see her, ponytail bouncing behind her. 

"Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" Betty gushed, sitting down in the booth, claiming the vanilla milkshake Cheryl slid over to her. 

"Betty, we saw each other yesterday at lunch," the redhead chuckled, sipping at her strawberry shake. 

"Yeah, but that was with Archie. We haven't hung out just the two of us in a while."

"Yeah, you're right. How have you been? Are things going better with your parents?"

"Not really. My dad's pretty much made a room for himself in the basement," Betty rolled her eyes, "And my mom just cries all the time."

"Do you think they're gonna get a divorce?"

"No, they just pray a lot that things will work out." Cheryl bit the inside of her cheek. She knew that divorce was considered an abomination in the church, but what was the point in staying in a loveless marriage?

"I hope they manage."

"Me too. What about you, anything new in your world? I feel like you're never around anymore," Betty chuckled, leaning her elbows on the table.

"Nothing new, really. Just trying to keep up with school work and stuff," she shrugged.

"What about Toni?"

She nearly choked on her milkshake at the mention of her girlfriend's name. "What _about_ Toni?"

"Is she as much of a witch as usual? I know I've been pairing you guys up a lot for the paper, I was kind of hoping it would get you talking to ease the tension," Betty furrowed her brows. 

"Oh, um...I mean she's not awful, I guess. She's tolerable," she twirled her hair around her pale finger, fidgeting a bit in her seat. Toni wasn't just tolerable. Cheryl _craved_ her presence almost all the time lately. 

"Better than her giving you grief all the time. I wish she had just joined the mathletes. Even though she's a halfway decent photographer, I still hate having her around," Betty stared into her shake, swirling it around with her straw. Cheryl had to bite her tongue. She couldn't defend Toni like she wanted to. Betty would think she was crazy to defend her anyways, considering how miserable Toni had made her previously. "So," Betty started, changing the subject, "Spill the beans. You met somebody."

"Uh, what?" she felt her cheeks flaming up again. 

"Come on, Cheryl. I've seen you smile more this week than I've seen you smile in the past few years. Not to mention your face turned bright pink when I brought it up," Betty giggled. Figures her pale skin would betray her yet again. "So come on, who is he?"

_**He.**_ At least Betty didn't suspect anything about Toni.

"I can't tell you," Cheryl bit her lip, tucking hair behind her ear.

"Can you tell me _about_ him?" Betty pried with an excited grin. 

Maybe that could work. She could get all her feelings for Toni out into the open without really letting her secret out. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone okay?"

"Cross my heart," Betty dragged her fingertip across her pink sweater in an X formation.

"He's..." she started out, taking a deep breath as a smile came over her face, " _Amazing_. Like, so amazing that I can't believe he exists."

"Ugh, that's so cute. How long have you been dating?" Betty leaned in, intrigued.

"We made things official last Saturday. That was our first date. We went to Sweetwater River and just sat in the car and talked and kissed. And towards the end of the night, he took me to the river's edge and asked me to be his girlfriend. He said if he could be brave enough to put his feet into the freezing cold water, he could be brave enough to ask me to be his girlfriend," she blushed at the memory. She hoped she wasn't slipping on any of the pronouns. But Betty looked so enthralled in the story, she must not have slipped yet.

"That's _so_ romantic," she held a hand over her heart, "So you've kissed him?"

"Mmhm," she nodded, biting her lip, making the blonde squeal with excitement.

"When do I get to meet him?"

"Well, we don't want anyone to know we're dating yet. My parents wouldn't exactly approve," she muttered, "That's actually one of the reasons I called and asked you to meet me here."

"What do you mean?"

Cheryl sighed deeply and pushed her glasses up her nose. "My parents set me up with the son of these people that are visiting from New York," she left out the details. Betty didn't need to know that her father was doing deals on the side of being the beloved pastor. "We went out last night and he was just so...gross and creepy, I was really uncomfortable with just being there. So I called T-...my boyfriend from a payphone to come get me and I completely bailed on the date without the guy knowing."

"So what does that have to do with me coming here?" Betty's eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

"Well, I spent the night at his house, and-"

_"Cheryl!"_ Betty's jaw dropped in surprise.

"No, no, it was nothing like that!" she shook her head, "I just wanted to spend time with him. But if he took me home, my parents would find out. So I was gonna see if you could take me home and help me come up with something to tell my parents so they don't get mad."

"I don't know, Cheryl, you want me to lie to Pastor Blossom?"

"It wouldn't be a lie, just...a story. Betty, I'm asking because you're my best friend. I really want things to work out with him. I don't want my parents getting in the way of it."  
Betty sat, deep in thought for a minute while Cheryl wondered what her answer would be. Without Betty's help, she didn't know what she would do. "Okay fine," she sighed, sending a wave of relief through the redhead. "But one condition. You tell me his name."

"First name only," Cheryl haggled.

"Fine."

"Fine," she had to scour her brain for an idea quickly. "His name is...Tommy."

"Does he go to our school?" Betty smirked, but Cheryl just shook her head.

"You said one condition, and you got it."

"Ugh, fine. But you've gotta tell me more about him _sometime_."

"I will. Just not right now while things are so new."

Betty nodded and sipped at her shake. Cheryl wanted to tell the world about her and Toni. But now just wasn't the right time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow is the day we get fed, boys.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all like angst? y'all like fluff?

Guilt flowed through Cheryl's veins, keeping her stiff and on edge for days. She avoided everyone as much as she could, especially Toni. She felt like enough of a burden on her girlfriend. Last time she spoke to her was Saturday after she dropped her off at Pop's, four days ago. On the rare occasion that she met Toni's gaze since then, the brunette's eyes were filled with worry, making Cheryl feel even more guilty. She didn't want Toni to worry about her.

Wednesday during lunch, she was sitting with Betty and Archie like she always did, avoiding looking at Toni who was seated across the room at her regular table. She hated avoiding her like this. She was the one person who had the ability to give her the comfort she needed. But it wasn't fair to keep dragging Toni into her problems. She probably had better things to do than to keep coming to her rescue. 

"I'll be right back," she mumbled quietly, getting up from her seat at the cafeteria table, leaving her backpack and other belongings with Betty. She let out a deep sigh as she walked through the halls towards the closest bathroom, not noticing that Toni was following a few paces behind her. There were a few girls in the bathroom, touching up their makeup in the mirrors as Cheryl walked around them to the furthest sink from the door, washing her hands distractedly, though it was a struggle with the sleeves of her sweater pulled down to her wrists. 

"Hey, Blossom!" a sharp voice echoed through the bathroom, making just about everyone in the room flinch. "I need to talk to you," Toni said in her familiar head bitch tone, sending a chill down her spine. Toni practically stomped into the bathroom, pointing a finger to the door when she approached the other girls. "Get out," she demanded, making the girls scramble for their things so they could leave as soon as possible. Once they left, Cheryl was left standing stunned in place as Toni checked the stalls for anyone else, going to lock the bathroom door once the coast was clear. 

"W-what are you doing?" she stammered. This is the first time she'd spoken to her since their kiss goodbye on Saturday evening. 

"You've been avoiding me for days, Cher, what's going on?" her voice was much softer than when she had entered the bathroom, with a tone that comforted the redhead. 

"Nothing, I've just been busy," she pushed her glasses up her nose nervously, averting her gaze as Toni stepped closer. She should have known that she wouldn't believe her. Cheryl had never been great at lying. Even if she was, sometimes it felt like Toni could read her like a book.

"I know we've only been going out for like, a week and a half, babe, but I think I know you well enough to know when something's wrong," Toni uncrossed her arms from in front of her chest and reached out to tuck red hair behind Cheryl's ear. "What happened when you got home on Saturday?" she whispered. Her soft voice mixed with her gentle touch and worried eyes had Cheryl trembling, like she was a shaken can of soda and the truth was ready to explode out of her. 

A tear slipped down her cheek as she felt herself breaking down. The truth was eating away at her. She'd wanted to tell Toni since the minute it happened, but she couldn't bear to see the hurt in her eyes.

"Please tell me, honey. I need to know so I can help you," Toni spoke so quietly, brushing the tear from her trembling cheek, but that just made more tears fall from her eyes as her body shook. 

"You shouldn't always have to help me," Cheryl whispered, starting to wring her hands nervously.

"You're my girlfriend, Cheryl, I _want_ to help you," she took her hands, stopping her from fidgeting with her own fingers as she leaned in to press her forehead against hers, "Please."

Cheryl's breath was ragged when she took a deep breath in, kissing her slowly, unable to resist with their faces so close. It astounded her how such a simple act could have her starting to feel the slightest bit better already. "Is the door locked?" she asked quietly, sniffling a bit when Toni nodded her head. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stepped back from her and slowly started to tug her sweater over her head, revealing her plain white bra and dark bruises littered around her arms and back. She avoided Toni's eyes at all costs, but the slight gasp the brunette let out made it clear that she was shocked.

"Cheryl..." the older girl whispered, reaching out to run her fingers delicately along the discolored skin. 

"W-when I got home, Betty stayed with me for a few minutes, but m-my parents told her to go home," she started, "They acted normal until she left and th-then my dad, he-" Toni was closing in on her, running her hands soothingly over her bruises while she started to pepper Cheryl's flushed face with slow, gentle kisses as she spoke. "He just kept hitting me and pushing me around. H-he held me against the wall and h-hit me in the back over and over," she was crying harder. Tears of sadness flowed down her cheeks at the memory of it all, mixed with tears of relief that came with Toni being so soft and comforting with her.

"A-and then on Sunday, after church, we went out to dinner with the St. Clairs again. I-I got up to go to the bathroom and Nick followed me. He said he was making sure I didn't run away again. And h-he cornered me and kept trying to k-kiss me and touch me..."

Toni swallowed hard, taking Cheryl's face in her gentle hands. She could feel the brunette's hands shaking a little against her flushed cheeks, and she wasn't sure what to think of it. Was she sad? Scared? Angry? All she knew was that when she finally got the courage to look into her eyes, she saw that they were shiny with tears. Cheryl didn't want that. She didn't want Toni to cry because of her. She didn't want Toni to cry at all. 

"H-he kissed me, Toni, I'm s-so sorry," she practically blubbered, leaning into her shoulder, heavy sobs muffled by Toni's long sleeved shirt. "I didn't want to kiss him and I told him that, but he didn't listen," she trembled in Toni's arms, her skin crawling at the memory of Nick's tongue trying to force its way past her lips before she finally managed to push him away that night. "Please don't be mad at me, Please," she whispered, barely audible as her girlfriend's hands rubbed up and down the exposed, discolored skin of her back. 

"Why would I be mad at you? You didn't do anything," the brunette muttered quietly as she started to press chaste kisses to the side of her neck.

"I-I kissed someone else...and I avoided you for days," Cheryl's frail, trembling fingers gripped tightly at the fabric of her shirt.

"Cher, you didn't kiss him," Toni pulled back, wiping carefully under her eyes without smudging her mascara, "He kissed _you_. He's a fucking creep who took advantage of you, that's not your fault."

Cheryl bit her lip. She hadn't told anyone about this until now. She knew that if she told her parents, they wouldn't care. They would make it seem like she deserved it. Like she had lead him on and teased him into it. They would never believe that the charming youngest St. Clair would ever do such a thing.

"It's not your fault, okay?" Toni repeated, hooking a finger under Cheryl's chin so she would look at her again, "You didn't have to hide it from me, babe, what did you think was gonna happen?" She stepped back a little while she waited on an answer, carefully easing the sweater back over Cheryl's head and arms, being careful for all her bruises. 

"I was just...embarrassed about all the...the bruises. And I-I wasn't sure how to tell you about Nick. And I didn't want you to get mad and...break up with me," the redhead shrugged, casting her eyes down to her white sneakers again. She hated how needy and desperate she sounded.

"Oh, I'm mad, I'm mad as hell. But at _him_ , not at you. The asshole is lucky he's all the way in New York," Toni folded her arms over her chest, her fingers still shaking a bit from the adrenaline. 

Cheryl just sniffled and rubbed her arm gently over her sweater, her shoulders still shaking. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she whispered. Her crying had slowed to just inconsistent sniffling. 

"You don't have to be sorry for that, I get it," the brunette shook her head, cupping her face once again and placing a gentle kiss between her eyebrows. Cheryl leaned up and kissed her lips slowly, their lips barely touching as she wrapped her arms around Toni's neck, ignoring the pain that came with it. 

"Thank you," she whispered against her lips. She still felt awful and embarrassed, but Toni was there for her. And from the looks of it, she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. The former cheerleader just held her gently, rubbing her back under her sweater. "Do you think I can come to your house after school?" she sniffled, her forehead against Toni's, "Betty's got plans and I don't really want to go straight home..."

"Yeah. Yeah, totally," she nodded. She was supposed to hang out with Veronica and Sweet Pea tonight, but she really wanted to make sure Cheryl was okay. As it was, she wanted to skip the rest of school and whisk her far away from everyone and everything here in Riverdale. "Just meet me in the parking lot around 3:30," she mumbled, kissing her again. That would give everyone who didn't participate in after school activities the time to leave campus and empty out the parking lot.

"Okay," Cheryl nodded, kissing her one last time before she knew they had to go their separate ways again. "Thank you again."

"Of course. I'll see you in study hall," Toni stroked a thumb across her tear-stained cheek, thankful that at least _that_ bruising had faded. She gave her a small smile and backed up towards the door, making Cheryl giggle a little bit when she put her bitchy face back on before unlocking it and stepping out, stomping back down the hall. 

She gave it about a minute before she followed, leaving the bathroom and headed back to the cafeteria. The bell was going to ring any minute now. 

"You okay?" Betty asked when she came back.

"Fine. I just didn't feel very well," she smiled a little at her, sighing as she took a sip of her chocolate milk, meeting Toni's eyes briefly from across the cafeteria.

**xxx**

"Shit, sorry," Toni mumbled, pulling her hands back at Cheryl's sharp hiss of pain. The redhead was sitting beside her on the couch, facing the opposite direction as she held her arms self consciously across her chest. Her sweater was off and Toni was attempting to unclasp the back of her plain white bra as gently as she could.

"No, I'm sorry, it just...still really hurts," Cheryl muttered. Her cheeks were flaming red from embarrassment.

The older girl managed to undo the clasp after another careful try, easing the straps down Cheryl's shoulders from behind her. She nearly felt sick to her stomach at the bruises that covered the porcelain skin of her girlfriend's upper back. "Here," she handed her the blanket that was draped over the arm of the couch so she could cover herself up. 

"Thanks," she sniffled a bit, managing to maneuver her bra the rest of the way off while keeping the bundled up blanket pressed to her front. Her body stiffened with another hiss when Toni pressed two bags of frozen vegetables against her bare shoulder blades. They were wrapped in paper towels, but still cold enough to send a shiver up her spine. "I'm sorry you have to keep doing this," Cheryl whispered, holding the blanket firmly to her chest.

"Keep doing what?" the brunette's voice was quiet as she pressed a gentle kiss to the base of Cheryl's neck.

"Coming to my rescue," her head was bowed in shame, though her body broke out in goose bumps at the warm kiss that had lingered against her cold skin. 

"Come on, you know I don't help you out cause I think I have to," Toni frowned, still holding the makeshift ice packs against her back. She couldn't see her face, but she could tell that Cheryl didn't seem very convinced. "I mean it, babe," she mumbled, moving the bags to different spots on her back to spread the cold around, "What if I said I'm just selfish and I do it so I feel less shitty about tormenting you for the past five years?" Toni smirked, cocking her head as she waited for a reaction. 

Cheryl just breathed a bit of a laugh, her lips pressed together in a tight line. "Still, I wish we could be out doing normal...couple-y things. But instead you're always stuck helping me," she frowned, looking down at her blanket-clad lap.

"What kind of normal, couple-y things?" 

"I don't know, like...going to the movies, getting food at Pop's after school, even just hanging out here watching TV."

"We're doing the last one right now," she offered.

"I mean with no bruises, no ice packs," Cheryl sighed, her shoulders slumping more, "I wanna be able to lay down on the couch with you and not have you worry about hurting me."

Toni was quiet as her eyes remained focused on Cheryl's back, moving the ice packs around again. "I hate your whole situation, Cher, I really do," her voice was quiet, almost solemn, "This probably sounds shitty of me, but I'd rather be sitting here holding frozen peas against your back than not have you here at all. Yeah, going to the movies and all that other normal stuff sounds great, but...I dunno, I just feel like all the times we've hung out so far have been way better than that."

She was quiet, unsure of what to say. Toni had a point. She wasn't exactly grateful for the torture she endured at home, but there was a slim chance they would be where they were now if it weren't for her parents acting the way they did. That first weekend in this trailer a few weeks ago was like a dream, and Cheryl still had a hard time believing it was real. They had gotten so close so quickly, and that probably never would have happened on a one night trip to The Bijou. 

"Here, lay down," Toni pulled the bags off her back and set them down on the coffee table, standing up from the couch to help ease Cheryl down to lay on her stomach. She put the bags on her back again and sat in front of her on the floor, biting her lip as she met Cheryl's grateful gaze, "Comfy?"

"Mmhm," the redhead smiled, sighing contently after Toni kissed her forehead and turned around to face the TV. "Thank you," she eased herself up a bit to peck the back of Toni's head before relaxing back down on the cushions.

Toni just turned back to her with a smile before she leaned back against the bottom of the couch, pulling the coffee table closer so she could do her homework while they watched TV. But Cheryl was far more interested in the brunette, focusing more on the hairspray-locked curls in front of her than the episode of The Golden Girls that was playing on TV. She always loved Toni's hair, no matter how it was styled. She remembered back in ninth grade, her brown hair had a streak of pink in it for weeks. It always caught Cheryl's attention. Though it got her in trouble a lot for staring. 

Toni wrote out another answer to her algebra homework and smiled contently when she felt gentle fingers running through her hair. She'd always loved having her hair played with. If she had the money, she would go to the salon once a week just for the scalp massage. 

"Are you ever gonna dye your hair again?" Cheryl mumbled, twirling a wavy curl around her petite finger. 

"What?"

"In ninth grade, you had a pink stripe in your hair for a little while."

"You remember that?" Toni chuckled.

"Yeah. I liked it," she smiled. 

"I dunno, it was during my wannabe rebel phase," Toni shrugged. 

Cheryl just giggled, keeping her fingers running through her hair as she did her homework.

"What are you doing for Halloween?" Toni asked after finishing her worksheet.

"I'm not really allowed to celebrate it, so...probably spending the night in a prayer circle with my parents," Cheryl snorted.

"You should come to the dance after school," Toni turned around slightly so she could face her, taking the time to adjust the ice packs again.

"My parents would never let me. Even if they did, I don't have a costume."

"So you're just going to school in normal clothes that day?" Toni frowned at her nod. 

"What are _you_ gonna be?" the redhead asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not sure yet. I've got a few options."

"You might wanna figure it out. Halloween's in two days," Cheryl smirked. 

Toni quirked an eyebrow at her, "Maybe I want it to be a surprise."

"You're no fun," she whined.

"You know damn well I'm plenty of fun," Toni chuckled, leaning in to kiss the pout off her face.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clifford: oh hi thanks for checking in i'm sTiLl a PiEcE oF GaRbAgE
> 
> trigger warnings for bullying and physical abuse here, but what else is new, right?

Cheryl crept down the hall to her parent's room, listening at the door for the sound of her father's snoring to tell her that the coast was clear before she went back to the door across from her own. She twisted the crystal doorknob slowly, trying to remain as silent as a mouse as she entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her and flipping on the light. 

Warmth spread through her as a smile took over her face. Jason's room always comforted her, but her parents never wanted her to go in there. It hadn't changed since the day he died. Trophies littered the walls, along with several baseball posters and framed trading cards. Even his bed was made, neat as a pin as he had done the morning of the tragic accident. Over the past seven years, there were times when Cheryl wanted to tuck herself under the sheets and let her brother's spirit bring her the comfort she craved. But she never wanted to ruin his hard work. Though the bed now had a thin coating of dust on it, nothing on it had moved an inch since that day. But sometimes Cheryl would come into the room, sit on his beanbag chair and go through his things. Photos, toys, books, anything that would let her relive the memory of her twin. 

"Where is it, Jay Jay?" she whispered, looking around the room for what she needed. Stepping towards the closet, she opened the door and knelt down, smiling when she found what she had been looking for. It was a vintage wooden trunk full of old props and costumes that they would use to play dress up as kids. She undid the latch and lifted the lid, looking through the box. She and Jason used to love playing dress up. One time, she whacked him a little too hard with a plastic magic wand and he needed two stitches on his forehead. That was the day that the dress up trunk was moved to Jason's room instead of hers. He never cried that day. He was brave and forgiving, and understood that it was just an accident. 

Cheryl rummaged through the array of costumes, wanting something simple to wear to school tomorrow for Halloween. Picking up a pair of black cat ears, she smiled. This could be simple enough. Maybe a black sweater and skirt would pull the look together. She didn't exactly want a lot of attention. And she definitely couldn't dress in a way that would give her parents any indication that she was actually participating in Halloween this year. 

With a smile, she closed the trunk quietly and tip-toed out of the room, closing the door slowly behind her before heading back to her own bedroom, tucking the cat ears into her backpack for tomorrow.

**xxx**

"Check it out, Reg, Cheryl Blossom dressed up as a pussy!" Sweet Pea smacked Reggie's shoulder as them and their crew approached the redhead at her locker first thing in the morning. She sighed inwardly as she sifted through her books that she needed for first period. Homeroom hadn't even started yet and she was already regretting wearing the cat ears.

"Oh, Blossom, didn't anyone tell you? You were supposed to wear a _costume_ ," Reggie snickered, snatching the cat ears off of Cheryl's head, making her turn around to face them. They were both wearing leather jackets with poorly drawn Southside Serpent logos taped to their backs. It would surely get them in trouble later on today, since even the mention of the dangerous biker gang was sometimes grounds for detention at this school. 

"What are you assholes doing?" Toni broke through them, making Cheryl freeze at the sight of her. She had on a pink dress with half sleeves and a pink sash around her waist. Glittery magenta eye shadow covered her eyelids, and to top it all off, her hair was tinted with a few strands of pink to match it all. Cheryl recognized her costume immediately. Jem and the Holograms was one of her favorite cartoons growing up. She had told Toni that the first Saturday she'd spent at her house.

"We were just reminding Blossom that being a pussy for Halloween doesn't count if you're a pussy every other day of the year," Reggie smirked, tossing the ears back and forth with Sweet Pea.

"You are what you eat, right?" the taller jock laughed, making Cheryl cheeks flame up more than they already had. Sweet Pea tossed the black cat ears to Reggie, only to be intercepted by Toni, who caught them with one hand. 

"Cute," she inspected the ears and smirked at Cheryl, whose heart was pounding in her chest. The bell rang before anyone could say anything else and Toni just started walking away towards her own homeroom class, Cheryl's cat ears in hand. Sweet Pea knocked the books from Cheryl's hands before following her and Reggie kicked them out of her reach, leaving her scrambling for her books, their laughter fading in the distance as they walked away.

**xxx**

Ever since what happened in the locker room after gym class last month, Cheryl hadn't felt comfortable changing in front of the other girls. And she wasn't sure if the girls felt comfortable changing in front of her either. She stripped off her gym shorts and t-shirt, changing back into her black sweater and skirt in the privacy of the bathroom stall. She could hear all the other girls gossiping and giggling in the other room, and as usual, she waited until the lunch bell rang and everyone cleared out before leaving the stall, sighing to herself.

"Hey, cutie," Toni's voice made her nearly jump out of her skin in surprise. She was back in her costume, leaning against the nearest row of lockers as Cheryl's cat ears dangled in her hand, "Sorry about this morning. Figured you might want these back." 

The redhead just smiled a little, blushing as Toni's pink heels clicked across the floor until she was standing right in front of her. 

"Thought you weren't dressing up for Halloween," the pink-haired girl bit her lip, sliding the ears back onto Cheryl's head for her.

"Maybe someone convinced me that I should," she smiled shyly into the kiss Toni gave her, "Jem and the Holograms, huh?"

"Maybe I was inspired," Toni shrugged with a smirk, "Especially after a certain someone told me how much she liked me with pink in my hair." Cheryl blushed and leaned into her comfortably, wrapping her arms around her middle. "How's your back?" Toni mumbled, running her hands over the redhead's back over her sweater, "And your arms?"

"A little better," her voice was muffled by Toni's shoulder.

"Did you ice the bruises at home?" the brunette combed through her girlfriend's long red hair.

"Mmhm."

"Good."

Cheryl smiled as she curled into Toni, content as ever standing with her in the middle of the girl's locker room.

"Do you think you'll go to the dance tonight?" 

"I kind of want to, but...I'll just be standing around the whole time. I can't exactly dance with you. And I know Betty and Archie aren't going to come," Cheryl muttered with a shrug. 

Toni pursed her lips. As much as she didn't like it, she knew that Cheryl was right. "We could always surprise Betty and cover a little of the dance for the paper," she suggested. The blonde had decided not to feature the Halloween dance in the paper because Toni would have been the only one in attendance. 

"No, it's okay. You should have fun with your friends," she pulled back slowly with an understanding smile.

"You think I'm gonna have more fun doing the 'Thriller' dance with Sweet Pea than hanging out with my girlfriend?" 

"Maybe," she shrugged with reddening cheeks.

"I thought you were smarter than that, Blossom," Toni smirked, kissing her gently before grabbing her backpack and starting to head for the door, "See you in study hall, cutie."

**xxx**

Cheryl glanced around the gymnasium that was decorated with multiple black lights and cheesy Halloween decorations. She was standing by the bowl of what Mrs. Beasley, one of the chaperones, called 'blood punch', sipping her own from a paper cup.

"Okay, Blossom, let's get this over with," Toni's annoyed voice approached from behind her, the pinkette practically stomping over in her pink heels and taking the camera from her. Though the secret smirk Toni gave her made it clear that she wasn't as annoyed as she seemed. Besides, just an hour ago, Cheryl was sitting on Toni's bed, giggling and squirming as her girlfriend drew a little nose and whiskers on her face with an eyeliner pencil, adding a little more to her cat costume.

Cheryl was excited to spend time with Toni tonight. Pretty much the whole school knew that Toni was on the newspaper team with her, so as long as they had a camera and a notebook on them, they were just doing their usual extracurricular activity. Nothing suspicious. She had called her parents from the school's payphone near the office, telling them that she was going to Betty's house for the evening and might sleep over. She wasn't sure what her night with Toni was going to look like just yet, but she figured she should let them know of the possibility that she wouldn't be home tonight. They didn't seem to mind, just as long as she wasn't out celebrating 'the devil's holiday'. But she was starting to get better at making up lies to her parents. With newspaper as her excuse, they would believe just about anything.

"So..." Toni grinned as she snapped a quick candid of Cheryl, making her laugh quietly, "Are we actually gonna cover the dance or are we just gonna walk around with our journalism equipment so we can chat?"

"Well, Betty doesn't know I'm here, so I say we go with the latter," she chuckled.

"Perfect," Toni laughed, the sound drowned out by the music from the DJ.

They did take a few pictures as they walked around, wanting to at least make it a little convincing that they were working. Cheryl had never been to a dance before, so this was all new to her. It looked like fun to be in the middle of the dance floor, but she was still having a good time hanging out on the sidelines with Toni. 

"I still can't believe you dyed your hair," she giggled.

"It's just tinted hair spray," Toni shrugged, "It'll come out next time I wash my hair."

"It really suits you."

Toni just laughed and shook her head, looking over at her as she sipped her own punch, "Now you're talking crazy."

"I'm serious," Cheryl giggled. She nearly forgot where she was when she went to twirl a strand of pink around her finger, but her father's voice booming over the music stopped her before she could even remember. 

"CHERYL MARJORIE BLOSSOM!" he yelled, bursting through the double doors of the gym with Penelope in tow.

"Shit," Toni muttered, watching the large man cross the gymnasium.

"Daddy, I-" Cheryl started, unsure of what to say. Her father would never make a scene in front of everyone, right? He always wanted to be seen as the level-headed pastor. But apparently being a firm-handed father was something he wasn't afraid to flaunt. 

"Elizabeth came over and asked us if you wanted to join the prayer group she was hosting, but you had already told us that you were going to her house this evening," Clifford towered over her, "And now we find out that you're here, in this den of sin with a band of heathens!"

People were staring and Cheryl felt like she wanted to be sucked into a black hole. "Daddy, I was just-"

"Mr. Blossom, we were going to surprise Betty by covering the dance for the newspaper for her," Toni moved in front of Cheryl, her heart pounding in fear as she tried to keep her cool. These people hated her and her whole family.

"Let's go, Cheryl, we're going home," Clifford ignored Toni, pushing past her to grab Cheryl's wrist while Penelope grabbed the other, making Cheryl drop her notebook to the floor. The redhead yelped a bit in pain when they grabbed tightly to her already bruised wrists, yanking her away towards the door.

"Stop it, you're hurting her," Toni tried to reach for one of their arms to pull them back, suddenly not caring about what people heard or saw. But Clifford brushed her off as they stormed away with their daughter. It killed Toni inside that some people around her were laughing at what just happened. They had no idea what was going on in Cheryl's life. And she was practically shaking in her four inch heels at the thought of what might happen to her girlfriend tonight. As she watched them go, she had to hold herself back from running after them and tearing Cheryl from their grip. But the rational part of her knew that it would only make things worse.

**xxx**

Cheryl cried out as her father shoved her into the shower, still fully dressed. Her mother had turned on the water to the hottest setting as they stood, blocking her way out while her father went off on a rant about her deviance.

"How long have you been lying to us, Cheryl?!" he shouted, holding her under the stream of water that was making its way from warm to hot.

"I didn't lie, Daddy, it was a surprise for Betty!" she lied again, trying to avoid the hot spray as best she could. She was soaking wet already. The sweater may have protected her skin from the direct hit of the water, but it still lingered and burned through the fabric. "I knew you wouldn't be okay with me going to the dance, I'm sorry!" she sobbed, her skin turning red from the hot water. 

"We found you in a costume, gallivanting around with that _filthy_ Topaz girl," Penelope sneered, helping Clifford hold Cheryl under.

"I just work with her for the newspaper, Mommy," Cheryl cried, "Please let me go, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" She was panting, her body thrashing to avoid the hot water. If she stayed under any longer, it would start to leave welts like one of the last times they did this to her. "Please, I've learned my lesson, please let me go!" She was practically shrieking at them, desperate. The heat of the water overshadowed the ache from them holding her down by the bruised patches of her skin. 

She begged them for mercy for another few moments before Penelope finally turned the water off and they let her go, leaving her cowering in the bathtub, drenched and panting as she cried.

"Clean yourself up, and go to bed. We'll be having a chat with your principal on Monday," Clifford's voice was deep and ominous as he stared down at his daughter. 

"A-about what?" she asked curiously. 

"About you being partnered up with that girl for the newspaper team. We expect that you'll find another after school activity by next Friday. And we'll be making sure that Principal Weatherbee sees that you do."

"But Betty needs me on the paper, there's not that many of us to help her," Cheryl sniffled, her eyes full of fear. 

"You should have thought about that before you lied to us, Cheryl," Penelope crossed her arms over her chest, "No more newspaper team. Last thing we need is that Topaz girl corrupting your impressionable mind."

They left just like that, leaving her alone in the bathroom, her skin tingling from the heat. Hair stuck to her face and the makeup Toni had drawn on her was smudged across her cheeks. She just wanted to know why her parents despised Toni so much. Something must have happened, but she knew better than to ask. 

Getting up, she carefully shed her sopping wet clothes, hissing as the hot water that clung to them stung her sensitive skin. She was pink all over, purples and blues mixed in where her bruises were, and she couldn't even bring herself to look in the mirror. She didn't want to know how much of a mess she was. Her glasses fogged with the humidity, dots of moisture blinding her as she reached for a towel, wrapping it around herself as she moved to her bedroom, sniffling quietly. Her father was yelling down the hall. She sat on the edge of her bed after changing into her fluffy bathrobe, closing her eyes as she tried to ignore it. She didn't know what she was going to do.

**xxx**

She tried to relax in bed for a little bit, reading a book to ease her mind. She had coated her skin in a soothing lotion and put on some comfortable pajamas. Her skin was still pink, but it didn't hurt as much as it did two hours ago. Her father had stopped yelling, finally, and it seemed like her parents had fallen asleep for the night. She tried to focus on her book, but her mind just kept drifting back to Toni. What was she going to do about her? And Betty. Would the newspaper survive without her on the team? They had survived with only three people before Toni showed up, but the paper was actually thriving now.

A thump on her window as well as the sound of laughter outside broke her jumbled train of thought. She thought she was imagining things at first, but a roll of toilet paper thumped against her window again. Curious, she stood up, peeking out the window to see a hooded figure in the garden lights. She was confused, but the person on the ground below her pulled their hood off, revealing pink hair and a familiar face underneath.

_**Toni.**_

"What are you doing here?" Cheryl whispered as loud as she could after opening her window.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Toni mimicked her volume from the ground. 

"How did you know this was my room?"

"I figured your parents wouldn't be the ones up at 10:30 at night with pink curtains in the window," she shrugged with a smirk. Laughter was still sounding from around the front of the house.

"What's going on?" 

"I convinced some of the boys to come TP your house," Toni explained with a bit of a laugh, making Cheryl suppress her own giggles just before the doorbell rang through the house. 

"Call me at midnight if you can!" Toni whispered up to her, walking backwards as she put her hood back on, dashing off around to the front of the house. Cheryl could hear her father's confused voice down the hall and she closed her window quickly, turning off her lamp and crawling into bed as his footsteps trudged down the stairs. The revving of a car engine was muffled from outside and she assumed that whoever else was outside had left before her father could get the door open. 

"Penelope, someone trashed our yard!" she heard, giggling the littlest bit. She had a feeling the boys probably thought it was a prank on her, but she knew that Toni had orchestrated it all just to come check on her. 

10:30 shined in bright green numbers on her alarm clock. That would hopefully give her parents enough time to go back to bed and fall asleep before midnight.

**xxx**

That hour and a half couldn't have gone by any slower. Cheryl tried to make the time pass by reading and drawing, but no matter what she did, the clock moved at a snail's pace. But at 11:55, she tip-toed down the stairs, biting her lip as she made her way into the kitchen. She took the phone gingerly off the wall and dialed Toni's number before closing herself in the pantry, getting comfortable on the floor.

 _"Hey, you. Right on time,"_ she could hear Toni smirking through the phone.

"You said midnight," Cheryl whispered, giggling a bit to herself, "Thanks for coming to check on me."

_"Hey, if I didn't, I would've been worrying about you all night. What happened when you go home?"_

"Um...my parents yelled a lot," she cleared her throat timidly, "They threw me in the shower and turned the hot water up as high as it would go."

_"What the hell?"_

"They call it a 'cleansing'. The hot water washes away the sin, and it hurts enough to be considered a punishment," Cheryl rolled her eyes.

_"So what, if you misbehave they try to boil you alive?"_

"Pretty much."

_"That's fucked up, no offense."_

"I think so too."

_"Do they do that a lot?"_ Toni's voice was soft and filled with concern. If Cheryl thought hard enough, she could pretend that she was right there with her.

"Not really. Last time was-" she cut herself off. She didn't want Toni to feel bad, "Never mind."

_"You can tell me, Cher."_

She sighed as a few tears formed in her eyes, flicking her tongue over her dry lips. "Last time was after what happened in the locker room...the day you got kicked off the Vixens. I told my mom what happened, how you...made me touch you, and she held my hands under hot water for it." Toni was quiet on the other end. She knew she shouldn't have said anything. "Please say something," Cheryl whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek at the faint sound of sniffling on the other end. 

_"I'm so sorry,"_ Toni whispered in her ear, still sniffling, _"I was such a bitch to you, Cheryl."_

"Please don't cry, TT," she cradled the phone to her ear, "You were pretty mean, yeah, but you're not anymore. I've already forgiven you for everything. It's hard to forget, I guess, but...I know you're not like that anymore. I forgive you," she repeated, her voice sincere.

_"You do?"_

"Do you think I'd be sitting in my kitchen pantry, risking getting in trouble just to talk to you if I didn't?" she smirked a bit to herself. At least that got a chuckle out of her girlfriend. 

_"I still don't know how I can ever apologize for everything. I mean, five years of bullying. I've got a lot of groveling to do,"_ Toni sniffled again with a bit of a laugh.

"How do you plan on doing that?" she bit her lip.

_"Well...do you think you can play jailbreak and come over tomorrow?"_

"I'm not sure yet. It depends on how my dad feels when he wakes up."

_"Well, call me if he cuts you loose. If not, I'll see you at school on Monday?"_

"Oh...that reminds me. He said I have to quit the newspaper team..." she winced.

_"What? Why?"_

"He didn't know that you were on the team. And they've got something against you for some reason. They don't want me around you."

_"Oh..."_

Cheryl bit her lip as she contemplated her next few words, wanting to make sure she didn't say the wrong thing. "...Toni, do you know why my parents are so against you and your family? They've had a problem with you for as long as I can remember. Even before I met you." Toni's silence on the other end confused her. Maybe she was just thinking of what could have possibly happened between their families. "...TT?"

_"I dunno, Cher. What are you gonna do about the paper?"_ she sounded frazzled. 

"Um...I'm not sure yet. I have to talk to Betty. Maybe my dad will change his mind."

_"Okay. I should go. I'm getting kinda tired..."_

"O-oh. Okay. I'll call you tomorrow if I can?"

_"Sure. Night, babe."_

"Ni-" she started before she heard the click and the dial tone. 

Had she said something wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> according to a twitter poll, readers wanted an update today instead of tomorrow and the next update will be on monday!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this fic has been picking up in popularity lately, and i just wanna say how happy i am that people are enjoying it so much! i didn't think it would get very far, considering it's an au and so ooc for most of the characters. but a lot of people have reached out to me and @whatmarianaa (WHO DREW SOME AMAZING ARTWORK BASED ON THIS STORY THAT I'LL LINK IN THE END NOTES) telling us how much they love it. so i speak for both of us when i say thank you soooo much for all the love and support!!

Cheryl opened the door to the photography lab early Monday morning. Toni was in the dark room. Or at least she assumed so, since her car was in the parking lot and she was in there just about every Monday morning before homeroom. She hadn't talked to her since their phone call Friday night. And the call hadn't ended on what Cheryl considered good terms. Toni had seemed upset after Cheryl had asked about what had happened between their families that made her parents hate her so much. She wasn't one to push, but she felt like everyone was in on some big secret and she wanted to know what it was. But maybe it was hidden from her for so long for a good reason.

"Toni?" she asked quietly, entering the red tinted room as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. 

"Hey," the brunette smiled at her as she hung up some prints. A smile was a good sign, right? 

Cheryl crossed the small room, toying timidly with the hem of her sleeves as she leaned in to kiss Toni's cheek.

"What was that for?" she chuckled, wiping her hands on a paper towel before kissing her girlfriend properly. She wasn't sure how bad her bruises were, but she wrapped her arms carefully around her waist, pulling her in closer. 

"I missed you," the redhead mumbled, pouting against her lips before tucking her face into her neck, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume.

"I missed you too," Toni giggled, "You never called on Saturday."

"I know, I'm sorry," she pulled back and tucked her hair behind her ear with a frown, "My parents pretty much had me on house arrest all day. But my dad said that if I cleaned up the mess that a bunch of _hooligans_ left in our yard, then he'd consider changing his mind about me leaving the newspaper."

Toni just laughed a little and shook her head, "Sorry about that."

"It's okay, I know you had good intentions," Cheryl smiled and kissed her again, letting her lips linger against hers, "What are you developing today?"

"Just the pictures from the dance. Figured I'd give them to Betty with a half-assed story of how things went," Toni shrugged, letting go of Cheryl to turn back to what she was doing.

"She'll probably be really impressed. And grateful, cause I don't think she had anything else to include in the paper this week."

Toni just snorted and shook her head. "I actually just wanted one of the pictures," she smiled a little. 

"Which one?" Cheryl's brow knit together in confusion as Toni pointed to one of the first ones she'd hung. The room was dark and the pictures weren't fully developed yet, but she could make out most of what it was. "Is that the one you took of me?" she blushed.

"Mmhm."

"What would you want that for?"

"I don't have any photos of you," Toni shrugged, biting her lip.

Cheryl was about to say something when they heard the door to the photography lab close outside the dark room, making her sigh instead, stepping away from Toni just as Mr. Clemmons stepped inside.

"Hi, girls. Working hard?"

"You bet, Mr. C," Toni smiled and nodded as she cleaned up, "I'll be back to pick these up at lunch."

Cheryl picked up her backpack and put it carefully on her shoulder, being careful of the bruises that still covered her back. They didn't hurt nearly as much as they did last week, but they still ached with enough applied pressure. 

"See you later, Toni," Cheryl bit her lip while Mr. Clemmons wasn't looking, sending her girlfriend a secret smile before leaving the dark room.

**xxx**

"What's up with you? You've been quiet all day," Toni nudged Cheryl gently as they sat at the top of the bleachers, bundled up from the cold as they ate lunch on Friday afternoon. "You've been pretty quiet all week, actually. Everything okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just worried, I guess," Cheryl sighed, her breath visible in the air in front of her as she moved closer to her girlfriend for warmth.

"About what?" 

"Well...Betty asked if I wanted to go to the drive-in with her and Archie tonight. I told her I'd think about it, but it got me thinking how much I'd rather go with you. But the drive-in is such a popular spot and everyone's always there...I'm just tired of finding ways to sneak around so I can be with you," she looked down at her lap with a frown, "Not that it's a burden to sneak around, I just mean...I wish we didn't _have_ to sneak around. Every time I lie to my parents about where I'm going, I wonder what my punishment will be if I get caught. Or what will happen to you if they find out the truth."

Toni just wrapped an arm around her waist, her own breathy sigh fogging the air in front of them as she leaned her head against Cheryl's. "I know what you mean. But it's just what we've gotta do for now, I guess."

"I just wish there was no reason for us to hide this," Cheryl whispered, sniffling with her head on Toni's shoulder, "It's not fair." She barely reacted when Toni's hand touched her cheek, lifting her head so she could press her cold lips to hers. She didn't want to seem ungrateful for the time that she did get to spend with her, but hiding something like this from everyone they knew was more exhausting than she thought. 

"It's better than nothing, right?" Toni whispered, keeping their foreheads pressed together as she cupped Cheryl's cheek.

"Of course," she nodded, smiling as Toni wiped the stray tears from her flushed cheeks. 

"So, if you're not too sick of sneaking around with me..." Toni stopped to laugh a little when Cheryl shoved her playfully, "What are the chances you'd wanna meet me somewhere tonight?"

"Is it another surprise?" she rolled her eyes with a giggle at Toni's nod, "I guess I can put up with sneaking around for another night." She smirked, though it dropped to a slight frown when the end of lunch bell rang.

"You know where Dupree's is?" Toni asked, starting to stand up to grab her backpack. 

"The restaurant? Yeah..."

"Meet me there at seven."

"But-" the redhead was cut off by a quick peck to her cold lips. And Toni was already on her way down the bleachers by the time she opened her eyes again.

**xxx**

Cheryl parked her car towards the back of the parking lot of Dupree's at seven o'clock sharp. She had been worried all afternoon about this. Why would Toni want to meet up at a restaurant on the north side? On a Friday night, no less. Dupree's wasn't the most popular restaurant in town, but the food was good enough that at least one Riverdale High couple was there every Friday night for a date. Her parents were under the impression that she was at the drive in with Betty and Archie. They were definitely there, so the lie she told shouldn't backfire this time. She pulled the zipper up on her navy blue sweatshirt. It wasn't cold enough for her winter jacket, but it was much too cold to go without some kind of outerwear over her long sleeved shirt.

"Psst!" she heard from behind her after closing her door. Looking around curiously, she pushed her glasses up and looked for the source of the noise, locking eyes with Toni just after hearing it again. She was standing at the corner of the building, beckoning her over. Making sure the coast was clear, Cheryl crossed the parking lot, ducking into the shadows of the back of the building with Toni. 

"What are we doing?" she whispered, looking Toni up and down. How she managed to always pull off a denim jacket with matching jeans was beyond her. 

"Just follow me," Toni smiled after pecking her lips, holding her hand as she lead her further behind the restaurant. 

"Are we having dinner here or something?" 

"You gotta learn to just enjoy the ride, babe," she chuckled, stopping near a ladder that was securely fastened to the brick wall, gesturing for Cheryl to go first, but Cheryl just eyed the slightly rusted metal ladder skeptically, glancing back at Toni with confusion all over her face. "Trust me, okay?"

Cheryl bit her lip, looking at the ladder again before grabbing onto one of the cold bars, climbing up until she reached the top. "What are we doing up here?" she asked with a growing smile, stepping onto the flat roof as Toni came up behind her. There wasn't anything on the roof except for a blanket, some to-go containers and a small hand-held radio.

"Well," Toni started, going to retrieve the two items, gesturing for Cheryl to follow her to the other side of the rooftop, "I know you wanted to go to the drive-in. And it totally sucks that we can't exactly go there without being noticed. But...lucky you, your girlfriend knows a good alternative."

"What do you mean?" her brows furrowed from under her glasses.

Toni just switched on the little radio and sat down on the floor against the short brick wall at the edge of the roof. "C'mere," she waved her over as she fiddled with the battery operated radio, tuning it in after pulling up the antenna. 

Cheryl's confused look didn't drop, even after she was sitting beside Toni, letting the brunette wrap the blanket around their shoulders. "I still don't get it," she muttered, watching her as she turned the knobs and dials. 

_"Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby,"_ the song started to come in clearly from the radio, confusing the redhead even more. But when she glanced up, she figured out the surprise. It had been behind her when she climbed up the ladder, and completely unnoticeable from the ground. But not too far in the distance down the hill, only a little blocked by the tall pine trees, was the screen from the Twilight Drive-In, a vintage cartoon ad for concessions playing on the screen.

Toni laughed as realization visibly took over Cheryl's face, her eyes wide in surprise and her jaw slacked. "I'm hoping you're speechless in a good way."

"How did you..." Cheryl trailed off, shocked that Toni would even come up with something like this. 

"My dad used to work here at Dupree's when he was a teenager. He was just a bus boy and did dishes," Toni explained, waving a hand, "And when he met my mom, he couldn't afford to bring her anywhere for their first date. But he knew that you could see the drive-in from the roof, so he took her up here."

Cheryl looked back at Toni to listen. She was always curious about her family, and the brunette always seemed to act so carefree whenever she talked about them. But for the first time, it seemed like Toni was showing her true emotions. Cheryl never wanted Toni to hurt or cry, but seeing a tear slip down her cheek while she talked about her parents made her feel something inside that she just couldn't identify.

"This became their spot. My dad would get food from downstairs, sneak up here, and they would have their own little private movie date almost every weekend," Toni continued, wiping her cheek on the back of her hand. "We used to come up here all the time when I was a kid, that's how I knew about it. We'd just huddle under a blanket and watch whatever movie was playing. Sometimes the radio batteries would die and we'd just start making up words that people were saying on the screen," she laughed a little at the memory, making Cheryl smile. 

"You miss them a lot, don't you?" she whispered, a few tears slipping from her own eyes when Toni ducked her head and nodded. She didn't need to see her face to know that she was holding a lot in. Her shoulders were shaking as well as her hands. "It's okay to miss them, TT. You don't always have to brush it off like it wasn't a big deal," she pulled her in for a hug. Toni hugged her tightly as she cried about her parents for the first time in years. Cheryl knew that this was a big deal, so she didn't even complain when Toni squeezed her arms over the fading bruises on her back. "It doesn't make you weak to miss people, Toni," she whispered, her fingers tangling in her wavy brown curls as her girlfriend trembled in her arms. 

They sat like that for a while, wrapped in the blanket for a while as advertisements from the drive-in played over the radio. The sun had gone down, so the movie was due to start any minute. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all...emotional like that," Toni sniffled through a light laugh, wiping her eyes as she pulled back slowly from the hug. 

"Don't be sorry, I want you to feel like you can tell me anything," Cheryl kissed her damp cheek with a warm, sympathetic smile. 

"I, um...I haven't been up here since they died," she muttered, shaking her head slightly before glancing up at the redhead, "But I wanted to bring you here, cause...cause it's special to me, and so are you and I feel like I can trust you and tell y-" she was cut off by Cheryl's lips against hers, her eyes closing as her hands came up to rest the sides of her neck. 

Cheryl held Toni's face in her hands, pouring everything she had into the kiss. She'd kissed her plenty of times before, but this felt different. It felt new, like she was kissing her for the first time, making her heart beat wildly in her chest. When she kissed Toni, she felt like she could take on the world. She could forget about her parents and her tragic childhood and just be herself. With Toni, it was like everything in her life finally made sense. 

"Thank you for telling me. And for taking me here," she whispered, pulling away slowly, cuddling up to her under the blanket as the movie started.

"Thanks for not freaking out and running away when I told you to climb the ladder," Toni snorted a bit of a laugh, sniffling from her leftover tears and kissed her temple. 

"What movie are they showing?" Cheryl giggled, playing with Toni's slim fingers under the blanket. 

"No idea, that's part of the surprise, I guess. But I heard it's a double feature tonight if you wanna stay for both."

Cheryl just nodded, finding that she didn't even really care what was playing. She could sit here in the cold under the clear dark sky with Toni for forever.

**xxx**

"You're cheating!"

"No, I'm not!" Cheryl laughed as her thumb successfully covered Toni's in her third consecutive thumb war victory. Jumanji had finished a while ago and the second movie wasn't holding their attention as much. They forgot whose idea it was to play this game, but fiddling with each other's fingers had turned into a game of thumb war. And from that, they had decided that whoever lost each round had to share something about themselves that the other didn't already know.

"Okay fine, lemme think," Toni scoffed, rolling her eyes with a smile. "I never actually liked cheerleading."

"What?" Cheryl's mouth gaped open in surprise, "But you were so good at it."

"I was good at it, yeah, but I preferred the gymnastics and dance parts of it, rather than the actual cheering," she shrugged. "Veronica and Josie and I all tried out in sixth grade and it just kinda stuck for all of us. I think I was the only one who really didn't like it."

"Yeah, Veronica seems to love being the captain."

"A little too much," the brunette rolled her eyes again before starting up the next round, giggling out a groan as she struggled against Cheryl's thumb before she was pinned down again, "This isn't fair, you have longer thumbs than me!"

"No I don't, I'm just better at this than you are," Cheryl nearly cackled as she won once again, "Spill."

"Ugh," she huffed as she thought of another truth to tell. She had told at least ten so far, while Cheryl had only told three, "I've never owned a Barbie doll."

"Me either."

"Really? I didn't cause we were poor, what's your excuse?" Toni chuckled.

"My parents didn't like them," she shrugged, "They didn't want me getting any ideas about vanity...or girls. Next round."

"No, you tell me something first, cause at this point you're gonna know my whole life story before I find out what your favorite animal is," Toni pulled her hand away, shaking her head with a smirk. 

"Ducks," Cheryl mirrored her sly grin, reaching for her hand again, but Toni just pulled back farther, giggling.

"Fine...I'm terrified of bees. As a kid, if I saw anything with yellow and black stripes I would freak out."

"That's so cute," Toni chuckled, finally hooking their fingers together again for another thumb war, sighing as Cheryl managed to beat her within a matter of seconds. With a huff, she looked up at her girlfriend's smug face and flicked her tongue over her lips. "I had other options when I got kicked off the Vixens. I just said that mathletes and newspaper were my only two options so I didn't look so suspicious joining the newspaper team to spend more time with you." 

The smirk fell from Cheryl's face as she looked across the small space at her, wondering if she had heard her right. "What?"

"I _chose_ to join newspaper. Out of _all_ the after school activities. It wasn't a last resort kind of thing like I've been making it out to be."

"Just so you could spend time with me?" her voice was quiet, still in shock.

"Well, that and you guys seriously needed a more competent photographer, no offense," Toni smirked, biting her lip as she watched Cheryl's face turn a deep shade of pink. 

"That's...really sweet. I had no idea."

"I didn't want anyone to know before," she shrugged, holding her hand out for another game.

"My twin brother died when we were ten," Cheryl blurted, telling her secret without even having to thumb wrestle her again. Toni seemed to stiffen visibly as she looked her in the eyes. As always when she was nervous, Cheryl's palms began to sweat. She'd referenced Jason a few times to Toni, but never managed to open up about his death. "He was killed in a car accident on the way back from a baseball game." It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. For the longest time, she allowed herself to mourn her brother, but she never allowed herself to talk about him. Whereas Toni seemed to have no problem talking about her parents, but never mourned them properly. But she had opened up to her about her parents tonight, so it was only fair if she did the same. 

Toni bit her lip and glanced down at her lap. Unsure of what to say. "I'm so sorry, Cher," she whispered, looking back up at her. "What was he like?" she asked boldly, holding her breath as she prepared for an answer.

"Jason was...the best. There was a time when I couldn't imagine my life without him. We were inseparable. I didn't think it was even possible for us to be apart," Cheryl whispered, her eyes tearing up a bit as Toni scooted closer to her. 

"You can tell me about him...if you want," Toni offered hesitantly, reaching out to hold her in a comforting hug. 

"I will someday. But I feel like if I start now, I won't be able to stop, and it's already getting late," she sniffled, wiping her eyes with a slight smile. 

"I'm glad you told me..."

"Me too."

Curling into Toni, Cheryl sighed contently, practically purring in her arms as the brunette held her close. She'd never felt closer to her, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't scare her a little. The credits for the second movie started to roll not too long after, signaling that it was time for them to say goodbye, which they were both dreading. 

"Thank you for tonight, this was amazing," Cheryl leaned up to kiss her slowly, lifting herself up to stretch. This was worth all the lower back pain she was going to be feeling tomorrow, "Next time I get to take _you_ somewhere."

"Hey, I'll go anywhere you wanna take me," Toni smiled into the kiss, getting up to grab everything she'd taken here with her. 

"What if I wanna take you skydiving?"

"Just make sure I've got a parachute," Toni laughed a little, shivering under her denim jacket once the blanket was folded up. 

"What were you thinking just wearing a denim jacket on a night outside in November?" Cheryl shook her head.

"Hey, this is my _outfit_ ," Toni gestured down to her body as if the answer were obvious. 

With a slight smile and a shake of her head, Cheryl unzipped her hoodie, draping it over Toni's shoulders.

"No, babe, now you're gonna get cold," Toni tried to shrug the jacket off, but Cheryl just eased her arms into it.

"My car has good heating for the ride home."

The brunette just smiled as a slight blush came over her cheeks, watching as Cheryl zipped it up for her before catching her lips with her own. "Thanks," she whispered, making Cheryl's heart flutter.

"You're welcome," she whispered back, following her down the ladder and back down to the ground, "I wish I could spend the night at your place again."

"That reminds me, my uncle's gonna be back next week, so I probably won't be able to hang out after school or talk on the phone until he goes back out of town."

"Oh."

"But I'll still see you at school," Toni offered, "Call me if it's important, though, okay? Don't feel like you can't come to me for an emergency. Promise."

"I promise," Cheryl nodded, linking her pinky finger with Toni's as the brunette kissed her once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @whatmarianaa DREW THIS AND IM STILL F L O O R E D OVER IT. THE PINK SCRUNCHIE, TONI'S SMIRK SKSKSHSHSK https://whatmarianaa.tumblr.com/post/179492670011/if-reposting-please-credit-me-cheryl-and-toni


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes. the return of our beloved tommy.

Like every Monday morning, Cheryl left her house early and took off for school without so much as a goodbye to her parents. Monday mornings were her time to be alone with Toni at school before classes started. And after Friday night, she found herself physically craving her presence. Even if it was only for twenty minutes before school started. Unfortunately, Mr. Clemmons was also one to show up earlier than necessary. 

Driving into the parking lot, she pulled into her spot, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when she didn't see Toni's car. She was always here before her. Maybe she was just running late today. Would it be weird if she waited in front of the photography lab for her? Toni apparently picked the lock in the morning to get in, and Cheryl wouldn't know how to pick a lock if her life depended on it. She climbed the stairs and set her backpack down on the floor to wait. She checked her watch every few minutes. No sign of Toni. She was starting to really worry. She'd probably picked at every split end at the bottom of her braid by the time Mr. Clemmons showed up.

"Hey there, Cheryl. No Toni today?" the older man approached her after she had been waiting for a half hour, the jingling of his keys breaking her from her worried trance. 

"I guess not. I-I was just gonna see if she left anything for me to give to Betty today," she lied, standing up with a bit of a nervous smile. 

"She didn't drop anything off on Friday," he unlocked the door, going inside. Cheryl stayed outside the door, biting her lip. 

Where could Toni be?

She lingered around outside the door until the bell rang, leaving her no choice but to make her way to homeroom. Maybe she would show up for gym class.

**xxx**

Biting her nails was a nervous habit of Cheryl's. And currently, her thumb nail was being bitten down to the root. Toni wasn't in gym. She wasn't at her lunch table. There was no sign of her at all. Cheryl was halfway tempted to ask Veronica if she'd heard from her.

"I'll be right back," she mumbled, gathering all her belongings into her backpack, barely earning a nod from Betty before she left the cafeteria. There was a pay phone by the parking lot and she was already fishing through her coin purse for some dimes as she made her way over to it. 

Holding the phone to her ear, she fumbled with her change as she put them in the machine, dialing Toni's number and saying a silent prayer that she would pick up. She was so paranoid about being found out and something happening to Toni ever since her parents caught them together at the dance two weeks ago. 

_"Topaz,"_ a tired and nasally, but familiar, comforting voice sounded in her ear, making her whole body relax for the first time since this morning.

"Hey, how come you're not at school?" she asked quietly, looking around in case anyone was close enough to hear her. 

_"I woke up with a fever on Saturday. Turns out my outfit for Friday night wasn't the best idea, as cute as I thought it was,"_ Toni mumbled with a weak laugh, making Cheryl's heart beat even faster.

"I'm sorry you're sick, baby," she let the term of endearment slip without even thinking, a heavy blush taking over her cheeks. But Toni spoke again before she could even explain herself.

 _"I'll live. I just feel like shit,"_ she coughed.

"Is your uncle in town already?"

 _"No, he won't get in til tomorrow afternoon,"_ Toni sniffled, _"Why?"_

"Maybe I can come keep you company? I can bring you some soup from Pop's or something."

_"You don't wanna be around me, babe, it's pretty gross. There's tissues everywhere and I don't want you to get sick too."_

"I don't care, I wanna come take care of you."

 _"You're somethin' else, Blossom,"_ Toni's chuckle over the phone made her smile.

"I'll see if I can get permission to skip study hall. If I can, I'll be over by three."

 _"Thanks,"_ she sniffled before coughing.

"I'll see you then," she sighed before they said their goodbyes and hung up. How was she going to do this?

She rushed back into school, back to her usual table in the cafeteria and tugged gently on Betty's arm after she sat down. "Betts, I need a favor," she whispered. 

"What is it?" her blues eyes darted back and forth, leaning in for the private conversation.

"I've gotta go see Tommy after school," Cheryl told her quietly, referencing the fake boyfriend she'd made up for Betty, "I just need you to cover for me again if my parents call. I'm gonna tell them that I'm going to your house tonight."

"Cheryl, I really don't think I can lie to your parents again. I've finally forgiven myself for the last lie I told them," the blonde sighed, reaching up to tighten her ponytail. 

"Betty, please? He needs my help...If they don't call your house, you don't even have to worry about it."

"Cheryl..." Betty sighed. The redhead could see the cogs turning in her head as she thought about it. She was desperate. "Okay fine."

"Thank you , thank you so much," she felt her shoulders relax as she hugged her best friend, wincing a little when she squeezed back. The bruises on her back still hurt. 

"Do I get to meet this guy anytime soon?"

"Depends on if things work out," Cheryl blushed through a shy smile, tucking loose hairs from her french braid behind her ear.

**xxx**

Cheryl managed to get out of study hall. She was getting straight A's in her classes and was all caught up on her work, so there was really no reason that she had to stay. As a precautionary measure, she called her father's office to tell him that she was going to Betty's for dinner after their newspaper meeting (thankfully, he had come around and let her stay on the team). She told him that she would be home by her nine o'clock curfew and even topped it off with a sickeningly sweet, _"I love you, daddy,"_ to seal the deal. If she was going to get away with things like this from now on, she was going to have to prove that she was their sweet, well-behaved daughter like she always had been.

It was all an act, though, now that she was driving to Pop's. She was nervous about leaving her car there and walking to Sunnyside Trailer Park. But she didn't have any other choice. She wasn't going to make Toni get up to come get her. The neighborhood wasn't too far away. Maybe a ten minute walk, tops. It was daylight and all the Southside High students should still be in school.

"Thank you, Mr. Tate," Cheryl smiled at Pop Tate, pushing her glasses up as she took the small brown bag and styrofoam cup from the older man.

"Any time, Miss Cheryl," he nodded before Cheryl left the diner. She took a deep breath and pulled the hood of her jacket up before starting her walk. Thankfully it was cold or else she would look just plain suspicious. 

She crossed the train tracks, already stumbling a little over the cracked, uneven pavement. Her heart pounded in her chest the whole time. She'd never been alone on the south side before. It was kind of exciting, but terrifying at the same time. Like how she felt when she was with Toni. She didn't know what she was expecting when she crossed the tracks. As a kid, her overactive imagination made her believe that if you crossed the train tracks to the south side, it immediately turned dark and scary like something out of a horror movie. But the sun was still shining and the birds were still chirping. If anything, she walked with more confidence, though a small part of her was still afraid. 

Picking up the pace, she walked briskly past the small billboard for the trailer park, following the dirt road. It was a surprisingly quiet neighborhood, she'd noticed. At night, she could hear people making a ruckus outside, or playing loud music, but it was actually peaceful during the day. When she saw Toni's trailer, she broke out into a jog, being careful not to spill the container of soup in the brown bag. Her backpack bounced painfully against her shoulder blades, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She jogged until she was up on the concrete steps, knocking on the cheap wooden door. She could hear the footsteps approaching from inside, making her heart thump faster than it already was. But she felt like her heart would completely beat out of her chest when Toni opened the door, wrapped in a blanket with Cheryl's navy hoodie underneath, looking completely miserable.

"Hey," she sniffled, stepping aside so Cheryl could come in, "Sorry the place is a pig sty."

"Don't be sorry," Cheryl smiled, kissing her warm cheek after the door was closed, "I didn't know what kind of soup you'd want, so I got regular chicken noodle."

"My favorite."

The redhead just smiled and took off her jacket, draping it over one of the chairs at the small kitchen table, sitting down across from Toni to unpack the small bag. She slid the container of soup to her, along with the packets of crackers and plastic spoon that Pop had packed. "I got you a milkshake too. I thought it would help your throat if it's sore," she gave her a small smile. 

"You didn't have to do this," Toni shook her head with a tiny grin of her own as she opened the container carefully.

"I wanted to make sure you were taken care of," Cheryl shrugged, "Have you taken any medicine?"

"I've been taking it, but I don't think it's doing anything."

"Do you still have a fever?" she reached across the small table to feel her forehead. But her hands were still cold from being outside, so she couldn't tell if she was really warm or not.

"I got it down, but it's still ninety-nine point something last I checked," Toni's voice was so nasally. She didn't have a bit of makeup on and her hair was tied up in a bun. Cheryl thought she looked just as pretty as ever. Even as far back as seventh grade, she was so used to seeing Toni with makeup on and she couldn't remember the last time she saw her without it, if ever. 

"Ibuprofen will help lower it," she nodded, her voice quiet and comforting. 

Toni ate her soup quietly while Cheryl tried not to stare. She fiddled with the ends of her braid as she enjoyed the comfortable silence. 

"Did I miss anything interesting in gym?"

"Just a lot of jogging," Cheryl snorted, shaking her head.

"Glad I missed it then," Toni laughed weakly before coughing.

**xxx**

Cheryl's soothing voice was the only sound in the trailer with the exception of the whistling heater and Toni's sniffling. She was on the worn out couch with a library book in her right hand while she massaged Toni's scalp with her left. The brunette had her head in her lap, trying to stay awake. But Cheryl's voice mixed with her sickness and the scalp massage was making her fade quickly. The redhead continued to read quietly, though Toni had fallen fast asleep in her lap. She needed her rest. She kept trying to stay up to talk to her, not wanting to fall asleep, but Cheryl had a feeling that her little trick would work. She still had a few hours before she needed to go home, and she didn't mind staying while Toni slept. She just hoped that she would wake up before she had to leave.

The chapter came to an end and she put the book down slowly, looking down at her peacefully sleeping girlfriend. She was so pale but her nose and cheeks were tinted pink. Cheryl hated seeing her so miserable, but she loved getting to take care of her. She eased her way out from under her, carefully settling her head down on a pillow before starting to move around the trailer, picking up used tissues to throw in the trash. Her uncle was going to be back in town tomorrow, and she was sure that the man didn't want to come home to a mess. She didn't know him, but if he was anything like her father, he would flip out over something as small as a piece of trash on the floor. 

After getting the tissues picked up, she quietly ran the sink, scrubbing and drying the piled up dishes before putting them in their proper cabinets. She knew Toni wouldn't be happy about her doing all this, but Cheryl didn't mind helping out. 

While she picked up dirty laundry from Toni's room, she caught a glimpse of a new photo hanging by her bed. It was the one that she had spontaneously taken of her at the Halloween dance. All she was doing was standing there, holding a paper cup of punch while she looked shyly down at her shoes. It was the only photo she had of her, just like Toni said. Sighing, she finished picking up clothes, bringing them to the small closet in the hallway where the washer and dryer were. 

Toni coughed in the living room, getting her attention after she had the machine running. Rushing over, she knelt in front of the couch, feeling her forehead and stroking her hair gently. She was still half asleep, but didn't even open her eyes. Once she settled back down, Cheryl kissed her forehead, letting her lips linger on the warm skin for a moment before getting back up, unsure of what to do to. As much as she wanted to nap with her girlfriend, she didn't want to risk oversleeping and missing her curfew. 

She lifted Toni's head back into her lap when she sat down on the couch again, soothing her back to sleep when she stirred. Keeping the TV on the lowest possible volume that she could still hear, she watched some old reruns of different sitcoms, trying to keep her laughter to a minimum so she didn't disturb her sleeping girlfriend. But after a few reruns of Cheers, Toni finally began to wake up, moaning quietly as she rolled onto her back and blinked her eyes open.

"You're still here," she commented, mumbling sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Is that okay?" Cheryl chuckled a little, her chest tightening when Toni just nodded and rolled over so her face was up against her stomach. 

"Thank you for taking care of me," her voice was muffled by the redhead's sweater.

"You're welcome, TT," she whispered, her fingertips still gently massaging Toni's scalp, running her fingers through her hair.

The brunette got up to use the bathroom, giving Cheryl the freedom to go move the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. 

"Did you clean?" Toni asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"I just picked up some things," she shrugged, starting the dryer. 

"You did the dishes and my laundry," Toni commented, walking closer as she looked around.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't know if you'd be well enough to clean before your uncle came home, and I didn't know if he would be mad at you for the mess...Not that it was a mess, it's just my dad-"

"Babe, you didn't have to do that. Yeah, he probably wouldn't have been happy about me not keeping his place clean, but you didn't have to clean for me," she shook her head, wrapping her arms around her carefully and resting her head on her shoulder, "But thank you. I appreciate it." Cheryl just smiled and kissed her forehead again. She wanted to kiss her for real, but every time she had tried today, Toni refused, not wanting to get her sick. "How are your back and arms doing? It's been what? Two weeks?"

"Almost. They still hurt a little. My back hurts more than anything, but the bruises are fading," she mumbled, leading her back over to the couch, laying down with her this time and letting her lay against her chest.

"Good."

Cheryl rubbed Toni's back, her fingers moving up under the layers of clothing she had on to access the soft, caramel skin underneath. The brunette hummed contently, making her smile as she kept going, the palm of her hand slowly caressing her warm, bare skin. She knew she liked when Toni did that for her, and she was glad to see that it made her happy too.

"Do you think you're gonna go to school tomorrow?" she asked quietly over the laugh track of whatever show was on now.

"Depends on how I feel in the morning," Toni sighed.

"I can bring your homework to you after school if you don't. Now that I'm not afraid to walk here," she chuckled.

"Wait, you _walked_ here?" Toni looked up at her, leaning up on her elbows, "Are you crazy?"

"I parked at Pop's, it was barely a ten minute walk..."

"Cher, I don't even like to walk around here alone. And I _live_ over here."

"I'm fine, though. Nothing happened."

"How are you planning on getting back to Pop's? It's almost dark out."

"I was gonna walk back..."

Toni let out a sarcastic laugh and shook her head. "Hell no, _not_ happening. I'll drive you back."

"No, Toni, you're sick. I'll be fine. It's only ten minutes."

"Cheryl, I'm not letting you walk around alone outside for even a second. I guess it's not so bad when the sun's up, but after sunset this place is actually dangerous. I can drive for three minutes to Pop's to make sure you're safe."

"I can call Betty to pick me up. I don't want you driving."

"How exactly are you gonna explain to Betty why you're in South Riverdale at night?"

"I um...I kinda told her that I had a secret boyfriend. I told her I was going to 'his' house today," she muttered, holding up air quotes.

"You _what_?" Toni's brown eyes widened, her shoulders shaking with a small fit of laughter.

"I wanted to tell her about you, but I knew I couldn't, so I pretty much...turned you into a guy named Tommy," Cheryl blushed, giggling.

"Oh my god, you couldn't have come up with _any_ other name?" she laughed harder, coughing through a bit of it, "What does she know?"

"Well, she thinks your name is Tommy, that my parents wouldn't approve of you, and most of the details of our first date. And she thinks you're really romantic," Cheryl bit her lip and dipped her head shyly. 

"I guess I am," Toni shrugged with a smirk.

"I should call her now," the redhead sighed.

"I really don't mind driving you, babe. It's just up the road."

"No, TT, you need your rest."

"I've rested plenty, Cher."

"Tell you what," Cheryl smirked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, "I'll let you drive me back to Pop's if you let me kiss you."

Toni just groaned and laid her head back down, "That's fighting dirty, I don't want you to get sick." 

"Then I'm calling her," she grinned victoriously, starting to get up to make her phone call.

"Ugh, fine, but if you get sick you can't blame me," Toni huffed, pulling her back down and pecking her lips quickly before she could say anything else. 

"Hey, that doesn't count, I wasn't ready," Cheryl giggled.

"You wanted a kiss, I kissed you," she laughed with her, finding her giggling so contagious. 

"TT," the younger girl pouted at her, " _Please_?"

Toni watched as her bottom lip poked out the tiniest bit, unable to resist anymore. She closed the small space between them and pressed her lips against hers, smiling a bit to herself when Cheryl pulled her closer. The kisses were slow and soft, but still full of passion. Cheryl didn't even mind the risk of getting sick too.

"Happy?" Toni smirked, her forehead against hers after they pulled back. 

Cheryl just nodded, kissing her one more time, "Very."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy lives matter.
> 
> also next update (which will be saturday!) will KIND OF have something that quite a few of you have been asking for, so stay tuned!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe

A sigh escaped Cheryl's lips as she went through her closet. Thanksgiving was coming up and someone at church was organizing a clothing drive to donate to those less fortunate in town. She was having a hard time deciding what to donate. She didn't like any of her clothes anymore, with the exception of a few. But she couldn't exactly donate everything. She packed away a few sweaters that she rarely wore. Anything with kittens, horses, or embellished unicorns on it were definitely being donated, as much as she loved those just a few years ago. They came with memories of Toni that she would rather put behind her. 

"Cheryl, your father and I are going to the Cooper's for tea, would you like to join us?" her mother knocked, poking her head in. The tension in the house hadn't been as bad lately. She was still seeing Toni behind her parents' backs, but only after school if it was possible. She was home for dinner every night and she obeyed their wishes, even working extra hard to keep the house clean so they didn't have to ask. But every smile she gave them was fake. She had to force herself to kiss their cheeks and tell them that she loved them, even though she rarely heard it back. But if that was what it took to keep them off her back, then she could deal with it.

"No thank you, Mommy. I'm still deciding what to donate for Ms. Robinson's clothing drive," she said sweetly.

"All right well, we'll tell Elizabeth you said hello," Penelope nodded. 

"Thank you," the youngest Blossom called as her mother left the room. Once she heard the sound of the front door closing and her father's Firebird rev down the driveway, Cheryl sighed, going to plop down on her bed. She was so tired of these four walls and the bland white ceiling above her. While her bedroom was the size of half of Toni's trailer, she wished that she was there now, curled up with her girlfriend on her twin bed. The size of the space didn't matter as long as she could be with her. 

She'd just seen her at school yesterday, but she missed Toni like crazy. She was finally starting to understand all the romantic songs she heard on the radio. She never understood why people insisted on talking so much about their boyfriends and girlfriends. But the persistent image of Toni's smile in her head made her understand. Keeping the image in her head, she reached under her mattress for her sketchbook, eyebrows furrowing when her fingers met with something else. She pulled it out and swallowed hard. 

_The Young Girl's Guide to Sex and Puberty_

It was the book Toni had given her a few weeks ago. She'd completely forgotten about it. Flipping through the pages, she found herself glancing at detailed diagrams of the reproductive system and little cartoons of preteen girls going through bodily changes. While she wasn't an expert on the subject, she knew about puberty. Maybe not the minor facts and details that the book had listed, but she knew enough, considering she'd gone through it. Mrs. Cooper had actually been the one to teach her about hygiene products, since she had first gotten her period while she was at Betty's house for a sleepover. She was grateful for her best friend's mother, because she would have been too scared to confide in her own.

She paused when she approached the second half of the book. The word _'sex'_ in big letters on the page had her fingers shaking nervously, not sure what to expect when she flipped to the next. But she held her breath and bravely turned the page, biting the inside of her cheek. Just like the puberty portion of the book, there were diagrams and cartoons that made her feel like she was looking at some kind of pornography. She felt like she had to check her surroundings to make sure no one was reading over her shoulder, despite the fact that she was alone in her own bedroom. Turning the pages, she bit her lip as she read about STD's and the risk of pregnancy that came without using some kind of contraception.

_"So you've never touched yourself? Or had an orgasm?"_ Toni's voice was in her head as she remembered the conversation they had just before she gave her the book. She had seen the word _'orgasm'_ a few times throughout this chapter. It told her what it was, but never once did it explain what it was like. All it gave her was statistics and a list of the most common erogenous zones. _"You would know if you have, trust me,"_ Toni's lightly chuckling voice in her memories made her sigh. A small part of Cheryl wished that her girlfriend was here to explain these things to her, but a much larger part was way too embarrassed to even tell her that she had read the book. 

She flipped through the rest of the book and sighed, hiding it back under her bed, not bothering to pull out her sketchbook. The muse wasn't really there anymore. She may have known more facts, but she didn't feel educated. She thought that after reading that book, she would feel ready to take that next step with Toni. But she felt just as naive as she had before, still scared and unsure of what to expect. 

Her feet slid down to the floor and into her bunny slippers before she went downstairs, making a beeline for the phone mounted on the wall. She wished she had her own line in her room or at least a cordless phone like the one at Toni's house that she could move around with. She dialed Toni's number and leaned against the wall, frowning just a little when it just kept ringing.

_"You've reached Frank Topaz. I'm not in right now, so leave your name and number at the beep,"_ a man's voice spoke to her from a recorded line. But she hung up before the beep, not wanting to leave a message. According to Toni, her uncle was going to be going back out of town today after staying all week. But where was _she_? It was Saturday, so maybe she was out with her friends. Wherever she was, the redhead felt a slight twinge of sadness when she pushed herself off the wall and back up the stairs. She missed her.

Falling into her bed, she tucked herself under the covers. It was still pretty early in the day. Maybe a nap was all she needed to clear her mind.

**xxx**

Toni's lips were warm and soft against hers as Cheryl pulled her closer. They were on the worn out brown sofa in Toni's living room, the redhead gripping eagerly onto the roots of her girlfriend's hair as their endless series of fervent kisses continued. Toni hummed against her lips, her tongue gliding smoothly against her own. Tanned fingers held tightly to Cheryl's hips, tugging her down against the older girl's lap until she was settled with her knees on either side.

She ground her hips down, whimpering as she rocked against Toni's thighs. She couldn't feel anything there. The knot in her stomach was growing bigger and tugging tighter than ever before, but she couldn't make it go away. " _TT_ ," she whined against her lips, trying to feel something, anything. But all she could feel was Toni's lips on her as they made a trail of dizzying kisses down to the pale skin of her neck. 

Pulling back, Cheryl reached desperately for the hem of her girlfriend's tight t-shirt, lifting it over her head and off her arms before the brunette did the same, tugging the pink kitten sweater off of her. Why was she wearing that? 

"Where do you want me to touch you, baby?" Toni's voice was sultry in her ear as she kissed back up to her lips. Cheryl felt like her head was about to explode if her body didn't catch on fire first. She could feel the knot tightening inside her still, making her squirm in her girlfriend's lap with a needy whimper. 

Without a word, she took Toni's hand bravely, guiding her tan fingers down her bare torso until they reached the elastic waistband of her plain cotton underwear. Where did her pants go? Was she ever wearing them to begin with? Tearing her lips from hers, Cheryl could see her glasses fogging up with Toni's hot breath as she looked down at the limited space between them. Her heartbeat picked up speed watching skilled, slim fingers dip under the fabric.

"Do you feel that?" Toni whispered, panting in her ear. But she didn't feel _anything_. She couldn't even feel her breath or lips on her skin anymore. She was numb all over. All she could feel was the knot growing, tightening, and tugging deep inside her.

"No, I can't feel anything," she panted, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. The uncomfortably tight feeling in her gut was too strong, taking over her entire body as she writhed, desperate to feel something else. She pressed her lips hard to Toni's, practically sobbing against her when she couldn't feel the touch of her pillowy soft lips or even taste her mango lip balm. Tears sprung to her eyes as she kissed her again and again, trying to feel something, but all she was met with was more numbness and the growing ache inside her. 

"Toni," she looked up at her, scared that she was broken. Why couldn't she feel anything? She watched as the brunette lifted her free hand, trailing it up to squeeze her bicep, making her cry out in pain. Her arms were suddenly littered with black and blue bruises. All she could feel was pain. The pain from her discolored skin, the ache in her gut. "Please stop, that hurts," her voice was weak, a tear slipping down her cheek as Toni squeezed her arm again. 

_"Toni-"_

Cheryl blinked her eyes open as the sun shined in her eyes. She had been napping for almost two hours. Her arm was twisted awkwardly and painfully beneath her body before she sat up, wiping the drool from the side of her mouth with a yawn. She couldn't even tell what kind of dream that was. Was it a good dream? Was it a nightmare? Whatever it was, her heart was pounding in her chest. Clearing her throat as the images played over and over again in her head, she got out of bed, practically running downstairs for the phone, wanting to try to get a hold of Toni again. Her finger hesitated over the buttons as she bit her lip, dialing a different number instead.

_"Cooper residence,"_ Betty's mom answered with her typical cheery voice. 

"Hi, Mrs. Cooper, it's Cheryl. Are my parents still there?"

_"They are, did you want to talk to them?"_

"No, thank you, I was just wondering what time they would be home. I was going to make myself a snack, but I don't want to spoil my dinner if they're gonna be home soon," she wrapped an arm around herself nervously. She still wasn't confident in her lying skills. 

_"I think they've decided to join us for dinner tonight. You're welcome to come on over. We're having baked chicken."_

"Oh okay. I'll pass, but thank you, Mrs. Cooper," Cheryl sighed inwardly, relieved to hear she had the house to herself for at least a few more hours. 

_"You're welcome, Cheryl. If you change your mind, just call and I'll set an extra place at the table for you."_

The redhead hung up after saying goodbye, biting her lip again as she dialed Toni's number for the second time today, praying that she was home.

_"Topaz,"_ the familiar voice sighed into her ear after a few rings.

"Hi," she whispered, though there was really no need. She was home alone. 

_"Hey, cutie. You okay?"_

"Yeah, I'm fine. I tried calling you earlier..."

_"Oh, sorry, I was at the mall with Veronica and some of the Vixens until about an hour ago."_

"I figured," she laughed a bit nervously, wondering how to bring up the questions that she had. Toni said that she could answer any questions for her that the book couldn't. 

_"You sure you're okay, babe?"_

Cheryl could sense her suspicion through the phone line. Even when she wasn't talking to her in person, Toni could read her so easily. "Yeah, I just...miss you and wanted to talk to you."

_"I miss you too, Cher. I saw this dress at the Delia's that would look **so** good on you,"_ the brunette gushed over the phone. 

"Really?"

_"Mmhm. I took a Polaroid of it, I'll show you next time I see you."_

She smiled as she leaned against the wall, twirling the curled phone cord around her finger, "Can I tell you something?"

_"Sure, anything."_

"It's embarrassing..."

_"You can tell me anything, babe, you know that."_

Could she? This was different than opening up to her about Jason or her abusive parents."I, um...I took a nap and I had a dream...about you and me."

_"How is that embarrassing?"_

"Well, we were, um...kissing. A lot. And started undressing each other, and you started...touching me," she covered her eyes with her free hand, feeling the heat rising to her cheeks as she cringed to herself. It sounded so much more embarrassing coming out of her mouth.

_"You're embarrassed cause you had a sex dream about me?"_ Toni chuckled in her ear, _"Cher, that's normal. I mean, we're **dating**."_

"I've never had one before. And I don't know if it counts as a...sex dream if we didn't...I mean, I don't even know how..." she trailed off, realizing that the book she had loaned her didn't exactly cover how sex worked between two girls. She just knew that the diagrams and cartoons on the pages weren't of much use to her when it came to getting the information she needed. 

_"Were you turned on before you went to sleep or something?"_

"Not really. I read that book you loaned me a few weeks ago, so that may have...influenced it a little."

_"What about now?"_

"What?"

_"Are you turned on now? Or did you wake up feeling like you have that knot in your stomach again?"_ Toni was so calm and professional about all this, it made Cheryl feel like she was talking to one of her teachers at school.

"I'm not sure, it was only a couple minutes ago. I think I was more confused than anything," she sighed, biting her lip, "I felt it in the dream. It was pretty much all I could feel. When you started to...touch me, it was like my body went numb. I couldn't feel anything but that really strong pull in my gut." Her stomach fluttered a bit at the memory of the visions she saw, like Toni's skilled fingers between her thighs. Just the thought of it was enough to make her feel lightheaded. "But I'm kind of feeling it again now..."

_"You **really** need some release, hun. Like, this is literally your body telling you that you need it,"_ Toni's gentle and comforting voice was just making things worse for the ache inside her. 

"Mmhm," she nodded, though she knew Toni couldn't see it, running her clammy palm against the cool surface of the wall. Her eyes closed as she leaned against the wall, keeping the phone pressed tightly to her ear.

_"I could...talk you through it if you want,"_ Toni said quietly.

"I-I dunno," Cheryl bit her lip, opening her eyes just to look down at her feet. Her heart was beating fast in her chest and she wasn't sure whether it was from her obvious arousal or from being so nervous.

_"Look, I know you're not ready for sex and all that yet. And you know I'd never force you into anything, but I think it would be a good idea if you tried to, well...explore yourself,"_ Toni sighed, putting it as gently as she knew how.

"I don't know how," the redhead frowned.

_"There's no right way to do it, babe. All I can say is just to do what feels right to you."_

"What's it gonna feel like?" she whispered.

_"Well, it doesn't hurt if that's what you're worried about,"_ Toni chuckled a little, _"It's gonna feel good, that's why people do it. It might feel like nothing at first. But if you keep at it, you're gonna start to feel your heart start beating faster, you might feel a little lightheaded. And that ache you feel in your stomach, that knot you were talking about, it's gonna feel like it's getting tighter and tighter until the tension just pulls it apart. And when that happens, you're gonna feel so relieved, babe, you're gonna be wishing you had started doing it sooner."_

Cheryl giggled a little as she bit her lip. She didn't know how Toni always seemed to make things look and sound so easy. She was still nervous, but she trusted that Toni knew what she was talking about. "I'll try it," she whispered.

_"Good. It usually helps to think of something that you know turns you on to get you going. So, if you liked whatever was happening in your dream, maybe think about that. Picture yourself back in that situation and just do what feels good. It'll be worth it, trust me."_

"Okay," her voice was shaky, "Thank you for explaining."

_"Any time, Cher. I just wanna make sure you're taken care of, even if I'm not the one to do it,"_ she could practically hear her girlfriend smirk through the receiver. 

"Okay," Cheryl giggled nervously, "I'll see you at school on Monday?"

_"Bright and early?"_

"Bright and early," she repeated, nodding with a shy smile before saying goodbye to Toni, sighing as she leaned against the wall.

**xxx**

She _**tried.**_

She tried to take advantage of her time home alone, but she couldn't even bring herself to get her hands under her pajama pants. She wanted to take Toni's advice and try it. The ache in her stomach had been plaguing her for a while now. And now she finally knew how to make the feeling go away and she was too afraid. She stared up at her ceiling, trying to push herself to just do it. But after what was apparently hours of fighting with herself, her parents were home. They barely interacted with her after their return, but Cheryl's inner demons had her convinced that her parents could read her mind, and that they knew _exactly_ what she had been trying to do.

"Goodnight, Cheryl. Get some rest," Penelope poked her head into her bedroom around eight o'clock.

"Goodnight, Mommy," she smiled a bit up at her mother, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she turned back to her library book. She couldn't focus on the words in front of her. The tension inside her was too strong and she couldn't help but squirm as she leaned back against her pillows. Her fingers twitched nervously as she put the book down, sighing to herself as she reached for her sketchbook. Usually drawing served as a good distraction for her. 

Turning to a clean page, she bent her legs at the knee, holding the book at a comfortable angle as she started to drag her pencil lightly across the paper. She tried not to think when she drew. She always just let the pencil do all the work until it came up with something she could work with. 

_"Picture yourself back in that situation,"_ Toni's voice echoed in her head as she felt her cheeks starting to flush, her mind starting to drift back to the dream she'd had earlier today. She could still feel Toni's warm, cinnamon breath on her neck as she nipped at her pulse point. She could visualize exactly what her skin looked like under her t-shirt. How her lacy pink bra looked against her warm, caramel skin and the way her belly button ring glimmered in the light. 

Her pencil curved as she visualized her girlfriend's body, trying to put the image in her head down on paper. Her tongue flicked out over her dry lips as she slid the pencil around, wanting to get every dimple and curve right. Her room was heating up. Maybe her parents had the heater up a little higher than usual. It was supposed to snow tonight. But that wouldn't explain her rapidly beating heart or that familiar sense of tension starting to get stronger. 

Her vision went blurry for a moment as she stopped her pencil. Her chest felt heavy and her breathing was ragged as she started to flip through the pages, focusing on the pictures she'd drawn of Toni. She had to admit, she was a talented artist, because even in a detailed sketch, she could feel Toni's eyes on her, boring into her soul. Sighing deeply, she put the book down, looking up at her closed bedroom door. Her parents were hopefully asleep by now. And she was getting desperate. 

Slipping under the covers, she flipped her lamp off, feeling a little better now that she was engulfed in darkness. If she couldn't see anything, nothing could see her. The last thing she wanted was to make eye contact with the small statue of Jesus on her bookshelf. Replaying Toni's advice and instruction in her head, she slowly slipped her trembling fingers under the waistband of her underwear, imagining that it was Toni's hand instead of hers. That seemed to help and excite her more. A shiver ran down her spine when the pad of her middle finger brushed against her clit, making her almost cry out in surprise. But she held it in, covering her mouth with her free hand. It felt good, whatever she had done. Toni had told her to do whatever felt good, and that was it. 

She brushed her trembling finger against her clit again, pressing down a bit more firmly. Her heart was racing, her mind was foggy, and that damn knot in her stomach was already driving her crazy again. Toni said that it would just keep feeling tighter, tugging harder inside her. Cheryl knew what it felt like to have the imaginary rope tug so hard that she couldn't stand it anymore. But never had it gotten so tight that it just came apart. And the more she moved her fingers around under her pajamas, the more she wanted to know what that feeling was like. 

Panting against the palm of her left hand, she picked up a bit of speed with her right, rubbing and circling the bundle of nerves desperately. Was this what she was supposed to be feeling in her dream? She visualized herself and Toni, kissing passionately on the comfortable brown couch in her trailer, hands roaming around each others' exposed skin. Her forehead was starting to sweat and her glasses were fogging up in front of her eyes as she raked her hair back out of her face. 

It was getting more intense, just like Toni had said. But it felt good. It wasn't the same aching tension she normally felt. It was similar, but this feeling was something she'd never felt before. She worked herself harder and faster, almost sobbing behind her hand. She felt like she was running a race and she was so close to the finish line. The knot was getting impossibly tighter as her hips bucked up into her own touch. She wasn't sure what to expect, but then suddenly...

Her whole body went stiff as she cried out, the sound muffled by her palm. Tears formed in her eyes and it was like a whole fireworks display had gone off inside of her. Her body lit up like every nerve in her system had electricity running through them. She could practically visualize the knot inside her coming undone, loosening and falling into a plain pile of rope in the pit of her stomach. Her chest heaved as her fingers slowed down to a stop, leaving her panting and spent against the mattress, unable to move her jell-o filled limbs. 

Her breathing was ragged and unstable as she pulled her palm slowly away from her mouth, letting out a quiet and shaky, _"Holy shit,"_ into the darkness of her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love cheryl that dumbass nerd.

Cheryl tightened her backpack straps on her shoulders, untangling them from the suspenders of her denim overalls. Though she walked with a confidence she'd never felt before, she was still nervous to talk to Toni about what she'd done on Saturday night. She couldn't keep it from her. Not only was it Toni's idea for her to do it in the first place, but she wanted to be able to share things like that with her girlfriend. She didn't want any secrets between them. Her sneakers clapped against the cold tile of the second floor hallway, her french braid bouncing against her back as she practically ran to the dark room. Despite being nervous to talk to Toni, she was still anxious to see her. 

It didn't take her long to reach the photography lab and let herself inside, dropping her backpack onto a desk before she continued through to the dark room. After almost forgetting to close the door behind her, she stepped up behind her girlfriend and hugged her tightly around the waist.

"Hey, you," Toni giggled, turning in her grip to press her lips against hers with hands on either side of her face.

"Hi," she blushed, feeling her cheeks flame up under the brunette's touch before she leaned in for a few innocent pecks, "I missed you, TT."

"Missed you too," Toni scrunched her nose up with a smile before pulling back, "So, you did it, huh?"

Cheryl's eyes widened behind her glasses, a look of shock taking over her face as she was rendered nearly speechless. "I, um...how did you-"

"Let's just say I'm good at reading people," she chuckled and folded her arms over her chest, smirking wildly, "So how was it?"

"It was...different," Cheryl blushed, tucking loose hair behind her ear as she averted her eyes with a shy smile. 

"Was it good?"

The redhead nodded, pulling the fabric of her burgundy turtleneck away from her throat nervously, "I...did it last night too," she mumbled, ducking her head from embarrassment. She didn't think her cheeks could possibly get any more red. 

"Told you," Toni chuckled, reaching up to pull her closer by the straps of her overalls, "How'd you feel after? Much more relaxed?"

"Mmhm," Cheryl nodded again, her breath catching in her throat as she was pulled closer. Her tongue flicked out over her lips as her gaze trailed from Toni's brown eyes down to her devilish smirk, watching every move of her lips. Her eyes glazed over a bit at the sight of Toni's perfect white teeth catching her plump bottom lip, sinking into the skin. And just watching her lip slowly slide out from between her teeth made Cheryl ball up the fabric of Toni's cable-knit sweater in the tight grip of her fists, her heartbeat picking up speed. 

"Wish I coulda been there," the brunette whispered, her lips curving up into a smirk.

"Hm?" Cheryl hummed, too out of it to register what she had said. 

"Just saying, thinking about you like that...it's pretty hot," Toni shrugged.

The redhead's tongue flicked out over her dry lips. The blush was consistent on her cheeks, but her mind was too clouded to even feel shy over what her girlfriend had said. 

"Really?" she whispered, finding that their faces just kept inching closer together. 

"Yeah," the former Vixen nodded slowly, unable to resist closing the gap between them any longer.

Cheryl whimpered against her lips, gripping harder to her sweater as Toni kept a hold of her overall straps, keeping her close. Her whole body tingled with adrenaline as she felt herself being backed up, the back of her thighs hitting the supply table gently as Toni's tongue glided against her own. The brunette's hands slipped down from her suspenders to her hips and Cheryl suddenly found herself sitting on the edge of the wooden table with Toni standing between her knees. "TT..." she panted, her own hands reaching up for the curly hairs at the nape of her neck.

"Did you think about me?" Toni's lips broke away from hers and started an aimless trail along her jaw, "While you touched yourself?"

"Mmhm," the redhead whimpered out quietly with a slight, shaky nod of her head, squealing when Toni's teeth grazed against her jaw. 

"Mm, good," she mumbled, smirking against her pale, flushed skin, continuing to cover every inch with cinnamon flavored kisses.

Cheryl could practically feel her good judgment being thrown out the window. They were at school where anyone could walk in and catch them. And here she was, ready to risk it all just to keep the feeling of Toni's lips on her sensitive skin. But the sound of the classroom door closing outside the darkroom was enough to bring them both back to reality. Toni tore her lips from the spot below Cheryl's ear and pulled back as the redhead hastily hopped down from the table, tucking loose hairs behind her ear nervously just before Mr. Clemmons let himself into the room. 

"Hey, girls. No photos to develop today, Toni?" he asked, starting to sort through negatives from his photography classes.

"Not today, Mr. C," Toni shrugged, playing it cool as Cheryl looked around, confused as she realized that Toni hadn't even been doing anything when she had come in to meet her this morning. 

"Well, you better head to homeroom. I heard Principal Weatherbee is gonna start cracking down on tardiness pretty soon," he adjusted his glasses with a kind smile.

"Will do. Catch ya later," the brunette nodded, saluting the older man with a chuckle.

"Thank you, Mr. Clemmons," Cheryl smiled shyly as she followed Toni out, closing the door behind her as they entered the dimly lit classroom. She turned to Toni with a confused gaze as they gathered their belongings. "Why did you come in so early if you didn't have any photos to develop?" she asked quietly, putting her arms through her backpack straps. 

"Isn't this just what we do on Monday mornings?" Toni asked, slinging her own backpack onto one of her shoulders with a shrug.

"I guess, but...it's usually cause you're in there working," Cheryl bit her lip.

"Cher, I come in early on Mondays cause _you_ do. I thought meeting up on Monday mornings was just our thing now," she chuckled, "I just bring my photography stuff with me so I can get it done."

"O-oh," she bit her lip, tasting Toni's strawberry lip gloss that was still lingering, "I thought you were just always here on Mondays."

"I would usually come in once a week, but I just started sticking to Mondays cause I knew you would come to see me," she explained, shrugging again. 

"I-I'm sorry, I just thought you would be here anyways, I didn't mean to make it seem like I wanted you to get up early just to-"

"Hey," Toni stepped closer to her, reaching out for one of her hands, "I come in cause I wanna see you, Cher. You come in cause you wanna see _me_ , right?" Cheryl nodded. "Like I said, this is just...our thing. Okay?"

She nodded again just before Toni pecked her lips gently, leaving her reeling with even the simplest and most innocent of kisses. "Okay."

**xxx**

"Are you going on the ski trip?" Cheryl asked quietly, her voice drowned out by the crowd in the gymnasium. Basketball was boring, but being with Toni wasn't, so being the sports writer for the Blue & Gold wasn't all bad. As long as she was there, there was no place Cheryl would rather be on a Tuesday night.

"Yeah right, with what money?" the brunette snorted, looking down at the camera in her lap, "Are you?"

"Surprisingly, yeah. My parents paid for it towards the beginning of the school year," she nodded, frowning at the fact that Toni wasn't going to be there. Every year, the Riverdale High junior class would go upstate to a ski lodge in the mountains for the weekend at the end of Thanksgiving break. It was something that every freshman and sophomore looked forward to. Some students went to the slopes while others went on chaperoned activities around the surrounding village area. Even Cheryl was excited to go. "Your uncle can't get you the money? Friday is the deadline to turn in your permission slip and the fee. You still have time..."

"Cher, he barely has the money to send me for bills lately," Toni sighed, "If I asked him for three hundred bucks so I can go on a field trip, he'd laugh me out the door."

Cheryl just looked at her sadly, watching her snap a photo as the crowd cheered around her. She had already wanted to go on the trip, but now that she was with Toni, she wanted to go even more. Just the thought of a weekend away with her made her heart leap, even if it would be a trip with their whole class. But she hadn't really considered how much three hundred dollars really was to someone in Toni's situation. She never worried about money, herself.

"Don't be sad, babe, it's just a weekend," Toni shrugged and kept her voice down, resisting the urge to wrap an arm around her and kiss the pout off her face. "You'll be okay without me for a few days," she smirked. 

"But I want you to go," the redhead slumped in her seat, uncomfortable on the wooden bleachers. "What if I can get Principal Weatherbee to let you go? Betty and Archie are going. I'm sure there'll be stuff for us to cover for the paper and we'll need our whole team there."

"Weatherbee's not gonna do that just for me, Cher. Seriously, it's fine. If by some miracle I get the money by Friday, then I'll go. But I know it's not gonna happen," she laughed a little just before the halftime buzzer echoed through the gym, "As much as I wish I could, I'm okay with not going. Ever since I first heard about this trip back in like, ninth grade, I knew I couldn't go. I've already accepted it."

Cheryl just huffed, folding her arms across her chest. It wasn't fair. Toni deserved to go with everyone else. 

"Hey, don't look so bummed out," Toni gave her a slight smile, elbowing her side gently as some of the crowd diminished around them, "Two months ago, you would've been jumping for joy if you heard I wasn't going."

The redhead bit her lip and looked down at her lap. She didn't want to admit it out loud, but Toni was right. "This isn't two months ago, though, this is now," she mumbled sadly.

Toni just sighed and lifted Cheryl's wrist to look at her watch. "Come on, let's bail," she stood up, looking down at Cheryl and waiting for her to do the same, which she did after a short beat, following the brunette out of the gym. 

"Where are we going?" the redhead asked timidly, holding tight to her notebook.

"Does it matter?"

**xxx**

Cheryl bit her lip excitedly, practically skipping up the stairs to the second floor that Thursday morning. She'd left a note in Toni's locker yesterday, telling her to meet her in the dark room this morning. And she knew that the brunette was there, since her car was sitting in the parking lot when she arrived. Her sneakers squeaked against the floor as she approached Mr. Clemmon's classroom, opening the door hastily before darting across to the dark room.

Toni was sitting in a chair when she entered the small studio, hunched over what looked like an album of Mr. Clemmon's best photos. "Hey, what's going on?" Toni turned in the spinning desk chair, looking up at her girlfriend with furrowed brows, "Everything okay?"

"I have something for you," the redhead bit her lip in anticipation, setting her backpack on the table by the door, looking through it until she found what she was looking for. "Consider it an early Christmas present. Or a one month anniversary present," she couldn't contain her smile as she handed an envelope over to Toni, practically bouncing on her toes in her black Converse sneakers. 

Toni chuckled and opened the envelope suspiciously, pulling out the piece of paper and reading it over. Cheryl watched her expression turn from entertained and suspicious to something resembling anger or sadness. "Cheryl what is this?" she held the paper up, her eyes dark, but not in the good way that made Cheryl's stomach flip with excitement. 

"It's a confirmation note from Principal Weatherbee...saying that you're all set to go on the ski trip..." she started to wring her fingers nervously. This wasn't exactly the reaction she'd been expecting. 

"It says that the three hundred dollar fee's been paid and the permission slip was signed," Toni said pointedly, her voice sharp.

"I-I just pulled some strings...a-and I talked to my Nana," she stammered nervously, shaking her head in confusion, "I did it so we could go together, TT, why are you mad?"

"Cher, I told you I was fine with not going. I'd already accepted it," Toni sighed, putting the envelope down. She looked so frustrated and Cheryl couldn't see what she had done wrong. "Jesus, and this three hundred dollars is non-refundable, Cheryl what the hell?"

"Toni, I want you to go on the trip! You deserve to go with everyone else," she took a few steps across the small room, standing directly in front of her disgruntled girlfriend. "TT, please don't be mad at me, I was just trying to help," she brought a trembling hand up to stroke her cheek, but Toni pulled away, getting up to move away from her.

"I didn't ask you to do this, Cheryl, you _shouldn't_ have done this," she combed her hair out of her own eyes, frustrated as she walked to the door, "I'm not some kind of charity case, okay? I've never wanted to be one, and I'm sick of people treating me like one. I don't need anyone's help! And that includes you." She stared across the room at her, ignoring the look of hurt and confusion on her face before she left the room, leaving Cheryl alone to wonder what just happened.

**xxx**

Toni ignored her all day. She didn't look at her in gym, she didn't even glance her way at lunch. And in study hall, she just sat at her desk and pulled her own pencil out of her backpack. Cheryl hoped that maybe it was just like the day she left a note in her locker before they became official, and Toni was just ignoring her so she didn't make it obvious how much she really liked her. But considering this morning, she had a feeling that just wasn't the case.

Tears formed in her eyes as she drove home, blurring her vision and fogging up her glasses. She had just wanted to do something nice for her girlfriend. It wasn't charity or any of whatever Toni thought it was. All she wanted was to go on the ski trip with her and get away from Riverdale for once. But the more she thought about it all day, the more she realized how Toni must have felt. Cheryl knew enough of her back story to understand that she didn't come from much money. Even when she lived on the north side, she didn't have much. She knew that after Toni's parents died, she was bounced around in foster care. She was the little orphan girl that everyone felt sorry for. At some point she must have gotten sick of it. Because by sixth grade, people started to envy and fear her rather than pity her. 

After getting home, Cheryl sniffled and wiped her eyes, not wanting her parents to ask questions (if they even noticed her). "Hi, Daddy," she mumbled when she walked through the front door, seeing her father in his arm chair.

"Hello, Cheryl," he muttered gruffly, smoking his pipe without looking up from the newspaper. 

Sighing inwardly, she went straight up to her bedroom, closing the door behind her before she curled up on her bed, letting herself cry like she'd wanted to all day. Her inner voices taunted her for being so selfish, telling her that she only wanted Toni to go so she could have her there, not so Toni could have fun with all their classmates. They told her how Toni probably saw her as just some poor little rich girl who thought money could solve all her problems. And worst of all, they relentlessly repeated to her, over and over, that what she had with Toni was probably over. 

She ruined everything.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe my nerdy lil bub is coming to life on screen tonight y'all i've waited so long i could cry

It had been a little over a week since Cheryl had last spoken to Toni. Not for lack of trying. She left notes in her locker, she called up her house a few times, but nothing worked. Toni was done with her, and she knew it. She'd messed everything up. She tried to deny it as long as she could, avoiding the possibility that things were over between them. But when she rolled up to school the Monday morning before Thanksgiving and didn't see Toni's car, that was like the final nail in the coffin. Just last week, Toni was saying that meeting up in the dark room on Monday mornings was their thing. But now they had no _"thing"_. There was no _"them"_.

Thanksgiving had come and gone. Cheryl spent it at her Nana's house just like every year, remaining silent at the dinner table as her family chattered around her. When they were kids, she and Jason used to sit at the kids table and secretly see who could catapult their peas the farthest across the room without getting caught. She missed him. Holidays in her family had always been boring and ritual. Clifford and Penelope believed that children were to be seen and not heard, so Cheryl sat quietly in the corner after dinner, trying not to think about Toni or Jason or anyone else in her life that she had lost. 

But today was the day that the junior class left for the ski trip. She was excited to just get her mind off of everything and have some fun with Betty and Archie. From Friday to Monday, the town of Riverdale and certain people in it would hopefully be in the back of her mind. 

"Have a good time, pumpkin," Clifford gave his daughter a slight smile after loading her suitcase into the trunk.

"Thank you, Daddy," she hugged him tightly, though he barely hugged back. Her father wasn't her favorite person, but she was craving the affection. Getting so much and then having it ripped away had her desperate for human contact, even if it came from her cruel and abusive father. "I'll see you on Monday," she pulled back from her father and kissed Penelope's cheek with a sigh. The second she was in the car, her parents turned and walked back through the front door, not bothering to wave her off. Cheryl wasn't sure why she had expected anything else. 

She arrived at the school at noon, parking in her usual spot amongst the rest of the students' cars. Her eyebrows raised a bit at the sight of Toni's Corolla in her assigned spot. Was she coming? Glancing around, she got her suitcase out of the trunk, wheeling it towards the front of the school where everyone was dropping off their luggage before congregating in the cafeteria. 

"Cheryl!" a chipper voice called once she stepped inside, putting a bit of a smile on her face as she watched her best friend come running up to her. "Can you believe it? We're _finally_ juniors going on the iconic ski trip," the blonde gushed, but Cheryl just nodded with her slight smile, looking down at her shoes. "What's wrong? You've been down in the dumps for like, a week now."

"It's nothing, Betts, my stomach just doesn't feel very well from dinner last night," she lied, holding her hand over her stomach through her puffy coat. 

"Maybe you can get some rest on the bus," Betty rubbed her arm gently. Cheryl was glad that all her bruises had finally faded once again. But she'd grown so used to the pain that she instinctively flinched at any unexpected touch.

"Hopefully," she nodded, spotting a pink beanie in the distance, covering familiar brown hair with blonde highlights. Even from across the cafeteria with her back turned, Toni still made her heart beat faster. And as if she could feel her eyes on her, Toni turned around and glanced in her direction, making her heart nearly stop beating all together.

"Come on, let's go grab a seat," Betty lead her further into the cafeteria to their usual table in preparation for the little meeting the teachers and chaperones were surely going to have with them before they loaded up the buses. Cheryl let the blonde lead her by the wrist, but she kept her eyes on Toni, biting her lip in anticipation. The brunette had turned back around to talk to Veronica and Josie, but Cheryl kept wishing that she would turn to face her again. She _needed_ to talk to her.

**xxx**

It felt like forever before they arrived at the ski lodge. Four hours on the road on a cramped bus with half the junior class wasn't exactly anyone's idea of a good time. It started out all right. Cheryl caught sight of Toni as she boarded the bus and made her way towards the back, meanwhile she and Betty were seated up in the front. She didn't see her again until they stopped for food and a bathroom break halfway through the trip. Her dark brown eyes followed the brunette as she walked with her crew to the bathroom. Cheryl had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to catch Toni alone for the rest of this weekend. All she wanted was to talk to her, but she was always with at least one of the Vixens.

"Sweet Pea is such a jerk," Betty sighed, picking little bits of french fries from Cheryl's red hair as they waited for their luggage on the side of the bus. The football player had been slingshotting them at her with a rubber band from the back of the bus, covering her with them as she tried to ignore it for the rest of the ride. The cruel laughter from the pack of popular kids behind her had her cheeks in a consistent flush and she prayed that she would hear Toni's voice from over the laughter, telling them to cut it out and leave her alone. But she heard no such thing. And what hurt the most was that she was almost positive she could hear her laughing along with them. 

"I'm used to it by now," she mumbled, watching the little pieces of food fall from her hair to the slushy pavement of the hotel parking lot, "Thanks, Betty."

"Once you get your luggage, head inside to the lobby and wait for your room assignments," Principal Weatherbee's voice boomed as he helped unload suitcases from under the first bus. "Blossom, Cooper," he called out after pulling their suitcases, placing them beside the bus. The two girls retrieved their bags and turned to make their way into the warmth of the large resort. The redhead felt a shiver run up her spine and she knew it wasn't from the cold. Toni, wherever she was in the crowd of students, had her eyes on her. 

"I hope we get paired up. I hate this whole random room assignments thing," Betty sighed as they stood in the large lobby, looking around, "Even if we don't end up together, I know who I _don't_ wanna end up with." Cheryl just nodded, looking behind her at the door, seeing Toni and the Vixens stroll in with their matching suitcases and duffel bags. 

Once all the students had their luggage and were gathered in the lobby, Principal Weatherbee and a few chaperones stood in front of them, holding multiple lanyards with their room key cards attached on the ends. "Room assignments," he started, "There will be no swapping, no complaining, no exceptions. When you hear your name called, come get your room keys and head upstairs to your room. You are to remain on the resort property. Dinner will be at seven o'clock sharp in the dining hall. Anyone not in their room by 9:15 will be banned from activities tomorrow. Is that understood?"

There was a dull murmur of agreement in the room as the crowd of students nodded their heads. Satisfied, Weatherbee started calling out names, handing out key cards as students left the group in pairs. Archibald Andrews and Charles Clayton, Veronica Lodge and Josephine McCoy, Sawyer Peabody and Frances Fogarty. It was starting to seem like students were getting paired up by their social status.

"Elizabeth Cooper and Ethel Muggs. Room 204." the principal called out, holding up two key cards. Betty frowned and turned to her best friend, putting a hand on her shoulder in sympathy before going up with her luggage to get her room key, leaving Cheryl behind. 

"Cheryl Blossom and Antoinette Topaz. Room 220," Weatherbee's voice sounded again, making the redhead freeze up. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she almost couldn't hear the murmur of laughter and whispers around her. 

Without looking back, she kept her head down as she approached the principal, wheeling her suitcase behind her as she took one of the room keys and went straight to the stairs. She could practically feel Toni trailing behind her. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? To be on this trip and get some time alone with Toni? All she'd wanted for the past week was to talk to her in private. Now was her chance, and she suddenly couldn't think of anything to say. 

She wheeled her suitcase down the carpeted hallway and stopped in front of number 220, fumbling with her key card and getting the door unlocked. Her ears were hot with both embarrassment and nerves as Toni followed her in. She was going to ask which bed she wanted, but Toni already lifted her blue and yellow suitcase onto the bed nearest the door, claiming it for herself. They unpacked silently, wordlessly coming to an agreement on drawer space without even interacting. Cheryl hated how uncomfortable this was. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wouldn't have gotten the money for Toni to come along if she knew that this was what it was going to be like between them. 

"H-how come you decided to come on the trip?" she finally asked, stammering nervously as she sat cross-legged on her own bed. 

"Three hundred dollars is a lot of money," Toni mumbled after a moment of silence, moving across the room to set up some toiletries by the sink outside the bathroom, "I'd feel shitty about it being wasted. Even if it barely made a dent in your nana's bank account."

Cheryl watched her move around the room, her heart clenching with guilt like it had been for the past week. She didn't mean to hurt Toni's feelings. "Toni, I-" she started, but was quickly cut off by an eager knock on the door, making her quickly zip her lips again as the brunette went to answer it.

"Toni, come on, grab your swim suit. We're all going to the indoor pool," Veronica beckoned with a gang of Vixens behind her, sending Cheryl a fake smile and a wave.

The redhead ignored her and looked down at her lap. Toni was sifting through her drawer for her bathing suit, grabbing a towel and following Veronica out without even a glance in Cheryl's direction, leaving her alone in the hotel room. 

_"She hates you,"_ she thought to herself, letting a few silent tears fall to her lap from behind her glasses. How was she supposed to get through this weekend?

**xxx**

She skipped dinner. She wasn't really in the mood to socialize and she'd completely lost her appetite. Betty had called up her room from her own, asking if she wanted to come watch a movie in her and Ethel's room, but she declined, claiming that she was just too tired. She _was_ tired. She was exhausted. But even if she were wide awake, she was far too emotionally drained for anything. Laying in her bed, she willed herself to sleep, not wanting to have to talk to Toni whenever she came back. But around 8:30, the brunette came strolling back in with Veronica and Josie. Cheryl could hear the three of them even with her back turned to the door as she laid under the covers.

"She's sleeping, just go back to your room," she heard Toni lower her voice.

"Toni, you brought her dinner and now you're worried about waking her up? What the hell's up with you?" Veronica scoffed as a bit of a smile tugged at the corners of Cheryl's lips.

"Maybe I just feel bad about Sweet Pea chucking french fries at her for the whole second half of the bus ride," Toni whispered.

"Well then just leave the food and let's go back to our room."

"Guys, curfew is in a half hour and I'm fucking exhausted. I'll just see you at breakfast tomorrow."

"Ugh, whatever, Toni," Cheryl heard Josie's voice followed by the door closing slowly. 

Toni was moving around the room quietly as she kept her eyes closed, still feigning sleep. It wasn't until she heard the shower running behind the closed bathroom door that she sat up, putting her glasses on. A to-go container of food from the dining hall downstairs was sitting on the dresser next to the TV with a bottle of water. Maybe Toni still cared about her. She got up from the bed, fixing her twisted pajama pants before she padded across the thin carpet, grabbing the food container and sitting in the middle of her bed. Her stomach growled when she opened the styrofoam container, seeing the chicken tenders and french fries inside. They were cold and she doubted that they would compare to Pop's, but she was suddenly starving. 

She nibbled on her food as she listened to Toni singing quietly in the shower, her heart fluttering. Toni was an amazing singer. In seventh grade, she had a solo in the school musical. Cheryl played a swaying tree in that scene, and she was pretty sure that if anyone had taken pictures that night, she could be seen in the background, smiling and staring at Toni in every one of them. 

After another few minutes, the shower stopped as well as Toni's singing, and Cheryl tried to mentally prepare herself for either talking to her, or getting rejected for trying to talk to her. One of the two was going to happen, and she didn't feel ready for either. 

The room heated up with humidity from the shower after Toni opened the door and she closed the curtain between the main room and the vanity space, not noticing that Cheryl was awake. The redhead continued to eat quietly as she listened to the sound of Toni brushing her teeth and untangling her hair, the curtain opening not long after.

"Oh...hey," the brunette mumbled, dressed in just a large grey crew neck. 

"Hi," Cheryl whispered, "Thank you...for bringing me dinner."

"No problem," Toni sighed, crossing the room to get into her own bed, turning off her lamp, "Night."

Cheryl stared at her back after she turned around, swallowing the last bit of food in her mouth before throwing away the to-go box. "TT..." she bit her lip, hoping she hadn't overstepped any boundaries with the nickname. Toni really wasn't her girlfriend or even her friend anymore, right? But she missed her so much, the nickname just slipped. "Please talk to me. I didn't mean to make you mad, I just...I just wanted you to come on the trip."

She saw the brunette's shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh, but that was all she got from her. With a momentary rush of bravery, she went to sit on the edge of her bed, looking down at her. "I wasn't trying to flaunt anything or make you think that I felt sorry for you. That wasn't my intention at all, and I'm sorry it came off like that. I've never pitied you for what you have or don't have." She looked down at the girl she used to call her girlfriend. Her eyes were open and she was clearly listening, just not responding. "I understand if you're still mad at me. I just want you to know that I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings with what I did." With that she got up from Toni's bed, going back to her own and tucking herself in, turning off her lamp and taking her glasses off. 

"How do you do that?" Toni asked into the darkness of the room.

"Do what?"

"You're just so...likeable and easy to talk to," she could hear Toni turning around to face her as she did the same, leaving them staring at each other in the dark room, "And you're such a nice person. You're apologizing to me for something that I, admittedly, overreacted to a _week_ ago. It took me five _years_ to apologize to you for everything I did."

Cheryl was silent as her eyes adjusted to the lack of lighting, seeing Toni looking right back at her. "That doesn't mean you're not likeable or easy to talk to," she whispered, "And you had every right to be upset at what I did."

"I was upset, but it was shitty of me to ignore you all week because of it. You were just trying to do something nice for me. And honestly, I realized that pretty much right after I walked out of the dark room last Thursday. But I wasn't sure how to explain myself or apologize to you for bugging out. And I just kept putting it off cause I was scared or something, I dunno."

"Scared of what?"

Toni sat up and flipped on her lamp, sitting on the edge of her bed with her legs dangling over the edge. "I didn't wanna ruin things with my big mouth. Sometimes I don't think before I say shit and I let my feelings take control. And I was afraid that if I talked to you, I'd say the wrong thing and hurt you all over again." Cheryl slowly mirrored her actions, putting on her glasses and lifting herself up to sit on the edge of her own bed. "But surprise, surprise, I went and fucked everything up anyways."

"I thought I did," the redhead whispered, biting the corner of her lip.

"How could you possibly fuck anything up? You're literally the most perfect girlfriend," Toni scoffed, averting her eyes as a blush took over Cheryl's cheeks. 

"I'm really not. I was being selfish and didn't consider your feelings."

"Cher, you asked your nana for three hundred bucks and forged a permission slip all so I didn't get left out of this trip. How is that selfish?"

"Because I did it so I could live out this stupid fantasy of us getting away from Riverdale for once. I feel so trapped in that stupid town and I wanted to get out...with you. Even if we're surrounded by the whole junior class," she sighed, looking down at her lap, tears starting to form in her eyes again.

"Cher, you are the _least_ selfish person I know," Toni stood up, crossing the small space between their beds to sit beside her, "I don't even know how I can thank you for making this trip possible for me."

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," she kept her head down, though she could feel her whole body flushing with Toni so close. She couldn't believe how much she missed her and craved her presence. 

"Are you forgetting who you're talking to?" the brunette chuckled a little, "I've been hurting your feelings since middle school, babe. I think I deserve to get my feelings hurt at _least_ once."

"No you don't," Cheryl couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips as a tear slipped down her cheek, still not looking up at her. She could feel static in her body as Toni turned her head to wipe the stray tear away, letting her hand linger on her cheek. "Do you forgive me?" she whispered, finally looking up at her with wide, sad eyes. 

"You didn't do anything wrong...but would it make you feel better if I told you I forgive you?" Toni smirked, giggling a little when she nodded in response. "I forgive you, Cher."

"Can I please be your girlfriend again?" the redhead asked quietly, leaning in to tuck her face into the warm crook of Toni's neck, "I miss you so much, TT."

"What do you mean 'again'? You never stopped being my girlfriend," the brunette furrowed her brows as she rubbed her back. 

Cheryl pulled back slowly, sniffling with a confused expression, "I didn't?" 

"Of course not. We had a dumb fight, we didn't break up," she brushed loose hair from Cheryl's face, tucking it behind her ear before leaning in to kiss her slowly. The redhead breathed a soft, relieved whimper into the kiss, holding tightly to Toni's sweatshirt. She hadn't kissed her in over a week, but it felt like so much longer. She never took the feeling of Toni's lips on hers for granted, but she knew now that she never should. "I missed you, too," the older girl whispered, lowering Cheryl down until she was hovering on top of her, reaching up to turn the lamp off, filling the room with darkness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god they were roommates~


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so real quick i just wanna say thank you again for all the support you've all been giving this story. i'm honestly overwhelmed by the response. and now there's video edits and fanart of this fic on twitter and instagram and i really can't express how grateful i am for everyone who has taken interest in reading. i speak for myself and @whatmarianaa! Thank you all for your patience and for being such great motivators for us!!

The light from the rising sun streamed through the curtains of their hotel room, making Cheryl stir awake. She was warm and comfortable and she didn't want to even move an inch. She yawned contently and snuggled deeper into the arms around her, tucking her face into Toni's neck with a sleepy hum. The brunette was still asleep. And as much as Cheryl wanted to go back to sleep herself, she didn't want to waste the feeling of being wrapped up in Toni's embrace. She breathed her in, her fingers lightly playing around the tattered collar of her grey sweatshirt, picking at the loose threads. Goose bumps broke out on her skin at the feeling of Toni's limp fingertips at the base of her spine, keeping her close from under her t-shirt.

Cheryl didn't know how it was possible for her to miss her girlfriend at that very moment. She was in her arms, right in front of her. How could she miss her when she was right there? She was here with her, not going anywhere. And as peaceful as she looked in her deep sleep, Cheryl couldn't help but start to peck her lips slowly against Toni's caramel skin in an attempt to wake her up. Staying up late talking to her and kissing her just wasn't enough. She smirked when Toni started to wake up, stirring with a sleepy groan. She brought her pale fingers to her cheek as her lips made a smiling trail up to hers. 

"Morning," the redhead whispered, smiling at how Toni kissed her back lazily as she stretched.

"What time is it?" she yawned, her head lulling down against Cheryl's.

"A little after six," she bit her lip, resisting the urge to kiss her again as she pressed herself closer to her side.

"Cher, what the hell, we didn't go to bed til like, two," Toni draped an arm over her eyes with a whiny chuckle.

"I'm sorry, TT, I just missed you," she pouted, though a sly grin was hidden behind it as she started leaving slow and gentle kisses along her skin again. 

Toni giggled quietly in her tired state and tightened her arms around her waist, "No need to miss me, cutie. I'm not going anywhere." She rolled over onto her back, bringing Cheryl with her so the redhead was hovering over her, still peppering her face and neck with kisses.

Neither of them had ever felt so blissful before. They could stay like this together in the quiet hotel room for the rest of eternity and they'd be perfectly fine with it. Cheryl's breathing went ragged as Toni's fingernails raked gently against her lower back, sending a shiver down her spine as her body broke out in goose bumps again. Moving her lips back up to her girlfriend's, Cheryl kissed her a little harder, holding her face in her pale, trembling hands as she hovered over her, their legs tangling together under the sheets. Her breath hitched in her throat as Toni's nails scratched gently along her delicate skin again, leaving subtle red marks on her sides. 

The brunette bent a leg up between hers, catching Cheryl by surprise when her thigh brushed against her center through her pajama pants. She let out a little whimper of both surprise and excitement, instinctively pressing herself down against Toni's thigh, her breathing shaky against her lips as she did it again. Toni didn't seem to mind. If anything, it egged her on. She pulled her leg up a little more, meeting the downward movement of Cheryl's hips as her fingers toyed playfully along the elastic waistband of her pajama pants. Dipping her fingertips underneath, she gently pushed her hips down again, eliciting another timid noise from the younger girl as she smirked into their fervent kisses. 

Cheryl wasn't ready. She knew that. But _god_ , she felt like she was light as a feather right now as her hips ground down against her thigh again, sending an electric shock through her whole body. She was about to mumble Toni's name against her lips, but the loud ring of the telephone on the nightstand cut her off, bringing her back to reality as she practically scrambled off of her as if they'd been caught. 

"Hello?" Toni sat up and answered the phone, running her fingers through her brown hair as she caught her breath, her lips a bit swollen. Cheryl sat up beside her, putting a few feet of distance between them and looked awkwardly down at her lap, flicking her tongue nervously over her lips before Toni hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" she asked timidly, running her clammy palm over her forearm.

"Mass wake up call. Breakfast's at eight," the brunette laid back down, looking up at her with a smirk as she held her arm out in a welcoming manner. 

"Oh," Cheryl bit her lip, unsure if it would be a good idea for her to lay back down with her girlfriend. She wasn't even sure if she would have had the strength to stop herself if the phone hadn't rang. She'd have to learn better control for herself. But for right now, Toni had a magnetic pull on her, making it impossible for her to resist laying back down beside her, cuddling up with her face against the soft skin of her neck again. "I'm sorry..." she mumbled sadly, her words muffled and quiet.

"For what, babe?"

"For...before. I wasn't...I wasn't thinking straight," she shook her head, afraid to pull back and meet her eyes. 

"Cher, I wasn't expecting anything major to happen," Toni's hand brushed up and down her back over her Bulldogs T-shirt.

Cheryl just breathed deeply against her neck, nodding. She wasn't sure what was considered 'major' to teenagers who didn't grow up as sheltered as she did. What they just did was pretty major to her. And it scared her how her judgment clouded so much that she had no intentions of stopping herself. But she hoped that Toni would have. Toni respected her, right? "I'm still sorry. I got carried away," she bit her lip, her heart starting to race when Toni pulled back and kissed her slowly. 

"Don't be sorry. As hot as it was, I wasn't gonna take it much further," she smirked against her lips.

"Thank you, TT," Cheryl couldn't help but smile into the kiss, pouting after Toni pulled back to get up. She sat up on the bed with her legs crossed under the sheets and put on her glasses, watching Toni walk around the room.

"Are you going skiing?" Toni asked after she got up. She raised her arms to fix her bed head, making her sweatshirt ride up and giving Cheryl a good view of her lace-covered ass as she walked away towards the bathroom. 

"No, I was gonna go to the village. I'm not a strong skiier," she bit her lip, blushing as she caught herself staring at the contrast of the dark purple lace against the light tan color of Toni's skin. 

"Me too," Toni started going through drawers for an outfit, "I doubt we'll get to spend much time together out there, but maybe we can ditch after lunch?"

"If they don't do crazy head counts, then sure," Cheryl giggled, getting up to claim the shower.

**xxx**

The trip to the village wasn't fun. It was exhausting, if anything. Veronica whined the whole time about how she thought that the village had more shopping options, getting on the chaperone's nerves.

"Ms. Lodge, this is an educational school field trip. You're welcome to join your classmates on the slopes tomorrow or after lunch, since the town's culture isn't entertaining enough for you," Mrs. Beasley told her as they approached a small museum, "The museum has a gift shop, you're welcome to do your shopping there." 

Cheryl bit her lip and tried not to laugh with the other kids. But it was nice to see Veronica Lodge put in her place sometimes. She just wished she didn't feel so alone. Betty and Archie had gone skiing. The closest thing she had to a friend in this group was Ethel. She didn't know her well enough to consider her a friend, but they chatted a little throughout the trip into the village. Every now and then she would steal a glance at Toni. Sometimes she would be laughing with Veronica, or lost in thought over something she was looking at in the museum. But on the rare occasion that Cheryl caught her looking back at her, she couldn't stop the blush that came to her cheeks every time. 

After a few hours down in the main strip of the village, the smaller percentage of Riverdale High juniors made the hike back up to the hotel for lunch, meeting up with the portion of their class who had decided to go skiing this morning. 

"How was it?" Cheryl asked Betty as they sat at one of the tables in the dining hall.

"It was fun," Betty smiled, her cheeks flushed as she looked down at her tray of pizza. "Archie kissed me on the ski lift," she leaned in to whisper, making Cheryl's jaw drop in surprise. 

"What?" her eyes widened, her mouth hanging open with a smile. 

"We've just been hanging out a lot more, doing stuff for the paper, and...I actually _really_ like him," the blonde bit her lip shyly.

"Finally. I was wondering if you'd ever consider him," Cheryl chuckled, taking a bite of her sandwich. 

"Well, I guess now we both have boyfriends," Betty grinned, practically bouncing in her seat. That caught her off guard for a moment before she remembered the fake boyfriend she'd made up. "How is the mysterious Tommy, anyways?"

"Good. I miss him a lot," a shy smile and a blush covered her face.

"I'm determined to figure out who he is."

"Okay, Nancy Drew," Cheryl chuckled with a roll of her eyes just before two large bodies appeared on either side of her, slamming their hands down onto the table.

"Sup, Blossom?" Sweet Pea grinned slyly, leaning in to talk in her ear, "You enjoying having Toni as a roommate?"

"You get a peek at her yet?" Reggie mumbled in her other ear, tauntingly, "Freak like you probably stayed up and watched her sleep all night."

"She probably did more than just watch her sleep," the taller jock snorted, high-fiving his friend over Cheryl's head. She tried her hardest to ignore them, finding it hard to keep tears from forming in her eyes. 

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" Betty spoke up bravely as Cheryl kept her head down, knowing better than to stand up to them. 

"Why don't you mind your business, Cooper?" Reggie spat in her direction.

"Yeah, go back to sucking Andrews' dick on the slopes," Sweet Pea laughed. 

It was one thing for Cheryl to stay quiet when they taunted her, but she felt an overwhelming urge to tell them off for going after her friend. But the minute she lifted her head to turn to them, she found her hair and clothes being covered in ketchup from the squeeze bottle that was on their table. Betty let out a small shriek of surprise when the boys aimed the mustard at her, covering her pink sweater in the sticky substance as most of the attention in the room turned to them. 

"Boys!" Principal Weatherbee's voice boomed, storming over as the girls sat, stunned and covered in condiments, "Looks like you'll be spending the rest of this trip in the kitchen with the dish washers. Let's go introduce ourselves." He grabbed them both by the sleeves of their shirts, dragging them towards the kitchen door as students laughed all around the dining hall. 

"Girls, why don't you go to your rooms and get cleaned up," Mrs. Beasley came over, trying to dab them both with napkins, not helping as much as she'd hoped. But she helped them both to their feet, ushering them out of the dining hall.

**xxx**

Cheryl ran her hand through the warm bath water, sitting in the middle of the tub with her knees pulled to her chest. When she got to her room, she immediately turned on the shower, wanting to get the ketchup out of her hair before it got dried in and stuck to her scalp. Her dirty clothes were shed to the floor, a few noticeable streaks of ketchup on the tile underneath. It didn't take long to wash it out of her hair and off her skin, but shortly after her shower, she plugged up the drain and filled the tub with as much hot water as it would hold, letting the warmth surround her when she sat down.

She didn't know where Toni was. She didn't see her in the dining hall, but she hoped that she _hadn't_ been there. For starters, she was so embarrassed about what had happened and didn't want the brunette to have seen it. And second, if she _was_ in the dining hall, she didn't do anything to help her or stop her friends from being so cruel to her and Betty. And she hoped that if she _had_ been there to see what happened, she wouldn't take half an hour to come check on her to see if she was okay.

But maybe she was just being greedy. She knew that Toni wasn't able to stand up to her friends. Though, there's been times that if she's not defending her, she's at least coming in to distract her friends from tormenting her. She knew what publicly defending her would lead to, but it didn't make it hurt any less when she was left to fend for herself while her girlfriend pretended to enjoy watching her struggle. 

"Cher?" she heard Toni's voice just after the sound of the hotel room door closing. 

"I'm in here," she called out quietly, wondering if Toni could hear her though the bathroom door. 

"Everything okay? Can I come in?" she sounded like she was just on the other side. She sounded oblivious to what had happened, oddly making Cheryl feel a little better. 

"Yeah," she mumbled, pulling her knees tighter to her chest. She didn't really care that she was stark naked. With her knees hugged to her chest, Toni couldn't see anything anyways. 

"What's wrong?" the older girl asked, sitting on the toilet lid, concerned.

She almost didn't want to tell her. As much as she wanted Toni to fight for her and defend her, she felt bad for involving her in all her personal battles. Besides, what was she going to do about it now? "Sweet Pea and Reggie were making fun of me and Betty at lunch," she mumbled, keeping her knees tightly against her chest as she stared into the clear water, "And they covered us in ketchup and mustard."

"Are you kidding me?"

Cheryl shook her head, shivering a bit as she felt Toni's eyes on her. 

"I didn't know, babe, I'm sorry," the brunette moved down from the toilet seat to the floor, kneeling beside the bathtub as her girlfriend kept her eyes down, "I went to Veronica and Josie's room for lunch. I would've stopped them or told them off if I was there."

_"Would she **really** , though?"_ Cheryl thought to herself, letting a tear slip down from her eye and straight to the bath water. She felt Toni's fingers in her long damp hair, peeling it off her back so she could run her palms soothingly across the mostly faded bruises. She didn't want to be upset with her. She wasn't even in the dining hall, it's not like she saw everything and chose to ignore it for the sake of her image. But what about every other time? Like when the boys were chucking bits of french fries at her on the bus ride here? Or last Tuesday when they were pelting her with spit balls during study hall? 

"Come on, the water's getting cold," Toni's voice broke her train of thought, standing up to grab a towel for her. "I won't look," she closed her eyes and held the fluffy white towel up. It was little things like this that made it so hard for Cheryl to be upset with her. Toni may not have always defended her from her friends, but she was there for her in the moments she needed her most. 

Standing up carefully, Cheryl stepped out of the bathtub, gingerly taking the towel and wrapping herself in it with the quietest, "thank you," to Toni. The older girl just gave her a warm smile and a slow kiss on the cheek, making her heart flutter as she followed her out of the bathroom. She sniffled to herself as she watched her girlfriend fish through drawers, pulling out the familiar yellow hoodie from their first date.

"Here," Toni handed it to her.

She tried to bite back her shy smile, powerless against the blush that spread on her cheeks as she held the thick sweatshirt in her lap. She put it on quickly with a pair of plain cotton underwear after Toni had gone back to the bathroom. She could hear her cleaning up and draining the water from the tub before she came back with Cheryl's comb, climbing up to sit behind her on the bed, starting to run it carefully through her damp red locks. 

"Why are you doing all this?" Cheryl whispered, a faint smile still evident on her face as Toni worked expertly around the knots in her hair. 

"Cause you're my girl and I feel like shit that I wasn't there for you earlier," the brunette frowned with a sigh, watching the comb glide through Cheryl's hair.

"It's okay," she mumbled sadly, "You just weren't there."

Toni was quiet as she combed through her hair one more time, leaning in to press a kiss to the back of her shoulder. If she were being honest, she didn't know what she would have done if she were there. She would have wanted to kick Sweet Pea and Reggie's asses for sure, but would she have? Would she have had the courage to say anything to them in front of everyone? She told Cheryl that she would have, but she wasn't 100% sure that it was true. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly, putting the comb down on the nightstand, watching the back of her head as she nodded in response. 

"Can we take a nap or something?" Cheryl turned back to look at her with a rather hopeful expression, smiling a bit when Toni nodded and moved back towards the pillows of the neatly made bed. She tucked her legs under the sheets as Cheryl set her glasses onto the nightstand. With a bit of a yawn, Cheryl laid her head down on the pillow beside Toni's head, looking at her with a small, sleepy grin as she took in her features. Every freckle, every birthmark, the dimples that formed on her cheeks when she smiled. 

"What's on your mind?" Toni smirked, bringing a hand up to run a finger along Cheryl's plump lower lip, giggling when she kissed it gently. 

"Nothing," she blushed, yawning again as she tucked her face into her neck, practically purring like a content little kitten as she fell asleep within minutes. 

Toni sighed and tangled her legs with hers, her hand comfortingly rubbing her side under the yellow hoodie, knowing that the contact of skin was comforting for Cheryl. She was still so angry at herself for what happened. Sure, she couldn't do anything about it without being there. But it got her thinking about the years worth of other times she had let her friends get away with taunting and tormenting Cheryl. And worse, all the times she'd done it herself. 

She didn't know what this amazing girl saw in her. Cheryl liked her even before she started being nice to her, and she didn't know why. Cheryl deserved someone who would stand up for her. Not someone who let people step all over her just to protect their own image. But the more she thought about being that person she wanted so badly for Cheryl, the more her body tensed up at the thought of every possible outcome that would come along with it. And she hated that. 

"TT..." the redhead mumbled sleepily, stirring a bit as she felt Toni's muscles tense around her.

She definitely didn't deserve her. While they were both risking things to be together, Cheryl's stakes were so much higher than her own. Just thinking about what would happen if her parents found out sent a chill down Toni's spine. She didn't know the Blossoms well, but from Cheryl's stories and experiences, she feared for her girlfriend's safety and well-being. She'd never felt so protective over anyone before. And now here she was, wanting to shield this innocent girl from the world around them. And it hurt more than anything knowing that she was part of the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to those of you who were expecting smut here but i promise it's coming! the slow burn sure is...slowly burning.


	25. Chapter 25

"Would you stay still?" Toni chuckled as she dusted Cheryl's cheeks and nose with blush, trying to make it look as realistic as possible.

"I'm sorry, it tickles," the redhead just giggled back, her nose scrunching up as Toni tickled her with the little brush. Last night they worked out a plan to be able to spend the day together by themselves, not wanting to bother with skiing or chaperoned activities. It took some convincing (kissing) from Toni to get Cheryl to agree to it. She didn't want to get in trouble. The brunette was 95% sure that the plan would work, but it was the remaining 5% that had Cheryl's anxiety levels up.

"Okay, I'm gonna go downstairs to get Weatherbee," Toni walked to the vanity area, grabbing her hair dryer before coming back, plugging it in next to the bed. "When I leave, put this on the hottest setting and hold it on your forehead for a few minutes. When we get back, just lay there and act sick. Cough, sniffle, the works."

"I don't think Principal Weatherbee is gonna buy this, Toni," Cheryl looked skeptically at the hair dryer, "And if he does, who says he's gonna let you stay with me?"

"Babe, trust me. You and I are supposed to be mortal enemies. He's never gonna believe that I actually _want_ to stay and take care of you," Toni held her hands on her hips, glancing at the clock. Everyone would be meeting in the dining hall for breakfast soon. "I'm gonna head down there now and catch him early," she crossed the small space between them and kissed her quickly, "Just remember, act sick."

"Okay," Cheryl nodded. She was fine with faking sick and staying behind from the group today. It was the plan to sneak out of the hotel room after everyone leaves that had her nervous. She watched her girlfriend leave the room and turned the hair dryer on, following Toni's instructions. 

Meanwhile, Toni made her way down to the dining hall, making a beeline directly for the man in charge of this whole trip. "Principal Weatherbee, my roommate's not feeling too good. She wanted me to ask you if she could skip out on activities today," she crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes a little as if telling him was a huge inconvenience to her. 

"Ms. Blossom couldn't have come down to tell me herself?" he looked up at her from his seat at the table. 

"I don't think she could walk down here if she tried. She sounded like she was hacking up a whole lung earlier," she cringed, acting grossed out.

The principal sighed, excusing himself from the other teachers and chaperones. "Let's go check on her," he muttered, leading Toni out of the dining hall and up to her and Cheryl's room. 

Toni swiped her room key and allowed him to go in first, smirking a bit to herself at the sound of Cheryl coughing. "She hasn't even gotten out of bed all morning," she explained, following him in.

"Not feeling too well, Miss Blossom?" the older man stood beside Cheryl's bed.

"No, sir," she croaked, coughing right after as she made it look like she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She flinched a little when she felt the back of his hand on her hot forehead, but he seemed convinced that she was sick.

"Well, looks like you'll be staying in bed today. Miss Topaz, see that she gets plenty of rest. You're excused from activities for the day," he turned to leave the room.

"Wait, _what?"_ Toni folded her arms across her chest again, looking at him incredulously as she put on her performance, "Sir, I came here to have fun with my friends, I'm not a babysitter. Can't you get one of the chaperones to stay with her?"

"There are a hundred students on this trip, Toni, I can't just pluck a chaperone from their post," he told her sternly. 

"This is so unfair, why should I have to-"

"You'll stay with your roommate or I'll see a five page paper about this town's history on my desk when we return to school, Miss Topaz. What's it going to be?" he interrupted with a voice that admittedly scared both girls. But Toni remained in her role, moving to sit on her own bed and turning on the TV with a huff, rolling her eyes. "I'll be back to check on you both at lunch. Feel better, Miss Blossom," his voice was deep and stern as he left the room.

The girls waited a few seconds before they both erupted into a fit of laughter, Toni moving to sit on Cheryl's bed as the redhead propped herself up on her elbows. 

"I can't believe he fell for it," she giggled, watching Toni fall back against the comforter as her body shook with laughter.

"You were pretty convincing," the brunette smirked, rolling onto her stomach.

"You too. I almost felt hurt that you didn't want to stay and take care of me," she pouted playfully, giggling against Toni's lips when she crawled up the bed to her.

"I figured he'd get suspicious if I wanted to stay, or offered to," she shrugged, nipping at Cheryl's bottom lip.

"Good thinking," Cheryl's nose scrunched up with a grin, "Now you're all mine for the whole day."

"Mm, lucky me," Toni smirked, letting the redhead pull her down to lay with her.

**xxx**

Toni checked to make sure the coast was clear outside the door. There wasn't a lot to do in the ski lodge, but there was an arcade downstairs near the lobby. That was enough for them.

"I don't think this looks very believable," Cheryl muttered, looking at the lumps of pillows under the comforters of their beds, made to look like sleeping bodies. 

"It's just in case Weatherbee gets back earlier than we thought," she waved her over to the door after putting out the 'do not disturb' sign. They were dressed as inconspicuous as possible, not trying to get noticed. Toni in an old Janet Jackson t-shirt and jeans and Cheryl in black leggings and a long purple sweater. "Come on, everyone's gonna be back for lunch in like, two hours," Toni beckoned her over again, tying a red and black flannel around her waist. 

"Okay, okay," Cheryl sighed, nervously tucking loose hair from her ponytail behind her ears, letting Toni take her hand when she approached her at the door. Everyone was either out on the ski slopes or in the village down the hill. And they had a backup story as to why they were out of the room, but sneaking around and breaking the rules still made Cheryl nervous. What if the others came back early?

Despite her apprehensions, she held Toni's hand tightly as they walked down the hall. They passed random strangers who had no idea who they were and she found herself blushing and keeping her head down. Not only were they two truant teenagers, ditching their field trip activities, but they were two girls holding hands. She was expecting stones to be thrown in their direction just for that. But she held tighter to Toni's hand as they approached the elevator. Just having her nearby was comforting for Cheryl. 

The arcade wasn't large, nor did it have much of a selection besides pinball and older games like Ms. Pac-man and Asteroids. But it was mostly empty, aside from a random family here and there. "Well, this is kinda lame," Toni crossed her arms over her chest, glancing around. 

"What, not good enough for you?" Cheryl smirked in her direction, feeling a bit more calm now that they had reached the arcade without running into anyone, "Are you secretly a video game nerd?"

"Shut up, I was just expecting at least a _few_ games from this decade," she shoved her playfully and lead her to the change machine, putting in two dollars and splitting the quarters she got with Cheryl. "What'cha wanna play?"

Cheryl bit her lip and glanced around, seeing two pinball machines in the corner. With a bit of a smile, she took her girlfriend's hand and lead her to them. There weren't really many games that they could play together, but they could at least play beside each other. 

"Whatdya say we make a bet, Blossom," Toni smirked, stopping Cheryl from putting her quarter into her machine. 

"What kind of bet?" she narrowed her eyes playfully, leaning against the game as she waited for an answer.

"Whoever gets the higher score chooses what we do for the rest of the day," the brunette folded her arms over her chest, "Deal?"

Cheryl bit her lip, a little worried about what crazy ideas Toni had swirling around in her head. But she nodded with a bit of a smile, shaking her hand when it was offered to her. "Deal."

With that, they put their quarters in and pulled back on their plungers. "One...two...three!" Toni counted just before they both released the handles. The machines in front of them came to life with lights and sounds as both girls tried to keep the silver ball in the play field. Cheryl giggled as she pressed the buttons on the side of her table, flipping the ball back up towards the top. She tried not to glance over at Toni's to see how she was doing. But her infectious laughter told her that she was probably doing pretty well. 

"No, no, no, no!" the redhead's eyes widened after a few minutes of playing, not timing her moves properly before her ball fell into the pit, ending her game. But her score was still higher than Toni's. She still had a chance to win this bet. 

"Gave up already?" Toni smirked as she kept her ball in play.

"My score's still higher," Cheryl challenged, boldly standing closer in an attempt to distract her. She was still over a thousand points away from beating her. "What are we gonna do if you win?" she asked, her voice quiet and teasingly seductive, trying to distract her.

"That's for me to know and you to find out when I beat your score," Toni chuckled, flipping her ball back into the play field again before it could reach the pit. 

Cheryl glanced around the small arcade, making sure the coast was clear before she made her next move, moving light brown hair from Toni's neck and leaning in closer. She didn't know where this sudden bravery was coming from, but she planned on using it to her advantage. "What if I had something really special I wanted to do?" she pouted, her lips mere inches from Toni's skin, making the brunette groan. 

"You're _such_ a cheater," Toni bit her lip, trying to focus on her game. She flipped the ball up a few more times, earning extra points from a bonus game before she finally beat Cheryl's score. She held her hands up in victory, letting the ball fall into the pit to end her game. "Not a good enough cheater, though," she chuckled, kissing the redhead with a devilish smirk. 

"Rematch?" Cheryl quirked an eyebrow at her, a hopeful look in her eyes.

"I'll play again, but it won't change the fact that I won the bet," Toni tapped the tip of her pale nose with a cocky grin.

Cheryl just pouted, fiddling with Toni's fingers before the brunette lead her to one of the video games. "Cheer up, babe, I'm not gonna make you do anything _too_ crazy."

"Our ideas of 'crazy' are pretty different, TT," the redhead pointed out, breathing out a light laugh. She put a quarter into the machine with Toni's, setting the game up for two-player mode. The 8-bit music played louder as the game started. Cheryl giggled, playfully reaching over to Toni's joystick and buttons to mess her up.

"Cut it out, we're on the same team!" Toni laughed, reaching across to do the same to her until the screen blinked 'GAME OVER'.

They played a few more games, killing another half hour of time before the arcade started to get boring. "You wanna go grab some lunch and head back up?" Toni asked, leaning against the change machine. 

"Aren't you the one in charge of deciding what we do all day?" Cheryl folded her arms across her chest. 

"Oh yeah, you're right," she laughed, "Thanks for the reminder." 

The redhead rolled her eyes with a giggle, turning on her heel to leave the arcade with her. But Toni stopped her in her tracks, pulling her in another direction. She barely had time to ask what she was doing when she spotted the photo booth in the corner that Toni seemed to be leading her to. She couldn't help but try to bite back an excited smile. She didn't have any pictures with Toni besides class pictures from the past five picture days at school. 

"You coming?" Toni smirked, stepping into the booth, holding onto the black curtain.

Cheryl bit her lip and nodded, stepping into the cramped booth with her, closing the curtain behind her as Toni put some money into the slot. She didn't feel photo-ready, but when did she ever? She looked up at Toni a bit nervously when she sat down on the small bench with her.

"Any ideas for poses?" Toni asked, looking at her after sitting down. Though, apparently the automatic camera was set to only give you five seconds between shots, so the flash went off before either of them could even come up with anything. The shock made them both laugh instantly, the camera capturing it in the next photo. "Funny one, quick," Toni laughed before they both turned to the camera. Cheryl stuck her tongue out with her eyes squeezed shut while Toni crossed her eyes with her lips puckered dramatically, both girls giggling after the flash went off.

"What do we do for the last o-" Cheryl started, still giggling until Toni's lips met hers, cutting her off. The brunette's thumb stoked her pale jaw as she heard the click of the flash, remaining deep in the kiss after their photo session was over. Toni's lips were always so soft, even in the bitter chill of the winter air up here in the hills. 

"Sorry. Needed that last one," Toni smirked after pulling back, still stroking her thumb gently along Cheryl's sharp jaw. 

"No need to be," the redhead whispered, a bit dazed from the sudden kiss that left her reeling. She blindly followed Toni out of the small booth, holding her hand tightly as they waited on the outside for the photos to print. 

"I got two copies," the older girl grinned as the first one printed out, grabbing it from the tray in the side of the booth, laughing as she looked at the strip of black and white photos. "Oh my god," she chuckled, "Okay, you have to admit, we're cute as hell."

Cheryl took the strip from her, biting her lip as she looked over the photos. The first one was them just looking at each other. The second was them caught in their fit of laughter. Third was their silly faces. And the fourth, was the kiss that still had Cheryl a bit dizzy. "Thank you," she murmured, leaning up to kiss her girlfriend's cheek. 

The brunette just furrowed her eyebrows at her with a confused smile. "For what?" she asked, taking her hand to lead her out of the arcade and down to the dining hall. 

"For risking getting in trouble just to spend time with me today. And for taking me to the arcade," Cheryl shrugged, squeezing her hand as she looked down at the photo strip in her other. 

"Hey, it's worth all the Saturday detentions Weatherbee can dish out," Toni lifted their hands to kiss the back of Cheryl's, making the redhead blush, "And you got three hundred bucks out of your nana for me to come here, spending five bucks in that lame arcade for us is the least I could do. How'd you do that anyways?"

"Do what?"

"Get your nana to give you the money."

"Oh, I just told her one of my friends couldn't get the money to go and she wrote me a check. But I cashed it and turned the money in with the permission slip. I just told Principal Weatherbee that you asked me to turn it in for you because you had somewhere to be, but didn't want to risk not making the deadline. And he gave me the confirmation to give back to you for your uncle."

"You're sneaky, I like that," Toni smirked, leaning over to kiss her quickly before they entered the dining hall.

"I told you I wanted you to come," she shrugged with a slight grin. She still felt bad about how Toni had reacted, even though they were past it.

"Well, thank you. You really didn't have to do that for me."

"I wanted to."

Toni just chuckled as they got in line for food, "You're too good to me, Blossom."

**xxx**

"Cher, wake up," Cheryl felt herself being gently shaken as she started to wake up, "Morning, sunshine. Did you bring your bathing suit?"

The redhead's eyebrows knit together in confusion, but she nodded regardless as she rubbed her eyes. "It was on the packing list, but I wasn't planning on wearing it," she mumbled sleepily, looking up at Toni, who was hovering over her, "Why?"

"Beause I do believe that it's still Sunday, which means I'm still in charge of what we do today," Toni smirked, glancing at the clock that read 11:45pm, "So you and I are going to the hot tub."

"You're crazy," Cheryl mumbled, rolling over to try to go back to sleep. Just a few hours ago, she was falling fast asleep wrapped in Toni's arms. She hadn't even felt her get up.

"Come on, just for a little bit, please?"

"The pool's not even open this late," Cheryl whined, covering her face with a pillow.

"You think I don't know how to pick a lock?" Toni climbed up on her bed, straddling her in the oversized crew neck and sleep shorts she was wearing over her bikini, "Come on, when are we gonna get another chance to sit in a hot tub at a ski lodge away from Riverdale?"

She had a point. And now would be the best time to go while everyone else was asleep. The buses were leaving early tomorrow morning, so she was sure that the chaperones would be in their rooms now, trying to get as much asleep as possible. "Fine," she groaned into her pillow, sitting up with Toni still in a straddle across her lap, "But you can't make fun of my bathing suit."

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe," Toni smirked, kissing her quickly before she climbed off her lap, letting her get up to change in the bathroom. It didn't take her long to put her suit on with her pajamas on top. 

Cheryl came out of the bathroom, wrapping her hair up into a messy bun so her hair didn't get wet. "Are you sure about this?"

"Babe, it's midnight. No one's awake around here except for the front desk staff and the janitors," Toni leaned on her arm against the mattress, standing up to hand her a towel. 

"If we get in trouble, I'm throwing you under the bus," Cheryl giggled as they grabbed their room keys. 

"Fair enough, let's go."

Cheryl's heart beat wildly in her chest from both nerves and excitement, watching as Toni opened the door. The brunette lead her out by the hand as they made a quiet dash for the stairwell at the end of the hall. According to Toni, the stairwell lead directly to the hallway where the door to the pool was so they didn't have to sneak through the lobby. She didn't know how Toni always seemed to know the ins and outs of everything, everywhere they went, but she certainly wasn't complaining. 

"Keep watch, just clear your throat or something if you see anyone coming," Toni told her at the stairwell entrance once they reached the first floor, kissing her briefly with a smirk before tip-toeing to the clear double doors. The only things in this section of the lodge were the pool, recreation hall, and the gym, all of which were closed. There shouldn't be anyone roaming around, but on the off chance that a staff member or a janitor were to see them, they would be in for a world of trouble. As much as the possibility terrified Cheryl, she was having fun. She'd never rebelled before she started seeing Toni. She wasn't about to go doing anything illegal anytime soon, but she found that sneaking around with the brunette made her feel different than she's ever felt. Like she could conquer the world. 

She surveyed their surroundings as Toni picked at the lock with a bobby pin from her hair, her eyebrows raising when she got the door open. She couldn't say she wasn't impressed. 

"Come on," the brunette mouthed, beckoning her over. Cheryl glanced around one more time and pushed herself off the wall, following Toni into the large, humid room as she locked the door back up behind them. The room was filled with a light blue glow from the lights in the pool, the moving water reflecting off the walls and large, surrounding windows. 

"Where did you learn to pick locks?" Cheryl asked, her voice still quiet in the big empty room.

"My dad taught me just in case I ever got into a jam. Kinda gotta take extra precautions like that when you grow up on the south side," she shrugged, tucking the pin back into her hair before taking the redhead's hand, leading her over to the hot tub by the window. Cheryl never really thought too much about it, but it amazed her how different their upbringings were. She grew up wanting for nothing but love and affection. Whereas Toni didn't have much except for loving and attentive parents. 

"Looks like it's off," she commented when they reached the small, in-ground tub in the corner, looking down into the water. The lights under the water weren't on and it was just calm, still water instead of bubbling like she expected. Looking up at Toni, she could see the cogs turning in her head as she held her hands to her sides, glancing around. "What now?"

Toni turned on her heel and walked around the pool as Cheryl followed with her eyes, watching as she went directly to a room marked 'Employees Only' and let herself in. 

"Toni?" she called curiously, just seconds before the lights in the tub came on and the water started to swirl and bubble. The brunette came back out with a smug grin on her face, illuminated by the pool lights. 

"Found a switch in the supply closet," she chuckled, starting to peel off her pajamas, discarding them onto a nearby deck chair. Suddenly Cheryl was nervous again as she watched her girlfriend slowly reveal the black bikini she had on under her pajamas. Her swim suit wasn't anything special. It was a plain blue one-piece with a Riverdale High logo in the middle of the chest, supplied by the school for the swimming portion of their gym class. "You coming in?" Toni asked, stepping into the shallow water and sitting down. 

Cheryl nodded silently, looking around before slowly starting to shed her clothes. She wasn't exactly confident in her body, especially in a bathing suit. And it didn't help that some of the Vixens that she shared a gym class with last year made some comments that made her want to never wear a bathing suit again. She pulled her pajama pants down her legs slowly, folding everything neatly and placing them on the deck chair before making her way back to the hot tub where Toni was already lounging comfortably in the water. Hesitating at the edge, she held onto the hand rail. She could feel the heat from where she stood and she closed her eyes tightly, willing herself to step in. 

"Cher?" Toni's voice rang in her ears as she opened her eyes. The brunette looked concerned, looking up at her.

"Oh, uh...sorry," Cheryl muttered, stepping into the water. It wasn't too hot. It was just like a really warm bath. Not hot enough to hurt her. Once she sat down a few inches from Toni, she started to relax more, letting the warm water soothe her tense muscles.

"You okay? You looked really freaked out," the older girl placed a warm hand on her shoulder.

She nodded in response, placing her continuously fogging glasses off to the side of the hot tub. "I-I just wasn't sure if it was too hot," she mumbled with a nervous smile.

Toni opened her mouth to respond before realization dawned on her face, her eyes widening a bit. "Shit. Cher, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking about-"

"TT, it's okay," she shook her head, moving a bit closer to her until their thighs were touching under the water. She didn't realize how tense she was until the heat and jets put her muscles at ease. One look at Toni and she could tell that she still felt bad. But Cheryl wanted to be able to sit in a hot tub with her girlfriend without the memory of her parents' ridiculous punishments plaguing her brain. "I'm okay, really," she giggled a little, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to her lips. 

"Is it too hot, though? We don't have to stay," Toni pulled back, her face filled with concern as she reached up to stroke a wet thumb across Cheryl's cheek. 

"No, it's fine. I wanna stay," she smiled, leaning into the gentle touch before kissing her again, letting her lips linger against hers. 

"If you say so," Toni's frown quickly turned into a smirk as she pulled Cheryl in closer, one hand running up and down her bare thighs under the hot water.

It made the redhead giggle in response. She never thought she would see the day that being in the presence of Toni Topaz didn't make her want to run away in fear. She didn't come to full terms with her crush until freshman year, and since then, until about two months ago, she'd been longing from afar. She liked who she was when she was with Toni. She didn't feel as timid or afraid of the world around her. She felt safe and protected. She was _alive_ around her. She hadn't felt that kind of connection with anyone since Jason was alive.

"Wish we didn't have to go back to school, on Tuesday," Toni sighed against her neck, having trailed her lips down to her shoulder.

Cheryl frowned and nodded, playing with loose strands of her brown hair. "I know," she hummed contently, leaning against her. She smiled a little to herself as her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of Toni pressing the softest of kisses along the expanse of her neck and shoulder. She shivered as her body broke out in goose bumps, starting to feel a tightening in her chest. It wasn't the same kind of tension she normally felt when Toni kissed her. It was different. Indescribable. She didn't know what it was, but she knew she wouldn't mind feeling it every day for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was just a long filler :(


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: there's some bullying and abuse from clifford the big red homophobe in this one because cheryl hasn't suffered enough

Cheryl walked with her head a little higher this week. Her parents were off her back, she and Toni were happy, and she was ready for her finals. Not to mention Christmas, her favorite holiday, was only two weeks away. She pulled a few books from her locker, biting her lip as she looked in the small mirror she kept on the door. Half her hair was pulled up in Toni's pink scrunchie. She never usually strayed far from ponytails, braids, or just putting Jason's baseball cap on her head, but she had been feeling a newfound sense of confidence lately. But unfortunately, no matter how much confidence she gained, someone was always there to take it away.

"Sup, Blossom?" Reggie leaned against the locker beside her with a devious grin. 

"Hi, Reggie," she mumbled, not looking at him. She knew that if she ignored him, whatever he was planning would only get worse.

"Switching up the hairdo today, huh?" Sweet Pea appeared on her other side. Her heart was racing in her chest, as her palms got clammy from nerves. But she kept her chin up as she gathered her textbooks. "This looks an awful lot like Toni's," he smirked, grabbing onto the pink accessory and slowly pulling it from her hair. Her body stiffened in fear, but she kept her eyes on the back wall of her locker. 

"Steal that from her locker, Blossom? Or maybe you went through her suitcase on the ski trip," Reggie smirked, his hot, smelly breath hitting her nose, "Did you get a good look at her tits?"

"Lots of people have pink scrunchies," she stated meekly, ignoring his second comment.

"Well, here she comes now. Maybe we should ask Toni if she's missing hers," Sweet Pea suggested with a chuckle. Cheryl didn't have to turn around to know the Vixens were nearby. She heard the sound of multiple sneakers on the floor approaching from down the hall, as well as the murmur of girly voices. 

"Hey, Toni, you missing somethin'?" Sweet Pea tossed her the scrunchie as they got closer. 

Toni examined the pink hair tie in her hands and looked at the back of Cheryl's head before rolling her eyes. "God, Sweets, tell me you're not accusing her of taking my _scrunchie_ ," she crossed her arms over her black cropped sweater, "You guys realize that you're not only assholes, but you're idiots too, right?" 

"Hey, we just thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong and now you both look more moronic than usual," she interrupted, holding a hand up, "Blossom." Cheryl's ears perked up and she turned around slowly after closing her locker, pushing her glasses nervously up the bridge of her nose. Toni stepped in closer to her and placed the scrunchie on Cheryl's wrist before holding her arm up to her side with a pointed finger. "Get out of here before you're late for homeroom," her voice wasn't stern or chilling like Cheryl expected it to be, but it wasn't super friendly either. 

She nodded her head obediently with a quiet, "thank you," starting to walk away. But she felt herself tripping over Reggie's extended leg and found herself on the floor before she could even realize what had happened. Her books were scattered on the floor around her, taunting laughter filled her ears, and worst of all, her glasses had fallen off her nose with the fall, the lenses cracked from hitting the floor. 

"Jesus Christ, Reg, what the fuck?!" she heard Toni's angry voice and the sound of a body slamming against the lockers before the brunette knelt down beside her. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly, helping her pick everything up. 

Cheryl could feel her eyes welling up with tears as she nodded, trying to ignore the laughter from everyone around them. Her heart was pounding heavily, more nervous about Toni being nice to her in front of her friends than what her parents would say about her broken glasses. She sniffled, keeping her head down as her girlfriend helped her up, clutching her books tightly to her chest as she examined her broken glasses. 

"You broke her glasses, are you happy now, jackass?" she groaned, sending a swift punch to Reggie's shoulder. 

"I'm sure her daddy can buy her new ones," Josie smirked, laughing with the other cheerleaders.

"Josie, I'm asking you, for just _once_ in your life, to shut the hell up," Toni snapped, glaring daggers in her direction, "Seriously, guys, leave her alone!"

"Jesus, Toni, one weekend cooped up in a hotel room with Blossom and suddenly you give a shit?" Sweet Pea looked her up and down, "What the hell's gotten into you?"

Toni looked around at them, all their faces filled with suspicion and confusion. She hated this. Choosing between her girlfriend and the people she _used_ to claim as friends should have been easier. But everything was so complicated, either way she would be on the losing end. "The dance is next week, Sweets, I'm not trying to get my ticket revoked. I already got kicked off the Vixens, I don't need the rest of my junior year ruined just because I hang around with you pricks," Toni held her hands firmly on her hips. 

There was a small buzz of voices in the small pack of cheerleaders, all of them worrying about not getting to go to the winter semi-formal. "You know that Weatherbee is gonna punish _all_ of us for this if he finds out, so just get the fuck to homeroom and keep your mouths shut, I'll take care of this," she lowered her voice and stepped closer to the group of popular kids before they all followed her orders, scattering to head to their respective homeroom classes just as the bell rang.

Toni stood in place in the hallway with Cheryl, students whirring around them until the hallway was silent and empty. She closed her eyes tightly at the sound of the redhead sniffling behind her. She should have just told them to fuck off and leave her alone. She didn't have to give a reason for sticking up for someone. She always thought of herself as such a brave person, but ever since she started dating Cheryl, she was starting to realize how much of a coward she really was. With a heavy sigh, she reached back for Cheryl's hand, gently pulling her towards the closest bathroom, locking the door behind them just in case Ethel Muggs was prowling the halls, asking to see people's hall passes.

Toni didn't even have time to say anything before Cheryl's books and broken glasses were dropped to the bathroom floor, her pale, trembling arms wrapping around her in a tight hug as she cried into the curve of her neck, pressing her against the door. "Cher...hey, baby, look at me," she rubbed her back, frowning when the redhead shook her head no, sobbing into her shoulder. Toni gave her another minute, just trying to calm her down. She slid her hands under Cheryl's t-shirt, running her slim fingers against the warm skin of her back and sides. She could feel her shiver at the touch, but she didn't pull away. It took another minute or two for Cheryl to start to calm down, her sobs turning into sniffles against Toni's skin.

"Are you okay?" the brunette whispered, kissing her temple as she kept her fingers against her bare skin. 

Cheryl pulled back from her neck, nodding. "I'm sorry," she muttered, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. 

"Cher, you don't have anything to be sorry for, you didn't do anything wrong," Toni shook her head, swiping a thumb against her tear-stained cheeks, " _I'm_ sorry. It's _my_ idiot friends that did this."

"You stood up for me..." the younger girl looked at her with shiny eyes.

"But I made some shitty excuse for it," she mumbled, biting her maroon tinted lip as she brought a hand up to Cheryl's cheek again, brushing away a stray tear, "You're more important to me than some stupid school dance...You know that, right? The dance was just...a cover." She felt like such an ass saying that to her. 

The redhead leaned into her gentle touch and searched her eyes for any signs of insincerity, not finding any. She nodded her head slowly, her eyes fluttering shut as Toni leaned in to kiss her. The feeling of her lips against hers always made Cheryl's worries melt away, like Toni had some kind of magic power. Every time they kissed, Cheryl felt like she would float away on a cloud, regardless of how she felt seconds before Toni's lips met hers. Her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink when Toni pulled back only to gently peck her lips twice more before pulling her back into a tight hug. 

"I'm sorry," the brunette whispered in her ear, pressing soothing, apologetic kisses along the line of her jaw.

"Don't be sorry, TT," she mumbled, kissing her cheek with a sniffle before bending down to pick up her books. Toni knelt down with her, helping her gather her textbooks before picking up her broken glasses, examining them.

"Shit," she mumbled, looking at the shattered lenses, "Those guys are such assholes."

"I bring my contacts with me just in case, it's okay," Cheryl shook her head, standing back up with her.

"Are your parents gonna be mad?"

"Probably, but...I'll just tell them it was an accident. I'll think of something."

Toni bit her lip and moved around her, taking the pink scrunchie from Cheryl's wrist and fixing her hair up into the style it was in before. She tugged gently on the two halves of the thin ponytail, tightening the accessory in her hair before kissing her cheek from behind. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded as she turned around, kissing her lips quickly with a smile, "Thank you, TT."

**xxx**

"Daddy?" Cheryl knocked gently on the door to her father's home office, seeing him leaning back in his chair as he read over some paperwork.

"What is it, Cheryl? I'm very busy," he muttered, barely looking up at her. 

"Th-there was an accident...at school, and um...m-my glasses..." she stepped into the room, placing the frames on his desk for him to examine, biting her lip. Her family had plenty of money to replace them, but she knew that this was an inconvenience to her father.

"What happened?" he sighed, putting his paperwork down to look at the cracked lenses.

"We were jogging for gym class today, and I tripped. They fell off my face a-and broke," she mumbled, rubbing her arm nervously, "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Didn't we tell you to go get them tightened a few weeks ago?" Clifford put the glasses down, taking his own reading glasses off to look up at her. 

"Y-yes, but-"

"But you didn't. That's all there is to it, there's no excuse for it. We told you to do something, and you didn't do it," he stood up. He seemed surprisingly calm, which worried the younger Blossom. Usually her mother was the one who remained abnormally calm. "Come along, Cheryl," he gestured for her to follow him, which she did, hesitantly. He didn't seem angry enough for a cleansing. She hadn't done anything that would urge him to give her one anyways. And if he was going to beat her, he would have done it right there in his office. 

She followed him into the garage, her heart starting to race as she wondered what he was doing. He went to the corner by the garage door, opening up the bucket of the sand and rock salt mixture they used to melt the ice on the driveway in the winter. Cheryl watched as he scooped some of the mixture out, shaking it onto the concrete floor by his feet before he crooked a finger to beckon her over. Stepping back from the mess on the floor, Clifford stood eerily still as Cheryl made her way to stand in front of him. 

"Roll up your pant legs," he commanded in a dark voice that sent a chill down her spine. Cheryl obeyed, still confused. She did as her father said, lifting and rolling up the legs of her jeans until they were hiked up above her knees. "Kneel down," he pointed at the scattered pile of sand and salt. Cheryl had never gotten this kind of punishment before, but she already knew it was going to be a painful one.

"Daddy-"

_**"Kneel,"**_ his voice raised, echoing in the quiet room as he stared down at her. 

Tears sprung to her eyes as she did as he said, sitting on the floor with her knees in the dirt. She gasped out in pain, feeling the thin layer of gritty sand and salt digging into her skin. She tried to shift her weight elsewhere, but if she moved, her knees just dug harder into the sharp mess between her skin and the concrete floor. There was no way to avoid the pain.

"You never listen to us, Cheryl," her father stated plainly, standing above her as she tried to resist crying out in pain, "We are your parents. Your superiors. When we tell you to do something, there should be no questions asked and no excuses."

She nodded eagerly, keeping her head down as she cried as silently as she could manage. "Yes, Daddy. I'm sorry," she sniffled, trying not to think of the nearly unbearable pain. 

Clifford stood above her, his hands folded in front of him as he stood, ominously silent.

"Can I please get up?" Cheryl asked in a shaky whisper. But instead of a response, her father's foot extended towards her, kicking one knee to the side so the jagged grit under her scraped against her skin as she nearly screamed in pain. 

"Why are you being punished, Cheryl?" he asked.

"B-because I didn't listen," she panted, trying to steady her breathing. Wasn't having broken glasses enough of a punishment?

"Exactly. When you're given permission to get up, you're going to clean up this mess and call the optometrist to make yourself an appointment. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Daddy," she nodded her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, "I promise." 

He was silent for what felt like forever, just standing there, watching her cry and suffer in front of him. But after what was only a minute (though, it felt like hours), he told her that she was excused before walking out of the garage to go back to his office, leaving Cheryl alone in the cold garage. She cried harder as she got up, carefully brushing away the sand and salt that was stuck to her skin. Her knees were scraped and bloody. She never thought something as simple as kneeling on the floor would bring her some of the worst pain she'd ever felt.

**xxx**

"Do you mind if we stop at The Gap? I wanna see if they have a tie for my dad," Betty asked as they walked down the corridors of the Riverdale Mall on Sunday.

"Your dad has a million ties," Cheryl chuckled, trying not to trip over the skirt of her long dress. Her knees were still a bit red and scabbed under her bandages from Tuesday. She felt more comfortable in jeans, but the thick, coarse fabric wasn't a great option for her healing skin. 

"Probably because I get him one for every gift-giving holiday," the blonde giggled with a shrug. The only store they had hit so far was the Disney Store. They were having a toy drive at church for Christmas, so the girls decided to each pick out something to donate while they were here to get some holiday shopping done. Cheryl was never sure what to get for her parents. She loved shopping for her Nana Rose. Her grandmother was so easy to shop for because she loved and appreciated everything Cheryl gave her. Maybe she would go with Betty's idea and just get her father a tie this year. And maybe some soaps for her mother.

"What do you think about this? For Archie?" Betty held up a navy blue sweater vest, looking at Cheryl for approval. 

"He'd like that. Maybe get him a bow-tie to go with it," she smiled with a nod before Betty draped the sweater vest over her arm.

"Are you getting anything for Tommy?"

"What?"

"Tommy," Betty repeated pointedly, "Are you getting anything for him?"

"Oh, um...maybe," she bit her lip. She didn't know what to get Toni for Christmas, or if she even should get her anything. Last time she gave her girlfriend a gift, it didn't go so well. 

"You've gotta get him _something_ , Cheryl," her friend chuckled, going to pick out a tie for her dad with the redhead trailing behind her. 

After a successful trip to The Gap, the two continued down the walkway, passing a few stores that didn't have anything they needed. They were passing a Delia's when Cheryl slowed down, glancing into the store. "Betts, can we go in here? I wanna see if they have something I can wear to the dance..."

"I thought you weren't going?"

"I've been thinking about it," she shrugged, biting her lip as they walked into the store. Everything was so cool and hip. Just the opposite of what Cheryl was used to wearing. But she glanced around, knowing exactly what she was looking for. Toni had showed her the Polaroid she'd taken of the dress a few weeks ago. She just hoped it was still here. 

She spotted it on a mannequin across the store and picked up the pace of her walking, practically leaving Betty in the dust behind her. Looking at the mannequin, she bit her lip, her eyes trailing over the spaghetti straps, scoop neck, and crushed red velvet. She toyed with the short hem, deep in thought. Toni said it would look perfect on her. 

"Better wear a cardigan over that," Betty said from behind her.

"I'm gonna try it on. Do you mind waiting?" Cheryl turned to her with a timid smile. 

"No, go ahead. I'm actually gonna see if I can find something for Polly in here," Betty grinned before walking off, leaving Cheryl alone to sift through the rack, finding a size that looked like it would fit her. 

She took it to the back of the store and let herself into a fitting room, hanging the dress up on a hook before starting to remove her own. She was so nervous. She wanted it to look good on her. She kept her back turned to the mirror as she pulled it on over her head, running her hands down along the smooth velvet material. The red contrasted well with her pale skin. It was her favorite color, but her parents never liked for her to wear it, claiming it was "the color of Satan and hellfire". 

With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and turned around to face the mirror, keeping them closed until she felt prepared enough to open them. And when she did, she was pleasantly surprised. She would need a different bra for sure, but aside from that, the dress actually looked good. It suited her in a way she never thought a dress like this could. She glanced at herself in the mirror, trying to pull together a look for the dance in her head. Hair, makeup, cardigan, and shoes. She just hoped that her knees were healed by Friday night. 

Putting her own dress back on, she smiled a bit to herself as she left the fitting room, going to find Betty out in the store. She was going to have to get a ticket for the dance.

**xxx**

Creeping out of her bedroom, Cheryl tip-toed down the stairs around ten that night, thankful that her bunny slippers didn't make much noise on the hardwood floors downstairs. But she still tip-toed to the kitchen, taking the phone off the cradle and dialed Toni's number, biting her lip as she closed herself into the pantry and sat down on the floor.

 _"Topaz,"_ her voice sent a wave of comfort through her body.

"Hey," she smiled into the phone, tugging at the loose threads of hem of her t-shirt.

_"Hey, you. How was your weekend?"_

"It was okay. I went Christmas shopping with Betty this afternoon," Cheryl said quietly. 

_"Get anything good?"_

"Just some stuff for my parents and my nana. I don't know what to get you..." she trailed off, biting her lip. She didn't want Toni to feel like a charity case again.

_"You don't have to get me anything, cutie,"_ the brunette chuckled on the other end, _"I have something for you already, though."_

"You do?"

_"It's not much."_

Cheryl's heart fluttered in her chest as a smile came to her face. She really needed to get something more heartfelt than material for Toni. "You didn't have to..."

_"I know, but I wanted to."_

Cheryl flicked her tongue over her smiling lips, sighing contently into the phone. "I'm gonna buy a ticket to the dance on Friday. Betty and Archie are going, so I'm just gonna tag along with them."

_"Wish you could go with me instead of third-wheeling with your friends,"_ she heard Toni's defeated sigh. She knew that her girlfriend was as sick of sneaking around as she was. But it was all they could do for now. 

"Me too."

_"Maybe I'll get to take you home afterwards anyways,"_ she was smirking on the other end, Cheryl just knew it.

"Maybe so," she giggled, listening to Toni's laughter.

_"How are your knees doing?"_

She bit her lip at the question. It was no secret to Toni what her father had done on Tuesday afternoon. She had shown her on Wednesday after school when Toni took her back to her trailer to hang out for a few hours. Her eyes closed as she remembered how gentle Toni was with her when she showed her the harsh scrapes; How she helped change her bandages and covered every inch of her knees with healing kisses. 

_"Cher?"_

"Oh, um, they're okay I guess. Still healing."

_"I still can't believe your dad did that. I mean, where do you even get the idea to do that to somebody?"_

"I dunno, TT," she frowned before sighing, "I should go to bed, though. Bright and early tomorrow?"

_"You know it, baby."_

Cheryl let herself out of the pantry after their goodbyes, hanging up the phone before going back up the stairs to her room. She tucked herself back into bed and sighed contently, reaching under the mattress and pulling out the printed strip from the photo booth at the ski lodge. She looked over each photo with a warm smile, her eyes lingering a bit longer on photo at the bottom.

What she wouldn't give to feel Toni's lips against hers now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vanessa gone wild is so VALID ugh love that


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new trigger warning for attempted rape here, so i'm sorry about that :/

"Cheryl, are you _sure_ you wanna wear that? It's really...risqué. Plus, it's freezing outside," Betty commented as she sat on her bed, watching Cheryl brush out her hair in her vanity mirror. The blonde was wearing a long sleeved, floral polyester dress that stopped at her knees, her hair out of its signature ponytail with the ends curled under. Cheryl thought she looked like a housewife from the 1950's, but not in a bad way. Betty's sense of style had always been a little old fashioned. She was sure that she would wear a poodle skirt to school if they still made them.

"It's not like it's really showing anything," the redhead shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know what had come over her these past two weeks, but she was feeling more confident than ever. Maybe it was the positive response she got from her classmates when she wore her contacts to school, since her glasses only came back from getting new lenses a few days ago. Maybe it was the fact that she and Toni were slowly getting closer, physically. Or maybe she was just sick and tired of being the timid little mouse everyone thought she was and expected her to be. Whatever it was, she didn't want anything ruining her night. It was bad enough that she wasn't going to get to dance with her girlfriend at one of Riverdale High's most notoriously romantic dances.

"Aren't you worried about what Toni and her squad will say?"

"I'm over it, Betts. I just wanna have fun and not care for _once_ ," she sighed, turning around in the pristine white chair in front of Betty's vanity. She wanted to feel like Cinderella tonight before her carriage inevitably turned back into a pumpkin when the night was over. Betty didn't seem too convinced. She looked nervous for her. Betty had been her best friend since elementary school. She knew all about Cheryl's struggle with the popular crowd when she started attending public school. She had witnessed what happened whenever Cheryl tried to stray from her usual look. The redhead could change up her hair and they would tease her for trying too hard to fit in. She knew that Cheryl wanted to have fun tonight, but she was worried that kind of torment this would bring her. 

"Please don't look at me like that," Cheryl pleaded, making eye contact with her in the mirror as she curled the ends of her hair into light waves. Maybe with enough hairspray they would stick for at least a few hours. "I can handle myself, Betty, I promise." She really did want to have fun and just be carefree tonight. This was her first school dance. She didn't count the Halloween dance, since she had to sneak there and she got dragged out not long after arriving. But for this one, she had permission from her parents to go, since she was going with Betty and Archie. 

She actually felt good and pretty in her dress, and she was excited for Toni to see it. She hadn't told the brunette that she'd bought it. And if she wasn't so excited to show it to her, she would have saved it for some other occasion. But she shared Betty's apprehensions. What if this brought on a whole new world of torment? Just last week, she wore her hair in a different style and her glasses got broken because of it. And now she was planning on walking into a gymnasium full of her classmates with makeup, her hair done, and a dress that showed way more skin than they were used to seeing from her. 

She tried to brush the thought away as she put on a thin layer of mascara like Toni had taught her to a few weeks ago, followed by some blush and a nude pink lipstick. She would have gone for red to match her dress, but she felt she'd done enough to draw attention to herself. 

"Girls, Archie's here!" Betty's mom called from downstairs.

"Coming, Mom!" Betty called, reaching for her shawl to wrap around her shoulders as Cheryl pulled on a black cardigan that tied in the front, her black kitten heels clicking on the hardwood of Betty's bedroom floor. There was no turning back now. She followed the blonde downstairs after making sure she had everything she needed in her small purse. Glasses, ID, spare change for a payphone, the usual. 

"Don't you both look stunning," Betty's dad snapped a picture as they came down the stairs, making them both blush with girlish giggles. 

Cheryl stood back, watching with a warm smile as Archie kissed Betty's cheek, handing her a small bouquet of roses before he handed her one as well, not wanting Cheryl to feel left out. "Thank you, Archie," she smiled. She knew that Archie was good for her best friend. She'd always known, but it had taken Betty almost a decade to realize it. 

"Cheryl, sweetie, isn't it a little...cold for that dress?" Alice spoke up. Cheryl could sense her judgment through her maternal smile. 

"I'm sure it'll be warm in the gym, Mrs. Cooper," she smiled back, trying not to think about what would happen if Betty's parents told hers about her choice of attire for tonight. One of the reasons she decided to get ready at Betty's house in the first place was to avoid her parents. She never even considered the fact that Alice or Hal could blow this for her.

"Well, keep your cardigan on just in case," the older blonde commented as Cheryl just nodded, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Mrs. Cooper had certainly been there for her in ways that her own mother wasn't, but that didn't mean she had the right to control her like a parent. She was so tired of not being in control.

She stepped out of the way so Betty could get a picture alone with Archie, handing her rose to Alice to put in a vase with the others before they said their goodbyes and piled into Archie's father's station wagon.

"Is it okay if I ride in the front?" Betty asked her as they approached the car. Cheryl didn't mind at all, but as they drove to the school, she found herself suddenly solemn as she watched her two best friends hold hands and kiss at stop lights. Either they forgot she was in the car, or just didn't care. She was happy for them, she really was. But she wondered if there would ever be a day where she could kiss her girlfriend in front of people, or even hold her hand. She ignored Betty's giggling for the rest of the ride, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window as she watched the snow-topped houses pass by. 

When they arrived at the school around sundown, Archie dropped them off at the door like the chivalrous gentleman he was before parking the car and meeting them inside. Cheryl subtly glanced around in search of Toni as they walked to the gymnasium, dropping their jackets at the door with Mrs. Beasley and turning in their tickets before they walked into the gym. It was decorated with pretty much anything the dance committee could get their hands on to make it look like a winter wonderland. Upbeat Christmas music played over the speakers, and students were gathered all around, dancing or just standing around talking. 

"You girls want some punch?" Archie turned to them, talking loud enough to hear over the music. 

"Please," Betty smiled as Cheryl nodded. The redhead looked around the gym, running her hand up and down her bare arm. She was trying not to be nervous about wearing this dress, but the looks she received from her classmates as they passed her by had her cheeks flaming up in an intense blush. 

Archie came back with three paper cups of punch, letting Betty adjust his bow tie before he handed them out. "Thanks," he smiled as the blonde kissed his cheek, taking her cup and handing one to Cheryl. 

"Well, well, well, don't we look fancy?" Toni's sharp voice approached them from behind Cheryl, sending a chill up her spine as her heartbeat picked up speed. 

"Hi, Toni," Betty rolled her eyes. 

"Don't look so happy to see me, Cooper," Toni scoffed.

Cheryl stood still and looked the brunette over. She was in a lavender tube dress and silver heels with her hair pulled up into a large butterfly clasp. Her mouth went dry at the sight of her, and she couldn't even bring herself to say anything to her. But she averted her eyes shyly when she watched her light brown eyes look her up and down. 

"So who's covering this event for the paper?" the brunette asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Mr. Clemmons was kind of enough to take pictures for us so we could enjoy the night," Betty explained, clinging to Archie's side, "It's just gonna be a photo piece."

"Phat," Toni nodded, before turning to Cheryl. But just as she was about to open her mouth their little group was approached by Reggie and Moose.

"Damn, look who's been a smoke show all this time," Moose looked Cheryl up and down, "Lookin' good, Blossom."

"Thank you," she mumbled, glancing at them only briefly. 

Reggie moved over to her other side, flicking his tongue over his lips in a way that made Toni's eyes narrow with suspicion. "Why don't you come hang with us?"

"Reggie, don't you think you've done enough?" Toni quirked an eyebrow at him, "You broke her fucking glasses last week, I wouldn't expect her to give you the time of day after that."

"Hey, maybe I'm lookin' to make it up to her," Reggie bit back, "She seems to have forgiven you for all the shit _you've_ done to her, what's wrong with me tryin' to earn a little forgiveness?" Toni just stared at him before rolling her eyes, not really sure what to say in response. "That's what I thought," the jock smirked before turning back to Cheryl, 

"So, Blossom, my boy Moose here is newly single. How 'bout a dance?"

"I-I don't-"

"Just _one_ dance, that's all. Come on," Reggie tried to persuade her.

Cheryl glanced up at Moose, who had a genuine smile on his face. Reggie's smirk wasn't exactly comforting, but she had heard about how hard Moose had taken his breakup with Midge, the short-haired girl had already moved on to one of the other jocks in the bunch. She felt bad for him...so maybe one dance wouldn't hurt. 

"One dance," she sighed, stepping towards the more muscular boy.

"See, Moose, told you I was a good wingman," Reggie slapped his back as he escorted Cheryl towards the dance floor. The redhead glanced back in the direction of her friends. The look in Toni's eyes didn't make her feel very good. 

The brunette watched Moose lead Cheryl into the crowd, feeling like she was going to start seeing red from rage. She never thought she would see the day that she was jealous of Moose Mason. "I swear to god, Reggie, if you guys pull some _Carrie_ shit on her-" she caught the football player's arm, catching up with him after he walked away. 

"Chill out, Toni. Moose is just lookin' for a rebound to make Midge jealous."

"And you think _Cheryl Blossom_ is gonna be the one to help with that?" she scoffed.

"Hey, turns out she's hotter than we all thought. What do you care anyways?"

"I don't, I just-"

"Then butt out. Let my boy have some fun," Reggie walked away, leaving Toni standing alone on the edge of the dance floor.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle, Cheryl's arms were awkwardly looped around Moose's neck with his hands on her hips as a slow song played over the speakers. She felt so small compared to him, keeping her eyes focused on the buttons of his shirt, wondering if this was some kind of joke. 

"You look really pretty, Cheryl," he smiled.

"Thank you. I-I'm sorry about Midge," she looked up at him shyly.

"It's okay. Losing her just means I got the chance to dance with the best looking girl here," he shrugged with a smirk, making Cheryl blush. She felt no attraction to Moose whatsoever, but she'd never been complimented by any of the popular kids before, besides Toni. She'd be lying if she said it didn't feel good, even if she wasn't used to it. "Can I get you some punch?" Moose asked, pulling away from her as the song ended. 

"Sure, thanks," she tucked hair behind her ear with a nod, following him to the refreshment table. She stood behind him as he got her a cup, glancing around the gym. This experience was nice, but she would still prefer if she had Toni with her. She was a little upset that her first slow dance wasn't with her girlfriend, but dancing with Moose wasn't as bad as she expected it to be. The tall jock handed her a cup with a smile, drinking his as Cheryl downed her own. She was actually pretty glad she wore this dress. The crowded gym was getting uncomfortably warm, so she was grateful for the dress and the cool drink. "Thanks," she wiped her bottom lip delicately, throwing her paper cup away.

"No problem. Another dance?" he asked, looking like he was nervous about her answer. She didn't want to lead him on. But he seemed like a nice guy. He never personally did anything to her. He mainly just laughed on the sidelines while the others taunted her.

"I guess one more dance wouldn't hurt," she smiled, giggling a little at his goofy, excited grin before she let him lead her back onto the dance floor.

Toni had gone back to standing along the sidelines with Veronica and the rest of the girls, sipping at her own punch. She was trying to keep an eye on Cheryl, making sure that Moose didn't fuck with her. But the redhead looked like she was having a good time, and that was all Toni wanted for her. As long as she was happy. She just wished that she could be the one to dance with her instead of Moose Mason, of all people. It wasn't fair that she couldn't even get a moment alone with her. 

She watched as Cheryl danced with Moose through one more song, then another. And it wasn't until the younger girl's head started to droop as she stumbled over her own feet that Toni started to get suspicious. It was such a quick change in her. One minute she was dancing to "All I Want for Christmas is You", and the next she looked lethargic, unable to keep her own head up. She didn't want to believe what she was seeing, but Moose's smug grin as he kept her on her feet was the final clue. 

"Shit," she whispered, tossing her cup into a trash can and rushing over to them, weaving through people. She knew what Cheryl was feeling right now. She remembered not being able to hold her head up or stand on her own two feet without help. It was all she remembered before she woke up naked in the back of Peter Parkinson's truck the summer before freshman year. 

"Moose, you fucking oaf, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" she hissed as quietly as she could over the loud music, grabbing onto Cheryl as she stumbled a bit towards her. 

"God, Toni, you've become such a killjoy lately," Moose rolled his eyes, "I'm just tryin' to have a little fun."

"Are you seriously telling me that drugging girls to get them to sleep with you is your idea of fun? That's the most desperate and pathetic thing I've ever heard," Toni held Cheryl against her, keeping her up, "Go fuck yourself." She shook her head and dragged the limp redhead away. 

"TT, I feel funny," Cheryl mumbled, sleepily, holding onto her as best she could. But her limbs just didn't want to work like they normally would. She felt like her arms and legs were filled with jell-o, but she was nothing but a mass of air, like she would fall over if someone even breathed too heavily in her direction. 

"I know, hun, we're gonna leave," Toni glanced around for Betty and Archie. She didn't really care about anyone seeing her hauling Cheryl around and helping her. All she cared about was getting her out of here.

"Cheryl, what happened?" Betty asked as Toni approached her and Archie near the edge of the gym by the doors.

"Moose put something in her drink," Toni explained, a little out of breath.

"What?! Are you sure? We have to tell someone! Where's Principal Weatherbee?" Betty rambled before Toni waved a hand in front of her, stopping her from walking away to get help.

"No, just keep your mouth shut about this, I'll take care of it."

"So you can protect your idiot friends? I don't think so," Betty snapped, moving to walk away again, but Toni used her free hand to pull her back.

"Betty. I'm _serious_. I want Moose to fry for this shit as much as you do, but there's a lot more at stake here than you think. I need you to just stay quiet for right now. I know you hate me, but just trust me on this." She could only imagine what would happen if Betty said anything. Sure, Moose would be in a world of trouble, but it would get back to Cheryl's parents for sure. And with Toni having no intention of leaving her side tonight, it would likely lead them right to her door. 

"Why should I-"

"TT, I wanna go home," Cheryl slurred as she pressed herself closer to her girlfriend, hugging her around the neck with what little strength she had left. 

Toni wrapped a protective arm around her waist and watched as the blonde eyed them with a bit of shock, her eyebrows raising suspiciously. "I'm being for real, Betty, I just wanna make sure she's taken care of. I'll have her call you in the morning. Please, just...don't say anything about this to anyone until I have her call you."

"O-okay," she stammered, still shocked as she watched her best friend cuddle close to the girl she _thought_ was her arch nemesis, "How can we help?"

Toni glanced around, nervous and unsure of what to do. Even though it would probably be the best idea, she couldn't take Cheryl to the hospital. All she could think of was to take her home and keep an eye on her. "Help me get her to my car. I'm gonna take her back to my place," she sighed, grateful that she had gone home with Veronica today after school to get ready for the dance at her house.

"Shouldn't you take her back to her house? Maybe her parents will know wh-"

"No, _no way_ ," Toni shook her head, glancing out the open door to make sure that Principal Weatherbee or any other chaperones weren't right outside. 

Archie shed his beige suit jacket, helping Cheryl into it before scooping her up into his arms, ready to carry her out.

"Toni," Cheryl mumbled, fighting to keep her eyes open as her limp hand fell from her girlfriend's. She could feel herself being pulled up into Archie's surprisingly strong hold, whimpering when she couldn't see or feel Toni anymore. But she was way too tired to try to find her again.

"It's okay, Cher, we're getting out of here," she told her, her own voice shaky with adrenaline as she and Betty followed Archie out the doors and through the empty halls of the school. "This way's closer to the parking lot," she took a turn down another hallway that would lead to the side door. She felt like she would freeze on the spot as soon as she stepped outside, walking carefully through the slushy parking lot with no jacket, but she couldn't be bothered to care about the cold right now.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Archie asked, settling Cheryl into the passenger seat of Toni's car, watching as her head dipped tiredly while Toni turned on the engine to get the heat flowing through the vents. 

"I don't know what he gave her or how much, but she should be okay by morning, she's just gonna feel like shit whenever she wakes up," Toni raked her fingers through her own hair. 

"We'll keep an eye on Moose and make sure that he doesn't try to do this to anyone else," Betty shivered, rubbing her arms.

"Thank you. I know you're confused, but I just...I wanna make sure she's okay before anything else," Toni sighed, looking at the redhead in the passenger seat worriedly. 

Betty saw the look on Toni's face, biting her lip. She never would have suspected it, but she seemed genuinely concerned for Cheryl. As long as she kept her safe, that's what mattered, but putting Cheryl in Toni Topaz's care? She had her doubts. "Have her call me the minute she wakes up. Please."

"I will, I swear. Just _please_ don't tell anyone about this, for her sake. Make up excuses if you have to, it's honestly for her own safety," she watched as the two nodded their heads, confusion all over their faces. She thanked them quickly before ducking into the car, letting the warmth cover her like a blanket. 

"TT," Cheryl mumbled again, leaning uncomfortably over the center console to rest her head in Toni's lap.

"We're going home, baby, everything's gonna be okay," Toni put the car in drive, speeding out of the school parking lot.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for talk or rape and attempted rape.

Cheryl felt like she had been hit by a truck. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry, and she just felt weak. The sun streaming through the tattered blinds didn't help matters at all. What even happened last night? She remembered dancing with Moose Mason and having a good time, but she couldn't think of the rest for the life of her. It would have worried her more if the smell of cucumber melon body wash and Chanel perfume weren't filling her nose as she gained consciousness. Those were Toni's scents. She had nothing to worry about, she was safe here with her girlfriend.

Opening her eyes, she squinted in the sunlight. Her eyes itched and stung uncomfortably. Did she sleep with her contacts in? With a yawn, she gently pulled her hand from Toni's and plucked them from her eyes, too tired to care about leaving the flimsy little lenses on the nightstand. The brunette was asleep above the covers beside her, still in her lavender dress from last night. Cheryl noticed she was also in her dress from last night, the red velvet wrinkled and scrunched up around her hips. She pulled the skirt down and laid on her side, reaching up to stroke Toni's cheek with her thumb. She looked exactly the same as last night, except more exhausted with no makeup. And it looked like she had been crying. 

What happened last night that would have Toni crying?

"Toni," she whispered, scooting closer to her as her fingertip trailed over the brunette's plump lips until she started to stir. Her head and body still ached, but she smiled when she saw the light brown eyes she was so fond of.

"Holy shit, you're awake," Toni gasped, waking up instantly when her eyes met Cheryl's. She leaned across the small space between them, wrapping her arm around her in a tight hug, her face tucked against her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep, I was trying to stay awake," her words were muffled against her skin, but Cheryl could hear the cracks in her voice and feel warm tears hit her skin as she kept rambling.

"TT," she interrupted, pulling back enough to see Toni's ducked head, her face covered in tears. She'd never seen her like this. She'd seen Toni get emotional before, but never like this. "Why are you crying? What happened?" she asked, trying to ignore the pounding in her own head as she wiped her girlfriend's tears away.

Toni couldn't bring herself to look into Cheryl's eyes. She couldn't bear to see the familiar, innocent gaze looking back at her. "It's all my fault," she whispered, shaking her head as tears continued to fall, "All of this is my fault, Cheryl, I'm so sorry." Her breathing was ragged as she hiccupped through sobs, her body shaking.

Cheryl wrapped her arms around her weakly, unable to squeeze her as tight as she wanted. "TT, you're scaring me, please tell me what happened," she whispered, her eyes wide and nervous. She tried to press a kiss to her lips, but the brunette turned away, shaking her head. Whatever happened, it must have been serious. She tried her hardest to remember, but after dancing with Moose, everything was just black in her mind. She needed to know, but she was patient, waiting for Toni to calm down enough to tell her.

"What's the last thing you remember from last night?" she sniffled, still not looking at her. 

"I remember dancing with Moose for a few songs," she shrugged, confused, "That's all, though."

"H-he, um..." she wasn't sure how to explain it. It was plain and simple. Moose drugged her and tried to rape her. It was that simple, but she just couldn't say that to Cheryl. "Moose must have slipped something into your drink...when you went with him to get punch. He was...trying to make you some cheap rebound to make Midge jealous or some stupid shit like that," she sniffled, a stray tear falling as she finally looked into the dark brown eyes across from her, "He drugged you to get you to sleep with him. He was trying to..." She trailed off, her heart breaking as she noticed tears clinging desperately to Cheryl's eyelashes before sliding down her cheeks, only to be slowly brushed away by Toni's gentle fingertips. "He was trying to rape you, Cher," her voice cracked even as she whispered.

Cheryl felt her body go numb. She was naive, sure, but she knew what rape was. She heard about it on the news, they prayed for victims in church, but she never thought of herself as someone who was ever at risk of becoming one of them. She'd never even considered the possibility. Not in their quaint little town. "Oh," she muttered, casting her watery eyes down, unsure how to process this information, "D-did he..."

"I saw you starting to stumble around and got you away from him," Toni shook her head, cupping her pale jaw.

The redhead nodded silently, trying to process this information, "How did you know?"

"Cause...it happened to me. A few years ago. I saw the signs," she shrugged, casting her eyes down to the comforter.

"Toni..." 

"But I got you away from him," Toni cut her off, continuing her retelling of the night before. She didn't want to talk about her experience, "I wanted to get you home, but I needed help, so I found Betty and Archie. They helped me get you to the car, and I brought you back here. I wanted to stay with you to make sure you were okay, and I didn't know where else to take you where word wouldn't get back to your parents." 

Cheryl fell into Toni's arms, her body shaking from crying and shock as the brunette raked her fingers through her knotted hair. Her brain was still so scrambled, she didn't even know what to think. There was too much information to process. And the fact that she couldn't remember anything from last night terrified her. 

"I'm sorry, Cheryl. I'm so fucking sorry. He wouldn't have even tried anything with you if it weren't for me. It's all my fault," Toni tried to be strong for her girlfriend, but she was breaking inside, unable to stand the guilt anymore. 

"It's not your fault. You saved me," Cheryl whispered into her shoulder, her body still trembling as she cried. 

"No, you wouldn't even be a target for those assholes if it weren't for me," she shook her head, pulling back a bit to face her, "They fuck with you because of me. Because you were the one I chose to be such a bitch to back in seventh grade. They followed my lead and now you walk around with a big red target on your back because of it. Because of _me_. This would have never happened to you if it weren't for me, Cheryl."

The redhead's face was flushed from crying as she shook her head, a sob escaping her chest. She didn't know how to deny Toni's words. She wanted to, but she couldn't. It was true, she probably wouldn't go through so much torment at school if it weren't for Toni. If she hadn't started to bully her in seventh grade, she would probably just be invisible at Riverdale High. But she was different now. Toni cared about her and protected her. She didn't want her to blame herself for what happened. Especially not when she came to her rescue. 

She cupped her flushed, tan cheek and kissed her deeply, trying to express how she felt without words. She wanted Toni to know that she was grateful for her, that she'd forgiven her. She wanted her to know that there was no one to blame for this but Moose and anyone who knew about the idea. Her lips moved slowly against hers as she tried to make her feel how strongly she felt about her, and how much she longed for the brunette to feel the same way. 

She could taste the saltiness of their mixed tears as she wrapped her arms around Toni's neck. She didn't want to think anymore. Not about last night, not about her and her girlfriend's toxic past, not about her parents or Betty. She just wanted to feel Toni, as if the brunette were an emotion. She kissed her harder, whimpering desperately against her lips as she moved to hover over her, her dress hiking up to her upper thighs. She wanted Toni to make her forget about everything that made her life a tragedy. All she wanted to think about was how good her lips and fingers felt against her skin.

"Cher...baby," Toni tore her lips away, panting as the redhead planted kisses all along the bottom half of her face, "I promised Betty you would call her when you woke up," 

"I can call her later," she mumbled, reaching for Toni's lips again, her fingertips grazing the bare skin of the older girl's collarbone, boldly playing at the top of her tube dress, "I just want you."

"She's worried about you, babe," the brunette sighed against her lips, sitting up carefully as Cheryl straddled her lap. No matter how much Cheryl acted like she was ready for them to take that next step, she couldn't let it happen. Not like this. "Cher, come on, go call her and I'll run a bath for you," she pulled back again as Cheryl chased her, trying to keep their lips together. 

"TT, _please_ ," Cheryl whimpered, her eyes welling up with tears again. 

"Baby, I get it. You're freaked out, you went through something traumatic, and you're probably really overwhelmed," Toni rubbed her sides gently through the crushed velvet of her dress, bringing one hand up to stroke her cheek, "I know you're just looking to forget about it all and take your mind off it. And I want to, Cher. Like, _a lot_. But just...not like this. Not while you're hurting...okay?" She felt bad for rejecting her. But she knew she wasn't really ready. And she would probably just end up more upset if she had decided to lose her virginity on an emotional whim like that.

Cheryl bit her swollen lip, nodding her head as tears striped her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she sniffled, letting Toni wrap her in a tight hug and rock her back and forth.

"Don't be sorry, I understand," she mumbled, kissing around her shoulder and the side of her neck. 

Cheryl remembered that Toni had said that the same thing had happened to her. She didn't know the details, or what happened. But she found herself crying harder at the thought of something like that happening to her TT. Even if it happened back when she was trying her hardest to hate her, when Toni was at her worst, she still never wished for anything bad to happen to her.

"I'll go call her now," she whispered, pulling back slowly and wiping her cheeks of any leftover tears, smiling a little into the chaste kiss her girlfriend placed on her lips.

"Want me to draw you a bath?" Toni tucked red hair behind her ear as Cheryl reached for her black handbag from Toni's nightstand. The redhead just nodded with a sniffle, sliding her glasses onto her face with a quiet, "thank you," getting up after one more kiss.

**xxx**

Cheryl didn't know how she did it, but Toni seemed to just get her. She always seemed to understand exactly what she needed, when she needed it, even if it was something as simple as a warm palm against her skin while they laid on the couch. They had both changed out of their dresses and into some of Toni's long sleep shirts, keeping comfortable for the day. Cheryl had talked to Betty on the phone, but didn't tell her too much. She wanted to talk to her in person, so she planned on meeting her at Pop's around seven. That would give her enough time to just be with her girlfriend and prepare for whatever she was going to say.

She cuddled closer into Toni's embrace, red hair splayed across the former Vixen's chest as she sighed. The brunette had put on some random sitcom for them, but it only served as background noise as they laid in comfortable silence. It was only three in the afternoon, they were in no rush for anything. 

"I never got to tell you how good you looked in that dress," Toni spoke up in the quiet living room, chuckling a little, "I can't believe you actually went out and got it." Cheryl breathed a bit of a laugh through her nose with a slight smile, keeping herself firmly cuddled into her girlfriend's embrace. "Think you wanna try eating something?" Toni mumbled quietly, sighing when Cheryl shook her head no. She hadn't eaten anything yet today, claiming she wasn't hungry. She had been nauseous this morning, but they had been up for at least six hours now. She couldn't still be nauseous. "You gotta eat sometime, babe."

"What happened to you?" Cheryl muttered quietly after a few moments of silence, changing the subject as she twirled a strand of Toni's hair around her finger. 

"Hm?"

"You said earlier that...the same thing happened to you. What happened?" she picked her head up a bit to look at her. Toni's face fell a little and the redhead felt her heart drop, "Never mind, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it."

"No, it's okay," she said quickly, shaking her head as she swallowed hard. She'd never told anyone before. "There's not really a lot to say. It was, um...the summer before freshman year. I dunno if you remember Peter Parkinson, he was captain of the football team and graduated last year. Anyway, I met him at a party a few weeks before school started. He must have put something in my drink when I wasn't paying attention."

Cheryl bit her lip and watched her girlfriend's face as she spoke about her own personal tragedy, moving up her body so her head was tucked against her neck.

"All I remember was just getting really dizzy, not really sure what was going on. I'd been drunk before, but that feeling was something entirely different. I remember asking him to help me find Veronica, and...the next thing I know, I'm waking up in the back of his truck with no clothes on," Toni explained. Cheryl could hear the slight tremble in her voice. "He told me not to tell anyone, because he didn't want to lose his scholarships or get kicked off the football team. He said if I told anyone, he would make sure that high school would be a nightmare for me. I was fourteen, I had no idea what high school was gonna be like. I was so used to being the stupid queen bee in junior high, I didn't know how to be anything else. So...I kept my mouth shut and never told anybody. Meanwhile he paraded around school telling everyone that I let him take my virginity."

Cheryl's heart clenched tightly in her chest. She hated that something like that happened to her, but she was overwhelmed with emotion over the fact that she was the first and only person Toni told. The brunette trusted her enough to share what was probably her deepest darkest secret. "I'm so sorry, TT," she whispered, leaning up to capture her lips gently, letting the brunette pull her closer to her, "I'm so, so sorry that happened to you." She whispered apologies against her girlfriend's lips as a few tears slipped from her eyes. She didn't think she had any tears left in her, but her heart broke for Toni, thinking about how her innocence was stolen from her at such a young age.

"Hey, look at me," the brunette mumbled, pulling back slightly to look into Cheryl's watery eyes, "That's not why I don't think you should say anything about what happened to you, okay? You can do what you want, I just know that if anyone outside of us and your friends find out, it'll get back to your parents. I don't want them to hurt you over something that's not your fault. Cause I know they'll try to make it seem that way."

Cheryl nodded slowly, letting Toni wipe the tears from under her eyes. She wanted to tell someone. The devil on her shoulder wanted Moose Mason to suffer for this. But she knew Toni was right. It would get back to her parents if she told Principal Weatherbee, and they would most likely twist her story to make it seem like she was looking for the attention; Like she deserved it for dressing the way she did. Her parents would only call her an embarrassment once word got around town.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning into the warm palm on her cheek.

"For what, babe?"

"For rescuing me, and taking care of me. And for trusting me enough to tell me your story," she mumbled, "And for never pushing me into anything." She pressed her forehead against hers, breathing her in before their lips met again, something Cheryl knew she would never get sick of.

**xxx**

"Are you sure you don't want me to talk to her with you? I don't mind, babe," Toni asked as she pulled into the side parking lot at Pop's so they could have some privacy.

"Thank you, TT, but I really think I should talk to her by myself. Just to explain everything to her. I'm still not sure if she'll be okay with all of it," she mumbled, toying with the drawstrings of her favorite yellow hoodie that Toni let her borrow. Like Jason's baseball cap, it brought her comfort and made her feel safe as if it was a shield. 

"Okay. Well...call me if you need me," the brunette reached over to fiddle with the ends of Cheryl's long red hair. She didn't want to freak her out by reminding her that there was a chance that Betty wouldn't drive her home, or that the blonde might not accept her anymore after tonight. She was pretty sure that she was more nervous than Cheryl was. 

"I will," she nodded, leaning over the small space between them, kissing her slowly in the dark car before saying goodbye, walking inside with a plastic bag of her clothes and belongings. She sat down in a booth and looked out the window, seeing Toni's car slowly driving by. She loved how much Toni cared about her. And she knew that if the roles were reversed, she would be doing the same thing for her. Her leg bounced anxiously as she waited for Betty to show up, trying not to pick at the loose threads of Toni's hoodie. What were the chances that Betty wouldn't want to be her friend anymore after this? What if she thought she was a freak and told everyone? 

She ordered two milkshakes, vanilla and strawberry, and some fries to split between the two of them while she waited, looking at the door every time the bell jingled. She was starting to think that Betty wasn't going to show up when she finally saw her blonde ponytail come through the door. She bit down hard on her lip when she saw her, her blue eyes were filled with concern. That was a good sign, right? She stood up from the booth as she approached, finding herself being pulled into a tight hug within seconds. 

"I'm so glad you're okay. I barely slept last night, I was so worried," Betty breathed a sigh of relief as they sat down in the booth.

"I'm okay. I still have a little bit of a headache, but that's it," Cheryl nodded with a hint of a smile, "Toni made sure I was taken care of." The mention of Toni made her heartbeat pick up speed, unsure of how Betty would react. As far as she knew, the blonde hated Toni's guts.

"You and Toni are...closer than I thought you were," Betty toyed with the straw of her vanilla milkshake after it had arrived.

"Betty, there's been a lot going on this year that I haven't been honest about..." she mumbled, "And I'll tell you everything if you promise not to tell anyone." She held out a pinky finger, waiting for Betty to link one of her own. The two of them had been friends since elementary school. They shared secrets with each other all their lives, but none of them were ever this heavy. 

Betty seemed to hesitate as she stared at Cheryl's extended pinky, making the redhead nervous. But she straightened up and nodded, hooking a little finger with hers. "I promise." Cheryl could already feel the weight being lifted from her shoulders.

"I don't know where to start," she sighed, swirling her straw around in her shake.

"Start at the beginning."

She looked up at her nervously. What even _was_ the beginning? "I guess it started at the homecoming game," she mumbled, shrugging slowly. She walked her best friend through the first few weeks of school, her experiences with Toni, accidentally meeting in the dark room, the fall festival, the drawing and list she'd made, their first kiss...but she timidly approached the topic of her father's cruelty. But she was tired of defending him and lying to make him look good.

"There was one night, the weekend you were watching Vegas...my dad hit me. On the face, which he's never done before. I got scared and called her to pick me up. I stayed the whole weekend at her house and we just...got closer."

"Your dad hit you?" Betty's jaw dropped, "But-"

"Betty, my dad's not a good guy. I didn't want to tell you, because I know how much you look up to him, but...he's just not the person you think he is. He's shady and a liar and he's been treating me like crap since I was a kid. Remember when I broke my arm? A little after Jay Jay died?"

"Yeah, you said you fell off the swing set," Betty's brows furrowed as she tried to process all this new information. 

"That's what he told me to tell people. He pulled me out of a chair too hard and broke my arm just for talking about Jason," she frowned, looking down at her hands, "He's gotten really bad over the past few months."

"I just can't believe he would do that. The night I drove you home after you bailed on that date you went on...?"

"The bruises from that night just finally faded recently," the redhead whispered, pushing her glasses up. She hated springing this on Betty, especially after the girl spent her entire life practically worshipping her father. 

"Gosh, Cheryl...I don't know what to say...I'm sorry, I had no idea he was like that."

"You didn't know cause I didn't want you to know, Betts. You don't have to be sorry for that. But that's one of the main reasons I've been so secretive lately. If certain things get back to my parents, like last night...I don't know what will happen."

"So like, the day you left school early a few weeks ago...?"

"Toni was sick, I went to take care of her," Cheryl sighed through her nose. She could feel the weight being lifted from her shoulders and she would be lying if she said it didn't feel amazing.

"So all this time you've been talking about a Tommy...it's been Toni?" Betty's eyebrows raised a bit at Cheryl's nod, "Toni _Topaz?_ " Cheryl nodded again. "I just don't understand, I thought you hated her."

"I guess I tried to," she shrugged, "I know it sounds weird, but even after everything, I could never bring myself to hate her. Even when she was at her worst in freshman year." Her chest tightened a little, remembering the reason why Toni was the way she was in ninth grade, going out of her way to torment her, the pink streak in her hair from her "wannabe rebel phase". But she tried not to think about that.

"I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. I don't know why. Especially since she should be the _last_ person for me to fall for, but...these past few months with her, I just..." she trailed off, shaking her head, "She makes me so happy, Betty. The way I feel when I'm with her, I didn't think it was possible to feel that way. I can't even describe it. And I understand that you might think it's wrong, or it's weird, but...I love her, Betts." Her chest felt light as her heart pounded. She'd never said it out loud before, and she'd been debating it in her head for weeks, but she was sure of it. She _**loved**_ Toni Topaz.

"Whoa," the blonde exhaled sharply with a hint of a smile, "You're really serious."

"I am," she laughed breathily, feeling so much lighter without the heavy burden of secrets on her shoulders, "I'm sorry I never told you about any of this, I wasn't sure how you would react, honestly. I was afraid to lose you as my best friend."

The blonde just shook her head with a smile, reaching across the table for her hand. "You could never lose me as your best friend, Cheryl. I've never been Toni's biggest fan, but if she makes you happy like you say she does, I can give her a chance."

"Thank you, Betts. That means a lot to me. And I don't mind if you tell Archie about this, just as long as he can keep it a secret. I don't want my parents knowing that Toni and I are even friends."

"How come?"

"They've hated her and her family for a while. I don't know why, they've never told me. But I'm worried about what would happen to her or me if they found out."

"Well...your secret's safe with me, Cheryl. I promise."


	29. Chapter 29

_"Bright and early, babe,"_ was something Cheryl was so used to hearing on Sunday nights. It was like a routine now. She would sneak downstairs after her parents fell asleep, close herself in the pantry, and talk on the phone with Toni. Even if neither of them had anything of importance to say, it didn't feel right if they ended their Sundays without a phone call and a promise to meet in the dark room the next morning.

But Cheryl wasn't exactly looking forward to school today. After the dance on Friday, she wasn't sure she wanted to face anyone. And she definitely didn't want to run into Moose. She was just grateful that she didn't have any classes with him. But she pushed the thought down as she dropped her winter jacket off in her locker and made her way to the photography lab on the second floor, trying not to slip on the tile with her shoes covered in melted snow. 

As usual, she pushed her way into the classroom, dropping her bag at a desk and opened the door to the dark room, biting her lip when she saw Toni waiting for her like she always was. "Hi," she mumbled, shyly, tucking hair behind her ear shyly. Why did she still get so nervous around her?

"Hey, cutie," the brunette smirked, turning around in the swiveling desk chair. She pulled the giggly redhead into her lap, her arms wrapping securely around her waist as she leaned up to kiss her. "You okay?" she cocked her head a bit to the side. She didn't exactly expect Cheryl to be eager to come to school today, but she wanted to make sure that she wasn't crippled with anxiety either.

Cheryl nodded, playing with the rings on Toni's fingers distractedly, "Just a little nervous," she admitted with a slight nod, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I'm not really sure what to expect."

"You don't have any classes with any of those guys, do you?" Toni's hand came up to brush loose strands of hair from her face.

She shook her head and leaned into her palm when she cupped her cheek after tucking hair behind her head. "Just study hall with Sweet Pea and Reggie..."

"And me."

"And you," Cheryl chuckled. As it was, she wasn't nervous about going to study hall, knowing that Toni would be there. She ran her fingers up and down the soft green and black flannel on Toni's arms, feeling each and every fabric pill under her fingertips. "Are _you_ gonna be okay today?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not gonna try to kill anyone are you?" Cheryl smirked.

"I guess I won't _try_ to, but I _want_ to," she mirrored her smirk, the playful, but devilish grin spreading on her face, "But seriously, if anyone gives you any shit, tell me."

"I hope they won't...but if I tell you they do, you can't kill them," she leaned her forehead against Toni's, sighing inwardly.

"Wish I could kill Moose. I hate that he's getting away with the shit he tried to pull on you." Toni's whispering voice was calm, but Cheryl could feel her tensing up under her. She ran her hands up to the sides of her neck, running her thumbs over the warm, tanned skin as she kissed her slowly.

"He has to live with himself. Let karma take care of him," she whispered with a bit of a solemn smile, kissing her again just before the classroom door closed outside the dark room, forcing them to separate. 

"You're too nice," Toni mumbled as Cheryl got off her lap, standing up just as Mr. Clemmons opened the door, "Hey, Mr. C."

"Hey girls. Did you have fun at the dance?" the older man smiled, setting his things down, "I got some great photos for the paper."

"Lots of fun. Thank you, Mr. Clemmons," Cheryl nodded, tucking hair behind her ear as she headed for the door, Toni trailing behind her.

**xxx**

Cheryl opened up her plastic lunch box, trying to calm her nerves. She had packed herself a thermos of soup, her favorite comfort food, knowing that she might need it today. She had to be in the same room as Moose and everyone else from the popular crowd during lunch. She didn't know how many of them knew about Moose's plan to drug her, but she didn't feel comfortable being in the same room as any of them after Friday night. They'd pushed her, and teased her, and humiliated her, but none of them had ever stooped so low until now.

She ignored their voices behind her and smiled at Betty and Archie as they sat down across from her at the table, pouring her soup out carefully. She was thankful that the chatter of other students got louder as they filled the cafeteria, drowning out the noise of the popular kids table. She blew carefully on the steaming soup in her spoon when she felt a weight plop down on the bench beside her, getting her attention. 

Toni had surprised her plenty of times in the past, but Cheryl didn't think she'd ever been more stunned to see her than she was now, seated beside her unpacking her lunch from a crumpled brown bag as if it were nothing. She watched as the brunette's eyes lifted to meet all three of their gaping stares. 

"What?" she shrugged, biting into her sandwich. 

Archie and Betty looked at each other before wordlessly turning back to the food in front of them. They both knew about Cheryl and Toni, but that didn't make it any less shocking to see Toni commit social suicide by deciding to sit with them. Cheryl looked her girlfriend up and down, wondering what she was doing. But she didn't seem to have a reason. She was just...sitting and eating her lunch.

"Uh, Toni, what the hell?" Veronica stopped at the head of their table with her lunch tray.

"Is there a problem, Veronica?" Toni rolled her eyes before looking up at the raven-haired Vixen.

"You're just having a quick little newspaper meeting and then coming back to sit with us, right?" she gestured to the small group of outcasts.

"No, V. I have more than one group of friends, and I felt like sitting with this one today," Toni told her pointedly, holding her head high. She wasn't angry at Veronica, but she didn't appreciate being told where she should and shouldn't sit.

"Oookay, I'll see you in English I guess," the cheerleader walked away, leaving the four of them in an awkward silence. 

"So," Toni spoke up after Veronica was gone, breaking the silence and changing the subject, "You guys hear Mariah Carey's new song?"

**xxx**

Lunch passed by faster than ever. Toni really livened up their lunch table. She even told a joke that almost made milk come out of Archie's nose. It was important to Cheryl that Archie and Betty be civil with Toni. She wasn't too worried about Archie, but she knew that Betty wasn't exactly Toni's biggest fan, and vice versa. But the blonde had promised to give her a chance, and today the two of them ended up laughing together over what had happened in the latest episode of Friends. It warmed Cheryl's heart to see her girlfriend and her best friend actually getting along for once. Now that her friends knew about Toni, she didn't feel nearly as tense as she normally did. Maybe things were finally looking up.

"You don't have to walk me to class, you know," Cheryl blushed as she held onto her textbooks tightly, glancing down at her feet. First Toni had decided to sit with them at lunch, and now she was risking being late to class just to escort her to Spanish? She didn't know what was going on with her, but she wasn't going to complain about it.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I do things cause I _want_ to," the brunette smirked as they walked slowly through the halls, "I just wanna make sure you get to class okay."

Cheryl's face stayed flushed as she ducked her head, looking at her sneakers. It did make her feel safer having Toni by her side in the halls. "I'm okay, TT, no one's bothered me today," she looked over at her with a shy smile, keeping her voice down. But as usual, she spoke too soon, because the next thing she knew, the textbooks were getting knocked out of her arms by a muscular arm as someone bumped her shoulder walking by. 

"Sup, Blossom? You have fun after the dance?" Sweet Pea laughed, high fiving Moose and Reggie who were walking with him.

She closed her eyes and willed herself to stay calm, trying not to remember the possibility of what could have happened to her that night. Kneeling down to pick up her books, she gathered them with a sigh and stood back up, seeing that Toni wasn't where she had been standing beside her a moment ago. 

"Hey!" Toni's sharp voice made her flinch as she pushed her glasses up, watching the brunette stomp down the hall after them. Cheryl barely had time to react before she saw Toni forcibly pull on Moose's shoulder to turn him around and punch him so hard in the nose that the sound rang through the halls, getting the attention of the other students in the hallway. She nearly dropped her books again in surprise as she watched everything from afar. 

"Toni, what the fuck?!" Sweet Pea gaped at her before looking at Moose, who was holding his bloody, broken nose.

"Jesus, Toni, a guy makes one comment about your stalker girlfriend and you break Moose's fucking nose?" Reggie stepped closer to her, only to have his shin kicked by the small brunette's firm leather shoes, making him double over in pain. A chorus of "oooh"s filled the space around them from the other students who hadn't yet made it to class.

"Anything you'd like to add?" she turned to Sweet Pea, looking up at the boy who was twice her size, ready to kick his ass if necessary. He shook his head nervously, holding his hands up and backing away. "I swear, if you assholes don't leave her the _**fuck**_ alone-"

"What is going on out here?" Toni's old geometry teacher came out of her classroom, approaching Toni and the boys. Cheryl's already racing heartbeat picked up speed as she watched. She willed herself to move, to step in. But she was stuck in place, too stunned to move.

"She broke Moose's nose and kicked me in the shin!" Reggie pointed at the brunette, who was standing her guard with her hands firmly on her hips. 

"Is that true, Toni?" the middle aged woman looked at her.

Toni wanted to fight back and defend her actions, but she took a deep breath and nodded her head, rage still apparent on her face as her heart pounded. 

The teacher sighed and shook her head, "Everyone get to class. Mr. Mason, go to the nurse. Toni, let's go see Principal Weatherbee." She guided Toni to turn around and head back down the hall, holding her by the elbow. Cheryl's jaw was slacked as they walked in her direction, clutching her books to her chest. "Get to class, Miss Blossom," the woman told her gently.

Cheryl nodded her head as they passed her and around to watch her take Toni around the corner to the stairwell, the brunette turning to flash her that signature smirk before Cheryl lost sight of her completely.

**xxx**

She could hear her father snoring down the hall. Right on time. Her parents were so predictable, they were always asleep by 10:30 every night. But she appreciated the fact, because it gave her a perfect window to sneak downstairs to call her girlfriend. She padded down slowly in her bunny slippers, tip-toeing into the kitchen for her typical Sunday night routine. But with it being a Monday, she was sure that Toni wouldn't be expecting her call. Picking the phone up from the cradle, she dialed the number she knew by heart and closed herself into the pantry as always, sliding down the wall to sit on the cool wooden floor.

 _"Hey, you,"_ Toni's voice brought a smile to her face, though she was surprised to not hear her usual _"Topaz"_ greeting.

"How'd you know it was me?" she giggled quietly, already curling the phone cord around her finger.

_"You're the only one who calls this late,"_ she could hear her smirking on the other end, _"Everything okay?"_

"Yeah, I just wanted to check on you. I can't believe you got a month's worth of Saturday detentions, that's so unfair."

_"Wait, how did you know that?"_

"Let's just say Betty's close with the office staff," she smiled solemnly.

_"I guess now I don't have to break that bad news to you tomorrow,"_ Toni sighed into her ear, _"Technically it's gonna be more than a month, cause two of those Saturdays we'll be on Christmas break. So I'll be clapping erasers and washing chalkboards til mid-January."_

"And all Moose got was a broken nose," she frowned, picking at the loose threads of her pajama pants, "I still can't believe you did that."

_"He deserved a lot more than a broken nose. I know it's for the best if we don't tell anyone what happened at the dance, but fuck..."_

"I know...Thank you for sticking up for me, TT...and for walking me to class."

_"What are girlfriend's for?"_ the brunette smiled into the phone, making Cheryl's heart race in her chest. It had been about two months since Toni asked her to be her girlfriend and she still got butterflies when she thought about it. She wanted to tell her so bad, how she'd been feeling. But she didn't want to scare her away. What if it was too soon for something like that?

_"You still there?"_

"Yeah, I'm here. Just thinking..."

_"About what?"_

Should she tell her? It was eating her alive, she was dying inside. Something this big couldn't be kept a secret for long. "Just about..." she sighed, "Asking you what you're doing over Christmas break."

_"Probably hanging out at home if I'm not being dragged to the mall with Veronica. Why?"_

"Well, my parents are going to New York City for New Years...I'll have the house from the 30th to the 2nd...if you wanted to come over," she bit her lip, curling the cord tighter around her finger as she waited for an answer. She didn't know what she was so nervous for. She slept over at _her_ house, and Toni's house was more of a secret than hers. 

_"Yeah, totally,"_ Toni's voice sounded much more calm and collected than she thought, like she had just asked for something as simple as a spare dime for the payphone.

"Really?"

_"Yeah, why not?"_

A smile spread across her face as she released the breath she didn't know she was holding. She didn't know why she was acting like she just won the lottery. Something about knowing that Toni would be in her house again made her giddy. She'd only been inside once, months ago when they had their first kiss. Cheryl was ready to make new, happy memories with her in her gloomy old house.

"Okay, cool," she sighed, trying not to sound too excited or overeager, "I can give you your Christmas present when you come."

_"I'll bring yours then,"_ Toni laughed a little through a small, audible yawn.

"Go to bed, cutie," the redhead smirked, cradling the phone to her ear.

_"Hey, that's my name for you."_

"Well, you're still cute when you're sleepy," she giggled.

_"You can't even see me."_

"I've seen you when you're going to bed and when you're just waking up, so I know for a _fact_ that you're cute when you're sleepy." 

Toni just scoffed playfully at her words before yawning again, making Cheryl do the same. _"I'll see you at school tomorrow, baby."_

"Okay. Goodnight, TT."

_"Night, Cher."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was kinda short. i'm hoping the next two chapters will make up for it wink wink nudge nudge


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope all of you who celebrate thanksgiving had a great one yesterday! and if you don't, i hope you had a great thursday!

Cheryl fluffed up the couch pillows for the millionth time, pacing around the living room as she bit nervously at her thumbnail. She didn't know what she was so nervous for. Toni was coming over, but it's not like she was coming over to judge her mother's questionable decorating skills and then leave. She was staying for at least one night just to spend time with her. Her house wasn't exactly as warm and welcoming as Toni's, but she filled with living room with pillows and blankets, moving the coffee table aside to make room for the comfortable nest she'd made for them. Maybe this was too lame. Toni was way too cool for a girly little sleepover like the ones she would have with Betty. 

She groaned and went to pick everything up, but the doorbell ringing through the house stopped her in her tracks as her heart leapt into her throat. Was it six already? She brushed her long hair from her face and maneuvered around the array of pillows and blankets to walk to the door, saying a silent prayer that Toni didn't think she was a complete geek for this. She somehow got more nervous and relaxed at the same time when she opened the door, seeing her girlfriend hike a floppy duffel bag up higher onto her shoulder with a warm smile. 

"Hey," the brunette grinned, wiping her snowy shoes off on the doormat, "Happy New Year."

Cheryl just laughed at her smirking comment, stepping aside to let her in and taking her bag for her. "Last I checked it's still 1995 for another six hours," she glanced at her watch, giggling against Toni's bare lips when they met her own. She could feel herself melting into her already. They hadn't seen each other since the last day of school before Christmas break a little over a week ago and she wondered how she had made it so long without a single kiss from her girlfriend. "I was just setting everything up, but...you can't laugh, okay?"

"What would I laugh at?" Toni eyed her suspiciously.

With a sigh, Cheryl took her hand and lead her to the spacious living room, gesturing to the nest of pillows and blankets that she'd made. Her mouth opened to speak, but Toni's laughter cut her off. "You said you wouldn't laugh," she whined through her own giggles, stomping her foot gently against the rug, "It's lame, I know, I just thought-"

"No, no, I love it," Toni shook her head and pecked her lips again, still breathing out the slightest bit of laughter, "it's cute."

Cheryl just blushed and watched as Toni walked around the living room she'd been in only once before, looking around at all the expensive looking antiques that hung on the walls and sat on the shelves. "Do you want a tour? Or something to drink?" she asked, nervously rubbing her arm.

"I'll take a tour," Toni shrugged, "I haven't seen any of your room aside from the frilly pink curtains in the window." 

The redhead blushed and tried to bite back a smile as she held her hand out, watching anxiously as Toni crossed the room to take it. Tangling their fingers together, Cheryl lead her towards the kitchen as her heart pounded in her chest as if she was holding Toni's hand for the first time ever. But she'd never held her hand in her own house before. The house where she was raised to believe that something as simple as holding hands with a girl would send her straight to hell.

"What are you so tense for?" Toni chuckled, nudging her as Cheryl showed her the kitchen and dining room.

"My house isn't as...cozy as yours," she muttered, running her free hand over the dark mahogany of the chair at the head of the dining room table. 

Toni looked around and shrugged, "I guess it's got a little bit of an Addams Family vibe to it. Doesn't mean it can't be cozy."

Cheryl just smiled and bit her lip, taking her back into the hall, gesturing to doors rather than leading her into them. "That door is my father's office. And across from that is a guest bedroom that only ever gets used by my nana," she explained, pointing to the dark wooden doors.

"Is this the bathroom?" Toni twisted the crystal knob on the door beside her before Cheryl could protest. The redhead dropped her hand and stepped back quickly, keeping an eye on her girlfriend as she seemed to survey the small closet, "Okay, definitely _not_ a bathroom."

"That's, umm..." she didn't know how to explain it. She couldn't exactly say _'that's where my parents lock me in to pray when I've misbehaved'_. Toni would go running straight for the door without looking back. "That's where I have to study the bible sometimes," she bit her lip, wringing her hands together nervously as she looked down at her feet. 

Toni eyed the multiple crosses, figurines, and melted candles on the shelves, trying to wrap her head around it. The way Cheryl was reacting, she had a feeling that there was more behind this little prayer closet than she let on. But she wasn't going to force her to talk about it. "Sorry," she muttered, closing the door.

"It's okay. The bathroom's the next door on the right," Cheryl rubbed her arm, her shoulders hunched up as she kept her eyes cast down. She could feel Toni's eyes on her, her cheeks flaming up with embarrassment. Toni knew plenty of her dark secrets, it wasn't like one more could do any more damage. There was an awkward silence between them as they stood a foot apart in the hallway. Cheryl tried her hardest to push away the thoughts in her head that told her that Toni thought she was a freak, or to send her home; That letting her come over was a mistake. 

"Come on, show me your room," she felt the brunette's warm fingers grasp onto her own again, squeezing reassuringly. 

Cheryl picked her head up, immediately comforted by Toni's gentle smile. She giggled quietly when the older girl leaned to kiss her forehead and caught her lips with hers briefly before leading her up the stairs and straight to her bedroom.

"It's nothing special, but it's a nice break from the gothic tone of the rest of the house, I guess," she shrugged, turning the light on. The walls were a pale lavender with her four poster bed between two windows on the other side. Her bedroom was easily the size of half of Toni's whole trailer, but she made good use of the space. 

"It's very...you," Toni stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed.

"How so?" she leaned against the door frame, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip again.

"Just...simple. And authentic. But still warm and welcoming. Just like you," the brunette looked around as Cheryl smiled shyly. The redhead still couldn't even believe that Toni was in her room. She never thought she would see the day.

"Come on, I wanna show you something," she held her hand out again, sliding her glasses up the bridge of her nose with the other as Toni got up. She lead her out of the room and turned the knob to the door across from hers, letting the warm light from Jason's lamp fill the room. She could feel Toni's hand tense a bit in hers, but she stood in the middle of the room with the brunette, her chest tightening a bit with nerves. "This was Jason's room," she said quietly, watching Toni glance around, "I'm sorry if this is weird or creepy, I just...wanted to show you." She said a silent prayer in her head that Toni wasn't creeped out. It was like having a tomb in their house, keeping all of Jason's things the way that they'd been left when he was last alive. But she had grown so used to it, and it brought her comfort, having the memory of her brother around. 

"You guys were close, huh?" Toni dropped her hand, moving to the dresser to get a closer look at a framed photo of the twins, running her finger across the dusty glass over five year old Cheryl's face.

"He was my best friend," she nodded, starting to wring her hands again, grateful that the two biggest secrets she kept in this house hadn't scared her girlfriend off. But she still watched nervously as Toni's eyes skimmed the small variety of photos on the dresser.

The older girl bit her lip gently, a slight twinge of jealousy stinging in her chest. When her parents died, she was given a trash bag to fill up with clothes and any important belongings she wanted to take with her from her house on Elm Street. She remembered being ten years old and fighting with the social worker who had escorted her home to pack because her father's leather Serpent jacket was deemed too 'inappropriate' to take with her to her new foster home. And she ended up leaving with just some clothes, her mother's favorite photo of the three of them, and her father's camera dangling around her neck. Everything else in her house was to be donated or thrown away. 

"Toni?" Cheryl's voice broke her from her trance as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry, I, uh...spaced out, I guess," she shook her head, turning around to face her.

"It's okay, you just hadn't said anything for a few minutes. I'm sorry if this freaked you out, I just-"

"Hey, it's okay," Toni cut her off with a finger to her lips, "Thank you for showing me...Why _did_ you show me, though?"

"Well, last month...when you took me to the roof of Dupree's, you told me that it was a place that was special to you. It meant a lot to you and your family, and you shared it with me. I just thought that...showing you Jay Jay's room and sharing this with you would make you feel the same way I did that night."

The summery brown hue of Toni's eyes on her made her feel warm and happy before the brunette's arms were wrapped tightly around her in a hug. She squeezed her back tightly and breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume and shampoo, rubbing up and down the back of her shirt.

_"Tell her now, it's the perfect time,"_ Cheryl thought to herself as she kept her girlfriend in the warm hug, _"Just tell her."_

"Come on, let's go back downstairs," she whispered with a sigh, kissing Toni's cheek before leading her out of the room. She couldn't do it. Not yet.

**xxx**

"So that's where your parents are?" Toni asked, pointing to the TV as Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve played on the screen, showing live footage from Times Square in New York City.

"No, they're probably at some fancy party in a penthouse suite," Cheryl rolled her eyes, flipping the fortune teller she'd just made in her hands, "They were invited by the St. Clairs." Toni gagged dramatically at the mention of the family, making her giggle. 

"And you weren't?" the brunette asked curiously, taking a bite of pizza as they sat on the pile of pillows and blankets in the living room. 

"I was, but my parents thought that it would be best if I stay home so I don't make a fool of myself or them," she sighed, idly flipping the folded paper back and forth, "Again."

"Lucky me, then," Toni smiled at her, her face lit up with the light from the Christmas tree and television. There was a small fire burning in the fireplace, keeping the room warm from the harsh chill coming inside through the thin old walls. 

"I'd much rather be here with you anyways," the redhead smiled shyly, giggling when Toni nudged her. 

"Good to know. I gotta pee, be right back," Toni got up and brushed crumbs off her pajama pants before dashing across the room to the hall, leaving Cheryl alone.

She sighed to herself and crawled to the Christmas tree, reaching for the small wrapped gift she'd put behind the stand and under the tree skirt to hide it from her parents. The plain red paper shimmered under the white lights and Cheryl felt her hands starting to shake. What if Toni didn't like it? It really wasn't a lot, but it had meaning behind it. She just hoped that Toni wouldn't think it was too corny.

"Never thought a pastor would be the type of guy to keep enough alcohol in the house to keep him warm through a whole winter," Toni's chuckling voice rang from behind her, making Cheryl turn around. She was holding one of her father's half empty bottles of bourbon in one hand and two glasses in the other. 

"Where did you get that?"

"From the giant liquor cabinet in the hall. You want some?" the brunette came over to sit down beside her again. 

Cheryl stared at the bottle in her hands, watching as she poured it into one of the stout glasses from her father's liquor cabinet. She'd had alcohol before. Not in large amounts, just a sip of wine at communion every Sunday and a glass of champagne at her cousin's wedding last year. Her father would be furious with her if he found out. But he had dozens of bottles of multiple shapes and sizes in the cabinet, all with varying amounts of alcohol inside. It's not like he kept track. The only way he would find out was if she didn't properly wash the glasses and put them back before they came home in two days. "I'll have a little," she mumbled just above a whisper, smiling nervously as Toni poured a bit for her.

She thanked her quietly, giggling when the brunette insisted on clinking their glasses together before drinking. She took a small sip, trying not to scrunch up her nose at the feeling of it tingling on her tongue. She could taste the bitter tang of alcohol through the oaky vanilla flavor and squeezed her eyes shut when it burned its way down her throat, warming her up instantly. It wasn't her favorite thing to drink, but she took another sip, hoping that it would put her nerves at ease.

"I have your Christmas present," she cleared her burning throat, holding up the small red package and with a pink paper bow. 

"Oh yeah," Toni's eyes widened, reaching for her duffel bag and sifting through it until she pulled out a similarly small package, wrapped in personally decorated white printer paper, "Sorry, I can't wrap for shit. Open yours first, though."

Cheryl smiled and took the small colorful rectangle from her, biting her lip as she carefully tore open the paper. There was a cassette case underneath. The paper inside was decorated with little hearts and stars with _'Songs for Cher'_ written in Toni's scratchy handwriting. "Is this a mixtape?" she giggled, flipping it over to the list of songs Toni had written down. She knew most, if not all of them. Selena, Duran Duran, All-4-One, and Oasis were a few of the artists she knew of. But the last track had no artist listed. It just said _'10 Things'._

"Sorry, it's lame. I didn't wanna buy you just anything like I would for someone else," Toni shrugged, sipping at her bourbon again, "But...don't listen to it until later, okay?"

"Okay," the redhead nodded, curious as to why. But she could see the serious hope in Toni's eyes and she didn't want to go against her wishes, "How much later?"

"I dunno...After tonight, I guess," she quirked her lips to the side with another shrug. 

Cheryl just nodded and looked down at the tape case again with a smile."Thank you, TT," she blushed, handing her own gift over to her, "You must have put a lot of thought into this. I didn't get you anything this personal and heartfelt."

"I'm sure I'll love it anyways," the brunette took the package from her, opening it as Cheryl took a swig of her drink. She opened the maroon velvet box that was under the paper, her jaw slacking a bit at the gold necklace inside. 

"It's not as fancy as the box makes it look. I mean it's from Claire's," Cheryl spoke quickly before Toni got the wrong idea. She watched with a rapidly beating heart as Toni picked up the gold chain and eyed the _'C'_ pendant that dangled from the bottom of it. She met Toni's eyes before the brunette looked back down at the pendant. She hadn't said anything yet, and the silence was killing her. "I-I got one for me too," she stammered nervously, pulling her own slim gold chain and _'T'_ pendant from under her large grey crew neck, showing her. "I just thought that maybe when you wore it, you'd think of me or feel like I'm with you even when we're not together, cause...I dunno, that's how I feel when I wear mine and it makes me feel better..."

She bit her lip as her heart pounded, watching as Toni set the necklace back in the velvet box. Maybe she didn't like it, or thought it was weird. She cast her eyes down to the glass in her hands, mentally kicking herself. She should have just gotten her a few rolls of film for her camera. "I'm sorry, I-" she started, but was quickly cut off by Toni's lips, tasting her candy cane flavored Lip Smackers and the bourbon on her tongue. She let out a small whimper of surprise as the brunette held her face in her gentle hands. She felt warm and toasty inside from the burning fire and the bourbon. That and the feeling of Toni's lips on hers made her feel like she would melt into a puddle right there on the living room floor. 

"I love it," Toni pulled back just enough to whisper against her lips, pecking them once more before turning her back to her, "Put it on for me?"

Cheryl nodded, taking the necklace from her when she handed it over. She unclasped it carefully as Toni pulled her hair up and off her neck, scooting closer on her knees so she was right behind her, almost flush against her back. Her breath caught in her throat as she raised the necklace up and over her girlfriend's head, slowly clasping the ends together before letting the chain rest against her soft, caramel skin. 

"Thanks," the brunette smiled, turning around to kiss her again, "I really do love it."

"You don't have to wear it all the time. I know it'll be kind of hard to wear once spring and summer come," Cheryl mumbled.

"We'll still be together then?" Toni cocked her head to the side with a smirk, sipping at her drink again.

"Won't we?" the younger girl looked up at her with hopeful eyes, biting her lip in anticipation. 

Toni looked her up and down, eyeing the _'T'_ that dangled just below her collar, sighing as she poured herself more bourbon, "I hope so."

"Me too."

**xxx**

"Oh my god, what do you _mean_ you've never seen it?" Toni's mouth gaped open as Cheryl laughed. They'd been laughing for what felt like forever. The alcohol had worked its way into their systems over the past hour and both girls were left feeling giggly and loose. They weren't exactly drunk, but they certainly weren't sober either. Cheryl had shed her crew neck, leaving her in her pajama pants and a red tank top, and somehow Toni had ended up with Cheryl's glasses on her face.

"I just never have," Cheryl giggled, wiping at her tearing eyes, "I mean, it came out when we were like, eight years old. It's not a kids movie."

"I guess not. We have to watch it, though. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a classic," Toni took the glasses off her face and moved to get up.

Cheryl just giggled and watched her, putting her glasses back on, "Where are you going?" 

"I'm gonna run to Blockbuster and see if they have it," the brunette looked back at her.

"What?" Cheryl's giggling stopped immediately, her eyes wide behind the smudged lenses of her glasses, "Toni, no."

"No, it's okay, they close at ten, I've got time," Toni shook her head, going into the foyer for her shoes and jacket. 

Cheryl got up and followed her, stumbling a bit on the way. Her tolerance for alcohol wasn't as high as most people. "TT, don't go out and drive," she groped at her girlfriend's jacket, trying to take it off of her.

"Cher, it's fine. The store is like, right up the road," Toni tugged her jacket back, giggling as they wrestled over the black puffed up vinyl. 

"But you've been drinking, you can't drive," Cheryl told her seriously, weakly pulling at her jacket again. Her face was flushed from laughing so much, but she could feel the heat in her cheeks return as her eyes started to fill with sudden tears.

"I feel fine, Cher, I'm not wasted," Toni zipped up her jacket, "I'm not even drunk."

"I don't want you to go out like this," the redhead told her more firmly.

"Babe, it's fi-"

"It's _**not**_ fine!" she snapped, her voice raising higher than she expected as her vision turned blurry from the tears lingering in her eyes, "It's _not_ fine! My brother was killed by a drunk driver! He was taken away from me! I'm not gonna lose you over the same stupid mistake!" She was still clinging weakly to her sleeve, her shoulders shaking as the tears started to slip down her cheeks. 

Toni stared at her in shock, quite taken back by her outburst. But she pulled the quivering redhead to her, hugging her tightly around the shoulders as she 'shh'ed her quietly. Cheryl's fingers trembled as she weakly fumbled with the zipper of Toni's jacket, trying to take it off of her again as she cried against the puffy material on her shoulders. "Please don't go, please..." she whimpered, sniffling through her heavy sobs, "I can't lose you too, TT, please."

Toni let her pull the zipper down, her heart breaking as Cheryl tried desperately to get the coat off of her. "I'm not going, I won't go, I promise," she whispered, helping her distraught girlfriend ease the material off her arms. The jacket fell to the floor behind her as her arms wrapped around her again, keeping her close as she continued to cry into the curve of her neck. "I'm not going anywhere, Cher, I promise," her voice was quiet as Cheryl's hiccups and cries vibrated off the walls. 

The redhead just shook in Toni's arms, holding onto her as tightly as her trembling, alcohol-weakened arms would allow. Her whole body shook as she willed herself to calm down, but just the thought of losing Toni to such an avoidable mistake had her gripping onto her even tighter, balling up the fabric of her t-shirt in her fists.

_"Tell her now. Tell her now. Tell her now. You've put it off long enough, just tell her!"_

"Come on," Toni whispered and slipped her shoes off, leading her back to the living room to sit back down on the nest of pillows and blankets. The band Goo Goo Dolls were performing live on TV, filling the room with quiet music and the sound of the cheering crowd; The only sounds in the room beside the crackling fire and Cheryl's sniffling. Toni sat down and eased Cheryl to lay beside her with her head in her lap, running her fingers through her long red hair comfortingly. She felt awful, but it just showed how much Cheryl actually cared, not that she had any doubt about it. Though, she didn't feel like she deserved it at all.

The younger girl trembled, her tears falling onto Toni's pajama pants as she tried to focus on the TV, wanting the distraction. She was upset, scared, and angry. It felt like she was feeling every emotion under the sun, because with her head in Toni's lap, she also felt peaceful and happy. She closed her eyes slowly, as the confusion was making her head start to spin. She wanted to stay up to watch the ball drop and kiss Toni at midnight, but the warmth from the fire mixed with the way the bourbon made her feel and Toni's fingers against her scalp, Cheryl found herself falling fast asleep, unable to fight it any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the next one is smut and i'm hoping to post it on sunday!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo yeah. there's a lot going on here.

Cheryl slowly stirred from her slumber, shifting against the warm body behind her. Her glasses were laid out on the blanket beside her, seemingly plucked from her face and placed aside so they didn't break. She didn't remember taking them off last night. She remembered everything else, though. Drinking and having fun with Toni before she broke down and cried to her, begging her not to go out and drive. As embarrassed as she was about her little tantrum, she knew she made the right choice. Toni was safe here, peacefully sleeping behind her. 

She put her glasses on and sat up carefully, looking around. The hands on the grandfather clock against the wall told her it was nearly 3AM, dimly lit by the fading fire and the lights on the Christmas tree. If she remembered correctly, she fell asleep around 9:30 last night. She remembered how the bourbon made her feel like she was wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket. But as good as it made her feel, she felt bad for falling asleep before she could ring in the new year with her girlfriend. 

Feeling a bit of a chill, she got up slowly, tucking the blanket higher up on Toni's shoulders to keep her warm before going to add some wood to the fire, livening up the flame. She let the warmth take her over, rubbing her bare arms as she turned to lay back down with Toni on the floor. The colorfully decorated paper from the brunette's gift caught her eye from its place near Toni's covered feet, beside the cassette case. Curiously, she picked up the plastic box, smiling as she glanced over the track listing again.

_'10 Things'_ had her attention once again. Toni had been so vague in telling her to listen to it later. When would the appropriate time be? She tore her eyes from the tape and glanced over at the sleeping girl. She didn't want Toni to be mad for listening to it too early, but the suspense was killing her. Tip-toeing across the living room and into the foyer, she quietly unzipped her purple backpack, fishing her walkman out from the middle pocket and taking it back with her to the dimly lit living room. 

She sat down beside Toni, careful not to wake her, and put the tape into her walkman, closing it slowly to avoid making too much noise. Taking a deep breath, Cheryl put her headphones over her ears and tried to prepare herself for whatever she was going to hear. She wasn't sure what to expect. It couldn't be anything bad, right? Especially not after a whole tape's worth of romantic songs. 

After pressing play, the soft intro to "Wonderwall" played in her ears, bringing her an odd sense of comfort. She remembered it playing in the car during their first date. One of the greatest nights of her life. Pressing down on the fast-forward button, she could feel the device vibrate in her hands as it sped through the tape inside, coming to a stop when she pressed play again. It took a few tries until she finally got to the last song from the track listing, listening to it from middle to end so she didn't skip ahead too far. Her heart sped up in her chest as "Dreaming of You" came to an end, looking briefly back at Toni to make sure she was still asleep.

_"Hey, babe. I know this is super cheesy,"_ Toni's soothing voice relaxed her while somehow making her tense up at the same time, _"I didn't really have the money to get you anything really fancy, and I didn't wanna get you just anything. So hopefully you liked the tape."_ Cheryl smiled to herself and pulled her knees up to her chest as she listened on, hearing the sound of paper rustling as Toni gently cleared her throat. _"So, that list you made a few months ago, I still have it. It means a lot to me that you would take the time to write a whole list of things you like about me, even though I still feel like I don't deserve such nice things said about me. But...you deserve nice things said about you too. So I have a list of my ten favorite things about you."_

Warmth spread through Cheryl's body as Toni spoke in her ears through the scratchy recording, biting her lip hard as she started to speak again. _"One. You've always been so nice to everyone, including me. Even when I didn't deserve it. Two. You're so **fucking** cute, I can't believe it sometimes. With your glasses and your smile, just ugh."_ Cheryl stifled her giggling as a blush rose to her cheeks, as if Toni were saying this to her in person. _"Three. Speaking of that adorable smile, every time I see it, it puts a smile on my face too. You always make me so happy, Cher."_

_"Four. You're such a talented artist. The drawing on the back of your list about me, the one that you claim is just a sketch, is amazing. You have a serious gift and you should pursue it."_ The redhead bit her lip a little harder, feeling like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. _"Five. You're so selfless and caring. Like when you ditched last period to come take care of me when I was sick, and gave me your sweatshirt when I was cold. I'm wearing that sweatshirt right now, actually."_

Cheryl rested her head on her arms. She felt like her body was filling up from her toes to her head with warm water, making her feel unstable and dizzy. _"Six. You take the time to actually get up early on Monday mornings to meet me in the dark room. I was serious when I said that was our thing. That's our place. Even if we have to deal with Clemmons interrupting us every time."_

_"Seven is probably way creepy sounding, but I love kissing you. Like, holy shit, I dunno what it is, but when your lips are on mine, I just...I can't even explain it,"_ Cheryl pursed her lips together tightly as her chest tightened. _"Anyway. Number eight is how brave you are. You've got so much at stake and you're always willing to risk it just to be with me. I know my friends suck and your parents are shitty, no offense, but I love that you're willing to go against everyone for me. I mean hell, you walked from Pop's to Sunnyside just to bring me soup. Don't do that again, though."_

_"Nine...You're so forgiving, Cher. I've been nothing short of awful to you since the seventh grade, and yet somehow you found it in your heart to forgive me for it all. And I still can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for every terrible, rotten thing I've ever said or done to you. I don't deserve for you to forgive me for any of it, but I'm so glad that you did."_ Cheryl smiled contently as Toni took a deep breath, sighing deeply. 

_"And ten...I just...I love you, Cheryl,"_ her heart stopped as she picked up her head, _"I do, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I wanna be around you all the time, and I'm just bored and miserable when I'm not. You're so beautiful, and sweet, and incredible. I'm so in love with you, Cheryl Blossom. I don't know what I did right to get to call you mine, but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I get to be called yours."_

Cheryl felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest as her trembling fingers found the rewind button, hearing the brief squeaky sound in her ears before she pressed play again. _"I'm so in love with you, Cheryl Blossom,"_ she played it again and again.

_"Merry Christmas, baby. I love you so much."_ she let it play out to the rest of the tape this time, leaving her too stunned to move. The tape stopped in the cassette player as she felt Toni stir behind her. She'd probably woken her with her incessant clicking of the rewind and play buttons. Part of her was terrified. What if Toni hadn't wanted her to listen to it yet? And if she was okay with her listening to it now, what was she supposed to say? Toni had recorded her a long, heartfelt message, it felt like nothing she said would ever be good enough in comparison. 

The redhead sat uncomfortably still, feeling a kiss drop to her trembling shoulder. "Hey, when'd you wake up?" Toni whispered over the sound of the crackling fire. 

"Not too long ago," Cheryl mumbled, looking down at her walkman and removing the padded headphones from her ears. 

"Did you listen to it?" Toni rested her chin against her pale shoulder. 

She nodded her head , slowly tucking hair behind her ear with shaky fingers. She turned to face her, opening her mouth to apologize for potentially listening to it too early. But one look at Toni made all her nerves melt away. The warm, chocolatey eyes that looked back at her were filled with so much love and adoration, all for her. Toni always managed to make her head spin with just a look. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to find the words to say, but she gave up quickly, crashing her lips to Toni's instead. She ran the pads of her thumbs along the brunette's jaw, the rest of her fingers playing along her hairline under her ears and keeping her close.

"I love you, TT," she whimpered, practically crying against her girlfriends lips as she was pulled into her lap, "I love you so much. I love you." She couldn't say it enough as she sobbed with relief, feeling yet another heavy weight lift itself off her shoulders. Toni's arms wrapped tightly around her middle as Cheryl wrapped her legs around hers, wanting her closer. She couldn't get close enough. She could still taste a hint of bourbon on Toni's tongue as it dragged against her own, sending a shiver of want down her spine. 

Toni pulled back slowly as Cheryl chased her and tried to keep their heated kiss going with a needy whimper. "Do you really?" she whispered, panting with her forehead pressed gently to hers.

The redhead nodded eagerly, reminiscent of when Toni asked her to be her girlfriend a few months ago. "I do, Toni, I really do," she pulled back to look into her eyes, her own fogging with tears of joy before Toni kissed her again, lowering her down against the mass of pillows and blankets below them. The older girl hovered over her, her lips moving fervently against her own as Cheryl's wobbly fingers reached under her t-shirt, desperate to just feel her skin to confirm that she was real. She didn't feel numb like in the dream she had a few weeks ago. She felt whole and alive, to a point that just feeling Toni's warm skin under her fingers overloaded her senses. 

She felt around the soft skin of her abdomen, back, and sides, warming her fingers against her. Toni's muscles trembled under her touch, making Cheryl feel rather smug from her submissive position. The fact that she had the power to make Toni tremble made her feel so much less nervous, because she knew now that the brunette had her own apprehensions. She boldly reached for the hem of Toni's old Nirvana t-shirt, lifting it slowly as she wordlessly asked for her permission to remove it. Cheryl wanted to see her, she wanted to _feel_ her. Toni pulled back from the heated kiss between them, sitting up in a straddle across the redheads hips before crossing her arms over her body and lifting the black t-shirt above her head. 

Cheryl could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as her eyes traveled across the flawless form above her. She'd never (intentionally) laid eyes on breasts that weren't her own, aside from the two dimensional diagrams in the sex education book, and she couldn't look away. She knew she was staring, and she was so entranced that she couldn't even bring herself to care. But next thing she knew, she was being gently pulled up into a sitting position, her quivering hands in Toni's gentle ones as the brunette brought them to her chest, guiding her like she needed. 

"This okay?" Toni panted quietly, her chest rising and falling against Cheryl's hands with each breath she took. 

"Mmhm," she nodded, feeling like a deer learning to walk as her thumbs gently grazed against the erect buds that topped her girlfriend's full, ample breasts. She felt her shiver against her touch and she found herself getting bold again as the infamous knot in her gut returned. She toyed with Toni's nipples carefully, biting her lip as she arched into her touch. She seemed to be doing something right, despite not having a clue what she was doing. But she kept her fingers moving as Toni's lips landed on hers again.

Toni cupped her cheeks softly in contrast to their hard, rushed kisses, her hands trailing down to the red tank top that covered Cheryl's pale skin. "Can I take this off?" the brunette whispered against her lips, kissing her again before she could get an answer. But Cheryl's weak nod was all she needed before she started to lift the red cotton up her torso and over her head, careful for her glasses. She tossed the material aside as Cheryl crashed her lips right back to hers, the redhead mewling quietly at the feeling of Toni's hands on her. She wasn't as developed as Toni was, and she would have been more self conscious if the feeling of skin on skin weren't so _damn_ comforting. Toni's fingers roamed along her bare skin, keeping her chest pressed against hers. Cheryl thought that she would combust right there from the overwhelming feeling. 

"You're perfect, you know that?" Toni whispered into her skin as she kissed a line down her jaw and neck, bringing a hand between them to pluck gently at the sensitive skin of Cheryl's nipples.

"You are too," she gasped distractedly, involuntarily leaning into her touch and whimpering for more. 

Toni just smirked against her neck, easing her back to lay down again as her lips made a hot, aimless trail around her ivory skin. She left soft pecks along the line of her collarbone, kissing her clavicle before dragging her lips farther down. She could feel the thump of Cheryl's pounding heart under the touch of her lips as she left slow, teasing kisses along the curve of her breast, nipping playfully at the pale pink bud at its peak.

"Toni," Cheryl gasped again, arching into her as her fingers came up to tangle in her hair, holding her close and steady. "P-please," she nearly sobbed, unsure of what she was even asking for. Toni seemed to know her way around her body already, like she'd explored her a million times. She'd probably done this with a ton of other girls, but Cheryl brushed that thought aside as best she could, not wanting to think about Toni making anyone else feel as loved and worshipped as she felt now. 

The brunette smirked against her skin, sucking gently on one nipple while her fingers worked skillfully on the other. She held a power that made Cheryl shiver with excitement while she simultaneously trembled with fear. The redhead had never known such a mix of emotions until she'd met Toni. It had been five years of these jumbled up feelings, but she knew now that she would rather be confused with Toni than have clarity without her. 

After laving her tongue against the subtle indentations from the bites in her skin, Toni leaned back up to connect their lips again, her fingers playing at the waistband of Cheryl's plaid pajama pants. She pulled back, looking into her dark brown eyes for any sign of protest. 

Cheryl flicked her tongue out over her lips as she panted, struggling to control her breathing as she locked eyes with her girlfriend. Toni's fiery gaze intensified the tightening knot in her stomach and she knew she was ready for her to be the one to undo it. With a nod of encouragement, she watched as the firelight flickered in the older girl's gentle eyes and reflected off the golden _'C'_ against her chest. "Show me...please," she whispered, her chest rising and falling with each sharp breath she took. 

Toni nodded back, running her tongue against her lips before leaning down to kiss her again. Cheryl wrapped her arms around her neck, wanting to feel her lips on hers for the rest of her life. And for now, it served as a nice distraction from the fact that Toni was easing her comfortable pants down her legs to be discarded with her shirt. She barely had time to react before Toni had her own pajama pants off, revealing the lacy black panties she had underneath, strikingly different from her own plain white cotton briefs.

"Are you sure about this?" Toni pulled back again, her heavy breaths warm against her face. 

"I'm sure," the redhead nodded as she looked up at her with longing in her eyes, lifting a finger to graze gently over Toni's plump lower lip, "I love you, TT." She wondered if the thrill of saying those words to her would ever go away, not that she wanted it to. 

Toni just gave her a bit of a smirk and leaned down to kiss her again. "I love you too, Cher," she whispered, "Do you trust me?"

Cheryl nodded against her lips with a needy whimper. She trusted her with her life. Months ago, she would hesitate in answering, focusing too much on the past. The Toni she knew years ago wasn't the same Toni she knew now. Despite what happened between them in previous years, the brunette had proven to Cheryl that she was serious and trustworthy. 

Toni weaved their fingers together, warmth passing between them as she kept her chest flush against Cheryl's. The redhead shivered at the contact that was so new to her, humming into the kiss that was making her head spin with arousal. With her free hand, Toni dragged her fingertips lightly down Cheryl's torso, her neatly trimmed fingernails leaving subtle red lines on her pale skin as she inched closer to the waistband of the redhead's last remaining article of clothing. She distracted her with heated kisses as she traced side to side over the elastic, sliding her fingers against the fabric. Her fingers reached the apex of Cheryl's thighs, cupping her over the fabric with the heel of her palm pressing firmly against her clit. 

Cheryl gasped, holding tighter to Toni's hand while her other held her cheek gently, keeping her close and her lips on hers. She recognized the feeling, as she'd touched herself a few times. But it was entirely different when it was someone else touching you. She controlled her own movements, but when it was someone else, every touch came as a pleasant surprise. "Toni..." she panted when the older girl pulled back from her lips, kissing around the hot skin of her neck. She could feel her lips curl up into a smirk against her skin and it only aroused her more.

Toni sucked lightly on her pulse point as she slowly dipped her fingers under the damp cotton. Cheryl bucked and shuddered when her fingers met with her clit, whining out into the quiet room. She turned her head and caught Toni's lips again, already missing the feeling of her lips on hers. She felt like her whole body was on fire, a thin layer of sweat already forming on her bare skin as Toni's middle finger trailed up and down her slit. Her heart picked up speed, pounding in her ears and against her chest when the brunette teased the tip of her middle finger against her entrance. Cheryl was so nervous, but it felt too good to stop. She wanted Toni. She trusted her. 

_"Oh-"_ she gasped against her lips at the feeling of Toni's slim finger slowly gliding into her with ease. She'd never done that to herself before, so the feeling was entirely new. 

"You okay?" she pulled back, biting her swollen lip as she looked at Cheryl's, her pink lips parted as her jaw slacked. 

The redhead opened her hazy brown eyes, looking up at her through the lenses of her glasses. A chill ran down her spine at the look of concern on her girlfriend's face. "Yeah," she exhaled, swallowing hard. Toni held her gaze as she eased her finger deeper into her heat, starting to slide it in and out as she stared into her eyes intensely. Cheryl couldn't look away. She was locked in, unable to do anything but bite her lip hard as she was overwhelmed with pleasure. Toni's lips were on hers again as the brunette surprised her, adding a second finger to her diligent work, curling them into her so expertly as Cheryl held her face in her hands. She'd never felt anything like this.

Her hips arched up to meet her touch, starting to move in rhythm with Toni's gentle strokes. As much as she wanted that release that was so new to her, she never wanted this feeling to end. She whimpered when Toni removed her fingers, opening her eyes just in time to see her sucking those same fingers between her lips with that familiar smirk that she knew so well. Cheryl watched curiously, her mind too clouded with arousal to even question what she was doing. 

"Fuck, Cher," the former Vixen panted, ducking down to kiss her again harshly. Cheryl could taste the foreign flavor of herself on Toni's tongue. It was strange, but Toni seemed to enjoy it. Their tongues glided together as Cheryl held her close. But Toni pulled back with a gentle peck to her lips, smirking as she started to kiss a slow, hot trail straight down her body. She kissed from her lips to her neck, down through the valley between her breasts and slid her tongue into the dip of her belly button. 

Cheryl's heart was beating rapidly as she struggled to keep her breathing even. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she could only imagine what Toni was planning. She was always full of surprises. Her eyes closed, embarrassed as she felt Toni's fingers hook into the sides of her underwear, slowly tugging them down. Before she knew it, she was completely bare in front of her, her knees locking together self-consciously as her face turned a dark shade of pink. She could feel Toni's fingers trailing up the side of her calf, sending a shiver down her spine as her body broke out in goose bumps. With her eyes closed, every touch seemed ten times more electric.

"Hey," she suddenly felt Toni's warm lips on her chin, kissing their way up to her own slack and swollen lips. Cheryl blinked her eyes open slowly, meeting Toni's soft gaze after she pulled back from the kiss. "You trust me, right?" she whispered before Cheryl nodded and reached up to kiss her again, holding her face in her trembling hands. She hoped that Toni wasn't asking multiple times because she doubted her answer. "I wanna hear you say it, baby."

"I-I trust you," she mumbled against her slow-moving lips, nodding just as slow.

Toni nodded and pulled back from the kiss, coaxing Cheryl's pale legs apart so she could place herself between them as she left a crooked line of fiery kisses down her body once again. The farther she descended, the more Cheryl found herself struggling to keep her breathing even. She could feel the heated skin of Toni's torso against her bare, aching center with every move she made. And it seemed like an eternity before she felt hot breath blow over her slit with every exhale the older girl took. Staring up at the ceiling, she lay stiff as a board, her body practically vibrating as she felt her legs being bent up and her feet firmly planted on the floor. If Toni was saying anything to her, she couldn't hear it. Her ears felt like they were filled with water, like she was at the bottom of the pool again, letting herself float to the surface for that weightless feeling her nana had described to her when she was a child. 

"Cher," she felt a hand grab onto hers. 

"Yeah?" she breathed, boldly sitting up on her elbow to look down at her girlfriend.

"Tell me if you want me to slow down or stop, okay?" Toni's dark eyes stared up at her as she squeezed her hand reassuringly, tugging at Cheryl's heartstrings. 

"Okay," she nodded, keeping herself elevated enough to watch what Toni was doing, curious. She watched her kiss the soft skin of her inner thighs and wrap an arm gently around one leg before ducking her head further down. Her messy locks of brown hair fell in her face, blocking Cheryl's view. But when the redhead felt Toni's tongue dart out to gently meet her folds, she cried out quietly as she lost her balance on her elbow, sending her to lay back down against the blankets and pillows below her. The feeling was new and completely different, but so, _so_ good. Toni's tongue flattened against her, taking a slow swipe up the line of her center, flicking the tip of her tongue against the underside of her clit. "TT..." she panted heavily, her chest rising and falling with each unstable breath she took. Her long red hair was sticking to her bare back and the back of her neck, but she couldn't be bothered to care. She was far too distracted by the feeling of Toni's lips and tongue on her most sensitive spots. Her hips bucked and writhed as she panted, needy whimpers escaping her lips as Toni squeezed her hand again, holding her hips down. 

Toni knew what she was doing. Even if she didn't, Cheryl would have no idea. All she knew was that she felt better now than she'd ever felt in her lifetime. "Ton-" she went to mewl out her name again, but the brunette hummed deeply against her with her lips wrapped around her throbbing clit, making her cry out instead. Cheryl felt like she would never be able to speak a coherent word ever again, her mind was so scrambled. Her nerves were on fire, and she could feel herself inching closer to the edge. The feeling approached faster and faster as Toni worked her over, her tongue flicking against her clit rapidly. Her fingers found their way back to her slick entrance, teasing around her sensitive skin before sliding in again, and Cheryl could feel Toni smirk against her.

"Please," she whined desperately, reaching down to grip firmly onto Toni's hair, practically tugging it from the roots, "I-I can't- _ah!"_ she cried out again as a shock of pleasure shot through her, making her feel like she was mere steps away from falling over the edge of the metaphorical cliff. Toni pulled back slowly, pressing a chaste kiss just over the sensitive bundle of nerves, making Cheryl's hips jerk at the simple touch. Flicking her tongue over her lips, Toni kept her fingers moving, curling inside her as she moved back up, hovering over her lips with a knowing smirk. "I-I don't think..." Cheryl panted, shaking her head, unable to finish her sentence. She'd never felt like this before. Even doing it herself, the feeling was never this strong. The knot in her stomach was bigger and tighter than ever. 

"I've got you, baby," Toni whispered, kissing her lips so gently. Cheryl whimpered into the kiss, tasting herself on Toni's tongue again as she cupped her cheeks and ran her thumbs across the soft, warm skin. "Let it go for me, Cher," the brunette curled her fingers up faster, feeling the wetness increase under her touch as Cheryl practically sobbed against her lips. 

Her hips writhed and bucked as she got closer and closer, finding comfort in Toni's whispered words. Cheryl pulled away to breathe, ducking her face into the crook of Toni's neck, her whimpers getting even louder as she felt herself letting go, falling over the edge. "Oh my god," she mumbled with a shaking voice. Her body shook with pleasure that continued to course through her veins, and she wasn't sure if that was the cause of her clouded vision or if her glasses had fogged up again. 

When her high faded, she kept her face in Toni's neck, letting the older girl hold her close. Toni rubbed her back and sides with her free hand, pulling her fingers slowly from inside her and soothing her trembling girlfriend when she whimpered at the loss. 

"You okay?" the brunette whispered, kissing her temple as she ran her fingers against her scalp through her mane of red hair. Cheryl held tightly to her and nodded into her neck, still trying to catch her breath as Toni brought one of the blankets up to cover them. She knew that Cheryl would likely be too tired or nervous to do anything else, but she was patient. 

"I-l love you, TT," Cheryl mumbled, unsure of what else to say. Her voice still trembled as her muscles relaxed, pulling back just enough to kiss her slowly, gratefully. 

"I love you too, baby. Go to sleep," she smiled a bit against her lips, adjusting their position so the redhead could cuddle up to her for the remainder of the early morning. 

The younger girl yawned against her skin, nuzzling into her. "Will you still be here in the morning?" Her eyelids were drooping quickly as she brought a tired hand up to twirl the _'C'_ against Toni's chest between her fingers. 

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Toni kissed her forehead and tangled their legs together as she held her close, watching as Cheryl fell asleep in her arms, spent and satisfied with the little charm in her limp grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by popular demand, this update is a day early, but the next one still won't be posted until Saturday.

Cheryl woke up to the feeling of a pair of warm lips on her neck and the backs of her shoulders, causing a sleepy smile to spread on her face. She was amazed at how well she slept, considering they'd fallen asleep on the floor. If it weren't for the overwhelmingly good feeling she had in her body and the fact that she was naked under the blankets, she would be convinced that what happened between them much earlier this morning was just an amazing dream. But it was all real. From them finally confessing their love for one another to Toni making Cheryl feel better than she ever thought possible, it was all real. And Cheryl was on cloud nine. 

The fire had died out and the grandfather clock was chiming, signaling the approach of 11AM as Cheryl rolled over in Toni's arms, turning to face her with a blissful smile on her face. "Morning," she smiled shyly, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. She focused on Toni's smirking lips and leaned in to kiss them slowly, shuddering at the memory of how good they made her feel last night. 

"Morning, cutie," the older girl mumbled, kissing her again, "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," she sighed contently, weaving her fingers together with Toni's, biting her lip as she looked at the contrast of tan skin against pale. 

"Me too," Toni brought their joined hands to her lips, kissing Cheryl's pale knuckles and making her giggle as the redhead watched with her lip still caught between her teeth, "You were amazing last night."

"I didn't do anything," she blushed with a shy smile as the pink in her cheeks got stronger. Even if she had the strength in her to do anything to Toni last night, she wouldn't have known what she was doing. She felt so insecure about her lack of experience. She was Toni's first girlfriend, sure, but she obviously wasn't the first girl she'd ever slept with. 

"Doesn't matter, you were still amazing," the brunette shook her head and kissed her forehead, laying her head back down a bit closer to hers.

"Have you, um...done that with...a lot of girls?" Cheryl asked timidly, keeping the blanket tucked tightly against her chest, "You just seemed very...experienced."

Toni shook her head with pursed lips and a shrug, "A few, not a lot. Just Veronica that one time and a few one night stands with girls on the south side who come into the Wyrm."

"The what?"

"The Whyte Wyrm. It's a bar near Sunnyside," Toni explained, "I work there some nights just to make a little extra cash."

"Oh," Cheryl bit her lip, curious about what else she didn't know about Toni. Not to mention how inferior she felt compared to the numerous other girls Toni had been with.

"I was never in love with any of them, though," she smirked and squeezed her hand reassuringly, knowing what she was thinking. She didn't want Cheryl thinking she was any less than those few one night stands just because she wasn't as experienced or didn't return any favors. 

Cheryl couldn't help but smile, the blush never fading from her face as she kissed her girlfriend timidly. "Will you teach me?" she asked quietly, barely audible even in the silent room. She wanted to make Toni feel as good as she made her feel last night.

The brunette kissed her slowly in response, untangling their fingers so she could cup Cheryl's cheek. She grazed her thumb across her flushed skin before trailing her hand down her collarbone, untucking the blanket from under her arm and letting the thick material lay loosely against her body. She took Cheryl's hand in hers again, guiding it to her own chest as she did last night, letting her explore at her own pace. She wanted release of her own, sure, but she wasn't going to push Cheryl into it.

Sliding her tongue against Toni's, Cheryl breathed deeply into the kiss, grazing her nipple with her thumb like she had the night before. She wanted to learn and to give Toni the same pleasure that she had given her, but she couldn't help but be nervous about it. She thought that her girlfriend deserved the world, and she didn't want to let her down. Pushing herself closer, she kissed her harder, toying with the sensitive bud between her fingers. She was left unsupervised as Toni's hand came back up to her cheek, letting her do what she wanted. Her thoughts drifted back to last night, remembering everything Toni did that made her feel good.

The redhead broke away from the kiss, needing to breathe, but she took her kisses along Toni's jaw and down her neck, nipping and sucking lightly on the soft skin. Toni's hands roamed against her side, sending lusty shivers down her spine. With her newfound bravery that came with her clouded mind, she trailed her fingers down the older girl's torso, raking down her stomach to the waistband of the lacy black panties she was still wearing. 

"Cher," Toni moaned, her arms breaking out in goose bumps at her feathery light touch. The redhead just smirked against her skin, her lips still attached to the same spot as she boldly moved her hand between her tanned thighs. She could feel the wet warmth of Toni's arousal under the thin fabric, gaining a bit more confidence from the fact that she was the cause of it. 

"I love you, TT," she whispered, moving her fingers more roughly against her from over her panties.

Toni was rocking into her touch, panting and humming with want as Cheryl teased her through the rough material. "I-I love you too," she panted, her back arching as her nerves lit up. She reached down for Cheryl's hand again. The younger girl didn't seem to need too much guidance. One way she learned how to please women herself was by just doing what she knew felt good on her own body. She knew that Cheryl had explored herself a few times, so she knew she was probably just doing to her what she did to herself. And the idea of Cheryl touching herself like she was touching her now excited her even more. 

"Is this o-okay?" Cheryl whispered hesitantly, nervous that she wasn't doing a good enough job. But she kept her fingers moving in firm circles, rubbing against the nub of Toni's clit through the damp cotton and lace.

"Yeah," the brunette nodded, her breathing uneven as she moved her lips to Cheryl's again.

Nodding back with a smile against her lips, Cheryl rubbed a little harder. The feeling of the fabric slowly soaking under her touch made her blush, but she knew from personal experience that it just meant that she was making Toni feel good. And it made her feel more secure having her hand on top of her own. But she slowly moved her hand from under Toni's gentle grip, starting to kiss across to her cheek as her fingers dipped under the thin black lace. She wasn't even the one being touched, but the feeling of her girlfriend's bare, wet folds had Cheryl whimpering as Toni breathed heavily into her ear. 

"God, that feels good, babe," the brunette panted, nipping at Cheryl's earlobe.

"Really?"

"Mmhm," she nodded, gasping as her fingers slipped lower and traced the line of her slit delicately. Her hips jerked up to meet her touch, humming low in her throat as shivers ran down her spine. 

Cheryl kissed along Toni's sharp jaw and down to her neck, boldly darting her tongue out to taste the sweet and salty skin under her lips. Toni's body broke out in a layer of goose bumps when she hummed against her tanned skin, her voice vibrating against one of the most sensitive spots on her neck. The redhead's heart nearly thumped out of her chest as she slowly slid a finger into the wet heat of Toni's center. She'd never done such a thing to herself before, but she knew it had her seeing stars when Toni did it to her. And judging by the brunette's reaction, arching her back and jerking into her touch, Cheryl knew she was doing _something_ right.

"A-am I doing this right?" she stammered, her finger curling in and out slowly as she kept her face hidden in Toni's warm neck. But her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink when the older girl pulled back enough to kiss her.

"Yeah," Toni nodded against her lips, her jaw slacking with a bit of a cry. But she kissed her harder, not wanting her to think she had hurt her. "You can go faster...if you want," she breathed heavily, bringing her hand up to cup her cheek. 

Cheryl nodded, turning her head to kiss the palm of her hand and did what she said. She picked up the pace of her fingers, biting her lip as she added a second finger like Toni had done to her. And if Toni's reaction was any indication, she had made the right choice. The palm of her hand was slick with the brunette's arousal as she worked her fingers into her core, the heel of her palm pressing firmly against her clit. 

"Shit," Toni's jaw slacked as her hips bucked, matching the rhythm Cheryl was trying to keep. She may not have been experienced, but Cheryl was a girl of many talents, and Toni knew that this would come naturally to her. 

The redhead flicked her tongue against her lips, casting her eyes down. Her movements were hidden by the heavy blanket that covered anything below their midsections. She wondered if she should copy _everything_ Toni did last night. But she was barely confident in what she was already doing. She just hoped Toni didn't mind. 

_"Cher,"_ she moaned, kissing her red, swollen lips again and swirling her tongue around hers.

Cheryl kissed her hard, working her fingers faster and harder. Every time she worried that she was being too rough, Toni cried out in pleasure, urging her to keep going. She could feel herself becoming more and more turned on as she listened to her girlfriend's desperate panting and little moans of ecstasy.

Toni's movements became erratic as Cheryl could feel her walls clenching around her diligently moving fingers, but she kept them going as her girlfriend became a writhing, moaning mess beside her. Her body stiffened with a gasp and a loud cry before she went limp against the blankets, trembling involuntarily as she searched for Cheryl's lips again. 

"Are you okay, TT?" the redhead whispered, concerned after she pulled back. But the blissful smile on Toni's face told her that the older girl was just fine. 

"Yeah," her chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath, "Holy shit, babe, are you sure you've never done that with anyone else?" Her lips curled up into a smile, leaning in to kiss her again.

"Positive," Cheryl giggled into the kiss, slowly pulling her fingers from the wet warmth between her girlfriend's thighs. Her already present blush intensified when she thought about bringing those fingers to her lips. She wanted to know what she tasted like, but the idea of embarrassing herself made her wipe her hand on the blanket below them instead. "I love you, TT," she mumbled, humming against her neck.

Toni just smiled and kissed her temple, rubbing her back as she held her close. "Love you too, babe. You're fucking incredible."

"No I'm not," she hid her face shyly. She knew Toni was just saying that to make her feel better.

"Yeah you are, don't make me prove it to you," she smirked, teasingly raking her fingers down her bare back.

"How would you do that?" Cheryl's voice was meek as she picked up her head, getting the bravery to finally look her girlfriend in the eye. They were still hazy and dark in a way that made the redhead shiver with want. And the way Toni's lips crashed to hers not too long after gave her the answer she was looking for. Slim, tan fingers roamed about on her bare skin, leaving a trail of fire under the surface as Cheryl moaned into the heated kisses they shared. The phone started to ring, but she ignored it, not caring about anything or anyone but her girlfriend right now. And Toni seemed to have no problem with her ignoring it either. Her tongue fought against hers as she hummed into the kiss, not letting the incessant ringing distract her.

_"You've reached the Blossom household. Leave a message and may God be with you,"_ Clifford's voice sounded from the voicemail box in the kitchen.

_"Cheryl, it's your mother. I'm just calling to let you know we caught an earlier flight and we're leaving the airport now. We should be home in about an hour."_ Penelope's voice cut off just before the following beep and Cheryl pulled away from Toni, panicked as she tried to catch her breath. 

"Y-you have to leave, I don't want them to catch you here," she scrambled and grabbed her glasses, pulling her red tank top and pajama pants back on, tossing the brunette's t-shirt to her as she tried to get things cleaned up. She could hear Toni chuckling a little behind her and she turned to face her, stunned and confused at how she could possibly laugh at a time like this. "What's so funny?"

"You," she shook her head, still laughing as she pulled the t-shirt over her head, "She said they'd be back in an hour, not five minutes."

Cheryl's shoulder slumped as she realized she'd overreacted a little, but it still wouldn't give her the time she needed to cleaneverything up and do what she wanted with Toni. "I'm sorry, I just don't want us to get caught," she sighed, kneeling on the floor beside her, letting the brunette wrap her in a comforting hug.

"Hey, it's okay, I get it," Toni smiled, kissing her gently, "What can I do to help?"

"Can you take the blankets and pillows up to my room?" she bit her lip with a look of desperation in her eyes. She felt bad asking favors of Toni right now. But the brunette nodded in response with one more kiss before getting up, not bothering to put her pajama pants on over her panties. All it did was distract Cheryl every time she bent over, making her forget everything she had to do before her parents got home. 

"Distracted by something?" Toni smirked at her, sending her a knowing wink and chuckling when the redhead blushed and averted her gaze, realizing she'd been caught staring. Why did her parents have to catch an earlier flight?

"Sorry," she mumbled, biting her lip as she picked up the glasses and bottle of bourbon. Toni had caught her staring plenty of times, even before they were together, but it didn't make it any less embarrassing. But the brunette didn't seem to mind, since she smiled and kissed her in passing on her way to the staircase.

When she left the room, Cheryl took a deep breath, still in awe over what happened between them last night. They took _two_ major steps last night. At least they were major to her. Would this change anything between them? Or would things remain the same? Her mind ran wildly as she washed the glasses, making sure they were spotless. Her father was very particular about his liquor glasses. From behind her, she felt a slim set of arms wrap themselves around her tightly as a kiss was pressed to her neck. She leaned into the touch instinctively and hummed contently, a soft smile spreading on her face. 

"I'm sorry my parents have terrible timing. I wish you didn't have to leave," she mumbled sadly, though having Toni so close kept the smile on her face. 

"Me too," the brunette mumbled against her neck.

"Can I come to your house?"

"My uncle's home," Toni sighed, running her hands up and down Cheryl's sides through the red cotton tank top, "But he leaves again the day after school starts back up." Her pale skin slowly became covered in goose bumps at her girlfriend's gentle touch. "So after that you're gonna get sick of me wanting you around all the time."

"I could never get sick of you, TT," Cheryl put the dried glasses on the counter, turning in her arms to kiss her slowly. Toni's lips felt so soft and gentle against hers, she found herself getting quickly lost in the kiss, her hands trailing down her back and over the lacy black material that covered her ass. 

"Cher," she pulled away slowly, smirking a bit, "We gotta finish cleaning up. I don't think your parents are gonna like seeing you groping my ass in their kitchen."

The redhead blushed fiercely with a pout, sighing into the kiss Toni dropped to her lips before walking back to the living room with her, getting the furniture placed exactly where it should be. Toni pulled her pajama pants back on while Cheryl carefully placed her father's bourbon and glasses back in the liquor cabinet, closing it gently before going back to the living room. It made her sad to see Toni packing up her duffel bag. They had such an amazing night, she didn't want her to go so soon. 

"You don't have to walk me to my car, babe," the brunette chuckled as she put her jacket on. Cheryl had her winter boots on and the duffel bag on her shoulder.

"I want to," she smiled, biting her lip as Toni put her shoes on, leading her out the front door when she was ready to leave. She shivered a bit under her own unzipped jacket, putting the bag in the back seat while Toni started up the engine, letting the car warm up. 

"So," she started, lingering at the open driver's side door. She pulled the redhead to stand a bit closer to her, toying with the _'T'_ pendant from her necklace. "I'll see you at school?"

"Mmhm," Cheryl swallowed thickly, her eyes transfixed on Toni's lips, their breath visible in the cold air. 

"Love you," Toni smirked, holding onto Cheryl's jacket.

"Love you too," she blushed, tucking her long hair behind her ear bashfully before she happily welcomed the slow, delicate kiss Toni gave her. Somehow with Toni's lips on hers, she forgot all about the cold outside.

The brunette pulled back slowly, pressing her forehead affectionately to Cheryl's with a warm smile and one last kiss. "Bye."

"Wait..." she stopped her from getting into the car, biting her lip nervously, "Do you think, maybe you'd wanna go to the movies or something tomorrow afternoon? Just...so we can spend some more time together before school starts back up? We can go to the multiplex Centerville..."

"Yeah, totally. What time?"

"I get out of church at noon. So maybe we can meet at Pop's with Betty and Archie for lunch and then go after that?"

"Are you trying to talk me into a double date with Detective Barbie and Science Fair Ken?" the brunette crossed her arms over her chest with a devilish smirk.

"Just for lunch," Cheryl giggled and pressed her lips into a straight line as her cheeks flushed, "I just want it to be you and me at the movies."

"I guess it can be arranged."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We're all friends, right?" Toni shrugged with a smile before pressing a dizzying kiss to her lips, "See you tomorrow, babe."

Cheryl watched, rather dazed, as Toni got into her car and drove off down the long driveway, leaving her standing alone in the snow, anxious for the next day to come.

**xxx**

Lying to her parents was getting easier now that she had Betty and Archie to help cover her. Betty was still in shock that the man she'd looked up to all these years would ever lay a hand on anybody, especially his own daughter. Pastor Blossom always seemed like such a peaceful man. Passionate, but peaceful. Archie wasn't aware of Cheryl's father's abuse towards her. Betty hadn't told him, figuring it wasn't her business to tell. But the blonde and her bespectacled boyfriend were surprisingly supportive of Cheryl's unexpected relationship with Toni. They'd never seen her happier. And Toni Topaz was the last person they would have expected to be the cause of it.

"Thank you guys for doing this," Cheryl mumbled quietly, sipping at her strawberry milkshake. She was seated across from her best friends in a booth towards the back of Pop's, keeping her eyes peeled for her girlfriend. She hated that she and Toni couldn't just go to Pop's together without worrying about what people would think. But at least with Betty and Archie, they could say it was just a meeting for the Blue and Gold. Besides, Toni had been sitting with them at lunch lately, so the school was getting used to seeing the four of them together. No one needed to know that Cheryl was claiming this as a double date.

"You'd do the same for us if the roles were reversed," Archie smiled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

Cheryl just nodded with a shy smile, her cheeks flushing as she fiddled with her straw. Her head perked up at the sound of the bell over the front door, frowning when she saw an elderly couple walk in instead of Toni. She wasn't very late, but Cheryl was worried anyways. What if something had happened to her? Sighing a bit as she looked at the melting chocolate shake next to hers, Cheryl wiped her clammy palms on her jeans, grateful that she had changed clothes after church. 

"She'll be here, she's probably just running late," Betty gave her a reassuring smile. 

The redhead nodded, biting her lip. Toni had told her how dangerous the south side could be, even during the day. She couldn't share her apprehensions with her friends, though. 

They didn't know about Toni living on the other side of the train tracks, and she promised she wouldn't tell anyone about it.   
She was starting to over think when the jingling bells rang out through the diner again, putting all of Cheryl's tension at ease when Toni walked in, shedding her jacket and plopping down beside her in the booth. 

"Hey, sorry I'm late," she muttered, rubbing her cold hands together, "I had to finish cleaning before I could leave."

"It's okay," Cheryl bit back a smile, relieved to see her. She had to hold herself back from greeting her with a kiss or sitting too close. But when Toni was around, it was sometimes hard for her to remember that it wasn't just the two of them in their own little world. 

"What'd I miss?" the brunette reached for the shared tray of appetizers in the middle of the table, her free hand grabbing onto Cheryl's under the table. 

"Not much of anything, really. Just Cheryl being worried that you wouldn't show up," Betty teased, her nose scrunching up playfully as Cheryl blushed and ducked her head shyly.

"I told you I'd be here," Toni whispered to her with a light chuckle and squeezed her hand under the table. 

"I know, I was just worried," she looked down at the tangled web of fingers in her lap as she held Toni's cold hand with both of hers, warming it up. She wanted to cuddle up to her side and feel the brunette's arms around her. Toni was a drug and Cheryl was addicted. She held her hand tightly in hers, savoring the only contact she could get from her until they were alone. 

Their little lunch date was no different than when they would sit together at lunch, aside from Cheryl latching onto Toni's hand like a lifeline under the table. They talked about school, the Blue and Gold, and how their holidays went. Nothing too exciting. But Cheryl could feel herself slowly drifting out of the conversation as Toni's hand rested on her lap; her fingers tucked in the crease between her denim-clad legs. Maybe they could just go back to her trailer instead of going to the movies...

"How is everything?" the waiter came around, wiping his hands on his apron and adjusting his bowtie. Cheryl nearly snapped up in her seat, brushing Toni's hand from her lap and bringing her own up to rest on the table, trying to look nonchalant like she wasn't just getting aroused at the simplest touch from her girlfriend. 

"Fine, thank you," Betty smiled up at him.

"Is the check gonna be together? Separate?" 

"Umm...ours will be together," the blonde gestured between herself and Archie, looking between the girls across from her awkwardly. 

"It's all together," Archie spoke up before Toni or Cheryl could, making the girls all look at him as the waiter placed their bill down on the table. 

"Hey, aren't you Clifford Blossom's daughter?" the man in his mid-twenties pointed his pencil at Cheryl with a smile.

Cheryl picked her head up to look at him, subtly moving farther away from Toni as she started to panic internally. "Y-yeah, I am."

"Love that guy. I went to his church a few years ago. He encouraged me to get my GED," he grinned, "Will you tell him Finn said hi?"

"Sure," the redhead placed her elbow on the table to support her chin, releasing the breath she'd been holding after he walked away. The table was silent and awkward and she wished the earth would just swallow her whole. She hated when people complimented her father. Especially to her, because she was never sure what to say to them.

Archie looked at the three girls, confused. Even Betty and Toni looked uncomfortable. "Everything okay?" he asked, fishing through his wallet for some cash to pay the bill, "Am I missing something?"

"It's nothing, Arch," Betty smiled a bit solemnly over at him. 

"Did Pastor Blossom do something wrong? You had the same look on your face in church this morning."

"Archie, it's-"

"Betty it's okay," Cheryl interrupted, straightening up a bit in her seat as she looked across the booth at the other redhead. "Archie my dad's not...he's not the guy you think he is. He's not this...saint of a pastor everyone knows him as."

"What do you mean?"

"He's been...hurting me. For a while now. He's not a good man," Cheryl muttered quietly, starting to nervously wring her hands together under the table before Toni took one of her hands again, squeezing reassuringly. 

"Cheryl, I didn-"

"Just please don't tell anyone," she met his eyes, her brown ones filled with desperation. 

"It's one of the reasons she and Toni have to keep their relationship a secret," Betty added, whispering to him with a frown.

"I won't tell," he pushed his glasses up, shaking his head, "You can count on me, Cheryl."

She nodded with a small, but grateful smile, scanning the diner quickly before leaning into Toni, letting the brunette wrap an arm around her shoulders briefly.

"Thanks, Andrews," the brunette gave him half of a smile, rubbing Cheryl's arm gently before having to pull away again, "And thanks for lunch."

**xxx**

"Are you sure you don't mind stopping?" Cheryl looked across to the passenger seat at Toni as she drove down the nearly deserted road. Before they left the diner, Cheryl had noticed that Pop's soup of the day was Tomato Basil, her nana's favorite. Nana Rose's house was on the way to the movie theater in Centerville, so Cheryl thought it would be nice to stop and bring her some and say hello even though she just saw her at Christmas.

"I swear, I don't mind," Toni chuckled. This was the third time Cheryl had asked, but she thought it was cute that she kept checking. "Seriously, I think it's sweet that you thought of her. I'd probably wanna do the same thing."

Cheryl bit her lip as she gripped onto the steering wheel. She was tempted to ask where Toni's grandma was, always curious about her family. But she pushed the urge down, not wanting to bring up a potentially heavy subject before their date. With a sigh, she turned into the start of the driveway, approaching the open gates of Thornhill's large property. She drove slowly as Toni glanced around in awe as they pulled up to the old mansion. It had the same aura to it that Cheryl's house did, it was just five times bigger in size. 

"Whoa," the brunette's perfectly shaped eyebrows raised to her hairline. 

"My grandfather ran a pretty successful business," Cheryl smiled a bit, parking in the curved driveway in front of the door before Toni handed her the brown paper bag. "Do you wanna come inside?" the redhead bit her lip, "I might be a few minutes. Nana can get a bit chatty."

"Oh...I dunno, Cher. I mean, after the two major steps we just took yesterday, you already want me to meet your family?" Toni sighed, making Cheryl's heart drop. 

Her cheeks flamed up as her jaw slacked, searching for the words to say back to her. She was so stupid, she hadn't even thought about how fast things were moving for them all of a sudden. In the past 48 hours they'd said that they loved each other and had sex, what was she even thinking taking Toni to meet her nana? "I-I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Oh my god, I'm kidding!" Toni interrupted her with a laugh, unbuckling her seatbelt to lean across the center console, "Baby, I'm totally kidding." She took Cheryl's reddened cheeks in her hands, kissing her gently. 

"Don't scare me like that," the redhead pouted against her lips as Toni gave her a few apologetic pecks. 

"I'm sorry," she chuckled, spreading kisses across her cheeks, up to her nose, and back down to her lips, "On a serious note, though, do you think it's a good idea? I mean, your parents hate me, wouldn't your nana hate me too?"

"I don't think so, she's never mentioned your family," Cheryl shook her head, biting her lip, "She doesn't have the best memory, so by tomorrow I don't think she'll even remember your name, let alone meeting you."

That put Toni's mind at ease a little as she nodded, kissing her once more before they both got out of the car. She was still nervous as ever, wondering how this would go. She could charm just about anyone into liking her, but Cheryl's family was different. Last thing she wanted was to make any situations worse than they already were. She had her hands stuffed in the pockets of her puffy coat as Cheryl rang the doorbell. It didn't take long for a woman in uniform to answer the door.

"Hi, Vera. I brought Nana some of her favorite soup," Cheryl smiled, holding up the bag as the woman ushered them in. "This is my friend Toni," she gestured to her girlfriend who gave the woman a close-lipped smile and a handshake.

"Nice to meet you. She's in the den watching her stories," the woman smiled, "Can I take your coats?"

"No, thank you, we're not staying long. I just wanted to drop the soup off for her," Cheryl shook her head, thanking the woman as she went off to do her work. The redhead beckoned for Toni to follow her through the large house to the spacious den. Toni caught sight of a small woman with a single red stripe in her white hair, preparing herself for what could be a major downfall. 

"Hi, Nana Rose," she stood a few yards away as Cheryl greeted her grandmother with a hug and a kiss to her cheek. The woman looked so happy to see her. It was refreshing to see Cheryl so happy to see someone. Especially someone from her own family. She'd told her about her nana and how she was her only living family member that loved and supported her unconditionally. 

"Who is that, Cheryl?" the woman pointed a bony finger towards Toni.

"This is my friend Toni," Cheryl bit her lip. She wished she could tell her the truth about who Toni was, but now wasn't the right time.

"You don't look like a Tony," the elderly woman reached a hand out towards the brunette.

She chuckled nervously and stepped closer, letting Nana Rose take her hand in hers. She could feel the bones of her fingers through her soft, paper-thin skin. "My first name is Antoinette, but everyone calls me Toni for short."

"It's lovely to meet you, Antoinette. Nice to see Cheryl making some new friends," she pat her hand gently, smiling up at her.

"She's the greatest," Toni nodded with a smile, looking over at Cheryl to see the blush on her cheeks. 

"Well, thank you for the soup, Cheryl dear and have fun at the movies. I have to get back to my stories," Nana Rose pointed to the TV where a recording of Days of Our Lives was paused in the VHS player. 

Toni watched as Cheryl hugged the woman goodbye after setting up the soup on a TV tray for her, her heart clenching a bit at how much Cheryl seemed to adore her. She was glad that Cheryl had someone in her family that was kind to her. 

They said their goodbyes not long after, going back to Cheryl's Impala in the driveway. "Sorry, she doesn't really like to call anyone by their nickname, but insists that everyone calls her by hers," Cheryl chuckled as they got into the car. 

"It's okay. My grandma used to call me Antoinette. The name was actually her idea, so it drove her crazy hearing everyone call me Toni," the brunette snorted, shaking her head. 

"Were you close with her?" she bit her lip, hoping she wasn't asking too much.

"Yeah, I used to spend every weekend at her house when I was little. We used to bake cookies from scratch and make pottery, pretty much anything that made a mess."

"She sounds like fun," Cheryl smiled, letting the car heat back up before starting the drive to Centerville. 

"She was. She died a year before my parents." Toni spoke so plainly about it, it broke Cheryl's heart a little. How did she always manage to talk about her lost family members like she was talking about the weather?

"I'm sorry, TT," she reached over for her hand, squeezing comfortingly. 

"No need to be, babe. Nothing could've prevented it, she was just old," she shrugged, purposefully leaving out the fact that she had been the one who found her grandma, unmoving in her bed one Sunday morning in June all those years ago. 

Cheryl nodded, biting her lip again as she drove, keeping Toni's hand in hers for the remainder of the drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that we've hit 32, i can say that we only have five chapters left :(


	33. Chapter 33

A new semester wasn't going to stop Cheryl and Toni from their Monday morning tradition. But the redhead was rather nervous about her new class schedule. They wouldn't find out what classes they were placed in until homeroom. And while she was hoping she had some classes with Toni, she was dreading the possibility of having any classes with Sweet Pea, Reggie, Moose, or pretty much anyone from Toni's former crowd. She wasn't sure she would have the courage to deal with any of them. But she tried to push the thought away as she went up to the photography lab, smiling when she smelled the faint aroma of Toni's perfume lingering in the air.

She struggled to bite back a smile as she practically skipped across the classroom, closing herself into the dark room and immediately hugging her girlfriend from behind with a playful growl and a laugh.

"You have _way_ too much energy for a Monday morning," Toni giggled, bringing her free hand up to cover Cheryl's that were linked together over her chest. 

"I missed you," the younger girl huffed, holding her tighter.

"Did you hit your head and forget that we just saw each other _yesterday?"_ she chuckled, playfully trying to break out of her vise-like grip.

"Are you saying you haven't missed me since yesterday?" Cheryl let go, trying not to let her smile show through her pout when the brunette turned around to face her.

"I guess I have," she sighed dramatically, giggling as she leaned in to kiss the pout away. Cheryl's lips turned up into a smile against hers, her arms wrapping gently around her neck as she deepened the kiss. "I hope we have some classes together," Toni mumbled, pulling back after a few moments.

"Me too," the redhead sighed and brought her arms down to her back, resting her head on Toni's shoulder with a sigh. "But if we don't, we'll still see each other at lunch, right?"

The former Vixen nodded, kissing her temple, "Yeah."

Cheryl smiled, content with her face against her scarf-covered neck, furrowing her brow in confusion as she pulled back. "Why are you wearing your scarf inside?" she chuckled, gently running her fingertips against the black yarn over her tan sweater. 

"Oh, because..." Toni reached for the scarf, pulling it down enough to reveal the darkened patch of skin on her neck, " _Someone_ has a habit of sucking on my neck like a vampire." 

Cheryl brought a hand to cover her mouth, a bit scared at first at the sight of the hickey, not used to seeing bruises on Toni. But a fit of giggles muffled from behind her palm when she realized that she may have gotten a bit carried away in the movie theater parking lot last night. "I'm so sorry," she gasped through her giggles, laughing even harder when Toni started to laugh as well.

"Don't be, it was hot," Toni smirked, her laughter fading slowly as she shrugged, "Just gotta deal with the aftermath." The redhead blushed fiercely as she ducked her head. Even in the dark, red tinted room, Toni could tell that her face had turned a deep shade of pink. 

As always, the jingling of keys outside the door signaled that their time together was coming to an end. Toni sighed and tightened the ponytail on top of her head and turned to the photos she'd been working on before Cheryl came in, cleaning up the mess she'd left just as Mr. Clemmons came in the door. 

"Morning, ladies," the man smiled.

"Morning," they said in unison, Cheryl awkwardly adjusting the straps of her overalls while Toni cleaned up.

"Toni, can you hang back a minute before you go? I wanna talk to you about something."

"Sure," she nodded, confused.

"I'll see you later, Toni," Cheryl tucked her hair behind her ear with a timid smile, waving to her as she left the room.

**xxx**

Cheryl was starting to lose hope that she would have Toni in any of her classes. She hadn't seen her since this morning, so she didn't know her new schedule. The good news, though, was that so far she didn't share any classes with any of the jocks who loved to make her miserable. Josie was in her history class while Veronica and Midge sat behind her in algebra, but they all ignored her. At least for today.

She sighed as she entered her chemistry classroom for sixth period, claiming a seat at one of the tables by the windows. This classroom had a nice view of the snowy courtyard in the middle of the building. She watched students walk through, making their way to class as her new classmates filed into the chemistry lab, taking their seats around her. 

"Sup, Blossom?" a familiar voice came from right beside her, startling her a bit as she broke from her trance. She turned in her metal stool to see Toni taking the seat in the stool beside her, that signature smirk present on her face.

"Hi," she whispered, trying not to make it obvious that she was thrilled to see her. She bit her lip at Toni's smirk, her own lips turning up at just the sight of her. "Where were you at lunch?"

"Clemmons was helping me with my college applications. He wants me to go to some art school in California to study photography."

"Oh," she bit her lip a little harder and tore her eyes away when Mr. Huckleberry cleared his throat, writing his name on the chalkboard.

"I hope you're all comfortable where you're seated because those are going to be your seats for the remainder of the school year," the man in his 50s started passing out the syllabus for the class, "The person you share a lab table with will be your partner by default in most in-class projects, so get acquainted."

Cheryl bit back a smile. If they were seated in the back of the classroom, she would have reached for Toni's hand under the table. But unfortunately, she had chosen a table in the middle row. She peeked over at Toni as she blew a large bubble of pink gum before turning her attention back to Mr. Huckleberry. Maybe this semester wouldn't be so bad.

**xxx**

"Toni, this is like, the third time you've blown me off for Cheryl Blossom this _week_. And it's only Wednesday," Veronica folded her arms over her Vixens uniform, talking to Toni by their lockers after their final class had ended.

"We're lab partners, Ronnie. Huckleberry's chemistry class is intense, she's just helping me study," the brunette rolled her eyes, slamming her locker door shut, "Besides, I'm kinda sick of the mall."

Veronica gasped, rather dramatically as she leaned against her own locker, looking at Toni like she'd suddenly grown two heads. What made Toni roll her eyes even harder was that it wasn't even a playful gasp. 

"Be real with me, T," Veronica started, leaning in closer, "Is something going on with you and her? Ever since the ski trip you've been acting...different. Like, you literally broke Moose's nose because he said something about her." Toni's hands instinctively clenched into fists at the mention of Moose Mason. "Come on, Toni, you used to be fun."

"Well sorry, but making people's lives a living hell isn't my idea of 'fun' anymore."

"Oh please, you're so dramatic. Since when is asking Blossom if she raided Steve Urkel's closet considered making her life hell?"

"What does it matter to you how she dresses, Veronica? Or how she does her hair? What's the point of even commenting on it? Like, who benefits from that?"

"Okay, seriously, what did she _do_ to you in that hotel room? Did she brainwash you or something? Because the Toni I've known since third grade wouldn't be caught dead defending a girl like Cheryl Blossom."

Toni could feel the heat rising in her as she grew more and more frustrated. She was close to snapping and saying something she shouldn't. But she just tried to remember that if she slipped, Veronica would tell everyone. And it would only be a matter of time before it got back to Cheryl's parents. "Y'know, you've been _obsessed_ with Cheryl lately," she smirked, folding her arms as she leaned her shoulder against the cool metal of her locker, "I'm starting to think you're jealous."

" _Me?_ Jealous of that geek?" Veronica scoffed, her mouth hanging open in shock, "Now I _know_ you've got a few loose wires, Topaz."

"Not of her, of _me_. You're totally jealous that she wants to hang out with me instead of you," her nose scrunched up as she teased her.

"Oh my god, you're delusional, Toni."

"Am I though? I mean, you've had a problem with me even being around her since I joined the newspaper team. I think you're just mad that she likes me better than you," the brunette grinned devilishly.

"This conversation is over. Are you coming to the mall or not?"

"Not. I still have to study for chemistry," Toni chuckled.

"Ugh, whatever."

"Don't be jealous, Ronnie. Maybe start being nicer to her and she'll like you too," she smirked, glad that she managed to get Veronica off her back by turning the tables on her. She watched as the raven-haired cheerleader practically stomped down the empty hall, roughly bumping Cheryl's shoulder as they passed by each other. But she resisted the urge to call her out on it, giving the redhead a warm smile instead. "Hey," she sighed, reaching out to rub her shoulder.

"What's _she_ so mad about?" Cheryl asked, looking back at Veronica's retreating form as Toni rubbed her shoulder for her.

"Nothing, it's all good," she smiled reassuringly as she grabbed her backpack from her locker before following the redhead down to the parking lot.

**xxx**

"Would you be quiet?" Josie whispered, snapping as Midge tripped over her own feet, nearly knocking over a display of books in the library.

"Sorry," she whispered back, balancing herself and fluffing up her pixie cut. 

The girls had followed Toni to the library after eighth period the next day under Veronica's instruction, the head cheerleader giving them both a break from practice for the afternoon. 

"I still don't get what we're even doing," Midge said quietly, following close behind her fellow cheerleader as they tip-toed through the library. It wasn't empty, but it wasn't packed either. But they saw Toni and Cheryl come in a few minutes ago, watching as they disappeared in the stacks. 

"We're trying to see if Toni is dyking out with that creep Blossom," Josie explained as they hid behind one of the large shelves.

"But Toni's hated Cheryl since like, middle school."

"And now she's ditching us for her and punching guys for just _talking_ to her. Something's definitely going on, so just shut up."

The girls tip-toed across a few rows of shelving, slipping into the one beside the row Toni and Cheryl had disappeared into. Josie held her finger to her lips as she and Midge crept quietly across the carpet, closer to the quiet voices from a few feet away.

"Come on, focus, we have a quiz tomorrow," Cheryl said quietly through a bit of a giggle.

"This is so boring," Toni could be heard groaning quietly. The noise of lips against lips was unmistakable, despite being barely audible in the near-silent library.

Josie looked at Midge with her jaw hung open in shock and disgust, leaning in closer. Why did they have to be in the reference section where the books were too tall to see through the shelves?

"If I get an A on this quiz, are you gonna make all this studying worth my while?" Toni whispered, followed by the sound of Cheryl's quiet giggling.

"Isn't the A worth it?" 

"I guess, but it's not the reward I want."

"I don't think we should talk about the reward you want here, TT," Cheryl said quietly, "Maybe tomorrow after school."

"You're such a tease, it's not fair," they could hear the pout in Toni's voice.

Josie whipped around so fast to turn to Midge, accidentally knocking a few encyclopedias over in her haste. "Shit," she hissed, jumping back before any of them could land on her feet. 

"Nice going, Detective Dumbass," Midge whispered, yelping out loud as another heavy book fell from the shelf and onto her own foot.

"What the hell, you guys?" Toni's voice made them both nearly jump out of their skin as they turned to face her where she stood, at the entrance of the row. "Does Veronica know you're ditching Vixens practice?"

"Does Veronica know you're secretly hooking up with Cheryl Blossom?" Josie shot back, keeping her voice down so they didn't get in trouble.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she folded her arms over her chest defensively.

"We saw you two come in together, Toni. And we heard you talking and kissing," Midge mirrored her position.

"We were talking about the chemistry quiz she's helping me study for. And kissing? Seriously? Are you two delusional?"

"We know what we heard, T," Josie smirked, "Just wait til we tell Veronica."

"Unlike the two of you, Veronica's not an idiot. She'd never believe whatever crazy story you're spinning here."

"Well, why have you been ditching us for her so much?"

"Yeah, and why are you being so nice to her all of a sudden?"

"She's been tutoring me, okay? I'm failing like, all my classes, and she's helping me catch up. She won't help me if I'm a bitch to her," Toni spoke quickly, the words flying out of her mouth as she folded her arms a bit tighter against her chest, "We're not friends, and we sure as _hell_ aren't dating. God, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?"

The two cheerleaders looked at each other, solemnly, realizing they'd been a bit foolish in thinking something so absurd, regardless of what they heard. "Sorry, T, we just thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong. I can't believe you pervs actually thought that I would be back here hooking up with Cheryl Blossom of all people," she scoffed, rolling her eyes, "So if you don't mind, I have to study for my quiz tomorrow and you two have to go back to kissing Veronica's ass."

She stood her ground firmly, watching as the two girls who used to be her minions scamper away. With a sigh, she dropped her arms and tried to ignore the tight clenching in her chest. She hadn't said anything negative about Cheryl to her former friends in so long, even if it was just to defend herself so they didn't get suspicious. But saying it now, after she'd been doing so well defending the girl she'd fallen in love with, she felt sick. Regardless of why she said the things she said, she felt like bile was rising in her throat as she fought back tears.

"Cher," she breathed heavily, turning back to the row they'd been sitting in, seeing no one and nothing but her own belongings and text book by the wall, "Shit." She cursed quietly to herself, wiping the single tear that had fallen from her eyes as she collected her things, searching the stacks for her girlfriend. It didn't seem like she was in the library at all anymore. She must have slipped out at some point while Toni was trying to get rid of Josie and Midge.

Leaving the library, she glanced around the hallway, her maroon painted lip pinched between her teeth as she thought about where she would have gone. Going with her first instinct, she went to the nearest stairwell and climbing up to the second floor, hoping to find her in the one place in this school that they'd claimed as their own. 

The door to the photography lab was unlocked, but Mr. Clemmons had surely already left for the day by now. She opened the classroom door, noting that the lights were off. Cheryl usually left her backpack on a desk, but the purple Jansport was nowhere in sight. Crossing the room after locking the classroom door behind her, she slowly turned the knob to the dark room door, her heart breaking at the familiar sound of sniffling coming from behind it. She didn't ask her what was wrong. She _knew_ what was wrong, and she hated being the cause of Cheryl's tears. 

The redhead was leaned against the wall, shoulders slumped as she clutched the _'T'_ pendant around her neck. Toni wasn't sure if Cheryl wanted anything to do with her right now, but she crossed the small space to hug her tightly, feeling her tense muscles relax when the younger girl hugged her back, melting into her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she chanted like a mantra in her ear, running her fingers through the long red hair of her ponytail. She backed up until she was in the spinning desk chair and pulled Cheryl to sit in her lap, still holding her tightly as they both cried. "I wasn't thinking about what I was saying, I was just trying to get rid of them," she explained. It was the truth, but it felt like such a half-assed, shitty excuse. "Cheryl...Baby, please look at me," she whispered desperately, trying to get her to understand. 

The girl curled up in her lap sniffled, picking her head up as she clutched her pendant tightly. She searched Toni's face with her watery eyes, watching as the brunette pulled the gold colored _'C'_ from under her sweater, keeping it tightly in her grasp.

"I love you. I love you so much, Cher. I didn't mean any of what I said to them, please believe me."

Cheryl sniffled and nodded sadly, pressing her lips to Toni's gently. She knew her girlfriend wasn't the best with words, but she could always pinpoint her emotions through her actions. And in the desperate kisses Toni gave her, Cheryl could tell how sorry she was. She loved Toni. Their relationship was complicated, but she loved her with her whole heart. And she knew that Toni felt the same way about her. 

"I believe you," she breathed against her lips, still tasting the salty mix of tears between them, "It just...i-it reminded me of-"

"Of how awful I used to be to you?" the brunette cut in, her chest tightening as Cheryl nodded, her pale fingers wiping the inevitable mascara stains from her face. "I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I just...panicked. And I know that doesn't excuse what I said, but I didn't mean it." Cheryl's fingers trembled against her cheek, running her thumb along her jaw. "I love you, and I wanna protect you. But I mean..." she looked dazed as her jaw slacked, "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have to be protected in the first place."

"What?" Cheryl's brow furrowed, wiping her own tears away as she pulled back a little more.

"No, seriously, when your mom did that weird...cleansing thing to your hands, that was because of what I did to you in the locker room. When your dad hit you, that was cause he saw me on your doorstep. All my old friends giving you hell all these years...I started that."

"Toni, stop it," Cheryl took her face in her shaking hands, her voice trembling as well, "When my dad hit me, who was there to pick me up and give me a place to stay when I needed to get away from home?" She watched another tear slip down Toni's cheek and wiped it away quickly. "Who?"

"Me," the brunette mumbled.

"When my parents dragged me away at the Halloween dance, who came to my house just to check that I was okay?"

"Me."

"Who came to pick me up to save me from my date with Nick St. Creep?" she sniffled, pushing her glasses up.

"Me."

Cheryl smiled a little through her own tears, leaning her forehead against Toni's gently, reaching up to play with the _'C'_ against her sweater. "Who defends me from bullies and kisses me when I'm sad? Who gets up extra early just to spend a little extra time with me before school on Mondays?"

"Me, me, and me," Toni's lips curled up into the tiniest hint of a smile as she kissed the redhead slowly, savoring the feeling of her cherry flavored lips against hers.

"Who am I so in love with that it scares me sometimes?" she whispered, feeling her heartbeat start to race, still fiddling with the pendant around Toni's neck.

The brunette's breath caught in her throat as another tear fell from her eyes, "Me."

"You," Cheryl nodded to confirm, kissing her again slowly, despite her rapid heartbeat. "No matter what you did or who you were in the past, I know that's not you anymore. You're not Toni Topaz, the HBIC cheerleader. Not to me. Not anymore. You're my TT, and I love you."

Toni's lips met hers barely a second after she finished speaking. Cheryl wasn't used to being the rational one between them when it came to things like this. Usually she was the one over-thinking things while Toni tried to calm her down. But she was confident in her words and she stood by each and every one. 

"I love you, Cher," the older girl pulled back, wiping at her eyes before breathing a light, teasing laugh, "How'd you get to be so smart?"

Cheryl squirmed a little as Toni poked her sides, feeling the laughter bubble up from her chest. "I had a good teacher. She taught me how to pick a lock, too," she shrugged, placing a smiling peck to her lips, "Wanna finish studying in here?"

"There's better lighting out in the classroom," Toni smirked, kissing her shoulder.

"I know, but...I like being in here with you," she muttered shyly, ducking her head, "This is our place, right?"

"Yeah," the brunette nodded, wrapping her arms tighter around her waist, "Right."


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! please read the note at the end! also i love you!

Cheryl wasn't proud enough to call herself a perfect girlfriend, no matter how much Toni claimed she was. But she had to give herself a pat on the back for the things she did to make Toni smile. It was the brunette's last weekend of punishment for punching Moose in the face last month after the dance. She'd served too many Saturday detentions for both their liking, but it was finally over and Saturdays were theirs again. For the past few Saturdays that Toni had detention, the only interaction they got was Cheryl calling her early in the morning to make sure she woke up and wasn't late. 

Around 3:30, seated in her Impala in the student parking lot, Cheryl waited with a bag of food from Pop's and two milkshakes. She kept the heat running in the car as she nibbled on a few of her fries, looking at the door to see if students had been let out yet. There weren't too many other cars in the parking lot besides hers and Toni's. According to Toni most of the weekends she went in for detention, she was surrounded by freshmen who got caught smoking in the bathrooms, or other things they thought would make them seem edgy and cool.

A smile came to her face when she saw a small group of students start to file out of the main doors, keeping her eyes on the girl in the high-waisted jeans and black puffy coat. She bit her lip as Toni walked towards her car, getting excited like a puppy when the brunette got close enough for her to make out a smile on her face. She gestured to the passenger side door, watching as she followed her instructions and got into the car beside her.

"Happy last day of detention," she giggled, handing her the brown bag, "Figured you might be hungry."

"You're unreal," Toni shook her head with a laugh, immediately digging into the fries, "Thanks, babe."

Cheryl nodded, sitting sideways in her seat as she watched her girlfriend with a smile. "I thought we could go do something today? Maybe go to Greendale or just drive around?"

"That sounds great, but I'm fucking exhausted," she frowned, "Weatherbee had us in there working twice as hard as the janitors. Like scrubbing graffiti from the bathroom stalls and mopping the cafeteria."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know, I-"

"No, it's okay. I just wanna go home to shower and maybe take a nap or something first if that's okay?"

"Of course that's okay. We don't have to hang out today, TT. It's not like either of us are going anywhere," Cheryl pushed her glasses up with a bit of a smile.

"I still wanna spend time with you, babe. Even if I wanna take a nap, I'd rather nap with you than nap alone," she smirked, chuckling at Cheryl's blush before sipping her melted chocolate shake, "I can drive if you don't mind if I eat first."

The redhead nodded, making sure there were no students walking by before leaning over to kiss Toni's cheek, smiling when she giggled in her ear. She didn't mind waiting. She didn't mind whatever they did, she was just happy to be with her. They sat in the warm car while Toni ate her burger, talking about the brunette's theory about Weatherbee's fucked up views on child labor or Cheryl's parents doing god knows what kind of business around town.

"Seriously, what if your dad is secretly some kind of all-powerful mobster? And he's out there committing crime after crime while passing himself off as a saint who can do no wrong," Toni laughed at the possibility, "I mean, come on, what kind of pastor needs business partners?"

"I think you've seen that Goodfellas movie a few too many times," Cheryl chuckled, "The business was my grandfather's. It's being put in his name whenever my nana passes."

"Oh right, the maple syrup business," Toni nodded, remembering that Cheryl had told her about her family's company just after she met her Nana Rose.

"Yeah. I guess he's not supposed to get involved in it, with him being a 'man of God' and everything," she held up air quotes with a roll of her eyes, "But he's Clifford Blossom, the most righteous man in town. He can do what he wants."

"Ugh," Toni rolled her eyes as well, crumpling up the brown paper bag as she finished her burger, "You ready?" 

Cheryl nodded, making sure she had everything before getting out of the car, locking it behind her and getting into the passenger seat of Toni's Corolla. "I could have driven to Pop's so you don't have to drive all the way back here to drop me off again," she buckled her seatbelt, looking over at Toni as she started the engine.

"It's not a big deal, Cher. If anything, it just means I get you to myself for a few minutes longer," she bit her lip, smirking at the pink tint that covered her girlfriend's face. Three months together and she still had the ability to make the redhead giggle like a school girl.

Leaning back comfortably in her seat, Cheryl stared out the window as Toni drove, listening to her quietly singing along to the classic rock on the radio as they made their way from North Riverdale to South. She loved how with Toni, her worries about school and her parents withered away to practically nothing. She wasn't worried about what people at school would say or what her parents would do if they found out about them. Sure, the worry was still there in the back of her head, but in moments like these, all she thought about was how she never imagined herself so happy.

The bumps of the car going over the train tracks and onto the rocky pavement broke her from her thoughts. The small billboard for Sunnyside coming up on her right brought her an odd sense of comfort. She felt more comfortable in a trailer park full of bikers and gang members than in her own home.

She followed Toni through the cheap metal door, letting the warmth from the whistling heater relax her as she took off her jacket and set her bag down by the door. 

"I'm just gonna go shower, I'll be right back out. You can make yourself comfortable," the brunette pecked her lips gently. An invitation to join her was on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it back down, not wanting to pressure the redhead. They hadn't done much of anything since the first morning of the new year nearly three weeks ago, so naturally she was eager.

"Okay," Cheryl shyly pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, reminding herself to go get them tightened again soon. She watched Toni walk off to the bathroom before taking off her sneakers. The bottoms of her jeans were cold and wet from the snow on the ground, she couldn't really nap in jeans anyways. Crossing the kitchen and into Toni's room, she shed the blue jeans and her sweater, looking for something more comfortable to wear. She wanted to wear Toni's yellow hoodie. It was her favorite. Unable to find it, she sighed and pulled on one of her long night shirts with Garfield on the front, picking up her jeans to bring them to the dryer. Down the short hallway, she placed them in the machine, setting it for a simple thirty minute cycle, figuring that would be enough to dry them.

Cheryl was about to turn back to go get comfortable in Toni's bed when sunlight peeked through the slightly cracked door at the end of the hall. She'd never seen that door open before. Toni said it was just her uncle's room, but to leave it alone because he liked his privacy. That door was always shut, so seeing it open piqued her curiosity. 

Biting her lip, she looked back at the bathroom door tip-toeing carefully across the linoleum until the light through the crack was on her face. She peered through, her eyes adjusting to the sunlight coming through the tattered blinds. After opening the door the tiniest bit more, quiet gasp escaped her lips as she felt herself stiffen. Snakes. _Everywhere_. Serpent memorabilia covered the walls. Leather jackets and torn denim vests were strewn about, photos and tapestries hung on the walls. She didn't think there was a single thing in the room that didn't have some kind of snake on it. Even the multiple sets of brass knuckles on the dresser were decorated with them.

"What are you doing?" Toni's voice made her jump back in shock, her shoulder blades hitting the wooden doorframe behind her as she turned to see her girlfriend dressed in only a towel, her brown eyes wide. In any other situation, she would be blushing like an idiot, but she was too worried about the gang shrine in front of her. 

"Th-the door was cracked open, I-" she stammered, her body starting to shake in fear. She'd heard stories about the Southside Serpents. They were monsters, they were cold-blooded killers. She heard they once jumped and stabbed a Northsider just for setting foot on their territory. Toni reached past her and closed the door, holding the towel against her chest. Not even the smell of her body wash could get Cheryl to calm down right now.

"Why did you go in there?" the brunette asked her sharply, brushing wet damp hair off her own neck.

"I-I told you, the door was open," Cheryl's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. 

"I told you not to go in my uncle's room, Cher! Do you know what he'd do if he found out anyone was in here?" 

"So you're aware that your uncle is obsessed with the Southside Serpents? You know they kill people, right? Like, for no reason?" she snapped defensively. 

"He's not _obsessed_ with the Serpents, he _is_ a Serpent," Toni snapped back, watching as Cheryl's jaw slackened a bit, "And they don't kill people for no reason. You're thinking of the Ghoulies."

The redhead stared at her incredulously as they stood on opposite walls of the narrow hallway.

"A-are you-"

"I'm not a Serpent," she cut her off, shaking her head, "But they're...my family." 

Cheryl stood in stunned silence, wondering how any of this could even be possible. Toni always portrayed herself as some kind of north side princess like Veronica and Josie. It came as a shock when she found out that she lived on the south side of town, but to find out that her uncle was part of a dangerous gang? Cheryl couldn't even think of what to say.

"Come on," the brunette sighed, taking her hand to lead her to her bedroom. 

Cheryl sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, still shaken at everything she'd seen just minutes ago. She stared at her girlfriend as she changed into a loose tank top and shorts, her heartbeat picking up speed as she combed out her hair, starting to explain. 

"My uncle's a Serpent, my parents were Serpents, my grandpa was one of the founders back in the 60's before he died," Toni muttered as she ran the comb through her damp wavy hair, standing a few feet away from Cheryl. "I was literally born into the Serpents. I was born in the basement of the Whyte Wyrm during someone's initiation."

Cheryl felt like her jaw was going to drop to the floor as if she were a cartoon character.

"My uncle is pretty much second in command to the guy who took over for my grandpa. He would have been the leader if he didn't have to take responsibility for me after my parents died. But since I was old enough to take care of myself, he's able to go out of town for business."

"Why is he never around if the gang is based in Riverdale?" Cheryl asked, her mind swirling with questions. 

"I don't know. He can't tell me. It's just...Serpent business."

"A-and what about the murders...?"

"I'm not gonna tell you that the Serpents aren't dangerous, Cher. It's a gang, of course it's dangerous. But they don't hurt anyone unprovoked. They're dedicated to protecting each other. They're a family. They're _my_ family. They look after me and keep me safe since I'm living by myself here most of the time. Hell, they even help me out financially when my uncle can't get enough money for bills."

"S-so you're not...you're not one of them?"

"I mean, not officially," the brunette walked over to the bed, sitting beside her on the edge, "But if I was...would that change anything?"

"No," she answered quickly, shaking her head, "No, TT, of course not."

"So what does it matter if my uncle is?" she leaned in closer, stroking her pale cheek.

"I guess it doesn't...it's still surprising, though. My parents have always told me a bunch of horrible things about the Serpents, I just-"

"Your parents also told you that _looking_ at another girl for too long would guarantee you a seat in hell," Toni chuckled, "And you don't believe that, do you?"

She hesitated in answering, unsure if she even believed there was a hell. If she did, she believed that it was a place where bad people went. She wasn't a bad person just for being in love with a girl. "I guess not," she shook her head, leaning into the warm palm against her cheek. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's not really something I talk about a lot, knowing the reputation they have," Toni sighed, laying down with her against the pillows.

"The drunk driver who killed my brother was a Serpent," the redhead mumbled quietly as Toni pulled the comforter up over them, biting her lip as she looked at her, "But...that's just what my parents said."

Toni was quiet as she got comfortable beside her. "I'm sorry," she whispered, gently pulling the glasses off of Cheryl's face, setting them on the nightstand and placing soft kisses over her eyelids, "I'm really sorry."

Cheryl kept her tears at bay, not wanting to cry in front of her again. She was so tired of crying in front of her girlfriend. She just wanted to be happy. "Can we just sleep and stay in for today?" she opened her eyes when she felt Toni's head on the pillow beside her, "I know you're tired from detention."

"Whatever you want, baby," the brunette kissed her slowly, wrapping her in her comforting embrace.

**xxx**

Even after finding out about Toni's family secret, Cheryl still preferred the comfort of her trailer over the gloom of her own large house. Just pulling up to the driveway after Toni dropped her off back at school had her muscles tensing up. Sighing, she walked up the front steps of her house, wiping her shoes on the mat before going through the front door. She wasn't immediately engulfed in warmth like she was when she stepped into Toni's trailer.

Speaking of her parents, she was surprised to see that they weren't home yet. Maybe they went out to dinner or had another business meeting. She could hear the fireplace crackling in the living room after she closed the door behind her. The fireplace wasn't supposed to be running if no one was home. Turning the corner, she found her mother standing in front of the raging fire, her back turned to her as she seemed to stare into the flame. 

"Mommy?" she asked timidly, making herself known without scaring the older Blossom, "Are you okay? Where's Daddy?"

"Helena was changing your bed sheets today, Cheryl," the woman started, her tone ominous as she kept her back turned. Even with the fire raging under the chimney, Cheryl felt like the room was ice cold. She watched as her mother turned around, a glass of wine in one hand and her sketchbook in the other. "She found _this_ under your mattress."

Her heart dropped.

"I-it's just my sketchbook, Mommy. Y-you know I like to draw..."

"Yes, but this," Penelope put her glass down so she could flip through the pages, turning the book disgustedly in her hands, "This isn't art, Cheryl, this is pornography." The younger redhead could feel her throat closing up as she looked at the page her mother showed her. It was a sketch she'd done just a few weeks ago of Toni's bare figure, drawing from memory on a night when she missed her terribly. Thankfully she'd left out her face.

"And this?" Penelope flipped through a few more pages, her face twisted in displeasure as she showed Cheryl the detailed drawings of Toni's face, "I thought we told you to stay away from that trashy Topaz girl. Why, after five years of public schooling, are you choosing to act out and defy us?"

"Mommy, I only spend time with her when we have meetings for the Blue and Gold," Cheryl tried to reason with her, "I have sketches of Betty and myself in that book, too. I just draw what comes to mind."

"Well, if that girl is on your mind as much as this book shows, there's a boarding school in Switzerland that would be happy to rid you of your deviant ways. Do you have _any_ idea how furious your father would be if he saw this?"

Cheryl could feel the walls closing in on her. She was grateful that she had taken the photo strip from the ski lodge out of her pillow case and put it into the cassette case with the mix tape from Toni in her backpack. If they had found that, she would be halfway to that boarding school by now. "Mommy, I'm sorry. Can I please have my sketchbook back?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes as her mother slammed the book shut.

"I don't know what's going on with you, Cheryl, but I pray that God has mercy on your soul when you greet him at the pearly gates," her mother's voice shook with an emotion that Cheryl couldn't place. 

She was going to speak again, but only a cry of internal pain came out when her mother tossed the book carelessly into the fire. She watched with tearful eyes as the flame grew higher as it burned up the pages she'd worked tirelessly on some nights; Pages she'd cried over as she prayed for the book to swallow her up, letting her live with the characters she drew from the fairytales she loved so much. All her hard work, her passionate sketches and memories were gone, soon to just be charred remains at the base of the chimney. 

"Go to the closet, Cheryl," her mother spoke from behind her as tears slipped down to the floor.

Her tears of sadness quickly turned to tears of anger. She tried to keep it in, but it was eating her alive. She wanted to scream at her mother and tell her the truth about everything. She wanted to tell her that despite all their attempts to keep her as straight as an arrow, she'd liked girls for as long as she could remember. She wanted to rub it in her face that she was in love with the girl they hated. And she wanted to scream at her mother that the girl they hated made love to her just two feet from where she was standing. 

But she kept it in, just letting her tears fall as she did what she was told. If she were the only one at risk, she would have taken whatever punishment her mother could throw her way. But she didn't want to put Toni in danger. Regardless of the fact that she had the Serpents as her protection, Cheryl knew what her father was capable of.

Sniffling, she walked slowly to the closet in the hallway, kneeling on the floor obediently and lighting a few of the candles.

"Your father will be home shortly. I want Leviticus 20:13 written one hundred times in your notebook before your bedtime. One hundred times in cursive and I won't tell him about what Helena found today," Penelope closed the door, locking her in as Cheryl quickly reached for one of the notebooks on the shelves, hastily getting to writing. Tears fell onto the paper as she wrote with a shaky hand, pulling her necklace out from under her sweater to clutch at the gold _'T'_ on the end of the chain. 

_"If man lies with man as one does with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They are to be put to death, their blood shall be upon them."_

She wrote it out shakily. She had it memorized from how many times her parents made her recite it. It was burned into her brain, forever haunting her. But she wrote it out until the words stopped making sense, the letters were just swirly lines, and her eyes hurt from the dim candlelight.

**xxx**

She lost track of how many times she'd written out the verse. For all she knew, she had written it 200 times. She just wrote it over and over again until her mother let her out, the hallway lights nearly blinding the youngest Blossom when the door was opened. Penelope allowed her to get a glass of water before sending her straight up to bed, forbidding her from eating dinner for the night. Thankfully she had leftover pizza before leaving Toni's earlier that evening.

She tried to keep her sniffling to a minimum as she sat against her headboard. This house was like a prison. Her father always preached about hell and what it was like, but there were times she wasn't sure it could be any worse than her own house. 

As exhausted as she was, she waited until she could hear her father's snoring through the walls to leave her room. Her mother must have been honest about not telling him about the sketchbook, otherwise she would have surely heard about it from him by now. But the sound of his snoring was comforting as she slipped out of her bedroom. Her flannel pajamas were clinging to her skin from the dry air and static as she padded down the stairs to the kitchen. Just in case, she kept the lights off, dialing the number on the telephone before closing herself in the pantry like always. She thought it was strange that being locked in one closet in her house was so traumatizing for her, while another made her feel so safe. 

Sniffling quietly, she wiped at her eyes under her glasses, listening to the continuous ringing in her ear.

_"Hey,"_ Toni yawned into the phone. It was a little bit later than when she would normally call. Not to mention a day early. She tried to bring herself to greet her, but her eyes squeezed shut instead as her chest tightened. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, muffling the heavy sob that came from deep within her. _"Cher? Baby, what's wrong? What happened?"_

Cheryl cried into her palm, her glasses fogging from the hot tears in her eyes. She was an expert at silent tears, but she just couldn't hold it in anymore. She felt like she was going to explode. She wanted to cry and scream, but she couldn't. Not now. 

Toni soothed in her ear as the redhead took a deep, shaky breath.

"I-I just wanna get out of here. I _hate_ it here. I hate my parents, I hate this town," she whispered harshly as her body shook against the shelf of canned goods.

_"You're freakin' me out, babe, what happened?"_

"Everything, Toni!" her voice raised only slightly, but it only made her cry more now that she felt the immediate guilt of snapping at her girlfriend, "I just wish we could run away from Riverdale."

_"I wish we could too, but...you've got people to stick around for. Your friends, your nana..."_

The redhead wiped her eyes again, ducking her head against her bent knees as she kept the phone pressed to her hear. "My mom found my sketchbook," she whispered, sniffling quietly as her ragged breathing started to even out. 

_"Shit."_

"She didn't tell my dad, but...there was so much in there. Years worth of practice and effort...it was like my diary, and now it's gone," heavy tears slipped down her cheeks, feeling her hair start to stick to her forehead. Apparently she'd been crying hard enough to work up a sweat.

_"She didn't hurt you, did she?"_

"When I got home, sh-she locked me in the...the closet. And I had to write this heinous bible verse over and over again for hours. She just let me out about an hour ago," she whispered, trying not to cry again as the verse echoed tauntingly in her head. 

_"I dropped you off to get your car five hours ago, Cheryl, she had you in there all that time?"_

She nodded as she continued to cry, aware that Toni couldn't see it. But she didn't really need her to confirm it. 

_"Do you wanna come back over here for the night?"_

"No, TT, it's late and I have to be at church in the morning."

_"Then I'll come there."_

"Toni, are you crazy?"

_"Not to stay the night, I'm not an idiot. I just wanna make sure you're okay."_

"I'm okay..."

_"I'll believe it when I see it. I'll be there in fifteen."_

"Ton-" the click of Toni hanging up her end of the phone was followed by the dull dial tone. She loved Toni, but she couldn't help but question her sanity sometimes. 

She wiped her eyes and stood up, balancing herself on one of the wooden shelves behind her before leaving the pantry and hanging up the phone. She glanced around nervously, wondering what to do. Toni was stubborn and she was going to come over whether Cheryl liked it or not. But she meant well.

She paced around the dark kitchen, wondering if she should wait downstairs for her to come to the door. None of the rooms in the house gave her a view of the front yard except for the living room. Her fingers shook as she bit her nails. The pounding of her heart was so loud in her ears she was worried that it would wake her parents up all the way upstairs. 

Taking a deep breath, she climbed the stairs again, her wobbly legs nearly tripping her on the way up. She didn't want to risk getting caught out of her room. Toni wasn't stupid, she wouldn't go to the door, right? 

She sat impatiently on her bed, listening for the sound of Toni's clunky car outside. Her arms were nearly numb from nerves as she stared at the clock on her nightstand. The fifteen minutes were passing unreasonably slow and she still hadn't heard a car outside. She was about to check to see if Toni was waiting at the front door for her when she heard the lightest tap on her window, making her flinch in the barely lit room. 

Toni was right outside her window, wrapped up in her black puffy coat. Cheryl suddenly recalled the trellis right below her window that was normally covered with vines and flowers in the warmer months. 

Her girlfriend was definitely insane. 

With her jaw slacked, she scrambled off her bed to the window, unlatching it and pushing the pane up. The cold January air was coming into her room but she just couldn't bring herself to care. 

"Have you lost your mind?" she whispered harshly despite her uncontrollable giggling, pulling her in through the window and refusing her the time to answer as her lips met hers.

"Would you have been able to sleep if I called you crying like you were to me?" the brunette whispered against her lips. 

"No...I guess not," she sighed, quickly finding contentment in her girlfriend's embrace. She kissed her again, walking back towards her bed with her, not even caring that Toni was tracking dead leaves and melted snow across the rug. She still couldn't believe that she showed up at her window like something out of a romance novel. 

"I can't stay long, I don't want you to get in trouble," the brunette whispered as Cheryl pulled her down onto the large bed, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Cheryl's rapidly beating heart fluttered in her chest. She couldn't even bring herself to stop kissing Toni long enough to respond. Her tanned cheeks were cold against her warm, trembling fingers, sending a shiver down her spine. "I love you so much, TT," she hummed breathily into the kisses, pulling her closer as the former Vixen hovered over her. 

"I love you too, babe, but I think I should go before you get too carried away," Toni giggled quietly, trying to suppress a needy groan as Cheryl's hips bucked up against hers. Cheryl pulled away from the heated kisses with a pout, grinning a bit shyly when Toni planted one last peck to her lips. "Here, take this off," the brunette flicked one of the buttons of her flannel pajama top, sitting up beside her as she unzipped her black jacket. 

Cheryl sat up, confused, but did as she said, unbuttoning the top slowly and sliding it off. She was wearing a black tank top underneath just in case she got too warm in the middle of the night. Watching curiously, she bit her lip as Toni slipped the puffy coat off her arms, revealing the yellow hoodie they were both so fond of underneath. 

She pulled the hoodie off, adjusting it in her hands and holding it up to Cheryl, giving her a gentle, wordless command to hold her arms up. The redhead could read her actions like a book. A blush took over her cheeks as she held her arms up, letting Toni carefully pull the hoodie over her head, dressing her like a child and pecking her lips once she was securely in the oversized sweatshirt. 

"That better?"

She nodded her head, still biting her lip shyly as she mumbled a quiet, "Mmhm," and leaned up to kiss her again, "Will you lay with me for a few minutes before you go?"

Toni glanced at her bedroom door, a bit unsure. But one look into Cheryl's deep brown eyes and she was putty. Nodding her head, she slipped off her boots and climbed higher up onto the bed, letting the redhead guide her up to the pillows so she could lay comfortably with her. 

Always the clingy one, Cheryl nuzzled her face into Toni's neck, sighing contently against the warm skin. The yellow fabric she was swimming in smelled like that unique mixture of cucumber melon and Chanel. The smell that she could only describe as 'Toni'. In her excitement to see her girlfriend, Cheryl had forgotten how exhausted she was. But being wrapped up in nothing but loving warmth had her red, swollen eyes slipping closed already, unable to resist the temptation to sleep any longer. 

Toni ran her fingers through her hair as her breathing evened out. She wished she could whisk Cheryl away from this house of horrors. Aside from Jason's room, what did she have here? She kissed her warm temple a few times, reaching under the hoodie and tank top she had on to rub the bare skin of her back. She could feel her own eyelids starting to close, but she urged herself to get up before she fell asleep, not wanting to get Cheryl into any more trouble. 

She slid out of Cheryl's embrace, smiling a bit at her sleepy whine of displeasure as she put her coat and boots back on. 

"TT?" 

She turned around to face her girlfriend, seeing her eyes barely open as she looked up at her. "I gotta get going, babe," she whispered, crossing the small space to crouch in front of her, brushing hair back from her face as she pouted in her half-asleep state.

"M'kay, I love you," Cheryl murmured, her eyes slipping closed again as Toni kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, baby," she stood up to pull the comforter higher up her body, kissing her forehead one more time and slipping back out the window, closing the pane behind her before climbing down and walking back to her car at the end of the driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so since we're getting close to the end here, i just wanna know what questions you all have that may, so far, be unanswered. toni's big secret and the question of why the blossoms hate the topaz family will be answered soon, but i wanna make sure i don't leave any other relevant questions unanswered in the last chapter or the epilogue :) so feel free to to throw any questions about the past, present, or future of the characters at me!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your feedback and questions! I only just started writing the epilogue, so i'm still able to take care of any questions that need to be answered. and hopefully the end will tie up all the loose ends. 
> 
> also this chapter is 75% smut so enjoy.

It seemed like time always flew by with Toni. Cheryl's home life was miserable, but the bits of time she got to spend with Toni made it all bearable. Whether it was their Monday morning tradition of meeting in the dark room or just sitting together in their chemistry class. Toni brought out a light in her that she hadn't seen in herself since Jason was alive. And she just knew that Toni thought the same about her.

But surprisingly, despite the three and a half months they'd been sneaking around, Cheryl was finding that it was getting harder to lie to her parents. She thought that it would be just the opposite, but she was starting to struggle to hide her lovesick smile whenever she told her parents she was going over to Betty's, or that she had an event to cover at school for the Blue and Gold. Sometimes it was true. There were nights when she went to Betty's for dinner or a little study party. And of course, there were sporting events and other school activities that had to be covered for the newspaper. But she could feel her excuses getting weaker. 

"What movie would you be seeing?" Penelope swirled her wine in her glass as she and Clifford sat in the living room. Cheryl was standing in front of them awkwardly, asking permission to go out for the night. She knew that Archie and Betty were going to the drive-in tonight and she had already asked Betty help cover for her earlier today at school. The blonde was a lot better at lying than either of them expected. And now that she knew the truth about Cheryl's abusive parents, she was more willing to lie to help protect her best friend. 

"I think we're seeing that new Disney movie about the toys that come to life," she picked at her fingers nervously, hoping she was being convincing. She'd been very obedient lately, aside from the incident with her sketchbook last week, but her father still hadn't mentioned it. Meaning her mother hadn't told him, which came as a surprise to the youngest Blossom. "And I'm just gonna sleep over at her house, because Polly's back in town from college..."

"Is your homework finished?" Clifford asked gruffly, barely looking up from his newspaper.

"Yes, Daddy, I finished it during my free period," she nodded. 

"I suppose you can go. Just be home in time to get rested for church on Sunday," he nodded back as a smile came up on her face. 

"Thank you, Daddy," she tried not to look too excited, "I'll call her right now."

The redhead went back into the kitchen, grinning wildly to herself. She had a plan for tonight if she had permission to go out. It was a surprise for Toni and she would have hated for it to get ruined. She picked up the phone, biting her lip as she dialed Toni's number. She should be home. They were only released from school about two hours ago.

_"Topaz."_

She grinned, as she faced the wall. She'd never called Toni so early in the day. Especially not when her parents were awake and could hear her. But for all they knew, she was on the phone with her blonde best friend. "Hey, Betts," she smirked, curling the cord around her finger, "My parents said I can come with you to the drive-in and sleep over."

Toni chuckled on the other end. _"Guess I'll pick you up from Pop's?"_

"Sure, we can get Pop's before we go. I should be at your house by five," she glanced back into the living room.

_"Five it is,"_ the brunette sighed after laughing. Cheryl just knew she was shaking her head at her. 

"Okay. I'll tell my parents you said hi," she giggled.

_"Tell them I said to go fuck themselves,"_ Toni smirked, only half joking. 

"Okay bye, Betty," the redhead had to stifle her laughter before hanging up the phone and going back into the living room, "Betty says hello and thank you for letting me sleep over."

The two elder Blossoms just nodded their heads, barely paying her any mind, not that Cheryl expected anything else. She climbed the stairs to her room, starting to pack a bag for the night. For some reason, she was more excited about tonight than any other night she'd spent at Toni's. But what she had planned was important to her and she wanted everything to be perfect. 

She didn't need to pack a lot. Not only because it was only one night, but she preferred wearing Toni's clothes rather than her own. But she got a few necessary things into her pink overnight bag (including Toni's yellow hoodie that she had been procrastinating giving back to her for the past two weeks), zipped up the duffel and walked back downstairs, still dressed in her cardigan and jeans from school today. Pushing her glasses up her nose and her french braid off her shoulder, she stood in the archway to the living room, watching her parents as they failed to acknowledge her existence. 

"I'll see you tomorrow evening," she offered them a hint of a smile.

"Have a good time, Pumpkin."

"Goodbye, Cheryl."

They said their goodbyes in monotone unison, not even looking up to face her. The youngest redhead sighed. Why did she even try with them? It's not like they seemed to care either way. Biting her lip, she hiked her bag up higher on her shoulder and grabbed her keys from the hook on the wall before going out to her car, tossing her bag into the passenger seat and taking off for Pop's. 

As usual, she pulled around to the side near the dumpsters, a giddy grin spreading on her face when she saw Toni's car already there. Parking right beside her, she giggled to herself when she looked over into the Corolla to see Toni either singing or mouthing along with whatever was on the radio. 

"Putting on a concert?" she smirked after getting her bags and placing herself in Toni's passenger seat. 

"If I am, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to pay to see it," the brunette chuckled, blushing only slightly at the fact that she'd been caught. 

Cheryl just giggled in response, leaning over the center console to kiss her quickly. "Is that payment enough?"

"I guess. Maybe I'll hook you up with some backstage passes," she smirked, pulling out of the parking spot and starting the short drive over the train tracks to Sunnyside, "So, what's this surprise you said you had planned?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," the redhead shook her head, starting to get nervous.

"Can I get a hint?"

Cheryl thought about it, unsure how to really hint at what she wanted to do without giving it away completely. "Do you still have the dress you wore to the winter dance?" she asked timidly, wringing her hands in her lap as Toni drove around the potholes in the ground. 

"Yeah," tone of her voice made her seem skeptical. 

"C-can you put it on when we get to your house?"

Toni looked over at her with a quirked eyebrow, seeing her staring at her lap, so stiff and tucked into herself like she always saw her in the past few years. Whatever Cheryl was planning had to be important to her if she seemed this nervous about it. "Sure," she nodded and bit the inside of her cheek as she pulled into the trailer park.

She grabbed Cheryl's bag from the back seat and slung it over her shoulder, holding the redhead's hand on the short trip up the concrete steps and into the small trailer. 

"You want me to get changed now?" she asked quietly, turning the lights on after locking the door behind them.

Cheryl nodded her head timidly, biting her lip as she clung to Toni's hand. 

"Shoes, hair, everything or just the dress?" the brunette leaned in to kiss her cheek, running her thumb across her cold knuckles. 

"Shoes, I guess, but everything else is up to you," she mumbled quietly, smiling a little at the feeling of Toni's warm lips against her cheek, "I have to get changed too."

"Okay. I'll give you the bedroom then, lemme just grab my dress," she nodded before kissing her gently, going into her bedroom and crossing back over to the bathroom. 

Cheryl waited until the door was closed to move into the living room, pushing the coffee table out of the way so there was a little more room on the carpeted floor. She picked the cassette tape she'd received from Toni for Christmas from her bag, placing it on the small entertainment center beside the stereo before collecting her things and crossing the trailer to Toni's bedroom. She felt so comfortable in this room, like she'd been in it a million times. Which at this point, it felt like she had been. Her eyes roamed over the photographs scattered on the walls. There were a lot more of her since the first one Toni had put up from the Halloween dance. Mostly Polaroids, photos she wouldn't have to leave up to dry in the dark room for all to see. The thin photo strip from the ski lodge also hung on the wall by Toni's bed amongst all the others. 

Stripping off her school clothes, Cheryl slipped the red velvet dress on, replacing her winter boots with black heels before letting her hair out of the french braid that was holding it back from her face. Running her hands through the silky strands, she sat down at Toni's desk, pulling her small mirror a little closer as she pulled out her little makeup bag. She didn't have much, but it was enough to make her look more presentable, even though she knew Toni didn't seem to care.

After putting in her contacts, she put a layer of mascara on before reaching into the bag for the tube of red lipstick she'd bought last week. She'd only used it once, alone in her bedroom to see how she looked in it. It made her feel powerful, like she could take on the world. She could even feel her confidence rising as she spread it onto her lips, looking at herself in the mirror like she were a whole new person. Her reflection was unrecognizable, and she liked that. 

Standing up, she ran her fingers through her hair again, trying not to bite her newly painted lips as she looked at herself in the full length mirror by the door. It was rare that Cheryl felt confident in herself. Last time she did was the night of the winter semi-formal, and that night was ruined for her. She wanted to take that night back, and this was the only way she knew how. 

With a sigh, she opened the door and stepped carefully out into the dark hallway, seeing Toni sitting at the small kitchen table waiting for her. She stepped out further into the light, her heels clacking lightly on the linoleum as she wrung her hands in front of her. 

"Cheryl Bombshell returns," Toni smirked after picking her head up, standing from her seat. She had on the same dress and shoes from the dance, but her hair was down instead of up in the butterfly clip it had been in that night. The redhead blushed, ducking her head shyly as she approached her. As confident as she felt, Toni still had the ability to make her feel so meek and timid. "You look beautiful," the brunette said seriously, placing her hands at the younger girl's waist and kissing her slowly, "Do I get to know what we're doing now? I mean, I have an idea, but I don't wanna assume."

"It sounds stupid now that we're doing it, but...I just wanted to get that night of the dance back. If all that stuff with Moose hadn't happened, I'm sure you and I would have come back here and slow danced on our own or something. And even though I don't remember much of that night, I know that's not what happened."

Toni shook her head and tucked strands of loose hair behind her ear as she listened.

"I just wanted to try again," Cheryl muttered quietly, taking in a shaky breath as Toni nodded again, leaning her forehead against hers. 

"I saw the tape on the stereo. Want me to put it on?" the brunette asked, her warm cinnamon breath breezing over Cheryl's face as she nodded. 

"Please," she watched as Toni went to put the music on, trying to brush the thought from her head that this all seemed so cheesy and stupid. She wanted to have a good night with her girlfriend without letting her inner anxieties get in the way. Stepping across the linoleum and onto the carpet, her heartbeat picked up speed as the intro to "Wonderwall" filled the small room from the beginning of the tape. Toni took some of her apprehensions away when she playfully bowed in front of her, offering her hand out as if she were some kind of prince. But of course, Cheryl curtsied in a lady-like fashion, giggling as she took her hand, allowing herself to be pulled in closer before she hugged Toni around the neck, burying her face in the mane of brown hair.

"Thank you, TT," she mumbled contently as Toni started to sway with her to the music.

"For what?"

"For being okay with this," she shrugged, her body flush against hers.

"Hey, I know it's important to you. It's important to me too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I get needing closure or feeling like you need take control over something."

"I feel powerless a lot," she admitted, pulling back from the hug with a sigh, keeping her arms around her girlfriend's neck. 

Toni nodded with a silent sigh, knowing that she had something to do with that. At least in the past. She had a feeling that she would never forgive herself for everything she'd done wrong to Cheryl, but she felt so lucky that the redhead was so forgiving. "Love you," she murmured, unsure of what else to say.

"I love you too," Cheryl gave her a hint of a smile as she relaxed into her arms. Toni's heels were a bit higher than hers, giving her a bit of height on her so she could lean comfortably against her bare shoulder. She breathed in the familiar scent of her girlfriend and let it relax her and put her mind at ease. They were here together with nothing to worry about. It was hard for Cheryl to live in the moment, but with Toni it seemed to be all she wanted to do. 

Humming along to "I Swear," Toni rubbed her back gently, her hand gliding over the crushed velvet of Cheryl's dress as they swayed to the slow beat of the song. She couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine as the redhead's fingertips grazed along the nape of her neck with a feather-light touch. It was still hard for her to believe how much things had changed between them over the past few months. Even before they started talking in September, she always wished that she could go back to seventh grade and stick up for Cheryl that day in biology instead of laughing at her with everyone else. She never wanted to be the bullying ice queen everyone knew her as. She hated that she fell into that role so long ago, and she hated that she stuck with it even more. 

"What do you think it would be like if we didn't have to worry about everyone else?" Cheryl asked gently as the song ended, pulling back to look at her.

"Like, if we didn't care about my dumbass crew or your parents?" Toni chuckled a little, taking one of Cheryl's hands and lifting her arm to twirl her playfully.

"Yeah," she giggled, spinning under their connected arms before resuming her position, placing one hand on the back of the brunette's neck while the other traced the gold chain of her necklace. 

"I dunno. If we didn't have to worry about what anyone thought, we could pretty much go anywhere and do anything. We could hang out at your house or go to Pop's, just the two of us," she shrugged, "Not that I don't _love_ fake Blue and Gold meetings with Betty and Archie."

Cheryl blushed as she tucked her face into her neck again, leaving a hint of red on her tanned skin when she placed a slow kiss to her shoulder. 

"But I'll take what I can get with the situation we're in," Toni smirked, running her hands up and down her back.

Cheryl wanted, so badly, to ask about what would happen next year when they were seniors. Or what would happen between them when Toni was probably headed to California for college while her parents wanted her to go to Yale. What would become of them once summer started? Would they go to prom together? She exhaled with a bit of a shaky breath, trying to relax into Toni's arms as they swayed along to each song.

"You okay?" the brunette asked, feeling her getting tense. 

"Yeah just..." she hesitated. She couldn't unload all her thoughts on her. Not now. Last thing she wanted was to ruin their night with her overthinking. "I just never thought I'd actually get to dance with you," she pulled back to look at her again, a hint of a smile playing on her red tinted lips. 

"We almost did once," Toni pointed out with a chuckle. 

"When?"

"Remember Mrs. Wright's gym class in eighth grade? We were supposed to have two weeks of ballroom dance lessons, but you got the flu."

"Oh yeah," Cheryl blushed. She remembered being paired up with Toni because there wasn't an even ratio of boys to girls in their gym class. But she'd gotten the flu the next day and by the time she came back to school, the lesson was nearly over. She remembered being so torn over whether to be happy or sad that she didn't get to dance with Toni back then. She wanted to dance with her, but she had a feeling that if she did, the older girl would have tripped her and called her 'brace face'. 

The question of why Toni had been so mean to her back then was on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to ask. She knew that Toni had said that it was easier to be mean than to ignore her completely. But she still never understood why she wanted to ignore her in the first place. 

Toni saw the cogs turning in her girlfriend's head, knowing that she was deep in thought about something. She hated bringing up their earlier years, knowing what a negative impact she'd had on Cheryl. But she was making up for that now. At least she hoped she was. She brought her hands up from the back of her dress and up to her pale cheeks, cupping her face gently as she leaned in for a kiss. Her lips molded so neatly against Cheryl's, like they were made to be placed together like pieces of a puzzle. 

The redhead's body felt like a clock in a Salvador Dali painting, limp and melted against Toni as their moved together slowly. It baffled her how the brunette had the power to hypnotize her into forgetting whatever she had been thinking about with just a kiss. Humming breathily against her lips, she deepened it slowly, heating up the already passionate kiss. The dimly lit living room seemed to fade away around them, leaving them alone together in a sea of nothingness. Nothing else mattered.

"TT," she whispered, whimpering against her shoulder when Toni kissed down to her neck. They'd been intimate a few times since their first, but Cheryl still wasn't very confident in any of it. Her main weakness was using her voice and telling Toni what she wanted. But the brunette always seemed to know just what to do anyway. Like she could read her mind. "I-I want..." she trailed off self-consciously. 

"What do you want, baby?" she whispered against her pale, heated skin.

"You," Cheryl bit her lip. She wanted anything and everything that Toni had to offer.

Nodding her head, Toni trailed her lips back up to hers, kissing her a bit harder as she guided her back towards her bedroom, leaving the tape playing in the stereo behind them. Cheryl was surprised at her own grace in walking backwards, blindly towards Toni's bedroom as she kept their lips sealed together. She trusted Toni. She'd follow her blindfolded into a lion's den.

It wasn't until she felt her back against the soft mountain of pillows and blankets on her bed that Cheryl's hands started to grope desperately around Toni's dress, her fingers fumbling against the lavender fabric to find the zipper on the side. She whimpered against her lips, needy for, at least, the feeling of her skin against her own. 

"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Toni pulled back with a smirking chuckle, "We've got all night." 

Cheryl nodded, finding herself pulled into another kiss before she could apologize for moving too fast. With her hands still trembling, she slid the zipper to Toni's dress down, slowly pushing it down and off her body until it was a heap on the floor. She could hear the silver heels clunking down to the floor right after, urging her to kick off her own shoes into the slowly growing pile of discarded clothes. 

Toni sat up in a straddle across her lap, reaching behind her to unclasp the strapless bra she had on, tossing it over the edge of the bed as Cheryl sat up, catching her lips with hers once again. Pale, curious fingers inched their way up to Toni's chest, playing around her breasts like she had only a few times before. She hated the way her fingers still trembled, and how her heart raced nervously. She was tired of being hesitant and afraid. She trusted Toni, but there was still that part of her that was so self-conscious and scared of being rejected or made fun of.

The brunette groaned when Cheryl pinched her nipples gently, rolling the sensitive buds between her fingers just how she liked it. The younger girl was slowly but surely learning her way around Toni's body over the past few weeks, getting to know what she liked and what seemed to get the most reactions out of her. While her muscles were still tense, Cheryl smirked against her lips, pinching a bit more roughly onto the sensitive skin. 

"Cher...fuck," the former River Vixen hummed as her hips started to rock. 

Cheryl just blushed, pulling back from her lips. She was sure that her lipstick was smudged and looked awful. But the way Toni looked at her made her forget about any worry she had swirling around in her head. She had nothing to fret about. 

She took her newfound wave of confidence, unsure of how long it would last, and eased her way out from under her girlfriend, gently flipping over so she was hovering over Toni as she laid against the pillows. The little noise of delight that the brunette hummed against her neck boosted her moment of confidence even more as she started to kiss from her neck and jaw down to her collarbone, leaving slow pecks along the protruding bone below her throat. She traced over her collarbone once across before making her way further down, landing in the narrow valley between her breasts. Toni's chest rose and fell with each heavy, ragged breath she took, and Cheryl loved that she could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage. It kept her confidence at the higher level she needed.

Her teeth grazed gently against the curve of her breast, remembering how oddly good it felt when Toni did that to her last week. And judging by the goose bumps that rose on her tanned skin and the weak moan that escaped her lips, Toni thought it felt good too. Her fingers came up to tangle in Cheryl's long red hair, keeping her close as she sucked a puckered nipple into her mouth.

Toni let out a cry into the dimly lit room, keeping the redhead held to her chest as she nibbled and sucked on her sensitive skin. She reached blindly for the straps of Cheryl's dress, trying to tug it up and off, only to have her pull back and shake her head, biting her smudged lip between her teeth. 

"No, TT, let me take care of you first," she muttered with a slight pout. The brunette's eyes were dark and hazy as she looked back at her. Cheryl could feel the wetness pooling between her thighs, but she ignored it for now. Toni always made her feel amazing in more ways than she thought possible, she wanted to do the same for her for once. 

After receiving Toni's nod of approval, she lowered back down and crossed over to her other breast, laving her tongue over it slowly as her heartbeat thumped in her ears. While she did want to take her time with Toni, she knew that she was just stalling. Toni always made her feel so good with her mouth, she wanted to do the same for her. But what if she was bad at it? What if she did something wrong?

She pushed those thoughts aside as best she could, starting to kiss and nip her way down the toned abs below her. She glanced over Toni's belly button ring as her fingers hooked onto the sides of her lacy pink underwear, pulling them down tantalizingly slow. She had to prop herself up on her knees to pull them down Toni's long, smooth legs. Cheryl had seen her naked before, but it never ceased to amaze her how flawless she was. She wanted to believe that Toni could be sculpted and put on display in the Louvre museum in Paris, but she wanted the image of her like this to be hers and only hers. Cheryl had always been good at sharing, but there were some things she just wanted to keep for herself. And Toni was one of them.

She grazed over her belly button ring, feeling the metal against her swollen lips as the brunette's knees bent up on either side of her. She could smell her pooled arousal just inches away as her mouth started to water. As nervous as she was, she was so eager to taste her. She'd gotten a hint of how Toni tasted when the older girl had teasingly brought her fingers to Cheryl's mouth after touching herself just last week, making her blush as she flicked her tongue out to get a taste of the gloss that had been coated on her lips. She remembered her head spinning from that moment to later that night when she lied awake in her bed, writhing quietly against her own fingers at the memory. 

Her nose grazed gently over the neat tuft of curls above Toni's slit, nestling herself as comfortably as she could between her spread legs. It made her nervous that Toni was propping herself up on her elbows above her, presumably to watch what she was about to do. But she swallowed hard and ran a single finger through the line of her slit, biting her lip at how easily her fingertip glided against Toni's coated folds. Her heart was beating uncontrollably in her chest as she brought that finger up, timidly sucking it between her lips. 

Toni's hips jerked up as she let out of needy mewl. She was trying not to ask her for anything or to move any faster because for all she knew, the redhead would back out at the last second. But she was so desperate to feel those plump lips wrapped around her clit. "Cher, please," she whispered, panting as she watched her duck her face down. Her hot breath against her slit was blissful agony before she finally felt her tongue against her, making her cry out once again. 

Cheryl let out a breathy hum against her as her tongue swept up her slit again. Her girlfriend was intoxicating and addicting. And she needed as much of her as she could get. She let the taste of Toni take her over like a drug. Her tongue lapped against her as a slight smirk appeared on her face, hidden by her long red tresses. But her face was exposed only moments later, her hair having been raked back by Toni's fingers as she clutched the back of her head to keep her near. 

She was new to this, but she did what felt right. And Toni's desperate movements had her feeling like she was making all the right moves. Her lips wrapped around her clit, starting to suck gently on the little bundle of nerves as she got the courage to look at up the brunette. Just from meeting her eyes, she could feel her own arousal getting stronger as Toni got wetter under her tongue.

"Fuck," she grunted, running her fingers through Cheryl's hair as her pale hands stroked the backs of her thighs. "Baby, that's s-so-" Toni's stammering was cut off as she took in a harsh breath, falling back against the pillows as her chest heaved. She'd had countless orgasms over the years, but very rarely was she left seeing stars before even reaching her climax. She let Cheryl's hair fall back into her face as the younger girl ran her tongue over her clit, making her hips jerk up unconsciously. 

Cheryl smirked rather confidently, starting to tease Toni's smooth, wet entrance with the tip of her index finger. She let out an involuntary hum of happiness at the taste of Toni on her tongue, pulling back only slightly for a breather. But she slid the tip of her finger into her, her warm breath hitting Toni's skin as she tried to even out her breathing. 

"I-I'm getting close, Cher," Toni panted above her, leaning up on her elbows and pushing Cheryl's hair back again, watching with a breathy moan as she took her clit between her lips again. 

The redhead nodded and lightly scraped her teeth over the sensitive bud, adding another finger as she started to suck harder. She felt her arousal coating her chin as she tried her hardest to give Toni her release. Her eyes blinked up to meet hers again, the pleased look on Toni's face causing an involuntary moan to come from deep within her. The sound sent a vibration up the brunette's core, sending her quickly over the edge with bucking hips and desperate whines of pleasure. Toni trembled uncontrollably as her body stiffened, still holding tight to Cheryl's long red hair as she slowly pulled her lips and fingers away, crawling up Toni's body with a shy but cocky smirk. 

The room was filled with nothing but Toni's heavy breathing and the faint sound of music from the tape playing in the other room. Cheryl's head spun with desire when the brunette connected their lips and flipped her over. She giggled into the heated kiss and raised her arms, since Toni was already in the process of taking off her red velvet dress. 

"That was so fucking hot, baby," Toni panted as she pulled back from the kiss, peeling the dress over Cheryl's head. She attached her lips to her neck as she unhooked the bra from under her back, tossing it across the room and making the younger girl giggle. Cheryl's ivory skin turned a light shade of pink, blushing as Toni trailed a teasing finger down her body. Her hips rolled up into her touch when her fingertip grazed over the silky red material of her panties. "These are new," she commented with a smirk, snapping the elastic against Cheryl's skin before cupping over the heated apex of her thighs. 

She whimpered quietly, flicking her tongue out over her lips as she nodded.

"They look good on you," the brunette muttered, looking down between them at the satin and lace against her pale skin. Red was definitely her color.

Cheryl was about to thank her politely when her lips were met with Toni's. She brought a hand up to her hair, scratching gently at her scalp under the brown and gold tresses. The slim fingers against her clothed center were firm, pressing and massaging diligently, dampening the material. She could feel Toni smirking against her lips before they were ripped away again, the brunette starting to descend down her body. She spent some time on her breasts, teasing and nipping at the pale pink buds as Cheryl mewled quietly into the dimly lit bedroom. 

Toni's lips danced along her warm skin, making her feel like there was no inch of her that was going untouched before her lips met with her hipbone. She ran her lips across the waistband of her panties, spreading kisses along the smooth red material. Cheryl knew she wasn't going to last very long. 

"TT," she whispered, raking her fingers through her hair. The older girl slowly peeled the garment down, exposing her sensitive flesh to the warmth of the room. Her hips rolled up again, desperate for some friction. With Toni placed between her legs, it was impossible for her to clench her thighs together. But her mouth was so close, she just needed her a little closer. "Touch me, p-please," Cheryl whimpered, rolling her hips up again, needy as the pink tint on her cheeks deepened. 

Toni just chuckled at her desperation, bringing one of her legs up to drape over her shoulder before she swept her tongue light as a feather up her slit, ticking her clit with the tip of the warm pink muscle. She hummed at the taste of her, so familiar to her now, but no less intoxicating than the first time. Dragging her tongue up again, she held Cheryl's hips down gently, smirking as she sucked lazily at the sensitive bundle of nerves and looked up at her with heavily lidded eyes.

Cheryl had been so worked up, she knew she wouldn't last longer than a few minutes. She wanted her release. She needed it. Her chest heaved with each deep, uneven breath she took, pushing her hair out of her face as the feeling of Toni's lips on her made her lose every coherent thought in her head. "Toni," she panted, her hips bucking up to meet every diligent lick. Her girlfriend's tongue played along her entrance, sucking the skin between her lips before running her tongue over it soothingly, parting her folds. "Oh my god," she propped herself up on her elbows, feeling her muscles turning to jelly as her heartbeat picked up speed.

"You getting close?" the brunette pulled away momentarily, running the edge of her thumb against her clit as she licked her lips, waiting for an answer. 

Cheryl could only nod, just barely getting out a quiet, "mmhm," in response. But she cried and tossed her head back when Toni's lips wrapped around her clit, finding it hard to keep herself upright any longer. Over her own heavy breathing, she could faintly hear Toni's voice from the other room reading out her seventh favorite thing about her. Her orgasm was rapidly approaching. And with the brunette's tongue at her entrance and her nose bumping against her clit, she found herself falling back against the bed, seeing stars as Toni's confession of love played in the living room. 

"Holy shit," she panted, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Toni kissed her way back up her body, having spent a few minutes caressing her thighs and helping her ride out her orgasm.

"That good, huh?" Toni chuckled, letting the redhead taste herself on her lips. Cheryl had never been the type to curse in bed. Or curse at all. So she was feeling a little cocky.

Nodding against her lips, Cheryl slid her tongue against hers, holding her face in the palms of her hands. She was always amazed at how good Toni made her feel. It got better every time. But perhaps the fact that she was being pleasured while the taste of Toni's arousal coated her own lips had something to do with it this time. 

"I love you," was all she could think of to say, rolling onto her side to tangle her legs with the brunette's as she kissed her gently. Her lipstick was surely smudged by now, but she still didn't care. As spent as she was already, all she could think about was Toni and how she made her feel. Both physically and emotionally, she was so attached to her. 

"I love you more," Toni's nose scrunched up playfully against her own.

"I don't think so," Cheryl giggled, letting out a bit of a hum at the feeling of Toni's thigh pressed to her bare center.

"I'm willing to prove it," she smirked, pressing her thigh up higher and more firmly.

Cheryl gasped as she unconsciously rocked against her, grinding down against the smooth skin of her thigh. "H-how?" she bit her lip, searching Toni's eyes as they darkened with desire once again.

"I have my ways," the brunette smirked, kissing her once again and laying her down against the mountain of pillows.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy choni day! as much as i wanted to love this chapter, i'm not the biggest fan of it. but i'll let y'all be the judges of that.

Cheryl _loved_ sleeping in Toni's bed. The twin mattress covered in squishy pillows and soft blankets made it so much more comfortable than her own expensive queen sized bed at home. The fact that she had someone to cuddle with certainly played a role in the bed's comfort level too. 

Stretching out her sore limbs, she yawned and rolled over in Toni's warm embrace, leaving soft little pecks around her face. It was later in the morning than she would have normally woken up, but the two of them were awake until three am either talking, kissing, or worshipping each other's bodies for hours.

"Why do you always wake me up?" Toni grumbled sleepily as she began to stir. 

"Cause I miss you," the redhead gave her a playful pout, though she couldn't see it with her eyes tightly closed, "And I'm always the first to wake up."

Toni blinked one eye open with a smirk, shaking her head and chuckling. "You're _so_ needy," she mumbled, leaning up to press her lips to hers. 

Cheryl was quick to deepen the kiss, pressing her tongue to Toni's bottom lip with a quiet hum of desperation. Toni never thought that Cheryl would turn out to be the insatiable minx she was last night. It was like the redhead couldn't get enough, not that she was complaining. Her soft pink lips, swollen from last night, kissed lazily around Toni's neck as her fingers teased their way up to her breasts, plucking at the taut skin of her nipples teasingly. The brunette hummed contently, letting her do what she wanted. It was only eleven, it's not like either of them had anywhere to be anytime soon. 

"Don't you want me, TT?" Cheryl mumbled against her skin. A blush came to her cheeks, though she was sure after last night, she had nothing left to be shy about. 

"Of course I do, cutie," the brunette chuckled, pulling her up to kiss her. 

Cheryl smirked against her lips as tanned fingers cupped the sides of her face. She was about to start her descent down Toni's body again when a heavy, booming knock startled them apart. She immediately reached for her glasses, putting them on and pulling the comforter up higher on her chest as she sat up hastily. 

"Stay here. It's probably someone dropping stuff off for my uncle," Toni sighed, kissing her quickly before climbing out of bed. She threw on a sweatshirt and some pajama pants before fixing her hair into a ponytail as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

Cheryl watched her walk out, nervously throwing her legs over the edge of the bed. She hurriedly pulled Toni's yellow hoodie over her head and put on the black leggings she'd packed in her duffel bag. She had a bad feeling in her stomach, but she tried to push it down. 

Across the small trailer, Toni approached the door with annoyance on her face. But her annoyed expression quickly turned to one of shock and fear when Clifford and Penelope Blossom were revealed to be the ones on her concrete doorstep, looking less than pleased. 

"Whatever you're selling, we're not interested," she attempted to be witty, hoping it would help it neutralizing her facial expressions. But as she went to close the door in their faces, Clifford's large, leather shoe blocked it. If looks could kill, she would be dead and buried six feet under right about now. 

"I'm going to go about this as nicely as I can so we can avoid a major conflict," Toni could see his nostrils flare as he seemed to force himself to speak gently, "We know Cheryl is here. We would like for her to come home at once."

Her heartbeat picked up speed as she looked up into his eyes. His voice may have been calm, but his eyes were the window to his soul. He was fuming mad. And Toni knew better than to let Cheryl leave with them.

"I'm sorry, _who_ are you?" she furrowed her brows. 

"Don't play dumb, we know she's here," Penelope cut in with a voice as sharp as knives.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. And if you don't leave now, I'll have to call the sheriff's department," she crossed her arms defensively. 

"Oh, lovely idea. While they're here, they can look into the fact that you're a minor living on your own while your Serpent scum uncle is away raping and pillaging his way through the country, no doubt," Clifford scoffed, "Wouldn't want to end up back in foster care, would you?"

Toni tensed as she started to see red. Her hands clenched into fists under the baggy sleeves of her sweatshirt. "Please just leave, I don't know where your daughter is."

"Cheryl!" his voice boomed enough to make her flinch, calling into the trailer, "Cheryl, we know you're in there! Get your things, we're taking you home!"

The redhead felt bile rising in her throat from her hiding place in Toni's bedroom. Her father's voice had the power to scare her in the most _normal_ of situations, but to hear his voice calling for her from outside her secret girlfriend's trailer? She was in panic mode. 

"She's not here! Get the fuck off my doorstep!" she heard Toni's voice. Large, hot tears started to form in her eyes as she trembled fiercely. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to go home with them. She didn't want them to know she was here. "What are you doing?! Let go of me!" she heard her girlfriend again, this time sounding like she was in a struggle. She didn't even have time to think before she reached for the doorknob, running barefoot across the cool linoleum to attempt to release Toni's wrists from her father's vise-like grip. 

"Daddy, let go of her!" she grabbed shakily at his large hands. She wasn't sure if he let go because she had told him to or if it was the shock of her really being in the trailer, confirming his suspicions. Whatever it was, the look on his face made her blood run cold. 

"Cher, I can handle this," Toni tried to stop the redhead from standing in front of her like a barrier, her face red from being caught in a lie. 

"No, I won't let him hurt you," she shook her head, not even turning to face her. She was caught in a stare-down with her father. Tears streamed down her face, but she wouldn't let him break her. Not this time. "How did you find me here?"

"We stopped by the Cooper's this morning, and Alice mentioned that she hadn't seen you all night. And with the filth your mother mentioned finding in your little book of drawings, we just knew that this was the only other place you would be."

Cheryl's face turned bright red as she looked over her shoulder at Toni, swallowing hard. She didn't even question how her parents knew where Toni lived. Her parents knew everyone's business, since they were so close with the mayor and most of the big officials in town. "I'll come home when I'm ready to, Daddy," her voice was quiet, but she tried to be brave.

"You'll come home _now_ , Cheryl. God only knows what you've been doing here in this den of sin," he sneered, casting his eyes around the homey trailer behind her.

"What I've been doing here isn't your business," she shook her head, standing firmly in front of Toni. Her face was beat red and she still felt like she would throw up at any minute, but she wasn't about to let her father do this. "You can beat me all you want when I come home, but I won't let you lay another hand on her." Her parents looked a bit stunned as they exchanged glances. "She knows, Daddy. She knows about _everything_ you've done to me. The beatings, the closet, the broken arm. I've told her everything," her voice cracked as hot tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're going on about, Cheryl. But you're no stranger to lying. Just like you lied to us about your plans and whereabouts last night. And countless other times I'm sure," he scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"I know she's not lying. Who do you think she runs to every time you cover her in bruises?" Toni snapped from behind Cheryl.

"If you know her so well, you'll know that she's a clumsy girl. Any bruises she gets are from simple slips and falls," Penelope stated calmly with a shrug.

"Yeah, bullshit," the brunette rolled her eyes. 

"Cheryl, I've had enough of this. Go get your things immediately. We'll discuss your punishment in the car."

"I already told you, Daddy. I'm not-"

"Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, I will _not_ continue to stand here and argue with children!" he snapped loudly, making the girls, and even Penelope, flinch, "I shouldn't even be giving my time to the daughter of murderous Serpent scum!"

Cheryl's jaw slacked. She knew her father had problems with Toni and her family for reasons she still wasn't aware of, but it was a new low, even for him, to say such a thing in front of the brunette. But what did he mean _'murderous'?_

"Cher..." Toni started quietly, placing a shaky hand on her arm.

"Daddy, how could you _possibly_ be cruel enough to say something like that?" she interrupted, staring up at her father with tearful eyes, "I knew you were cruel, but that was just a heartless thing to say."

"No, what's heartless is befriending the daughter of your brother's murderers, Cheryl! He's looking down on you from the Holy Kingdom in shame right now. You've betrayed him by doing _whatever_ it is you're doing with this snake," he spat back.

Her brows furrowed in confusion as her father's voice faded away as if he were moving farther and farther away from her until she couldn't hear him anymore. What was he talking about?

"It wasn't murder, it was an accident!" Toni shook her head as she tried to hold back tears. 

"And what would you know of it, ragamuffin?" Penelope sneered at her, "Were you there when your parents ran that stop sign?"

"They didn't do it on purpose," she wiped at her eyes as tears of anger and sadness threatened to spill down her cheeks. 

"Y-your parents were the ones who..." Cheryl turned to Toni, dazed and confused as she took in this new information. 

"Cher, please listen to me," Toni's weak and trembling hands grabbed onto Cheryl's upper arms, turning her to face her, not even caring that her parents were standing right in front of them anymore, "I love you, okay? I was gonna tell you at some point, I just-"

"Oh please, you're too young to know of love," Penelope rolled her eyes and chuckled in a manner that made Toni's blood boil, "Whatever this is, it's just unnatural. A sinful, deviant phase."

"Hey, listen to me," the brunette placed a hand on Cheryl's cheek, turning her back to face her after she turned to look at her parents, "It wasn't on purpose, okay? It was an accident. My parents got themselves into some shit, but they would never do something like that."

"She never told you, Cheryl," Clifford sighed, shaking his head. Toni knew he was trying to get into Cheryl's head, toying with her emotions while she was vulnerable.

"Well, neither did you!" the brunette snapped, "You fed her lies about what happened all these years!"

"We did it to protect her! What's your excuse?" Penelope chimed in again, "You claim you love her, and yet you kept such a major secret from her. Probably for your own selfish reasons. How long were you going to wait before you told her the truth, hm?"

Toni shook as she tried to ignore them, looking back at the youngest Blossom in front of her. 

"She lied to you, Cheryl," Clifford placed a gentle hand on his daughter's shoulder. Toni wanted to slap it away, but she kept her hands on her girlfriend's arms, squeezing gently through the yellow sleeves of the hoodie. "Come along, sweetheart. Go and gather your things."

Toni shook her head, silently begging for Cheryl to look at her. "Cher...please," she whispered, letting herself cry, despite her attempts to keep it in. 

Cheryl slowly picked up her head and looked at her. Her expression was blank, but the older girl could see the hurt in her eyes through her glasses. It broke Toni inside to know that she had betrayed the love of her life. Just like her mother said, it was for her own selfish reasons. She should have told Cheryl much sooner, but she never did. 

"Get your things, Cheryl. We'll be in the car waiting," Clifford spoke calmly again, patting her shoulder.

After what felt like hours of silence, Toni could feel the redhead pull away from her, making her feel like her heart was literally cracking in half. And watching her glance silently at her parents before nodding and quietly walking back to the bedroom made her already cracked heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces. 

"Cher, wait," Toni shut the door as the Blossoms made their way back to their car, chasing after Cheryl. She stood in the doorway of her bedroom, watching as Cheryl shed the beloved yellow hoodie and replaced it with the sweater she had packed in her duffel bag. She followed the redhead's movements around the room with clouded eyes, finally getting the courage to step closer. "Look, I know I should have told you a long time ago. And I _especially_ should have told you after we started dating, but I was-"

Cheryl recoiled when she went to touch her shoulder, remaining silent as she packed up her things. She didn't look angry or sad. She still looked rather dazed and lost in thought. 

"I was scared, okay? We were starting to get closer, I didn't want you to go back to hating me so soon. Baby, I love you so much. I know I shouldn't have betrayed your trust like this, but please don't push me away," Toni's voice cracked as she clutched tightly to the _'C'_ hanging by her collarbone, "Please, Cher, I love you. Just give me a chance to fix this." Her breathing was ragged as she felt her chest tightening so much she was worried she might pull a muscle. 

Cheryl sniffled quietly, standing up with her duffel bag, purposefully leaving the red dress in the spot it was dropped to on the floor last night, ready to leave with every intention of leaving there, as well as the cassette tape in the stereo. She didn't even glance in Toni's direction as she moved to the door, leaving the brunette a crumpled mess behind her. She was heartbroken, unsure of how to feel about all of this. But she knew that she couldn't look back at Toni. If she did, she would end up staying. Despite feeling so betrayed, she still hated to see her so upset. 

Without a word, she walked across the narrow trailer and out the front door, closing it behind her. She let the chilly January air cool her heated face as her tears nearly froze against her skin. She didn't know how so much could change so quickly, but she knew that she was dreading every second of it. 

Her father had the back door to the car propped open for her, holding a hand out to help her in, which she accepted, tossing her bag into the backseat before climbing in. She tried not to think about the girl she just left behind. Or what would happen at school on Monday. She didn't know if she would even _make it_ to school on Monday. Her parents probably already had a flight to Switzerland booked for her. But a boarding school overseas actually sounded like the refresher she needed right now. At least she could get away from home.

She buckled herself in as her father closed the door for her, leaning her head against the frosty glass window. The trailer that had brought her so much comfort got smaller and smaller as the car took off down the poorly paved road.

"Where is your car, Cheryl? We'll need to bring it home later," Penelope asked quietly in an eerily calm voice.

"Pop's," she responded flatly, almost inaudible over the sound of the engine. 

"Your mother and I will be making arrangements for you when we return home. There's a group home not far from here that will help you with your unnatural thoughts," Clifford spoke up, glancing at her in the rear view mirror, "And if we're lucky, that little tramp will keep her mouth shut about whatever the two of you have been doing. Last thing we need is something so filthy and sinful connected to our good family name."

Cheryl's eyes squeezed shut. She was trying not to think about Toni. As upset as she was with her, she didn't like her father calling her names. It pained her that she cared so deeply for her. Toni had become such a big part of her life, she couldn't just drop her as if she never existed. "Yes, Daddy," she muttered after barely registering his words, wiping tears from her cheeks as she looked out the window at the tattered Sunnyside Trailer Park sign. She never would have imagined herself setting foot in the neighborhood, let alone finding it more comfortable and safe than her own home. 

What was she thinking getting involved with Toni Topaz in the first place? She'd been nothing but cruel to her since middle school. She picked on her constantly, tripped her, pushed her, spread rumors about her. What did she ever see in her? 

That question didn't swirl around her head long, as it immediately reminded her of the little list she'd made of all the things she loved about her. Her smile, her laugh, how she made her feel so safe and happy. She remembered the night her father hit her and how Toni was so quick to come to her aid even after Cheryl had told her off just a little earlier that day. Same with the night of the Halloween dance. And the winter semi-formal. Even just last week when she climbed up the trellis just to make sure she was okay. Despite everything from their past, Toni really cared about her. She was her savior, her protector. 

Her heart raced as she reached carefully for the golden _'T'_ that was still around her neck, twirling it between her trembling fingers. Her mind wandered to the way Toni's lips felt against her own, how she could make her forget about her tragic home life so easily. She remembered how the brunette had told her about her family. She trusted her with the secret of her uncle's ties to the Serpents and shared stories with her about her parents and beloved grandmother. And Cheryl had done the same, telling her all about Jason and her Nana Rose. 

They were _so_ in love. A love that was even greater than what she read about in fairytales. It terrified her, how strongly she felt for Toni, and sometimes she couldn't believe it was real. Her heart clenched when she thought about how that love was lost now. The memory of the look on Toni's face and how she begged her to stay made her chest ache. 

_"Please, Cher, I love you. Just give me a chance to fix this,"_ echoed in her head as her breath hitched in her throat. She looked up at the backs of her parents heads as the bumps of the car going over the railroad tracks gave her some clarity. What was she doing? After everything, was she really going back home with her parents, leaving Toni behind? Her parents were going to send her away, never to see Toni again. And what would become of the brunette? No doubt, her parents would find a way to punish her as well.  
Her eyes darted back and forth as her breathing became more labored. Her mind was racing and she couldn't think. She felt like the walls of the car were closing in on her and she needed to escape. With ragged breaths, she watched as her father approached a stop light before acting on instinct, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door, not even bothering to close it as she darted in the opposite direction. 

She heard them calling for her as she ran away as fast as her legs could carry her. She felt so weak and tired, but she kept running. She cut corners and dodged cars from oncoming traffic, finding her way back to the train tracks near Pop's. She nearly tripped over them, but she kept going, not stopping until she got to where she wanted to be. Where she _needed_ to be. 

Her legs felt like they were going to fall off, but the memories of all the amazing moments she'd had with Toni kept her going. Their first kiss, their first date, their Monday morning meet-ups in the dark room, their first fight, the ski trip, making up, every time Toni rescued her, New Year's Eve, the cassette tape. The list went on and on, seemingly endless despite only dating for almost four months. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her legs burned, fueled by memories as she approached the trailer park. She didn't look back to see if her father's car was hot on her trail. She kept her eyes forward. 

She was nearly sobbing and gasping for breath when she made it back to Toni's trailer, tripping up the concrete steps as she knocked incessantly on the door. "Toni," she cried weakly. She could feel her legs giving in as she put all her weight on the door, her knocks getting weaker the longer she waited. She nearly fell to the floor when the door opened, but she found herself falling against Toni instead, immediately feeling comforted and safe in her arms in the open doorway.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, I shouldn't have gone with them, I shouldn't have walked away from you like that. I love you, I love you so much, TT, I don't want to lose you," she sobbed against her shoulder as tears striped down her cheeks. She could hear Toni sniffling in her ear. She didn't even want to know how much she hurt her. "Please f-forgive m-" she was cut off by warm lips on her own, comforting and passionate. She whimpered into the kiss as she cupped Toni's cheeks with her cold, wobbly fingers, trying her hardest not to let her knees buckle.

"Cheryl Marjorie Blossom!" her father's voice boomed, breaking them apart. She wiped her eyes, turning to the small driveway to see him standing outside of the car, red in the face as he stared at them menacingly, "Get back in the car, Cheryl. _Now_. I've had enough of this childish behavior."

She stared at him, biting her lip before simply shaking her head no.

"Cheryl, I'm only going to say this once. You can come home now, or you can forget about _ever_ coming home again. We can and we _will_ disown you. You can kiss your car goodbye, as well as any inheritance money that could put you through college. And you can forget about ever showing your face in my church again. You will have _nothing_ , Cheryl. All because you decided to be a foolish little girl. Is that what you want?"

She was terrified. What was she supposed to do? Was she foolish for being in love and willing to risk everything for it? She was only seventeen, did she really know what she wanted yet? What if things between her and Toni didn't last? She bit her lip harder as the last question plagued her mind. But she felt a reassuring squeeze on her cold fingers from Toni's warm hand, making her look up at the brunette. Her eyes were puffy and red, like she had been crying as hard as she was. But despite the sadness that filled them, she felt like she could see all the answers she needed. They would be fine. Everything would be fine. 

Without glancing back at her father, she stepped further into the trailer, closing the door behind her. Even with Toni's warm arms firmly wrapped around her shoulders, she wasn't put at ease until she heard the sound of tires screeching, speeding away from the trailer. Hopefully never to return.

She let out a heavy sigh of relief, not realizing how long she'd been holding her breath. She was still terrified at the uncertainty of the near future, but she was able to forget about it for now as Toni's lips pecked all along her face, whispering about how brave she was and how much she loved her. She let the brunette guide her to the couch, sitting down with her as she remained in her dazed state. 

They just sat there for a while, not speaking. They just held each other tightly, like the other would disappear into thin air if they let go. And eventually they found themselves in a familiar position, laying on the couch with Cheryl's face hidden in Toni's neck, letting the brunette run her fingers along her skin under her sweater.

"I'm sorry for never telling you, baby. I should have told you. And I shouldn't have let it affect how I treated you all these years," Toni sniffled, running her fingers along Cheryl's sides with one hand while her other was gently massaging her scalp. "And I'm so sorry for what my parents did. I know no amount of apologies can ever make all of this right, but...it's all I have. I won't defend what they did, but I know for a fact that it wasn't on purpose like your dad said."

"I don't blame you for what happened," Cheryl sniffled, picking her head up slightly to look at her, "My father's done terrible things, and I'm always taking blame for it from people at school. I know what it's like to be blamed for things you have no part in, and I don't want to do that to you."

Toni bit her lip and sniffled, nodding her head. "It was jingle jangle," she muttered.

"What?"

"My parents...they weren't drunk like your parents told you. They were high. I don't know where they were headed, but they had just dropped me off at Veronica's for a sleepover. I was only ten, b-but I knew something was wrong with them. I thought they were sick. I never said anything..."

"Don't blame yourself, TT. Please don't blame yourself," Cheryl shook her head as a fresh batch of tears rose to her eyes, "I blamed myself for the longest time because my parents were coming to pick me up from Betty's after Jason's baseball game. I didn't want to go to the game. If I had gone, they would have never taken that road. But blaming myself was just making me miserable. What happened, happened. And as much as I wish I could go back and change it, I know I can't."

She reached up to wipe the wet streaks from Toni's flushed face, sniffling as she leaned over to kiss her chin, pecking up to her lips slowly. She let herself melt into the kiss, amazed that she almost let her go. "I love you, TT."

"I love you too, Cher," the brunette sniffled, kissing her and turning her face so Cheryl could tuck her head against her neck again. 

"So what happens now?" the redhead sighed, feeling oddly calm after such a chaotic situation.

Toni just sighed with a hint of a smile, rubbing the bare skin of Cheryl's sides under her sweater before shrugging her shoulders, "We'll think of something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've reached the end, kids. at least the end for the fic's main storyline. i'm still working on the epilogue, so hopefully it won't take me much longer to finish. i'm working on getting all your questions answered as best i can. thank you all again for following along and giving your feedback over the past few months!! it means the world!!


	37. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok NOW we've reached the end. i hope i managed to answer all your questions with this epilogue. the end note is gonna be me blubbering like an idiot if you're up for reading that. enjoy!

Cheryl brushed her long red hair out, looking at her reflection in the vanity mirror, sighing as usual when she couldn't decide what to do with the red tresses. Getting up slowly, she opened the window, needing some fresh air in her stuffy bedroom. Thornhill never did have good air circulation. It was one of the very few things Cheryl hated about living in the old mansion. But it no matter how cold the winters were, or how stuffy the summers got, she counted her blessings every day that she was free of her former prison.

_"I better not get arrested for being here," Toni whispered as she followed the redhead up the stairs of the home she'd been forbidden to return to. After what happened with Cheryl's parents yesterday on her doorstep, she was surprised she hadn't been arrested **already**. Not that she had done anything wrong, but the Blossoms seemed like they had the power to spin the story wildly enough to get her into trouble._

_"You're **so** dramatic," Cheryl chuckled as they climbed up to the second floor, "They're at church for a few hours." She opened the door to her bedroom, immediately grabbing her suitcase from the closet. The first thing she grabbed was Jason's baseball cap, placing it on her head before she started to sift through her closet. She was surprisingly calm, considering everything that had happened in the past two days. Whether her parents were serious about disowning her or not, she took their demand that she never return home seriously. She never wanted to even see this house again._

_"What can I get?" Toni asked, tightening her ponytail and looking around._

_"Umm..." the younger girl pursed her lips and looked around. She didn't have a lot that she couldn't live without. Could you grab some of my books from the book shelf? Just the ones that have sticky notes in them?" She always placed a sticky note in books that had passages that moved her to tears. And some of them she read multiple times._

_The brunette just nodded, going to the book shelf as Cheryl continued to pack up her closet. Even her clothes, she felt like she could live without most of them. They didn't feel like they suited her anymore. But she packed up the items she still enjoyed wearing and dumped her dresser drawers into the suitcase, not really worrying about organization right now._

_"I know the trailer's small, but I can move some of my stuff around. I'm sure my uncle will understand..." Toni placed some books on the bed, her face sympathetic. They hadn't really discussed a plan for Cheryl yet. Planning to come here today while her parents were at church was the only thing they'd planned since yesterday._

_"I couldn't impose on you like that, TT. I'll probably stay with my Nana."_

_"Are you gonna try to get emancipated like you mentioned...?"_

_"I doubt it would work with my parents being...well, my parents."_

_"It's worth a shot though, right?"_

As much as Cheryl didn't believe it would happen, she was officially emancipated from her parents a few months later, only to be placed in the legal care of her Nana Rose for a few months until her eighteenth birthday. Her car had been returned to her by law (since it was in her grandfather's name and had been left to her in his will), and she never had to see her parents again. 

Thornhill, as spooky as it could be sometimes, had warm, comfortable bed in the room she got to decorate any way she wanted. It had a pool that she and Toni spent most of their summer in. And it had no hidden prayer closet for anyone to lock her in for hours. The only thing she missed about her old house, besides the shorter drive to Toni's trailer, was Jason's room. Every day she thought and worried about what her parents would do with Jason's things after she'd left. But thankfully the memory of her beloved twin brother was alive and well here at Thornhill with plenty of pictures and stories of their childhood from her nana and the house staff.

Holding the curling iron in her hair, Cheryl bit her bare lip at her reflection, feeling a little calmer now that she had some air flowing into the room. She was so nervous. Tonight was the ten year high school reunion for Riverdale's graduating class of 1997. It would be the first time she set foot in that school since the day she graduated. It was rare that she came back to Riverdale at all after leaving for college, but when she did, the high school was low on her list of places to visit.

Sighing, she found herself staring into the warm eyes of her dear brother in the picture she had taped up on the mirror. It had been eighteen years since he died and of course, she missed him terribly. He would have walked across the stage at graduation with them ten years ago had it not been for the tragic accident. But ever since finding out the truth, she never once blamed Toni for any of it. The only person she truly blamed was her own father. Just a year after the finalization of her emancipation, the truth about her father was revealed to all of Riverdale. 

As it turns out, Clifford Blossom had been secretly running a drug cartel under the guise of his father's maple syrup industry. He'd been overseeing the production and distribution of jingle jangle and other drugs since she and Jason were in diapers, paying everyone involved a chunk of hush money. And he'd been playing the pastor role for just as long, keeping his reputation around town clean as a whistle so no one would ever suspect him. 

_"What a way to end the summer," the redhead sighed as they pulled up to the courthouse. It was packed. Like the entire town wanted to get a seat for the event. Not to mention the local news station's van parked right by the door. She shouldn't be worrying about this right now. She should be more concerned with the fact that in two weeks she would be driving across the country to California with Toni for college, getting settled in for a new chapter of their lives._

_"Is it insensitive of me to say that I can't wait to see him fry?" Toni snorted a bit, buttoning up her blazer as they enjoyed the last few moments of air conditioning before having to set foot in the stuffy old court house. Figures they would schedule the court date for the biggest scandal the town had seen in the middle of the summer._

_"I just hope they believe my testimony," Cheryl wrung her hands nervously, "I don't want them to think I'm lying for him."_

_"Babe, they already know you were emancipated and all the shit he did to you. I doubt that thought would cross the mind of any of the nosy fucks in that building," Toni reached for one of her hands, squeezing it reassuringly as she leaned over to kiss her cheek._

_Nodding, Cheryl pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. She was right. Riverdale was such a small town, and gossip spread like wildfire. When she and Toni went public with their relationship, the news spread fast, same with her emancipation. But the news of Clifford and Penelope Blossom's arrest spread around town as fast as lightning._

_"Hey," the brunette whispered, squeezing her hand again as she looked up at her through the thick frames of her glasses, "It'll be fine. He's guilty, we know that. **He** knows that, no matter how much he tries to fight it."_

_Cheryl just nodded again, leaning in to kiss her slowly. Almost two years together and Toni's kisses still managed to always make her feel better._

Her fingers twitched at the memory of how Toni squeezed her hand so tightly so many times that day. She nearly broke her hand when the older Blossom was up on the stand, confessing that he oversaw the production and made the prices so low to weed out the sinners in town. _"Sinners like Tony and Violet Topaz,"_ as he said, lumping them in with the addicts and junkies around town. Cheryl never thought she would be able to feel her fingers again with how tightly Toni had a hold on them. But she was there for her girlfriend, holding her close. 

Toni had learned from her uncle not too long after that summer that her parents had gotten roped into the drug business, needing the money before Toni's mom had gotten her high-end job on the north side. But escaping that life was more difficult than either of her parents had expected. 

Cheryl squeezed Toni's hand just as tight during the verdict that named her father guilty of multiple counts, sentencing him to a minimum of fifty years in federal prison. A week later, her mother had received a ten to twenty-five year sentence at a minimum security prison due to the fact that she not only knew about her husband's crimes, but her name was on all the business papers, whether she knew about it or not.

Toni, as relieved as she was, was understanding that Cheryl had mixed feelings on the whole ordeal. Despite how much the younger girl hated her parents for everything they'd done, there was a part of her that felt bad that they were both behind bars. That was one of the things Toni loved about her, how she never wanted anyone to feel bad. Even if it were her abusive, criminal parents, or the girl who bullied her for years. Cheryl was always kind and loving to everyone because she never wanted for anyone to ever feel even a little bit of the vast amount of emotional pain she had felt for years. 

_"I'm so sorry," she whimpered into Toni's neck. Her bed in her Thornhill bedroom had pretty much become theirs, since Toni seemed to spend more nights there than at her own house, "I'm so sorry he said that."_

_Toni just soothed her quietly, rubbing her bare back. Cheryl had only just started crying minutes ago, suddenly overcome with guilt over what her father had said about her parents. Both girls hated that the man had even put their names in his mouth. And Cheryl couldn't shake the pained look on her girlfriend's face._

_"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. What he said wasn't your fault," Toni kissed the top of her head gently, tracing her spine with the tip of her finger as the cool, summer night breeze came through the window, blowing across her face and Cheryl's bare back._

_The redhead sobbed as goose bumps rose on her fair skin, "He's just so h-heartless. I don't understand."_

_As much as she hated it, she felt a twinge of sympathy for her father. All these years he had to live with the fact that he was partially responsible for Jason's death. She assumed that it was the reason for his excessive cruelty and coldness towards her. She always knew she wasn't his favorite. He'd told her on multiple drunken occasions that he would trade her for Jason any day._

_"Hey, I don't care what he says. The only Blossom whose opinion I care about is the pretty one laying right here with me," Toni smirked, trying to get her to pick her head up._

_Cheryl just sniffled, wiping her eyes as she glanced up at her, "Really?"_

_"Well, and your Nana Rose. Can't have Nana-in-Law hating me," she chuckled, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose._

_"She loves you," the redhead smiled through her tears, wiping her eyes, "You two even have a bunch of inside jokes. I'm pretty sure she loves you more than she loves me."_

_"Doubt it."_

Since the incarceration of the Blossoms, the maple syrup industry had been shut down. Mainly due to the poor reputation it had gained after Clifford's hearing. And when Cheryl's nana died just after her college graduation, all was left to her. Thornhill, the money from the business and the sale of the factories, everything. She decided not to sell Thornhill, despite the grand offers people had made her for it. Jason had been laid to rest in the private cemetery along with her Nana and Grandpappy Blossom. Besides, she didn't feel like it was her property to sell. And after a bit of redecorating, she turned it into a nice summer home. She saw it as a place where she could bring her own family someday, if she ever had one. 

Satisfied with her reflection, Cheryl turned off her curling iron just before her Blackberry beeped.

**[Betts]:** Archie and I just dropped the kids off at my mom's. What time is the limo getting to Thornhill?

She smiled at her phone, flipping it open to text her back that she would be leaving in a few minutes. She'd arranged for a limo to escort them to the reunion. It wasn't exactly necessary, but she thought it would be a nice treat for her friends. Archie and Betty were expecting child number three now, and apparently hadn't had time to themselves for a while.

**[Cher]:** It should be here in about ten minutes, so we should be at your house in a half hour. I'm still surprised you didn't want to get there early. I mean, you arranged the whole thing. 

**[Betts]:** I helped set up earlier. Kevin's got it all under control.

Cheryl smiled at the mention of Kevin Keller. He had become a great friend of hers not long after she and Toni had made their relationship known at school at the beginning of their senior year. He had approached her in the library and asked her, of all people, for advice on how he should come out. He was new to school and his father was the new sheriff. Last she heard, he and Frances "Fangs" Fogarty, the kicker on the football team, had moved abroad a few years ago.

She never thought that she would ever be a trendsetter or a person that people looked up to. But that first day of senior year was one of the scariest days of her life. She and Toni had tried to keep their relationship as private as possible for the remainder of junior year. It was Toni's idea. After Cheryl had left with her parents the day they showed up at her door, she found herself willing to anything to get her back. And that included letting the world know the truth. She didn't care about her image anymore. But ever since Cheryl walked away from her parents, Toni thought it would be best for her to only deal with one hardship at a time. 

_"Are you sure you're okay with this?"_

_Cheryl gripped onto the steering wheel of her Impala, looking at the big brick school building as they sat in the parking lot. It was the first day of their senior year, and they had planned to make this the day they officially made their relationship known. All summer they had been so carefree, going to Pop's and the drive-in together, just the two of them like they'd wanted. They weren't exactly affectionate out in public, but they weren't afraid to be alone together around Riverdale anymore. They saved their PDA for Toni's trailer or when they would hang out at Thornhill._

_"Yeah," she breathed, nodding, not taking her eyes off the school doors._

_"Don't let anyone give you any shit, okay?" Toni reached for her chin, turning her to face her, "I know it's easier said than done, but no one's opinion matters. It's just you and me at the end of the day, right?"_

_The redhead nodded, taking a deep breath. She went to push her glasses up nervously, but forgot she had worn contacts today. Along with her makeup and bright red blouse, she almost seemed like a completely different person than last year. She hoped it wouldn't be too bad. Most people they went to school with saw them around town anyways. They knew that she and Toni were friends at the least._

_"Love you," Toni bit her lip, brushing her brown wavy hair off her shoulder._

_"Love you too, TT," her whispering voice shook as she nodded again, letting the brunette lean in to kiss her so gently that it almost made her forget her worries. "I'll see you at lunch if we don't have any classes together?"_

_"Of course," Toni smiled, reaching into the backseat to grab their backpacks for them, handing Cheryl hers with another kiss._

_The girls got out of the car and Cheryl wiped her clammy palm on her jeans before linking her fingers with Toni's. The act somehow made her feel safe and nervous at the same time. But she was ready to get it out in the open._

_When they walked through the doors, she tried her hardest to keep her head up and ignore all the stares from the students lined up along the sides of the halls. She was a different person than she was last year. She was emancipated from her parents, she had a girlfriend, she wore **red** for god's sake. She didn't have to be the meek little girl she had been all these years. She wasn't looking to be the new captain of the River Vixens or the prom queen, but she hoped that she could at least have more confidence this year. And it had to start with being honest about who she was._

The whispers of students around them sometimes still plagued her to this day, but with the whispers always came the reassuring squeeze of Toni's hand in hers, wordlessly letting her know that everything would be okay. There were days when Toni got more said about her than Cheryl did. It was mainly from her former friends who hadn't quite accepted the truth yet. But eventually, as more people started to get the bravery to follow in her and Toni's footsteps, the less they were talked about.

_**Cheryl,** _   
_**Thank you so much for being so nice to me this year. Without you, I don't think I ever would have made it through my first year of high school. I promise I'll take good care of the Blue & Gold after you all graduate. Have fun in California and keep in touch!** _   
_**Love always,** _   
_**J.B. Jones** _

Cheryl ran her fingers over the yearbook message from the freshman she'd taken under her wing that year. The girl, like Kevin, had approached her and immediately saw her as a mentor, knowing that Cheryl was a lesbian like herself. She and Toni seemed to lead some kind of revolution at Riverdale High. Whether it was kids of different sexualities or cheerleaders dating kids in the glee club. There was an aura of acceptance around the halls towards the end of that school year.

"You almost ready?" 

Cheryl snapped out of her daze and turned around in her chair, biting her painted red lip at the woman coming out of the en suite. Almost twelve years together and Toni still managed to take her breath away all the time. The brunette had on a plum colored power suite and black stiletto heels, her long hair with faded tints of pink was laid in loose waves over her shoulders as she put in her earrings. She had dyed it a few weeks ago for a themed event they'd gone to back in California. 

"Yeah," the redhead looked her up and down as she bit down harder on her lip, getting up from her chair. She did a little spin in her slinky red dress, giggling when her girlfriend pulled her in. "You like it?" she grinned, leaning in to kiss her slowly and wrapped her arms around her neck.  
Toni just smirked and ran her hands down the back of the short, silky dress. "Mmhm. Red's definitely your color," she mumbled, letting her hands come to a rest on Cheryl's toned backside.

"It's my favorite," she blushed, playing with the lapels of her blazer as her eyes locked briefly on the tarnished _'C'_ against her collarbone, "Aren't you gonna be hot in this?"

"You saying I'm not _already_ hot in this?" Toni quirked an eyebrow at her with the same signature smirk that's been giving her chills since high school.

"You know what I mean, TT," she blushed again. 

Toni chuckled and kissed her gently, "The blouse underneath works with the pants if the blazer gets too hot."

Cheryl bit her lip and nodded, distractedly reaching for the buttons of the dark purple blazer, unbuttoning them at a tantalizing pace.

"We're gonna be late..." the older girl whispered, her breath warm on Cheryl's face.

"That's okay..." Cheryl blinked her doe eyes up to meet hers, biting her lip again.

"The car's gonna be here any minute," Toni tried to reason with her, stopping her from undoing the bottom button of her blazer, "Come on, cutie. We'll skip out early and I'll be all yours for the night."

The redhead pouted playfully as her girlfriend fixed the buttons, reaching for the black clutch she'd left on the bed. The sound of a car horn came from outside and she smiled at Toni, holding a hand out.

Her heart fluttered in her chest as Toni squeezed her hand like she had so many times before. It still amazed her how she was still so madly in love with her after all these years. She could only imagine what would happen if she went back in time to tell her fourteen year old self that she was in a long term committed relationship with the girl who she thought hated her guts. It had been so long, she didn't even remember how it felt to not see and kiss Toni every day. There had only been one time since high school that she had to experience it, and she never thought that something like a break up would make her so miserable.

_"Are you sure you don't wanna come along? It's gonna be fun and maybe it'll take your mind off of Toni," Evelyn, Cheryl's roommate, lingered in the doorway as the redhead curled up on her bed._

_"Thanks, I'll pass," she mumbled, setting her pint of ice cream down on the nightstand and grabbing the photo album from the drawer._

_The other redhead sighed and uttered a quiet goodbye before closing the door, leaving Cheryl alone like she had been for the past three days. She skipped her Thursday and Friday classes and had spent the whole day in bed today, moping and crying over old photos and memories._

_Sitting up, she wiped at her eyes under her glasses and opened the album for the third time today. She didn't know why she was torturing herself like this. She missed Toni, and the brunette was probably too busy partying with her new friends to even remember who she was and everything they'd shared over the past three years._

_She didn't know who she was more angry at, Toni or herself. The brunette had gotten so wrapped up in the typical college party scene, to a point where it seemed like she was partying more than going to class. Cheryl tried to be compliant, not fighting it when Toni refused her help with her assignments. She never said anything when Toni started skipping classes. But when she found the little baggie of pills in her pillowcase, she had had enough of staying quiet._

_They had a big fight that night. Toni claimed that she was just holding the pills for a friend. And Cheryl, skeptical and scared, snapped, throwing Toni's parents and their drug use into the heated conversation. She regretted it immediately, but was left no time to explain or apologize before Toni was out the door. And she hadn't seen her since._

_**"Of all people, I never thought that you would be the one to throw what they did in my face,"** she remembered how hurt Toni sounded and it broke her heart all over again. She hadn't meant it like that, but she wasn't given the time to explain. She was just worried about her and wanted her to stay safe._

_Flipping through the pages, her heart clenched at each individual photo. From the photo strip from the ski trip junior year to the Polaroid of the two of them at the pride parade they'd gone to in San Francisco a few weeks ago. Each photo told a thousand word story, each one as romantic as the next. And she wasn't sure if she would ever get that romance back. Reaching for her walkman, she sniffled, placing the headphones over her ears. Evelyn had threatened to take the device away from her if she kept torturing herself like this, but Evelyn was neither here, nor the boss of her._

_Cheryl never thought she would ever become such a cliche. She'd never been a cliche a day in her life, and now here she was being so miserable after a break up, eating ice cream by the pint surrounded by tear-filled tissues. But she was truly heartbroken. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she flipped through the album, listening to the first track of the tape. "Wonderwall" was their song. It seemed to always play when they were together, starting with their first date. It came on the radio when they would ride together to school, it came on in the department store when they were prom dress shopping. The soft guitar of the intro was even the first thing they heard when they crossed the state line into California. It was their song, and Cheryl never thought that it would fuel her heartbreak._

_She skipped ahead on the tape when the song was over, wiping her tears when Toni's voice came through her headphones._

_**"I just...I love you, Cheryl,"** brought on a fresh batch of tears for the redhead as she wondered if she'd ever hear Toni utter those words again. **"I'm so in love with you, Cheryl Blossom.. I don't know what I did right to get to call you mine, but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that-"**_

_"Val, let me in! Fuck!" a loud bang on her door startled her a bit as she wiped her eyes and sat up straight. "Val! Come on, my key's not working!" it sounded like Toni. Cheryl's heart raced as she got out of bed, cursing her pale, flushed skin as she tried to look normal and composed before opening the door._

_"What are you doing in my room?" Toni slurred, stepping into the small dorm room. She took off her shoes and laid on Cheryl's bed, not seeming to notice or care about the used tissues that were littered around the comforter._

_"This is **my** room, Toni," Cheryl closed the door, sighing as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek, "Come on, I'll take you back to yours."_

_"It's **my** room, I'm here all the time. My key just didn't work," the brunette fought back, sitting up weakly and fumbling for the photo album Cheryl had been looking at._

_Biting her lip, Cheryl glanced at the clock. It wasn't late, but it wasn't early in the night either. What was she supposed to do? Toni was nonchalantly flipping through her photo album with a hint of a smile on her face, as if nothing was different between them. Cheryl didn't know how much she had to drink, but she wouldn't feel right leaving her alone. And with how wild her roommate was, she wasn't sure she trusted her enough to leave Toni in her care._

_Pushing herself off the back of the door, she crossed the small room to her nightstand, fetching two ibuprofen and a bottle of water. Toni barely seemed to notice her, too wrapped up in the album in her lap._

_"Take these. You'll feel less like shit when you wake up in the morning," she whispered in the quiet room, holding the pills out._

_"What are they?" Toni asked, looking at the pills._

_"Ibuprofen," Cheryl deadpanned, handing her the opened water bottle after she downed the pain killers. "Lay down, Toni," she sighed, unable to stop herself from reaching for her long brown hair, tying it back in a scrunchie in case she got sick. Surprisingly, Toni obeyed, yawning as Cheryl cleaned up some of the tissues. She wasn't sure the older girl even knew where she was. "Close your eyes and get some sleep," she whispered._

_"Are you gonna sleep with me?"_

_"I don't think that's a good idea, Toni."_

_"Then just lay with me. And call me TT, I like that," Toni pouted, pulling her down onto the mattress._

_"I don't think I should," Cheryl's whispering voice trembled as she tried to keep her distance. But it was difficult on a twin-sized bed._

_"Please, Cher Bear? For me?" the drunk girl bit down on her lip gently, her glassy eyes shining at her. Her warm hands ran up and down Cheryl's arms before reaching for the exposed skin of her sides under her tank top, making the redhead gasp. Toni knew that was one of her weaknesses. The simple touch on her sides always made her melt and she knew it._

_She held back a whimper of desperation. She missed Toni so much and she craved physical contact with her more and more each day. Biting her lip, she relaxed down beside her, barely getting any time before Toni was nuzzled sleepily up to her side._

_"G'night, baby girl," the drunk brunette mumbled, wrapping an arm securely across her torso._

_"Goodnight, TT," she whispered, taking a deep breath as she stared up at the ceiling._

"Welcome back to Riverdale High," Ethel Jones smiled, handing name tags to her four former classmates. 

With polite 'thank you's, Cheryl, Toni, Betty, and Archie walked into the gymnasium. It looked exactly the same, as did almost everything else in the building. The decorations were just as cheesy as every school dance they'd ever attended, and the DJ was playing all the songs that were popular between their freshman and senior year. 

"Really takes you back, huh?" Archie smiled at the women alongside him. The summer before senior year, his teeth had straightened out and he had toned up his body enough to make Betty the envy of almost every girl at school. 

"It doesn't even feel like it's been ten years since we were last here," Cheryl chuckled, holding tightly to Toni's hand, "Well, me and Toni at least."

"Trust me, there's days that I _wish_ I didn't have to be here," Betty rolled her eyes, resting a hand on her swollen stomach over her pale pink dress. 

"I thought you loved teaching," Toni cocked her head at her.

"I do, but high schoolers are so much more wild than I remember. I'd go back to teaching at the elementary school in a heartbeat."

Archie ran a hand up and down her back sympathetically. 

"What about you, Arch, how's Andrews and Son?" Cheryl smiled, reaching for a small plastic cup of punch, handing one to Toni. 

"It's going good. Dad's got me doing the books instead of working on site now. Better pay and my schedule's more flexible for the kids," he nodded, "What about you two? Are you still working on another book? Freddie's obsessed with the last one."

Cheryl blushed and nodded, sipping at her punch. A few of the children's books she'd written and illustrated had become pretty popular around the country. It started as a little project she'd started in college and she managed to turn it into a career with the encouragement of Toni and her friends. "I just sent it off for final approval two weeks ago," she smiled, blushing even more at the proud look on Toni's face. 

"We're gonna need another autographed copy then," Betty smiled, "Are you still doing wedding photography, Toni?"

"Weddings, birthday parties, gender reveals, you name it," she nodded, holding up her cup of punch as Cheryl wrapped an arm affectionately around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder, "It's keeping me busy."

Cheryl grinned up at her girlfriend, keeping her chin propped on her shoulder. "She's a hot commodity as of late." She was so proud of Toni. She remembered back in high school when the brunette didn't want anyone to know about her photography, and now people from all over the country wanted her to shoot for their special events. 

_"Come on, please?"_

_"Don't you have enough?"_

_"I can never have enough photos of you, babe, you know that," Toni smirked, snapping another while Cheryl hid her face. They were in Toni's dorm room like they normally were since her roommate was out more often than Cheryl's. Unfortunately freshman dorm assignments were randomized otherwise they would have chosen to room together._

_"You're incorrigible," the redhead chuckled and rolled onto her stomach to flip to the next page of her Art History textbook, jotting down notes as the Spice Girls played on the small radio in the corner._

_"But you're my muse," she whined, flopping down beside her, getting a shot from diagonally above her before putting the camera down and leaning down to kiss around her shoulder and the side of her neck, "Come on, Cher, please?"_

_Cheryl just groaned. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and she was a baggy t-shirt and pajama pants. "But I look gross right now," she pouted, pushing her glasses up as she looked up at her, resting her cheek against her own arm._

_"Baby, you could wear a used trash bag and still manage to make it look good."_

_The redhead blushed and sat up with a sigh, looking at her girlfriend with a bit of a menacing, but playful, glare, her lips puffed out into a pout._

_"You know you're hot when you're annoyed," Toni bit her lip from behind the camera, snapping a shot of Cheryl's face._

_She tried to keep the same stern, annoyed face, but she lost it quickly, giggling as a blush came over her cheeks. One of these days she wouldn't get giddy at the littlest compliments from Toni. "Why do you like taking pictures of me so much? You see me all the time. You could be out there taking pictures of the flowers in the quad or something," she mumbled, resting her head on her bent up knees as Toni took another photo._

_She lowered the camera from her face with the softest smile Cheryl had ever seen, "Because I only photograph beautiful things. And you, babe, are more beautiful than any flower in the quad." Toni put the camera down on the bed, reaching for Cheryl's chin and lifting her head for a kiss. "Also cause when I use you as a subject for my assignments, I get higher grades," she scrunched up her nose with a smirk as Cheryl giggled against her lips. She couldn't really say anything since the same thing seemed to happen whenever Toni was her muse for an art project._

_"I love you," the redhead hummed against her lips before groaning at the click of the camera Toni was holding up beside them._

"Now to the most burning question, are you ever gonna get married?" Betty quirked an eyebrow, her face glowing with excitement. 

The two women looked at each other as Cheryl pulled back from Toni's shoulder. "I mean, we're practically married already. It's not like it can happen legally anyways," the brunette shrugged as Cheryl nodded.

"What about like, a civil union or something? I mean, it can't be _impossible_ ," Archie frowned.

"We're fine with how things are now. I don't think we're in any rush to change anything," Cheryl smiled, a hint of sadness in her eyes. It was true, they were happy the way they were now, but she would love to marry Toni and make things official and legal.

After a bit more chatting, the four of them separated to go mingle with their former classmates. Toni met up with a few of the Vixens. Most of them had chilled out in senior year and kept in touch with Toni. Veronica had actually become very supportive of their relationship, much to both their surprise. Not long before graduation, the raven haired cheerleader ended up coming to terms with the fact that she was bisexual herself.

Cheryl was at the refreshment table, refilling her drink while Toni chatted with her old friends, glancing around the gymnasium.

"Hey, Cheryl," a timid male voice came from behind her. It made her nervous, but she turned around anyways, finding Moose Mason standing a reasonable distance from her. 

"Moose," she took in a deep breath, unsure of what to say. She hadn't spoken to him since the night of the winter semi-formal. 

"I know it was a long time ago, and it probably means nothing to you now, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for...for what I did back in junior year. I was a stupid kid with stupid friends, and I made a lot of stupid decisions. I understand if you don't forgive me, but I just wanted to take the chance to apologize for it."

He looked so nervous to talk to her, and even though Cheryl hadn't even thought about what happened in so long, it wasn't something that she would ever forget. 

"Thank you, Moose," she smiled a little, "I appreciate that."

He nodded with a smile and rubbed his hands together nervously just as Toni made her way over to them, wrapping an arm protectively over Cheryl's shoulders.

"Mason," she stared him down.

"Don't worry, I was just leaving," he gave them a half smile and turned around, walking in the opposite direction. 

"You okay?" the brunette rubbed Cheryl's ivory shoulder with a kiss to her temple.

"Yeah," she smiled, kissing her gently just as the too familiar intro to "Wonderwall" came through the gym speakers. 

"Well whatdya know?" Toni smirked, reaching for her hand, "Dance with me?"

The redhead smiled, nodding as a blush came over her cheeks, letting Toni lead her out to the dance floor. For the first time, she didn't care. They'd been to school dances together in their last year of high school, but the worry about what people would say or what they would think was always in the back of her mind. But now, all she could think about was how gorgeous and amazing her girlfriend was and how far they'd come.

"Are you still happy with me, TT?" Cheryl asked, linking her fingers together behind Toni's neck, playing at the baby hairs under the soft mane of brown and pink. It was a silly question and she knew it, but she never tired of the reassurance that Toni still loved her. 

"Of course I am," she pulled her closer, swaying slowly to the tune as she smirked, "What about you? You sick of me yet, Blossom?"

"I could never get sick of you, TT," she shook her head, heat rising to her cheeks as she pressed herself closer to her long-time girlfriend. She moved the smooth strands of hair off Toni's neck, and ducked her face into the warm curve of skin, "You're my everything." Goosebumps raised on her skin as the brunette's fingers made a slow trail up along the zipper of her dress. For a moment, as the song and Toni's breathing filled her ears, she was back in her trailer, cassette tape playing in the stereo as they swayed alone in the warm living room. They had been together since they were seventeen. And now, eleven years later, Cheryl still felt like she did back then, like the relationship was new, fresh and exciting. 

"Come on," Toni kissed her cheek and trailed her hands down her arms until their fingers were tangled together, starting to lead her off the dance floor.

"Wait, where are we going?" her eyebrows knit together, following her anyways. 

Toni looked back at her, her wavy hair bouncing on her shoulders as she gave Cheryl a devilish grin. The redhead was ashamed at how long it took her to realize where they were headed. It had been ten years since she set foot in these hallways, but she could never forget the way to the photography lab. She could probably make her way there, blindfolded, from any corner of this school. 

The halls and stairwells were empty, considering the alumni were all gathered in the gym. The sound of music faded the farther they walked from the gym, and the sound of clicking heels and girlish giggles were the only noise that bounced off the metal lockers that surrounded them. 

"What if the dark room's not there anymore? I mean, everything's turning digital nowadays," Cheryl started to swing their arms between them once they got to the second floor. 

"If Clemmons is still the photography teacher, there's no way he'd get rid of that room. Digital photography was that guy's biggest pet peeve. He wouldn't even accept Polaroids or disposable prints in class," Toni snorted a light laugh, already picking a bobby pin from her hair to pick the lock once they approached the faded wooden door of the classroom.

The redhead glanced around, making sure that no one else was rebelling and roaming the halls. Though there was no risk of detention or suspension, her heart still raced, worried about getting into trouble. But before she knew it, she was being tugged into the classroom and pressed against the door. "You're crazy," she giggled against Toni's lips, reaching back to lock the door behind them as the brunette's hands roamed anywhere between her hips and the short hem of her dress. 

"Crazy in love," Toni smirked, chuckling.

Cheryl rolled her eyes, "Okay, Beyonce," she grinned as steamy kisses were pressed to her lips, making her head spin. She chased Toni as she slowly pulled back, pulling her in for one more kiss before following the woman to the dark room door. With the switch flipped on, the red lighting filled the room. "Wonder what these walls would say if they could talk," she sighed with a shy smile. 

"I guess it's a good thing they can't," the brunette stepped further into the room, looking around. The walls and lines weren't covered in photos like they would be during the school year. The tables weren't loaded with equipment and tubs. But the room still gave them the same sense of comfort that it did in high school. They had a dark room in the basement of their home in California, but as extensive and personal it was, it didn't hold a candle to this one. This was pretty much where it all began for them.

Toni draped her blazer over the back of the cracked and faded desk chair, rolling it aside. "You coming?" she quirked an eyebrow at her girlfriend before crouching under the wooden table, sitting against the wall behind it. 

"I'm in a dress, TT," Cheryl ran her hands over the red fabric that covered her torso.

"So?"

_"What are you doing?" Cheryl giggled, watching Toni crawl under the table._

_"Making myself comfortable," the brunette smirked up at her from under the wooden table, "You gonna join me?"_

_"I'm not really dressed for sitting on the floor," she glanced down at her denim pinafore dress._

_"So?" Toni chuckled and leaned back against the wall, opening up her small bag of doritos._

_She bit her lip as that simple Toni Topaz logic made her wonder what she was so worried about, crawling under the table to sit beside her. "So why are we under here?" she turned to her girlfriend, pushing her glasses up._

_"Change of scenery?" she shrugged, holding the bag out to her and chuckling as Cheryl plucked a chip from it._

_"I can't believe it's already almost summer vacation," the redhead sighed, leaning back against the wall, "Is it me or have these past few months flown by?"_

_"Time flies when you're having fun," Toni smiled before frowning, "I mean...waiting on your emancipation and dealing with shit from your parents wasn't fun, but-"_

_"I know what you meant. It has been fun with you, TT," she blushed._

_"The fun's gonna keep going over the summer right?"_

_"Do you want it to?" Cheryl bit her lip nervously._

_"Course I do," Toni nudged her gently with a smile, reaching into her backpack. "Don't freak out," she turned to the redhead briefly before pulling out a small pocket knife from one of the small zippered sections._

_Cheryl's eyes widened as she flipped the knife open, her jaw slacking when the brunette started to carve into the underside of the table above them. "What are you doing?"_

_"Claiming this spot as ours," she smirked, her tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on her work. Cheryl watched as little shavings of wood fell from the surface. Toni blew on the wood, swiping her hand over the **'C+T'** she'd carved into it. "There."_

_The younger girl glanced up at the markings, biting her lip as her cheeks tingled with a blush. She wasn't sure what would happen if anyone ever saw this, but what were the chances that anyone else would sit under the table? Leaning into Toni, she captured her lips in her own, cupping her cheek affectionately. "You're crazy. And you taste like doritos," she scrunched up her nose with a giggle, still kissing her playfully._

Cheryl ran her fingers over the letters carved into the underside of the table, smiling as Toni scooted closer to her. "Looks like we're still the only ones to make this their hangout spot," she whispered.

"I mean, I couldn't imagine this being the hottest chill spot in school," the brunette shrugged, "We've just always been unique like that."

"I guess we have." Cheryl looked up at the letters above them as Toni sifted through her small handbag, "You're not gonna carve something else up there, are you?"

"No, I just figured, since we're having a blast from the past..." she pulled a folded up paper fortune teller from her purse, morphing it into shape and starting to work it between her fingers, "...Might as well add another touch of nostalgia."

Laughter bubbled up from Cheryl's chest when she saw the paper toy. "God, I haven't seen one of those in _years_. I'm surprised you remember how to make one."

"You saying you're too good for the cootie catcher?" Toni quirked a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her. 

"Never."

"Pick a color then, cutie," she held it out to her. The colors were all distorted from the red lighting of the room, but she had them written out on the paper corners.

"Pink."

_P-I-N-K_

"Why pink?" Toni asked, smirking, after flipping it four times in her hands.

"Cause it's your favorite color," Cheryl whispered, biting her lip, turning her body towards her.

"Pick a number," Toni held the fortune teller to her chest secretively. 

"Don't I need to see the options?"

"Just pick a number."

"Twelve."

"Why twelve?"

"Cause that's how many years we've been together," she smirked.

Toni bit her lip and looked into the center of the fortune teller as she flipped it twelve times before handing it over to her.

"I think you've forgotten how to play," Cheryl chuckled, taking the toy from her and looking into the center, seeing no numbers written inside. She was confused, but one small section of the paper had _'Pick this one'_ written on it. Her heartbeat sped up. Toni was being so quiet. She looked up at the brunette, looking into her nervous brown eyes.

Biting her lip, she lifted the section of paper. It was weighed down, making her heart nearly thump out of her chest. And she nearly dropped the fortune teller from her shaky fingers when she saw the sparking diamond ring taped up on the inside with _'Will you marry me?'_ written above it in Toni's familiar handwriting. 

"Toni..." she whispered, breathless as her eyes flicked back and forth between the ring and her girlfriend.

"Cher, I love you," the brunette started, placing her hands on Cheryl's bare, bent knees, "It's been you and me for twelve years now. You've been my whole world since junior year. And I knew I liked you even long before then, I just...had a shitty way of showing it. And after all that, I'm still in total shock that you even gave me the time of day. Even when things got rocky in college, you were there for me when I didn't deserve it..."

Cheryl's mouth hung open slightly as she ran her fingertip over the diamonds that lined the silver band.

"Baby, you're _it_ for me. I've known that for over a decade now. We're not Betty and Archie, we can't get married wherever we want, or have kids whenever the hell we feel like it, but I know we can figure everything out together like we've been doing since '95," she watched as Cheryl peeled the ring from under the thin layer of tape, examining it in her hands as Toni's heart beat rapidly in her chest, "So whatdya say, Bombshell? You feel like figuring it all out with me?"

A tear slipped down Cheryl's cheek, her shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath she took. Each passing second was torture for the brunette, but she waited as patiently as she could for an answer. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as Cheryl slid the ring onto her finger.

Cheryl had been through plenty of scary experiences. She had been abused for a majority of her youth, bullied, drugged, and nearly raped. But there were experiences that scared her in good ways. Like when Toni brought her to Sunnyside for the first time, or when she left Riverdale for college. She never thought that she would ever find happiness. And especially not with Toni Topaz of all people. But this woman in front of her had helped her realize how strong and confident she could be. She made her feel beautiful and safe. She helped her realize her own power, helping her stand up to her parents, giving her the encouragement she needed to get through it all. Toni truly was her everything and she couldn't imagine life without her. And she didn't want to. 

"Cher?" Toni's shaky whisper brought her back to reality, and the sparkling ring on her finger. Her tongue flicked out over her lips as she looked up into the brown eyes she loved so much, leaning across the small space between them to wrap her arms around Toni's neck. She kissed her fiercely, passionately, just like she had the night of their first date, shin deep in the freezing river after Toni asked her to be her girlfriend. 

"Is that a-"

"Yes it's a yes, TT," she nodded against her lips, kissing her breathlessly, "I love you, I love you, I love you. I wanna be yours."

"You're already mine, baby. Nothing's gonna change that," Toni wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into her lap, making sure she didn't hit her head on the table above them, "I love you, Cheryl."

"I love you too, baby. Forever."

"You promise?" the redhead pulled back slowly, wiping tears from her eyes before extending a pinky to her.

"Promise," Toni swiped a few tear stains from her own cheeks, linking their pinkies together tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO. i'm emotional as fuck so just bear with me. writing this fic has been one of the best experiences of my life. just a few months ago, i met @whatmarianaa (follow her on twitter) and she convinced me to watch 'everything sucks!' and that gave me the inspiration for this story. so it would truly be nothing without her. especially since she's my brainstorming partner in crime, editor, chapter checker, and motivator.
> 
> i've also met and befriended so many wonderful people on twitter. writing is something i've never been confident in, but my confidence has definitely been boosted after writing this and reading so many kind comments. it's honestly overwhelming. people have made fan art and video edits, and i love seeing them so much! and i've had a few people reach out and tell me how much they see themselves in this version of cheryl, so i'm glad that i could write her as such a relatable character. we started this in september before we knew anything about the flashback episode of riverdale with nerdy young penelope, so seeing our nerdy lil bub (kind of) come to life was such a fun experience. 
> 
> we're both so appreciative of every one of you who have read and followed along with this story. it's really been amazing and i can't believe it's already over. we have another story in mind that will hopefully be ready by the end of the year. and @whatmarianaa has been planning a sequel to this fic, so keep an eye out for those! 
> 
> thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment! i know toni was a mega bitch in the beginning and that was a major turn off for some of you, but i'm glad y'all had enough faith in us to stick with it to see her turn out the be the softie she truly was. i hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing!

**Author's Note:**

> big ol' shout out to my main oomf and brainstorming partner! this pipe dream of a fic would be nothing without you, girl! (she's @whatmarianaa on twitter, go follow and peep her amazing artwork!)


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